In this video, we respond to a real question from a woman whose boyfriend, a church leader, told her he couldn't marry someone who drinks alcohol, even occasionally.Should she give up something she doesn’t personally believe is wrong in order to honor the man she loves and hopes to marry?Or is that the kind of change that must come from personal conviction, not relationship pressure?If you’ve ever wrestled with different convictions in a relationship, this conversation is for you.Drop your thoughts in the comments:Should someone change something like this for the person they love?Resources & LinksEmber mug Yvette Loves 🍵💍https://bit.ly/4lfn38iMentor Couple Wait List 🫂🖤https://forms.gle/VcUDRgf6km9kHWEK7Buy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪💛https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/anaya778725Release Rest Remain 📖✨https://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself First 📘🔥https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555Yvette’s Email List 💌🌿https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-listRelease Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan 🙏🏽📖https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646Premarital Advantage 💍🧠https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2Black Men’s Meeting 🖤🗣️https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate) 🛒✨https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-USWAYS TO PARTNER WITH US: Get special access to things we’re working on, extra content from our fam, and more on Patreon: https://patreon.com/HMAYSupport us with a one-time gift through PayPal: www.paypal.me/HMAYpodcastCONNECT WITH US ON INSTAGRAM:HMAY Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/howmarriedareyou/Glen: https://www.Instagram.com/beleafmelYvette: https://www.Instagram.com/mrsmelaninChocolate Babes: https://www.instagram.com/chocolatebabies/WATCH BELEAF IN FATHERHOOD:https://www.youtube.com/c/BeleafInFatherhoodtv/Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of How Married Are You?! See you next week!

In episode 282 of @howmarriedareyou, a 30-year-old listener shares how @Beleafmel and @MrsMelanin helped her believe marriage was possible, after growing up surrounded by divorce and broken relationships. She did the work. Therapy. Self-help. Healing her anxious attachment. She became secure, confident, grounded.Then she met a man who felt “too good to be true.”Two and a half years later, after phone secrecy, dating apps, denials, flowers, apologies, more denials, fake Hinge profiles (yes, it gets real 👀), and a 20-minute silence before admitting he slept with someone else… everything finally came out. All the dates. All the girls. Even a trip. We talk about the pattern of confession without full truth. How some partners admit just enough to stop the bleeding. What betrayal trauma actually does to your body. And why finally knowing the truth can feel stabilizing, even when it shatters you.What would you do if your partner betrays you?
Resources & LinksPatreon : https://patreon.com/HMAY?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLinkBuy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪💛https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/anaya778725Release Rest Remain 📖✨https://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself First 📘🔥https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555Yvette’s Email List 💌🌿https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-listRelease Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan 🙏🏽📖https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646Premarital Advantage 💍🧠https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2Black Men’s Meeting 🖤🗣️ March 7th:https://partiful.com/e/4bCYni9dq1en4o8CwE4M?c=eIraQ-YAHMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate) 🛒✨https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-USCONNECT WITH US ON INSTAGRAM:HMAY Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/howmarriedareyou/Glen: https://www.Instagram.com/beleafmelYvette: https://www.Instagram.com/mrsmelaninChocolate Babes: https://www.instagram.com/chocolatebabies/Frank the Puppet: https://www.Instagram.com/FrankPuppetYvette Unplugged Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/yvette_unplugged/WATCH BELEAF IN FATHERHOOD:https://www.youtube.com/c/BeleafInFatherhoodtv/Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of How Married Are You?! See you next week!

What do you do when you and your spouse want the same outcome… but you can’t agree on the way to get there? 😩🤍

In Episode 281, a newlywed writes in with a marriage tension that feels small at first… until it affects everything: perfection vs progress.

She’s the type who believes action brings clarity. Even a “no” teaches you what you need for the next attempt. Her husband is the type who wants things to be perfect before moving forward because failure feels costly and overwhelming.

The conflict shows up most clearly in their immigration process. After multiple denials, she wants to keep moving, adjusting, and re-submitting. But her husband wants to pause for months to make sure the next application is flawless… because the stakes are real.

We talk about how fear can disguise itself as “I just want it done right,” when perfection is wisdom and when it becomes avoidance, and how couples can stay aligned even when they don’t agree. We also get into what it looks like to bring in expert help, stop turning everything into a tug-of-war, and learn how to hear what’s really underneath your spouse’s approach. 💬🧠

Have you ever been the “let’s just move” person… married to someone who needs it to feel perfect first? 👀✨

Resources & Links

Buy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪💛
https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/anaya778725

Release Rest Remain 📖✨
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Father Yourself First 📘🔥
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Yvette’s Email List 💌🌿
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan 🙏🏽📖
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Premarital Advantage 💍🧠
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Black Men’s Meeting 🖤🗣️
https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?

HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate) 🛒✨
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

What do you do when you’re rebuilding your life after divorce… and wondering if you should do it alone? 💔➡️🏗️❤️

In Episode 280, a recently divorced listener writes in asking a vulnerable question: should he focus entirely on rebuilding himself — financially, emotionally, and spiritually — or should he actively pursue a relationship with someone who can help him build his life alongside him? 🤔

After separating in 2023 and finalizing his divorce in 2024, he’s been working nonstop to recover financially 💼. But now he’s wrestling with a deeper tension. Some people tell him to focus on his purpose and trust that the right person will come 🙏. Others point to stories of men whose wives helped shape and strengthen who they became. He’s wondering if it’s wise to stay focused on himself… or if partnership is part of the rebuilding process.

We talk honestly about what healing after divorce really requires 🧠, why rebuilding your foundation matters before inviting someone else into your life 🧱, and the difference between needing someone to complete you versus finding someone who can refine and strengthen what already exists. We also explore the role of partnership in purpose, what it means to be a helper and be helped 🤝, and why self-development is not isolation — but preparation.

Have you ever wrestled with whether to focus on becoming whole first… or trust that healing can happen alongside someone else? 💭

Resources & Links

Buy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪
https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/anaya778725

Release Rest Remain 📚
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Father Yourself First 📖
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

The Man the Moment Demands by Jason Wilson 📘
https://amzn.to/4rRKh6p

Yvette’s Email List ✉️
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan 🙌
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Premarital Advantage 💍
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Black Men’s Meeting 🖤
https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4

HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate) 🛒
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

What do you do when your partner’s “boundaries” start feeling like control?

In Episode 279, a listener writes in about being engaged to a woman who reacts strongly anytime other women are around. On a group trip, she told him to keep his distance from one woman she believed was staring at him. When that same woman ended up sitting next to him in an Uber, his fiancée texted him to move his legs away from her. Later, after a group dinner where he made casual conversation, she told him he violated her boundaries just by speaking to her.

He admits he has been dishonest in the past about women (though he says he has never physically cheated), and he understands that history has impacted trust. But now he feels anxious in public, avoids interactions with women altogether, and is wondering where the line is between respecting your partner’s boundaries and being managed by their insecurity.

We talk about what boundaries actually are versus what control looks like, how trauma and betrayal can create hypervigilance, and why trust cannot be rebuilt through constant monitoring. We also get into shared responsibility in relationships, how to communicate about triggers without making your partner responsible for your internal turmoil, and why this has to be addressed before marriage, not after.

Have you ever been in a relationship where “respect” started to feel like walking on eggshells?

Resources & Links

Release Rest Remain
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Father Yourself First
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Yvette’s Email List
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Black Men’s Meeting
https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?

Premarital Advantage
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate)
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

What do you do when you keep praying for God to remove someone… and they’re still here?

In Episode 278, a listener writes in about dating a man who came in strong — intentional, consistent, saying all the right things, and claiming his goal was marriage and family. But once she finally became his girlfriend, the effort disappeared. No thoughtfulness. No intentional dates. Barely any engagement. He doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t remember what she shares, talks over her, talks down to her, and she’s left wondering if he’s even a kind person.

What makes it harder is that it feels like no one in his world knows she exists — friends, family, everyone. She’s prayed and prayed for God to remove him if he isn’t meant for her… but instead of him leaving, they keep “working through it,” while going nowhere. Now she’s trying to discern whether this is God telling her to stay, or whether God has already shown her enough — and she needs to choose clarity, boundaries, and peace.

We talk about the danger of over-spiritualizing what’s actually a decision, why you can’t keep letting someone’s indecision set the pace for your life, and what it looks like to stop waiting for a person to change when the reality is already loud.

Have you ever stayed too long because you were waiting for God to make the exit obvious?

Resources & Links

Father Yourself First
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Release Rest Remain
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Yvette’s Email List
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Premarital Advantage
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Black Men’s Meeting
https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?

HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate)
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

What do you do when the person you married starts sounding like someone you never would’ve chosen?

In Episode 277, a 21-year-old listener writes in about getting married at 19… and feeling like her husband is unrecognizable now 😔.

They bonded over faith, culture, and shared values — even agreeing they’d never become “patriots.”

But after he joined the military and found community in a new environment, she says his beliefs shifted hard.

The jokes, the politics, the worldview, even the way he talks about people… it all feels like a different man 💔.

Now she’s stuck between two real fears: staying and slowly losing herself 🫥, or leaving and grieving a marriage she thought would be godly and lasting 🕊️.

She’s asking if it’s possible to raise kids in a home with split values, how to navigate someone you love when your convictions don’t match, and whether divorce is a wild thought… or a necessary one.

We talk honestly about what it means to navigate deep value differences inside a marriage, how to move carefully when emotions are already high 🧠, and why you can’t pretend something this deep is “just politics.”

💬 Join the Conversation

Have you ever had to navigate major value differences with someone you love?

What helped you communicate without shutting down — or blowing up?

Drop your thoughts in the comments 👇🏽

📚 Resources & Links

Father Yourself First
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Release Rest Remain
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Premarital Advantage
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Yvette’s Email List
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Black Men’s Meeting
https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?

Big A## Calendar
https://bit.ly/4rkZIE7

HMAY Amazon Storefront
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

❤️ If this helped you, like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone navigating marriage, identity shifts, and hard conversations.

Have you ever had a “what if” person… and you can’t tell if it’s God’s timing or an emotional trap?

In this episode, a listener writes in about a seven-year friendship that keeps circling back into something deeper. They’ve never kissed, she’s been abstinent for five years, and now — for the first time — their timing finally aligns to explore a relationship. But she’s torn: he’s warm, patient, and makes her feel safe… yet she’s afraid she’s been living more in fantasy than reality.

They’re long-distance, both navigating ADHD, and she’s trying to rebuild her faith while also wanting a partner who can lead spiritually — without performing faith just to keep her. So the real question becomes: is love and safety enough to take the risk, or is this a distraction that could derail her growth?

We talk about how to move forward with wisdom, how to check your “sober mind” when you’re already emotionally invested, and why you can’t keep someone in your life as a permanent what-if.

✨ What You’ll Hear

• Izzy’s letter to Glen after Sydney’s passing (bring tissues)

• Release Rest Remain update + the YouVersion Bible reading plan

• Listener email: the long-distance “what if” friendship turning serious

• ADHD, consistency, and what love looks like in real life

• Faith alignment, spiritual leadership, and moving with a sober mind

• Why “love is a risk” — and how to take it wisely

• Parenting + marriage questions: balance, devotionals, and real-life routines

💬 Join the Conversation

Have you ever carried a “what if” relationship for years?
What helped you decide to risk it — or finally let it go?

❤️ If This Helped You

Like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone navigating long-distance love, boundaries, and faith alignment.

📚 Resources & Links

Father Yourself First
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Release Rest Remain
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Premarital Advantage
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community
https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

Yvette’s Email List
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

The Biggest Story Affiliate links mentioned in this episode
https://bit.ly/3Lx0Ipb
https://bit.ly/4qz1IIZ
https://bit.ly/3NDgUG1

HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate)
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

In this episode, we talk honestly about something we’re still learning how to navigate in our own marriage: celebration, hosting, and friendship.

We unpack a real disagreement between us — one where gathering people, creating moments, and hosting feels meaningful and necessary to one of us, while the other experiences those same moments as pressure, disruption, and emotional overload. Neither of us is wrong, but the tension between those needs has shown up more than once over the years.

We share what that conflict actually looked like, how it connected to deeper questions about friendship, emotional capacity, and being known, and what it took for us to repair without one of us shrinking or the other feeling dismissed.

This conversation is about learning each other again, choosing honesty over peacekeeping, and figuring out how to stay connected without losing yourself in the process.

Resources & Links

Release Rest Remain

https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Yvette’s Email List

https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan

https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Father Yourself First

https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook

Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Premarital Advantage

Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds

https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)

Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community

Bonus conversations and behind-the-scenes content

https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

Join the Conversation

Do you and your partner experience celebration or hosting differently?

Have you ever realized you were arguing about something deeper than what was on the surface?

If This Helped You

Like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone navigating recurring tension, friendship shifts, or emotional capacity in marriage.

In this episode of How Married Are You, we respond to a listener email from a newly married wife who’s quietly struggling with loneliness. Between long work hours, late nights, exhaustion, and limited time together, she’s worried this season might become their new normal — and she doesn’t want to come across as ungrateful or like a nag for wanting more connection.

We talk honestly about marriage seasons, why hard rhythms don’t automatically mean something is wrong, and how to tell the difference between a temporary grind and a deeper issue. Glen and Yvette share what they would do differently if they could revisit similar seasons in their own marriage, and why how you show up now impacts the seasons ahead.

This conversation covers:

• How to survive a lonely season in marriage

• Communicating needs without resentment

• Why seasons change (even when they feel endless)

• Staying connected when schedules don’t align

• Building support and community outside your spouse

If you’re married and wondering, “Is this just a season — or is this our forever?” this episode is for you.

Resources & Links

Order the book: Father Yourself First https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555]

Order the book: Release • Rest • Remain https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO](https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Audiobook: Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Premarital Advantage: Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT): Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community: Access bonus conversations and behind-the-scenes content [https://www.patreon.com/HMAY](https://www.patreon.com/HMAY)

Happy Holidays, y’all! As the year comes to a close, we’re taking a short break from our regularly scheduled podcast episodes to rest, reset, and be present. As a little holiday gift, we’re sharing a conversation from the Patreon vault that you may have missed. If you enjoy conversations like this, join us on Patreon for weekly bonus conversations after every podcast.

In this Patreon vault episode, Glen and Yvette unpack a viral and troubling clip where Young Thug admits he would feel “less of a man” if his partner went to therapy. From there, the conversation widens into a powerful discussion about ego, control, emotional safety, and why discouraging therapy is a major red flag — not masculinity.

They talk honestly about why no one person can (or should) be everything for their partner, the importance of having trusted people outside your relationship, and how healthy love actually encourages growth rather than isolating it. Glen shares why leaning on close friends and therapy has been essential for him, and Yvette reflects on why that support doesn’t threaten marriage — it strengthens it.

The episode also touches on friendships, safe spaces, healing masculinity, and how parenting (especially raising a daughter) sharpens awareness around emotional health and self-worth.

This conversation is candid, thought-provoking, and grounding — especially for anyone navigating relationships, mental health, or redefining strength and support.

👉 Join us on Patreon for weekly bonus conversations and exclusive content:
www.patreon.com/HMAY