This week, Matt gets a special job, Chris hits up a very popular time travel destination—with a couple serious twists you ain’t seen yet, and everyone agrees that Salisbury steak is the gentlest meat!

Also, Chris challenges Matt to a User-generated round of Star Trek Alien or Finish It! Alien (thanks, Esme!), Chris gets a very special BDTTRPG adventure (it’s long so feel free to jump to 49:30 if you must—no hard feelings!), and… waitaminnit… are we just a Book Club?

Hey Why Not Do a Discord?

Doing the Bluesky Thing

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Merch Time: Keep Your Business the Way You Like It!

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Catch up on Meanwhile in the Cave of Time, if You So Desire

Illustrations by the incomparable Paul Granger.

This week, Matt slams into back-to-back cheap choose moves that make him sad, Chris gets a Star Wars-y read that makes him happy, and someone makes 18 choices over the course of just 21 pages because that is how this book rolls!

Also, Matt challenges Chris to a round of Interactive Fiction or Razzie Award-Nominated Science Fiction Film, Chris challenges Matt to a Surprise Karaoke (and Matt is too loud like seriously come on dude), and this week’s Wild Card uses a User’s name how fun is that?!

Hey Why Not Do a Discord?

Doing the Bluesky Thing

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Merch Time: Keep Your Business the Way You Like It!

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Check Out Songs from the Musical and More on SoundCloud

Catch up on Meanwhile in the Cave of Time, if You So Desire

Illustrations by the incomparable Paul Granger.

This week, Chris rights a wrong from the past, Matt hits a page that makes so little sense he thinks the book is broken (it’s not), and the Universe Governing Body has serious news! Also, it’s Sad Pizza Party time!

Additionally, Chris challenges Matt to a round of Interactive Fiction or Episode of Space and Beyond, someone sees an ending they already got from a whole other perspective, and we got a nice wet cheese blump goin’!

Hey Why Not Do a Discord?

Doing the Bluesky Thing

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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We’re Still on Twitter

Merch Time: Keep Your Business the Way You Like It!

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Check Out Songs from the Musical and More on SoundCloud

Catch up on Meanwhile in the Cave of Time, if You So Desire

Illustrations by the incomparable Paul Granger.

This week, Chris zooms to the head of the class, Matt tries to put a round disc in the hole he has in his head and gags, and if you thought the first paragraph of the book had some mind-chafing science you are not going to like this episode at all!

Also, Matt challenges Chris to a round of the How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You I’m A Doctor Quiz, vital Corrections are issued, and somebody has a secret weapon left that they have not used!

Hey Why Not Do a Discord?

Doing the Bluesky Thing

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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We’re Still on Twitter

Merch Time: Keep Your Business the Way You Like It!

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Check Out Songs from the Musical and More on SoundCloud

Catch up on Meanwhile in the Cave of Time, if You So Desire

Illustrations by the incomparable Paul Granger.

This week, things get a little trippy when Chris encounters another black hole, Matt nails the body language of friendship, and someone forms a triangular force group of renegade spacecrafts (no big deal)!

Also, Chris challenges Matt to a round of Interactive Fiction or A Thing A Kid Wrote to Chris, it’s time to Roll an Alien Dude with the help of 1991’s finest alien superhero character creation table, and silly putty on a tennis ball is a texture mashup nightmare.

Hey Why Not Do a Discord?

Doing the Bluesky Thing

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Merch Time: Keep Your Business the Way You Like It!

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Check Out Songs from the Musical and More on SoundCloud

Catch up on Meanwhile in the Cave of Time, if You So Desire

Illustrations by the incomparable Paul Granger.

New book day! Are you ready to travel to space and then also past there? Chris goes somewhere no human has gone before! Matt gets a “classic” ending that he “couldn’t” be “more” excited about! There is math in this book that will break you!

Also, Matt challenges Chris to a round of Interactive Fiction or Sci-Fi Movie from the 1950s, Predictions are made, and the guys totally shake the curse of getting the same exact read in the first episode of a new book! I mean, what are the chances?! But, like, seriously… what are the chances?

Hey Why Not Do a Discord?

Doing the Bluesky Thing

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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Merch Time: Keep Your Business the Way You Like It!

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Check Out Songs from the Musical and More on SoundCloud

Catch up on Meanwhile in the Cave of Time, if You So Desire

Illustrations by the incomparable Paul Granger.

We haven’t seen Bill and Dani from Escape This Podcast, Solve This Murder and more in like a minute! Good thing they’re back! Will we finally finish this dang book? Or will the struggle grind on?

Also, the group checks in on their resolutions from last year (50% crushed, not bad), the Yule bros discover their likely Australian linguistic lineage, and let’s have a cheer for the Mechanized Scarecrows (Potato Gatherers): Moving Along the Sidefall of the Hill [Whose Spirit is Like a Wet Sack Flapping About the Knees of Time]!

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION TABLE 2026

I RESOLVE TO:

Roll d10 #1:

1. dance
2. email
3. exercise
4. journal
5. meditate
6. podcast
7. vacation
8. sleep
9. cook
10. work

Roll d10 #2:

1. non-stop
2. once a day
3. absolutely never
4. exactly one time
5. under hypnosis
6. in your face
7. trimonthly
8. every time a child laughs
9. at the witching hour
10. while screaming

Roll d10 #3:

1. for money
2. for my mental health
3. for a shot at the big time
4. for bragging rights
5. for the honor of my ancestors
6. for the children
7. for charity
8. for pocket change
9. for my fans
10. for the love of the game

Roll d10 #4:

1. no matter what my family says
2. even if my body breaks and my mind shatters
3. whether or not Santa likes it
4. only if it gets me likes on x.com
5. providing my imaginary friend agrees to keep their mouth shut about you-know-what
6. finally proving that the 2020 US presidential election was stolen!
7. despite my debilitating fear of success
8. even if it means angering Crom upon his mountaintop
9. only if it requires agreeing to an extremely restrictive nondisclosure agreement
10. but I won’t do “that”

Go Listen to All of Dani and Bill’s Creations at Consume This Media!

Listen to Week 6 of Struggle Down Under!

Listen to Week 5 of Struggle Down Under!

Listen to Week 4 of Struggle Down Under!

Listen to Week 3 of Struggle Down Under!

Listen to Week 2 of Struggle Down Under!

Listen to Week 1 of Struggle Down Under!

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Join Everyone on Discord!

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Say Stuff to Us on Twitter

Original illustrations by S. Burphon, S. Yaweera, & J. Donploypetch.

Get comfy! Hang out! Take it nice and easy and let’s dig our way back through this last adventure! Fantasy Finish It! Who Wins the Book? What book will be next? Go to the discord to vote for your fave when you’re ready!

Also, Chris busts out the classic segment Excuse Me Mr. Packard so the guys can crank out some more endings, Power Ups make their big-time debut, and the Wild Card slams the brothers into a total jangle jumble!

For real, if you’re into it, go on out and vote for the next book! Join the discord and head into the Announcements channel. Woo!

Do a vote in the Discord!

Doing the Bluesky Thing

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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We’re Still on Twitter

Merch Time: Keep Your Business the Way You Like It!

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Check Out Songs from the Musical and More on SoundCloud

Catch up on Meanwhile in the Cave of Time, if You So Desire

Illustrations by the great Ron Wing.

Oh holy cow you guys this could be it! There are only two endings left! If your boys find em both we’re talking a clean sweep of this book! That’s some hot literary janitation! Will the final endings be satisfying? How couldn’t they be!?

Also, Chris challenges Matt to a round of a very familiar sounding quiz, Matt gets everyone Checkin’ In to make sure we’re all on the same page, and if we’ve all learned anything from this book it is please please give up your dreams of becoming a skateboard champion!

Discord is so Hot Right Now

Doing the Bluesky Thing

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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We’re Still on Twitter

Merch Time: Keep Your Business the Way You Like It!

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Check Out Songs from the Musical and More on SoundCloud

Catch up on Meanwhile in the Cave of Time, if You So Desire

Illustrations by the great Ron Wing.

This week, Matt gets an ending he hates until he sprinkles on the sarcasm, Chris takes it straight to THE man, and a new podcast feature has been permanently unlocked!

Also, Matt challenges Chris to a round of the Character from this Book or One of NASCAR’s Top 50 Race Car Drivers Quiz, Chris reveals a Wild Card that adds a new twist to the podcast in the form of Power Ups (thanks, Glitchparticle!), and WEE-OO WEE-OO CRIME CAR.

Let’s talk Power Ups! When we finish a book, the winner currently receives a Get-Out-of-Sad-Pizza-Party-Free card as a reward. Thanks to a killer new Wild Card, there will now be 4 more possible Power Ups! The winner will randomly generate a number 1-5, and that will determine the power up for the next episode.

Below are the options we came up with in the episode. Feel free to jump in the discord and throw out some more ideas!

Power Ups!

• 1 is set = Get-Out-of-Sad-Pizza-Party-Free card
• More options!
  • A trophy we pass back and forth
  • The loser can only do live reads of the next book
  • The loser must do the Wild Cards for the next book
  • Naptime! The winner gets to sit back and relax for a single episode. The loser must do the segment, quiz, wild card and both reads
  • Book Override! The winner can choose to ignore any poll or standing decision about which book will be read next, and pick whatever they want to read
  • The winner is taken out to dinner by the loser
  • The winner gets to play video games through a single episode recording
  • The loser must sing a jangle about the winner at the end of each episode

Discord is so Hot Right Now

Doing the Bluesky Thing

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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We’re Still on Twitter

Merch Time: Keep Your Business the Way You Like It!

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Check Out Songs from the Musical and More on SoundCloud

Catch up on Meanwhile in the Cave of Time, if You So Desire

Illustrations by the great Ron Wing.

This week, Matt falls head over heels for a little place called River Flats, Chris loses his taste for skateboarding despite many many many attempts to become a champ, and you had better not mess with the Gang Mafia Mob!

Also, Chris challenges Matt to a User-generated, Gleaming the Cube-inspired round of the Blanking the Blank quiz (thanks again, THEKyleThomas!); Matt guides Chris through fave seg Let’s Roll a Dude, Skateboard Dude Edition, Paul makes a fool of himself in front of the boys, but it all works out in the end; and someone’s trying to sneak in a backdoor pilot!

Let’s Roll a Dude: Skateboard Dude Edition

• Primary Ability
  • 1. Strength
  • 2. Speed
  • 3. Dexterity
  • 4. Charisma
  • 5. Intelligence
  • 6. Constitution
• Skater Style
  • 1. Jumbo charm necklace, alien sunglasses, cowboy hat
  • 2. Farmcore
  • 3. Leather jacket, leather pants, leather gloves, propeller beanie
  • 4. Denim dracula
  • 5. Punk rock in the front, adult contemporary in the back
  • 6. Sponsored by mountain dew dorito powder punch
• Skateboard Team Name
  • 1. The Dapper Mountaineers
  • 2. The Ogres
  • 3. The Big Bad
  • 4. The Young Alligators
  • 5. The Iron Wizards
  • 6. The Skeleton Creatures
• Skate Team Vibe
  • 1. Ska band
  • 2. Mark is a dentist, Michelle owns her own cafe truck, Zuber works for their dad at the old pine mill, Jasper robs banks (overseas), Poppy is a tug boat captain
  • 3. Straight-up Dexy’s Midnight Runners
  • 4. Mad Max putt-putt golf team
  • 5. Wizard cloaks and boomboxes
  • 6. Buncha Trons
• Competition Song (from Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 Soundtrack)
  • 1. Guerilla Radio – Rage Against the Machine
  • 2. You – Bad Religion
  • 3. Bring Tha Noize – Anthrax ft. Chuck D. of Public Enemy
  • 4. Blood Brothers – Papa Roach
  • 5. Cyclone – Dub Pistols
  • 6. When Worlds Collide – Powerman 5000
• Signature Move
  • 1. Grinding all the way around a hot tub 3 times
  • 2. Getting big air in the half pipe, landing on knee pads, sliding all the way up the other side, 180 back on to board in midair
  • 3. Skitchin roller coaster
  • 4. Hella big drop into gorilla enclosure, banana slide back out
  • 5. Blazing guitar solo while flatlandi freestyling
  • 6. 360 smashburger to primo fartslide

Discord is so Hot Right Now

Doing the Bluesky Thing

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Watch the YouTubes!

We’re Still on Twitter

Merch Time: Keep Your Business the Way You Like It!

We’re on Stitcher, Too

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Check Out Songs from the Musical and More on SoundCloud

Catch up on Meanwhile in the Cave of Time, if You So Desire

Illustrations by the great Ron Wing.