Fantasy is a soft place to land because it demands nothing from us. Reality is harder and that’s exactly why it changes us. We sit with a blunt question that can reshape recovery: if you keep returning to porn, sexual fantasy, scrolling, or busyness, what pain or fear are you trying not to feel? When we stop fighting symptoms and start listening, escape loses some of its power. 

We talk about why modern life makes it easier than ever to build a “virtual reality” that feels safer than the real world, and why Jesus keeps inviting us back into the present where healing actually happens. We also draw a line between healthy imagination that restores us and unhealthy fantasy that replaces our life. Along the way, we bring in insights from Dallas Willard, C.S. Lewis, and the simple wisdom that growth requires courage, community, and truth telling. 

If you’re working through porn addiction recovery, sexual integrity, betrayal trauma, or just a constant need to numb out, you’ll hear practical language for identifying core needs under arousal like exhaustion, loneliness, grief, and the need for rest. We close with a prayer to break the quiet “agreements” many of us learned early on, the idea that we’re not allowed to feel what we really feel, and to step into reality with God instead of running from it. 

If this helps you name what you’ve been avoiding, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the path from escape to wholeness.

Resources from this Episode:

• Dallas Willard’s 4 Questions  
• Restored To More
• C.S. Lewis - Screwtape Letters 

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

A trigger can feel like proof that something is wrong with you.

But we’ve learned to see it differently: emotional pain that taps an unhealed wound and yanks us out of our best thinking. When that happens, our bodies often take over with fight, flight, fawn, freeze, or a rush toward self-comfort that can slide straight into the addiction cycle. We slow all of that down and ask a better question: what if the trigger is an invitation to connection and healing?

We get practical about what to do in real time when you’re activated and you do not have space for a full inner healing session. We talk about somatic grounding, noticing where the trigger lives in your body, placing a hand on your heart or stomach, orienting to safety, and speaking kindness to the parts of you that learned to survive. Then we bring Jesus directly into it with honest prayer: What am I reacting to? What am I fighting? What do I need to hear right now? This is a Christian approach to triggers that respects both the nervous system and the presence of God.

If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s navigating triggers, and leave a review so more people can find it. 

What’s one trigger you want to approach as an invitation this week?

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

If you’ve ever wondered why your recovery feels slow even when you’re doing “all the right things,” this conversation names a missing piece that can change your trajectory: retreat. We talk about why getting away for a concentrated weekend is not escapism, but a powerful and practical recovery tool that helps you go deeper than weekly therapy, coaching, or group can often reach on their own. When time expands and distractions shrink, the real story under the behavior has room to surface and heal. 

We unpack what actually makes retreats effective for sexual recovery and Christian discipleship: the momentum of a whole group pursuing honesty together, the way vulnerability becomes contagious, and the built-in buffer that keeps you from doing hard work and then immediately numbing out. You’ll hear personal stories of breakthrough moments, including how healing old wounds can change temptation patterns and move you from managing sobriety to living with greater freedom. 

We also talk about the barriers that keep people away: shame, cost, scheduling, and the fear of admitting you need help. Then we explore why beauty and kindness matter in a retreat setting, how being cared for can challenge the lie that you are unworthy, and why Scripture shows Jesus repeatedly inviting his friends to come away with him to rest and reset. If you feel even a mustard seed of desire for more wholeness, you’re not alone, and you’re not behind. 

Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review. What would it look like for you to take one brave step toward deeper healing this year?

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

A lot of us want joy without the valley, freedom without the tears, and healing without feeling what happened. That’s why we start with a vivid picture: your inner world as a dinner party where every emotion shows up, including the ones you’d rather avoid. When we refuse to “come downstairs,” we often reach for fast comfort and one of the most powerful shortcuts is sex. It can feel like relief, but it’s a pseudo-resurrection that never brings real repair. 

James Craig sits down with Kyle Bowman to talk about what happens when we stop running and begin paying attention to disappointment, grief, and the places our stories still ache. Kyle shares part of her journey of moving from a distant, “God is out there” mindset to an experience of being surrounded and pursued by the Lord’s love. From there we connect the dots between family of origin wounds, unmet attachment needs, and the deep desires every heart carries: being heard, affirmed, blessed, safe, appropriately touched, chosen, and included. 

We get practical about Christian grief processing: how to acknowledge loss, how to practice lament with the Psalms, and how tools like Emmanuel journaling can help you meet Jesus in the pain rather than bypass it. We also explore why sadness can turn into anxiety or anger when tears are blocked, why temptation often points to avoided grief, and how God’s comfort leads to resilient joy on the other side. If you’re navigating sexual brokenness, betrayal trauma, or simply a stuck heart, this conversation offers language, hope, and next steps. 

Subscribe for more conversations on wholeness, share this with a friend who’s carrying something heavy, and leave a review so others can find the show. What’s one grief you’ve been trying not to feel?

Resources from this episode:

• 7 Desires of Every Heart.pdf
• Language of lament worksheet.pdf
• Immanuel Journaling.pdf
• Three Percent Podcast referenced about sadness: How To Be Less Triggered with Dr. Kelly Flanagan
• Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy - Mark Vroegop

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

The question “Can same-sex attraction change?” is rarely just curiosity. It usually carries fear: “Will I ever be able to marry?” “Is this who I am?” “If this shows up again, does that mean God isn’t working?” Josh sits down with Kyle Bowman and Greg Ruhland from Regeneration to talk honestly about change, discipleship, and what a hopeful, grounded Christian perspective can look like when you’re tired of shame and exhausted from trying to white-knuckle your way into freedom.

Kyle shares her personal journey from years of same-sex relationships to a slow reorientation of desire that comes from pursuing Jesus daily, not chasing a perfect internal state. Greg shares his story of early shame, pornography, and the long work of learning to “replace lust with love,” brick by brick. Along the way, we talk about tenderness, confession without condemnation, and why God’s kindness can meet you even when you feel like you brought the pain on yourself.

We also break the conversation into practical categories: behavior, identity, and desires. We unpack why desire can function like a “check engine light,” how identity labels can shrink a person’s full story, and why community and the Holy Spirit matter for real change. If you’re wrestling with unwanted desires, sexual temptation, or fear about your future, you’ll walk away with language, next steps, and hope that doesn’t depend on a single moment.

Subscribe for more conversations like this, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. What part of your story needs curiosity and kindness right now?

Resources from this episode:

• Regeneration spiritual coaching - Men | Women
• Awaken men’s retreat
• Sacred by Design women’s retreat
• Growth into Manhood by Alan Medinger
• Unwanted by Jay Stringer

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

A single word can change what someone believes about themselves. “Addiction.” “Trauma.” “Struggle.”  James Craig and therapist Blake Brinkman talk honestly about why certain terms can shut people down, especially when they carry cultural baggage, and how a simpler word like struggle can sometimes open the door to truth, humility, and real support.

We also get specific about sexual brokenness and pornography addiction, including why compulsive porn use can function like a process addiction even without a substance. When you understand the cycle and what’s happening in the brain, it becomes easier to pursue the right kind of care instead of trying to white-knuckle change. From there, we move into one of the most important tensions in Christian recovery: naming reality without letting a label become your identity. We respect programs that help people confess what’s true, while also holding tight to a deeper foundation: you are not a diagnosis; you are a beloved son or daughter invited into sanctification.

If you’re a pastor trying to shepherd well, a spouse processing betrayal wounds, or someone tired of repeating the same cycle, you’ll walk away with clearer language and a more hopeful map forward. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the help they’ve been avoiding.

Resources from this episode:

Addiction Cycle Worksheet

Manna

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Anger can feel like the problem, but what if it’s actually the cover story? Aaron Tagert and James Craig pull on a thread that has reshaped their coaching conversations: sadness often starts in the gut, rises toward tears, and when we block it, it can convert into anxiety in the chest or burst out as anger from the mouth. That shift matters for anyone who feels stuck in frustration, shame, or emotional shutdown and can’t figure out why the smallest things set them off.

We get practical and personal, talking about jaw tension, tight chests, fatigue, and the subtle ways our bodies reveal what our words won’t. We also name how selective numbing shows up in real life, including patterns like pornography use, compulsive scrolling, food, sugar, fantasy, and other forms of escape. The point isn’t to moralize; it’s to understand emotional regulation and the hidden grief underneath so we can pursue real healing, deeper connection, and lasting integrity.

We keep it rooted in Christian discipleship and recovery: Jesus never bypasses emotion, Jesus wept, and Scripture makes space for lament, sorrow, and joy. You’ll hear simple questions to ask when you feel numb, anxious, or angry, plus a guided reflection you can try this week to move from reacting to responding. If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t have feelings, I just get mad,” this conversation gives you a new map.

Subscribe, share this with someone who lives on the edge of frustration, and leave a review so more people can find practical, hope-filled tools for emotional health and spiritual growth.

Resources from this episode:

• Three Percent Podcast Conversation w/ Dr/ Flanagan
• Awaken Retreat
• Sacred By Design Retreat 2026

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Calling yourself “humble” can sound spiritual while you quietly live in self-doubt, shame, and a constant need to prove you matter. In this episode of Becoming Whole, we share part of a hard truth: insecurity and humility are not the same, and mixing them up can keep you stuck in lust and unwanted sexual behaviors even when you genuinely want freedom.

We walk through the difference between love and lust, then connect it to the sexual addiction cycle: challenging life events, triggers, shame, and the pull toward quick relief. Along the way, we name why pornography can feel like a drug of choice. It doesn’t only create arousal, it hijacks the body’s deep language of dignity and value, offering a counterfeit “you are wanted” right when you feel alone, stressed, or unworthy.

If this helps, subscribe, share it with someone who feels stuck, and leave a review so more people can find the path from insecurity to love.

Resources from this Episode:

• Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You by Jim Wilder et al.
• Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla 
• Growth Into Manhood by Alan Medinger
• Genesis 2:21-24 - “They were naked and unashamed.”
• Luke 15:11-32 - “You are with me always, and everything I have is yours.”
• Mathew 3:16-17 - “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Your strongest sexual desires can feel like destiny, like a permanent label that tells you who you are and what you’ll always chase. We don’t buy that. James Craig sits down with Josh Glazer to talk about a different kind of change: not behavior hacks, not sheer willpower, but the slow, hopeful formation of what we love, what we long for, and what we reach for when we’re hurting.

We dig into how culture preaches “follow your heart,” and why that message often produces despair for Christians who feel divided inside. Then we get practical and biblical. Romans 5 gives a progression from suffering to perseverance to character to hope, and we connect that directly to sexual integrity, porn recovery, and unwanted sexual behaviors. Temptation itself can be a kind of suffering, and when we carry it alone, it grows heavier. When we bring it into a safe community, it can become the very place where hope is restored, and shame loses its grip.

We also talk about trauma, attachment, and why Jesus doesn’t avoid the tender places, using the woman at the well as a picture of Christ meeting us right where we’re most exposed. To close, we read 2 Peter chapter one’s growth pathway toward love and invite you to take one next step, not a perfect leap.

If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who feels stuck, and leave a review so more people can find honest conversations about sexual wholeness and Christian discipleship.

Resources from this episode:

You Are What You Love, James K.A. Smith

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

A lot of people want to be compassionate and end up quietly rewriting their convictions. We start with a sharp line from Augustine that helps clear the fog: it’s one thing to be wrong about a person, but it’s another thing to call something good that God calls sin. 

From there, we talk honestly about the pain underneath the LGBTQ experience and sexual brokenness, and why love doesn’t avoid that pain by changing the definition of morality. Love goes into the hard places because it cares about what happens next, emotionally, spiritually, and in real life.

I’m joined by Ken Williams, co-founder and co-president of the Change Movement, and he walks us through his recovery journey from compulsive sexual behaviors and leaving behind a gay sexual lifestyle. Ken shares the six words that became his discipleship framework: vulnerability, surrender, relationships, identity, enduring faith, and vision. We unpack why quick fixes like “just date” or “just get married” miss the real issue, and why many struggles are better described as an intimacy disorder, a broken ability to connect with God and people safely.

Ken points to resources that help Christians navigate LGBTQ questions with clarity and compassion, and he closes by praying for surrender and freedom for anyone who feels stuck. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway.

Resources from this Episode:

• Changed Movement Navigating LGBT Resource
• Testimonies of people coming out of LGBT 
• Same Sex Attraction Part 3 with Elizabeth Woning

Talk To US

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Your sexual desire can feel like a verdict. When you’ve gone back to porn again, crossed boundaries again, or found yourself stuck in patterns you hate, it’s easy to believe the loudest story: this is just who I am. We push against that lie with a different question, one that exposes the strategy of shame: why would the enemy want you to believe your sexual behaviors define your identity?

We stay in John 4 with Jesus and the woman at the well, not to weaponize the passage, but to hear the tenderness in it. Jesus doesn’t approach her with scolding or disgust. He speaks of the Father seeking worshipers who worship in spirit and truth, and we explore what it means to believe you were made for that kind of worship even while you’re struggling. The goal isn’t pretending sin is fine. The goal is letting God “untwist” what’s disordered from what’s deeply human and deeply holy: the ache to be known, cherished, and held without shame.

From there, we talk about sex as union. Sexual drive is intense because the longing for union is intense, but the deepest union you want is bigger than a moment, bigger than chemistry, even bigger than marriage. Marriage itself is a signpost pointing to the communion we’re designed for with God. If you’re a pastor, mentor, spouse, or friend walking with someone through sexual addiction or compulsive sexual behavior, this lens also changes how you help: less accusation, more truth, more patience, more hope.

If this brings relief or conviction, don’t keep it to yourself. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a shame-free path toward sexual integrity, and leave a review so more people can find it. What’s one line of shame you’re ready to stop agreeing with?

Talk To US

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Awaken Men's Retreat | October 9th -11th

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)