Raising our kids to understand and share our values is a central part of being a parent. But so often when we send them out into the world, they come back using words or acting in ways that conflict with the things we’ve tried to teach them. Recently, a Mastermind mom shared that her six-year-old came home from playing at a neighbor’s house and called something “gay” like it meant “bad.” This resonated extra strongly with me. All three of my own kids, when they were younger, heard the exact same thing on the playground. As tough as it can be to hear that, it’s also an amazing opportunity to help strengthen your relationships with your kids while also reinforcing the values that your family holds dear. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to instill your family’s values without resorting to “because I said so.”
• Why it’s worth pausing to inform yourself when your kiddo is asking why.
• The lifelong closeness you can nurture when you’re not afraid to have tough conversations with your kids.

And much more! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-286

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

When our kids are talking down about themselves, of course our first instinct is to push back. But even though we say “you’re so beautiful,” or “you’re so smart,” or “you’ll get better if you practice,” the message we send is “I’m not listening and understanding your experience.” If you want to know the secret to tackling your kiddo’s insecurities without undermining their agency and self-determination, this ep is for you! I just coached one of my fabulous Mastermind moms through this, and I know you’ll be inspired by how she stepped up for her child.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The tools you can use to reorient your child’s perspective when they’re feeling bad about themselves. 
• Why it’s so much more important to listen than to argue with a kid who’s struggling with their self-worth.
• How insecurities that are papered over with praise can turn into meanness.

And much more! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-285

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

If you’re a parent with a kiddo who’s constantly angry and acting out, a diagnosis of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) can seem like an explanation for a lot of disruptive behavior. But what if that defiance and opposition are actually caused by other sensitivity? I’ve worked with so many parents who struggle to understand why their strong-willed kid is lashing out. An ODD diagnosis can seem like an answer, but the label doesn’t come with the tools to actually help their sensitive little human cope with their big feelings. Let’s talk about why I think ODD is a symptom, not a cause, and how to approach your struggling kiddo with the empathy they need to become a success story.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why I’m convinced the behavior we label as oppositional and defiant is really our kids asking for help the only way they know how. 
• All the other sensitivities and specialness that an ODD label can cause us to overlook.
• What strong-willed kids are looking for when they use external conflict to compensate for internal discomfort.
• Why we try to think our way through situations when we should learn how to feel through them instead.

And much more! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-284

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

https://mastermindparenting.com/call

Dr. Steven Storage on ODD as a symptom rather than a diagnosis: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C40o3PyL8C_

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

Housework. Homemaking. Chores. Whatever you call it, it’s hard work to maintain a safe, clean house, and it’s made so much harder by the expectations around that work. So many moms, whether they’re employed outside the home or not, find themselves in charge of a lot more of those household tasks than their kids or their partners. If we’re going to change those expectations we have to change the way we talk with our kids about the labor that’s so often invisible to them. Coach and author Lori Sugarman-Li has written an amazing kid’s book that will help you have those conversations, and turn housework into a full-family collaboration. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The mindset shift that will help you see the value of including your kiddos in household upkeep. 
• The kind of communication and compromise that will help your family express gratitude for your household and take pride in the work of maintaining it.
• How the health and well-being of women around the world are made worse by the invisible labor they disproportionately shoulder.

And much more! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-283

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

About Our Guest

Lori Sugarman-Li believes deeply in the power of families and is a passionate voice in the cultural shift aiming to articulate the value and visibility of unpaid work. She is dedicated to fostering meaningful conversations within families, encouraging them to contemplate how they care for one another and their shared space. Lori’s book Our Home: The Love, Work & Heart Of Family is available for pre-order at https://ourhomeourpride.com/my-childrens-book. Her website is https://ourhomeourpride.com/, and she’s on Instagram @ourhomeourpride

Resources Discussed/Links

Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans, by Michaleen Doucleff  https://michaeleendoucleff.com/hunt-gather-parent/ 

Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution For When You Have Too Much To Do (And More Life To Live), by Eve Rodsky https://www.everodsky.com/fair-play 

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

Kimberly Samson is the author of F*Ck This, a candid and hilarious collection of essays about the journey through midlife. She’s also one of my oldest friends, who has witnessed a ton of my formative moments as a person and a parent. In this conversation, Kimby shares what motivated her to write a book about the midlife experience and what she’s learned by living through it. She also lifts the curtain on some of my best (and not so best) moments as a mom. It’s a whole new perspective how I’ve grown as a parent of a strong-willed child, and how my mishaps have given me the tools to help others.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The pivotal role my sensitive child played in my transformation as a mother, and my ambition to help keep other parents from repeating my missteps.
• Why it’s okay for parents to talk to each other about their children more than anything else.
• That unconditional love and basic human annoyance aren’t mutually exclusive.
• How amazing my friend Kimby is!

And much more! 

 As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-282

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

About Our Guest

Kimberly Samson is an author, podcaster, blogger, influencer, mother of three, wife of one, and a native Angeleno. Her book F*Ck This: Practical Advice To Get You Through Your Midlife Crisis is available at https://www.amazon.com/CK-THIS-PRACTICAL-THROUGH-MIDLIFE/dp/B0CRPB51RG

Resources Discussed/Links

The Midlife podcast and blog: https://themidlife.co/ 

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

Every parent has some version of this story. Your kid crosses a line that’s important to you. You exchange angry words, but eventually you talk it out and repair your rapport. Now you’re stuck with conflicting feelings. You don’t want to cause further disruption to your relationship with your child, but you also know their behavior isn’t likely to change without some consequence. This time, I’m sharing the experience of a Masterminder who was caught in this exact dilemma. We’ll discuss the difficult but necessary steps you can take to honor your values, communicate their importance to your children, and help them be better prepared for adulthood in the process.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why sometimes the way to step up for your kiddos means imposing consequences that neither of you is happy about.
• The long-term benefit of short-term discomfort, for your relationship with your kids and their relationship with the world.
• How vitally important followthrough is in your role as pack leader.

And much more! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-281

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

Therapy can be a big help for some people. But for stressed-out parents, healing our old wounds and stepping up for our kiddos often requires a different approach. One of my Masterminders, Dr. Shawn Hondorp, has experienced this disconnect from the inside. Shawn is an experienced clinical psychologist who isn’t satisfied with the tools and techniques of the traditional diagnostic therapy methods. She’s developing a new approach to improving mental health.

Shawn’s practices reject pathology and easy labels. Instead, they help you identify your old patterns of thoughts and feelings, understand why they were woven, and put them to work in ways that help rather than hinder your growth. I’m honored that working with me has helped her find the courage to share this new vision of what therapy can accomplish, and I can’t wait for you to learn about it!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How a focus on efficiency and accomplishment can actually cost us - and our kiddos - more time and energy in the long run.
• The real reason why we struggle with negative self talk, and how that context can help you keep it from overwhelming you.
• Why pack leaders need other pack leaders they can lean on and grow with.

And much more! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-280

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

About Our Guest

Dr. Shawn Hondorp is a clinical psychologist whose goal is to create safe learning environments for those who want to explore innovative approaches to healing, one authentic conversation at a time. Learn more about her work, and subscribe to The Innovative Therapist Podcast, at https://drshawnhondorp.com/ 

Resources Discussed/Links

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model, by Dick Schwartz https://ifs-institute.com/store/419

Decolonizing Therapy: Oppression, Historical Trauma & Politicizing Your Practice, by Dr. Jennifer Mullan https://www.decolonizingtherapy.com/book 

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

Last week’s conversation about ADHD got my brain firing about what a diagnosis can and can’t do for the parents of a highly sensitive child. Getting that label can be a starting point, but our mental health system doesn’t train medical professionals - or support struggling parents - to understand what those kiddos need to adapt and thrive. Membership Coordinator (and Mastermind Co-parent) Lindsey joins me on the mic this week, to share a success story from a new Masterminder. From there we talk about why diagnosis is just the start, medication isn’t a sure fix, and what leading your pack through a tough day with a strong-willed kiddo actually looks like.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How a disjointed mental health system often leaves parents with more questions than answers.
• The important role of your intuition in deciding what works best for your family.
• Why a diagnosis can be helpful, and why it’s only one piece of a puzzle when it comes to helping your child navigate the world.
• The difference between understanding your kiddo’s big feelings and letting them hijack your household when they express those feelings.

And much more! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-279

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

An ADHD diagnosis can be a welcome answer for parents who are struggling to understand their child’s behavior. But a diagnosis doesn’t come with a user’s manual, and kids especially can have a hard time understanding what all the clinical terms mean for them and their needs. This time I’m in conversation with pediatric neuropsychologists Dr. Katia Fredriksen and Dr. Yael E. Rothman. They’ve written Different Thinkers: ADHD a kid-friendly guide that aims to help little ones understand and celebrate their neurodiversity.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why sleep issues, anxiety, and other sensitivities are often mistaken for signs of ADHD.
• How a collaborative approach involving parents, teachers, and medical professionals can help you understand and honor kids no matter their neurodiversity.
• That helping a highly sensitive child cope with an overstimulated world works best when you take it step by step.

And much more! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-278

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

About My Guests:

• Katia Fredriksen, Ph.D. and Yael E. Rothman, Ph.D. are pediatric neuropsychologists and the authors of Different Thinkers: ADHD, a child-friendly guide that strips away the stigmas, myths, and misconceptions associated with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. https://www.boystownpress.org/different-thinkers-adhd-softcover/ 

Resources Discussed/Links

The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The World Overwhelms Themby Elaine N. Aron Ph.D. https://hsperson.com/books/the-highly-sensitive-child/

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

We all want our kids to grow up confident and self-sufficient. But by doing too much and protecting our kids from failure, so many well-meaning moms and dads end up discouraging the autonomy they want their kids to achieve. Welcome to the first episode of an ongoing conversation with my friend and fave, Michaeleen Doucleff, author of the phenomenal book Hunt, Gather, Parent. We use real stories from my Mastermind Parents to help us find antidotes to the performative, perfectionist parenting models we’re trying to overturn.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The key mindset shift that will help you develop a mutually respectful, collaborative connection with your children.
• What happens when you stop trying to find the perfect script and start talking to your kids like full human beings.
• Why parents who do the most for their kids wind up raising little anxious humans.
• How the strategies we use to motivate and reward our kiddos actually push down their natural drive to help out.

And much more! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-277

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

About Michaleen Doucleff:

• Michaleen Doucleff is an award-winning global health correspondent and the author of Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans. https://michaeleendoucleff.com/hunt-gather-parent/ 

Resources Discussed/Links

Jonathan Haidt’s upcoming book The Anxious Generation https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729231/the-anxious-generation-by-jonathan-haidt 

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Lindsay C. Gibson https://www.newharbinger.com/9781626251700/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents/

The Whole Brain Child, by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. & Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. https://www.tinabryson.com/thewholebrainchild

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

No parent loves to admit feeling annoyed by their kids. It’s tempting to dismiss little problems, and try to ignore the frustration they cause inside us. This is extra hard if we’ve experienced gaslighting in the past. If we’ve gotten the message from partners or parents that our emotions aren’t trustworthy, it can be so easy to repeat that pattern and not trust our reactions. But if we pay attention to them, small frustrations can give us big info about what’s going on with our kiddos. And if you approach the annoying behavior with a curious, understanding mindset, you can address the root causes before they turn into bigger issues down the road.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• A real-life example of a small annoyance that could have turned into a big deal if this Mastermind mom ignored her feelings.
• Why it’s so important to treat a kid who’s acting out like a teammate rather than an adversary.
• How to listen to your inner voice when it’s telling you that a little deal behavior is hinting at a bigger problem.

And much more! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-276

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/