We Need to Talk About Steven

Sean Cahill and Michael Horton

This is "We Need to Talk About Steven", a comedy podcast where two friends profile, praise, and piss upon a multitude of famous persons who all share one thing in common: the name Steven.

  • 1 hour 29 minutes
    S2. Ep. 14 - "Tony Dungelson's Child Grooming Academy"

    On this week’s episode of We Need to Talk About Crypto, Mike and Sean try to talk about the word of the day - “white papers” - but are instead derailed by a visit from style icon Tony “The Fauxhawk” Dungelson, who announces his ill-timed plans to open a “Grooming Academy” to teach adults how to “groom children”. By this, Tony simply means etiquette and personal hygiene, so the boys try to help him re-brand his business. But things go south quickly, and one of Tony’s friends named Rufus storms into the studio to defend his mentor as the situation deteriorates. 

    Also featured: Croc Talk, Listener Mail, and a nod to Yam Queen!

    19 April 2022, 1:40 am
  • 1 hour 10 minutes
    S2. Ep. 13 - "Yam Queen & Dr. Sirloin: Live from UCLA's Royce Hall"

    This special episode of We Need to Talk About Crypto was recorded live at UCLA's Royce Hall, and is presented by the Carolina Yam Growers Association in collaboration with Ashley Price Industries. Sound a little different? That's because Sean and Mike are here to promote YAM COIN - Where Agriculture Meets Crypto!

    Yam Coin is an incredible new cryptocurrency that will revolutionize the face of produce and farming. Joining Sean and Mike to discuss this incredible economic breakthrough is Yam Queen, the world-famous cultural icon, diva, and lead singer of the Yam Jam Band from the 1980s "Carolina Yams" commercials! Your hosts interview Yam Queen, learn about her rise and fall, and even hear a special performance of her original hit song "Yam Queen". 

    But things take a turn when an unexpected guests joins everyone on stage - Dr. Sirloin, the Instagram doctor who claims that "yams are bullshit" and that "the human body can subsist exclusively on sirloin". Things get contentious, and soon Sean and Mike find themselves moderating a no-holds-barred debate between Dr. Sirloin and Yam Queen. 

    Tune into this episode and you will never look at yams, meat, or UCLA the same way ever again!

    11 April 2022, 7:00 am
  • 1 hour 12 minutes
    S2. Ep. 12 - "Alt Coins (By Ashley Price)"

    "Behind every great man is another man with his hands on the first man's hips, whispering ideas into his ear." - Sun Tzu

    Last week Sean and Mike pulled the plug on producer Tessa (literally), and this week they've moved into a luxurious new studio owned by Ashley Price, the businessman and entrepreneur known for making deals in public restrooms. Your favorite hosts celebrate their lifestyle upgrade, and introduce a few new segments like "Croc Talk", which is dedicated to the lifestyle of wearing Crocs. 

    The podcast also debuts a brand new theme song, and the boys are visited by The Crypto Keeper, who comes to welcome Tessa to the underworld as well as complain about a shocking "slap" that took place at the Helly awards down in Digital Hell. 

    All of this and so much more on this week's episode of "We Need to Talk About Crypto"!

    4 April 2022, 4:42 am
  • 1 hour 12 minutes
    S2. Ep. 11 - "The Prophecy of Teckus"

    Your favorite investment gurus are back in Los Angeles after winning the war in Ukraine, but there's been some big changes around the podcast. Producer Tessa has married a reclusive hentai enthusiast while the boys were away, and they're forced to confront him as their new dad and step-producer. During the conversation, the boys learn about a prophetic vision of the future called "The Teckus Trilogy", which involves shoeboxes, computer parts, and copious amounts of man-on-machine sexual activity. 

    Fortunately for Mike and Sean, the podcast's new owner Ashley Price is there to clean up the mess made by Tessa and her husband - but will this ultimately be what's best for the show? 


    Oh, and the word of the day is "crypto tourism". 

    28 March 2022, 7:00 am
  • 1 hour 29 minutes
    S2. Ep. 10 - "Live From Ukraine"

    The boys are back on the road this week, but this time it's no Salt Lake City... it's the war torn nation of Ukraine! Sean and Mike have left America for the sweet siren call of cash being paid to foreign fighters in Ukraine's conflict with Russia, but the deal isn't as good as it seems. Although they received free guns and a cool set of pajamas, the fightin' life is not exactly for the rise n' grind boys you know and love - and they've deserted the cause. Thus, this week's episode was recorded in an international basement pub that is home to killers, spies, and army defectors. 


    Mike meets a European Pjornographer, and we're treated to a PSA for "He World", the nature preserve for castrated Alpha Males in San Diego. This week's word is "Rouble", and the dip of the week was "Garlic Spread". Join us for all this and so much more!

    14 March 2022, 4:49 am
  • 1 hour 12 minutes
    S2. Ep. 9 - "Insolvency"

    The boys are back in Los Angeles after living through a national tragedy in Salt Lake City where 35 people - including some of the country's most prominent alpha males - were killed in a trampling. Producer Tessa is in a pissy mood after being left out of the road trip, but she continues to show up and do her job like the professional that she is. The word of the day is "insolvency", because they boys have spent the last of their bitcoin and must find new sponsors to keep the show afloat. Finally, the dip of the day is balsamic vinegar and olive oil with gluten free bread. 

    Warning: this episode contains disturbing audio from the DJ Zack Stoufus show where the trampling occurred, and it may be inappropriate for some listeners. 

    7 March 2022, 7:24 pm
  • 1 hour 5 minutes
    S2. Ep. 8 - "Live From Alpha Con Pt. 2"
    Welcome to Part 2 of the boys' trip to Alpha Con! On this riveting episode, your intrepid hosts crawl through sewage, meet an Alpha named Ashley Price, and get fashion advice from Tony “The Fauxhawk” Dungelson. This week’s dip is a mystery beverage called “daddy juice”, and the location is a literal toilet.
    28 February 2022, 10:21 am
  • 1 hour 21 minutes
    Ep. 7 - "Live From Alpha Con Pt. 1"

    On this very special episode of We Need To Talk About Crypto, the boys head to Salt Lake City and record live from the Alpha Male Convention, a gathering of Alphas hosted by a mysterious figure named "The Bull Moose". Our podcast has its very own booth, so Sean and Mike were able to interview some of the convention's keynote speakers, including a man who rekindled his sex life at Koo Koo Roo, and a 350 lbs "Offensive Coach" who teaches his students to be rude 'n crude. 

    Stay tuned for next's weeks Part 2 of this very special event, featuring DJ Zack Stoufus, Tony "The Fauxhawk" Dungelson, and much, much more!

    21 February 2022, 7:59 am
  • 1 hour 10 minutes
    S2. Ep. 6 - "NFTs"

    The final 101 lesson - NFTs - is upon us! Mike & Sean take us through the final hours of Mark Wahlberg's "rise n' grind" routine, discuss NFTs, and get deep on what investors need to know about this crazy new place to put your money! In a special edition of "Buy The Dip", they guys learn they ate a stranger's piss last week, and make a huge announcement: the podcast is going to Salt Lake City for the Alpha Male Convention!

    Oh, and Producer Tessa reveals which one of the boys Googled her naked... and take revenge. This is a banger of an episode, and you do NOT want to miss it!

    "Buy the Dip" Dip: Pub Cheese

    14 February 2022, 7:39 am
  • 1 hour 4 minutes
    S2. Ep. 5 - "Ethereum"

    On this exciting new episode, Sean and Mike teach you all about Ethereum, "the other bitcoin". They also take you deeper inside the millionaire mindset of Mark Wahlberg, the hustle game's #1 champion (and world's leading turkey killer!). Later in the show, the guys sample a delicious dip sent in by a listener in the "Buy the Dip" segment! 

    There's never been a better time to learn about crypto, and this is the podcast that will help you do it!

    7 February 2022, 8:00 am
  • 1 hour 19 minutes
    S2. Ep. 4 - "Bitcoin"

    On this week's exciting new episode of "We Need to Talk About Crypto", Sean and Mike discuss how to adopt a "rise & grind" mentality that gets you out of bed and into the gym, as well as "Bitcoin", AKA the mother of all crypto. The guys take a moment to celebrate the success of a crypto fundraiser where high school kids paid money to savagely beat them with baseball bats, as well as proudly announce their ownership of one whole bitcoin. Also featured: Mark Wahlberg's turkey coop, The Men Who Stare at Coats, and a special appearance by the hellish demon known as "The Cryptokeeper".

    Oh, and clowns are back? Whatever that means. 

    31 January 2022, 8:00 am
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