This episode centers on one big listener question: Did I romanticize my husband — and overlook red flags while dating?

A newly married listener from South Africa writes in just three months after the wedding, struggling with harsh words during conflict, old wounds resurfacing, and the fear that she may have confused spiritual compatibility with true emotional safety.

We unpack what “gentleness” should look like in marriage, how triggers differ from cruelty, and why sober-minded dating matters more than shared ministry or chemistry.

And… BIG NEWS: Yvette is officially an author! We talk through her new devotional Release • Rest • Remain, the John 15 rhythm that helped her rebuild her spiritual foundation, and why preorders matter for first-time authors.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• Chocolate Baby Storytime: evil drawings, angel drawings, and toddler chaos

• Uzi’s 6-goal hockey game & homeschool updates

• The story behind Release • Rest • Remain and how the devotional was born

• Listener Email: Did I romanticize this relationship?

• Emotional triggers vs. emotional harm in early marriage

• The importance of gentleness, safety, and sober-minded dating

• How upbringing and humor styles shape conflict

• Patreon preview: the viral “flat tire” clip & weaponized tears

• “How Married Are You?” moments

📚 Resources & Links Order Yvette’s Devotional: 👉 Release, Rest, Remain: A 30-Day Devotional to Embrace Abiding Over Striving https://a.co/d/4ATlBWO

Glen’s Book — Father Yourself First: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

🎧 Audiobooks Available wherever audiobooks are sold.

📍 Follow @beleafmel https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

💍 Premarital Advantage (PMA) https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

🌿 Patreon Community www.patreon.com/HMAY 💬

Join the Conversation Have you ever looked back and realized you romanticized a relationship? How did you regain clarity or rebuild trust? Share below.

This episode dives into one major listener question: Are we unequally yoked? A 31-year-old Christian single mom writes in, deeply in love and preparing for engagement — but scared that her Protestant faith and her partner’s Eastern Orthodox roots might create cracks later. We unpack theology vs. lifestyle, how beliefs show up in everyday routines, and what unity actually looks like when two people worship differently but love Jesus fully.

We also share a joyful, chaotic Chocolate Baby Storytime from a commercial shoot involving $15k cameras, water balloons, and children who absolutely refused to listen 😂. And… BIG NEWS: Yvette is officially an author! We talk through her new 30-day devotional Release, Rest, Remain: A 30-Day Devotional to Embrace Abiding Over Striving and why this rhythm has helped her heal, surrender, and stay grounded.

Plus, a vulnerable update from our “4th baby mama” listener and a needed reminder that shame from strangers online is not your inheritance.

This one is heartfelt, thoughtful, funny, and full of real clarity for anyone navigating faith, family, and long-term commitment.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• Chocolate Baby Storytime: commercial-set chaos, kids, cameras, and water balloons
• Yvette’s new 30-day devotional & the story behind Release, Rest, Remain: A 30-Day Devotional to Embrace Abiding Over Striving
• Is this relationship truly unequally yoked? Breaking down Protestant vs. Eastern Orthodox
• Theology differences vs. lifestyle differences — what actually impacts a home
• The “4th baby mama” follow-up + why the internet’s shame has no authority over you

📚 Resources & Links

Order Yvette’s Devotional:

👉 Release, Rest, Remain: A 30-Day Devotional to Embrace Abiding Over Striving: https://a.co/d/4ATlBWO

Father Yourself First (Glen’s Book):

👉 https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

🎧 Audiobook:

Glen narrates the full audiobook wherever audiobooks are sold.

📍 Follow @beleafmel for tour dates, signings & updates

https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

💍 Premarital Advantage (PMA):

Tools for dating, engaged, or rebuilding couples

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

🖤 Saturday Men’s Group (Black men | 7 a.m. PT):

Join the Father Meet-Up

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

🌿 Patreon Community:

Longer episodes + behind-the-scenes + mentorship tiers

www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

Have you ever dated someone from a different church tradition?What helped you find unity — or clarity that it wasn’t the right fit?

Drop your story below. Your insight might guide someone today.

❤️ If This Helped You

Like, subscribe, and share with someone navigating faith differences, parenting, or big relationship decisions.

This episode centers on two powerful listener emails — one from a man afraid his insecurity is destroying a healthy relationship, and another from a woman untangling herself from a four-year situationship filled with hidden children, heartbreak, miscarriages, and blurred co-parenting lines.

We talk honestly about trust, emotional safety, soul-ties, red flags, and why some relationships can’t be prayed into health.

Around the emails, we also share a hilarious family moment involving an accidental birds-and-bees talk at dinner, and a quick update on the book tour and Patreon goals.

This one is vulnerable, grounded, and full of clarity for anyone trying to love better and choose wiser.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• How insecurity dims your partner’s light
• Taking thoughts captive vs. letting fear run the relationship
• Why “she’s too friendly” might be about you, not her
• What emotional safety looks like in dating
• A jaw-dropping story about hidden kids, lies, and postpartum abandonment
• Why F-boy patterns repeat — and how to break yours
• The truth about co-parenting with someone who won’t commit
• How to protect your heart while still raising your child well
• Community updates + how your support keeps the show going

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself First

https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:🎧 Glen narrates the full audiobook wherever audiobooks are sold.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Follow @beleafmel for ATL, LA, NYC + more

https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage (PMA):

💍 Tools for dating, engaged, or healing singles

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men | 7 a.m. PT):

Join the Father Meet-Up

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Longer episodes + ad-free + behind-the-scenes

www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

What was the moment you realized a relationship wasn’t safe for your heart?

Drop it below — your wisdom might free somebody.

❤️ If This Helped You

Like, subscribe, and share with someone navigating trust, blended families, or heartbreak healing.

In this episode, we read an email from a listener who loves her boyfriend but doesn’t feel like his first choice. We talk insecurity vs. truth, attraction, healing from past relationships, and how to discern if you’re being chosen or just convenient.

Plus, Chocolate Baby Storytime with a family rap session, camping trip confessions, and updates on Premarital Advantage, Father Yourself First, and the Saturday men’s group for Black men.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• When “I’ve got a wandering eye” is actually a confession

• The difference between normal attraction and shopping for better options

• Why journaling your story brings clarity

• Feeling chosen vs. feeling like a backup plan

• How past trauma shapes dating patterns

• Why inexperience can actually be a dating superpower

• Choosing your “hard” while still protecting your heart

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself First https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:

🎧 Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Follow @beleafmel https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage:

💍 Worksheets & guidance for dating, engaged, or newlywed couples https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Dating to Marry – “The List” (FREE):

📝 Available on the homepage https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.com

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Bonus convos & behind-the-scenes https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

Have you ever felt like someone’s option instead of their choice? What brought you clarity? Drop it in the comments.

❤️ If This Helped You Like, subscribe, and share with a friend navigating faith, dating, and emotional honesty.

We’re talking to a solo mom who wrote in real honest: should she try again with her son’s dad? We unpack trust after hurt, how healing changes what you want, and why “for the baby” is not a dating strategy. We keep it tender, tell the truth, and give some practical next steps. Plus, Chocolate Baby Storytime, cleanse life, and Lily the dog leaving sticky-note reminders like a tiny furry manager.

This one is warm, real, and rooted in wisdom. Pull up a chair.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• Naming hurt without living in it

• Signs of real change vs wishful thinking

• Co-parenting well even if romance is paused

• Why a no-dating season can be a reset for your soul

• What a rebuild plan should include if you try again

• A marriage quote that reframes starting over with the same person

• Community updates, Patreon goals, and how to get plugged in

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself First

https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:

🎧 Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Follow @beleafmel for ATL, NYC, LA and more

https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage:

💍 Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Bonus convos and behind-the-scenes

www.patreon.com/HMAY

https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

What boundary or practice helped you heal after a breakup? Drop it in the comments. Somebody needs your wisdom.

❤️ If This Helped You

Like, subscribe, and share with a friend who is navigating co-parenting, faith, and second chances.

She wrote in heartbroken: six months in, different faith practices, sex after planning to wait, and an “I love you” he stopped saying. Then her dad talked to the boyfriend who admitted he didn’t plan to marry her and wanted to “see what else is out there.” We respond with care and clarity: nothing was wasted, learn the lesson, forgive, and choose wisely next time.

We also talk sibling dynamics at home, privileged kids and holiday expectations, Glen’s new book release, and practical ways to discern alignment before you get too far in.

✨ What You’ll Hear

💭 “Nothing was wasted” reframed: hurt, anger, embarrassment, and self-compassion

💬 Saying “I love you” too soon vs living it with actions

🙏🏾 Dating with different faith practices and holiday habits

❤️ Why alignment on core values matters before marriage

🧠 Premarital questions that save time, money, and heartbreak

📖 Father Yourself First book release and tour

👥 Community for Black men who need a safe place to land

📚 Resources & Links

Order the book:

👉 Father Yourself Firsthttps://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook:

🎧 Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Tour dates & signings:

📍 Check Glen’s Instagram for ATL, NYC, LA + more — @beleafmel

https://www.instagram.com/beleafmel

Premarital Advantage:

💍 Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds.

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT):

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom 👇🏾https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community:

🌿 Access bonus convos and behind-the-scenes content — www.patreon.com/HMAY

https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

💬 Join the Conversation

What is one lesson you learned from a relationship that didn’t work out? Drop it in the comments below.

❤️ If This Helped You

Like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs wise counsel on dating, faith, and commitment.

📘 ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY!

A listener writes in about the woman he loves—smart, beautiful, and ready for marriage… except she believes a man should pay for everything while she saves her own money “for security.” She says a woman shouldn’t spend on an able-bodied man. He calls it an escape route. Now he’s wondering: is this financial boundary a red flag or just her way of protecting herself after trauma?

We talk:

💬 “You can’t build a marriage while keeping one foot out the door.” — Glen breaks down why financial distrust is often emotional distrust in disguise.

💰 How “wife allowance” culture and social media talking points are warping partnership into transaction.

❤️ The difference between protecting yourself and refusing to be a team.

🧱 Why unhealed trauma around money can become the foundation of your marriage — and eventually its fault line.

🙏🏾 Yvette shares how witnessing her own mother’s financial vulnerability shaped her drive for independence—and how healthy transparency healed that fear in marriage.

Would you marry someone who refuses to combine money with you? 🤔

Episode 267 of How Married Are You? is live—tap in and share your thoughts!

PRE-ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY!

Father Meet- Up Zoom Link

What do you do when you catch your husband on the Ring camera talking about another woman… and realize the fairytale you’ve built together might’ve never been real? 💔

This week’s listener letter, “Broken Pieces,” comes from a wife and mother of four who discovered her husband’s long-term emotional affair—one that started years ago and only came to light by accident. Now, even after counseling, her trust is shattered and she’s asking: do I keep fighting for this marriage, or is it time to let go?

We talk:

💬 Why emotional affairs can be just as devastating as physical ones—and why men often underestimate their impact.

💔 Yvette on what it really takes to rebuild trust after betrayal and why healing can’t be rushed to “get back to normal.”

🧠 Glen breaks down why many husbands confuse regret with repentance—and the work required to earn back safety.

⚖️ How couples therapy can stall if both people aren’t equally honest about the damage done.

🙏🏾 The hard truth: forgiveness and reconciliation aren’t the same thing—and you can choose one without the other.

Have you ever stayed after discovering something you could never unhear? Episode 266 of How Married Are You? is live—tap in.

PRE-ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY!

What do you do when the man you love keeps hitting pause on the future you planned together?

💍 After six years—three long-distance, three living together—a listener’s boyfriend still hasn’t proposed or started premarital counseling. She feels more like a roommate than a partner, while he insists they’ve “gone backwards” and need to fix their foundation before moving toward marriage. Now she’s wondering: is this a season to rebuild… or a sign it’s time to walk away?

We talk:

💬 "When a man says ‘not right now,’ he often means ‘not you.’” – Glen breaks down what “not ready” really signals about a man’s heart and leadership.

⚖️ How living together before commitment can blur standards and stall clarity about the relationship’s direction.

❤️ Why comfort can replace pursuit—and what women lose when they stop being chosen.

🧱 Yvette’s reminder: “You can’t fix the foundation while living in the house.” If it’s shaky now, marriage won’t steady it.

🙏🏾 The difference between hoping he’ll grow and accepting he’s not growing with you.

Have you ever stayed too long waiting for someone to be ready? ⏳ Episode 265 of How Married Are You? is live—tap in, share your story, and tag a friend who needs this convo.

PRE-ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY!

What if your independence isn’t a strength—but a shield? 💔 A 28-year-old listener has never been in a romantic relationship, and she wonders if years of self-reliance have made her “too independent” to ever need (or want) marriage.

With rejection scars, a deep love of solo life, and questions about purpose, partnership, and faith, she asks: Is marriage more than companionship? Or is it simply not for everyone?

We talk:

✨ Why independence can morph from healthy to isolating if it keeps you from risking intimacy

💡 The difference between “prescribed marriage” and truly desiring a covenant partnership

🙏🏾 How encounters with God reshape our view of self-worth, sex, and relationships

🌱 What it looks like to prepare for marriage without idolizing it—or fearing it

❤️ Why learning to receive love can be harder (and holier) than giving it

Have you ever worried you’re too independent for love? Episode 264 is live—tap in and share your story in the comments!

#HowMarriedAreYou #RelationshipTalk #FaithAndLove

PRE-ORDER FATHER YOURSELF FIRST TODAY: https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

“Help Me Get My Husband Off the Couch”

For the last five years, one wife has been going to bed alone—while her husband voluntarily sets up camp on the couch 🛋️.

What started as late-night gaming turned into a full-blown routine, even when they lived in a studio apartment just three feet apart.

Now she’s asking: Is this just a bad habit… or a deeper signal about intimacy, stress, and their marriage?

We talk:

💤 Why “comfort” isn’t the real reason many men retreat to the couch

🔥 How sexual frustration and unspoken resentment can quietly drive distance

🛑 Why calling it “just a bad habit” misses the deeper layers of disconnection

👀 The possibility of porn, avoidance, or hidden nighttime routines fueling the cycle

❤️ Why a marriage bed matters—not just for sleep, but for connection, vulnerability, and unity

Ever had a partner avoid the bed? Did it turn out to be comfort… or conflict? Episode 263 is live—tap in and share your story in the comments! #HowMarriedAreYou #MarriageTalk #CouchConfessions