Episode #13:
Dr. Joel Hanson is a psychiatrist specializing in addiction treatment. He has both a personal and professional connection with recovery having founded both residential rehab and detox treatment centers in central and southern Utah. He currently works for Altium Health as the Chief Medical Officer. In this episode, Dr. Hanson shares his experiences with and insights into recovery and medication-assistance treatment along with answers our questions about how he chose his psychiatry and addiction treatment profession and started a rehab as well as what’s on the horizon for treatment.

Episode Song:
Hold On by Wilson Phillips

I know there’s pain
Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don’t ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

Some day somebody’s gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things’ll go your way
Hold on for one more day

You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You’ve got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin’ your worries pass you by
Don’t you think it’s worth your time
To change your mind?

Some day somebody’s gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things’ll go your way
Hold on for one more day

I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free the chains
Yeah I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and you
Break free, break from the chains

Some day somebody’s gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on

Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
If you hold on
Can you hold on
Hold on baby
Won’t you tell me now
Hold on for one more day ’cause
It’s gonna go your way

Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can’t you change it this time

Make up your mind
Hold on
Hold on
Baby hold on

Episode #12:
Life was never easy for Heidi. At a young age, she lost her father to an electrocution accident at a construction site. Her mother began making, selling, and using crystal meth to cope. Heidi began using meth at age 11 with her mother. At age 13, Heidi’s mother was sent to prison, and she found herself all alone. She dropped out of middle school and began making money by selling drugs. For over a decade, she racked up 12 felonies, lost custody of her children, and continued selling. She was finally able to find help at the House of Hope and the Family Support Center. Now she has celebrated over 8 years of sobriety, has her kids back, and is the Director of LifeStart Village at the Family Support Center.

Episode Song:
Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty

She’s a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
She’s a good girl, who’s crazy ’bout Elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too

And it’s a long day livin’ in Reseda
There’s a freeway runnin’ through the yard
And I’m a bad boy, cause I don’t even miss her
I’m a bad boy for breakin’ her heart

Now I’m free
Free fallin’
Yeah, I’m free
Free fallin’

Now all the vampires walkin’ through the valley
Move west down Ventura boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
And the good girls are home with broken hearts

Now I’m free
I’m free fallin’
Yeah, I’m free
Free fallin’

Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m
Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now

I wanna glide down over Mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
I’m gonna free fall out into nothin’
Gonna leave this world for awhile

Now I’m free (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)
Free fallin’ (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)
Yeah, I’m free (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)
Free fallin’ (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)

(Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)
Now I’m free
Free fallin’
Oh (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)
Free fallin’ (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)
Now I’m free (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)
Oh, free fallin’ (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)
(Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m) Free fallin’

Episode #11:
Reverend Jan Brown, Founding/Executive Director from SpiritWorks Foundation Center for the Soul in Virginia, has not used drugs or alcohol or drugs since January 1, 1987. Her addiction began with alcohol, while sneaking “ledge” drinks as a youth to getting an honorable military discharge in order to deal with her addiction. Now she serves as an ordained Deacon in the Episcopal Church, Chairperson of the Board of Directors of Face and Voices of Recovery, and co-chair of the Addiction and Recovery Commission for the Diocese of Southern Virginia. In 2014 she was appointed by the Governor of Virginia to serve on the Governor’s Task Force on Prescription Drug and Heroin Abuse.

Recommended Resources:

• SpiritWorks Foundation Center for the Soul is a Recovery Community Organization (RCO) based in Williamsburg, VA. Founded in 2005, we are pioneers in a growing field of peer led addiction recovery and wellness organizations.  SpiritWorks Foundation is comprised of, and led primarily by, people who live in recovery from addiction. We deliver peer to peer programs and services for children, youth, and adults living in recovery from the disease of addiction. Our programs and services build resilience in children, inspire youth to live drug free, and support, educate and empower adults who live in recovery.
• SpiritWorks Institute: Our mission is to create a knowledge base that will guide individuals, families, allies, communities, and others as they work to build or rebuild thriving communities that have been sickened by addiction.
• Provisions for the Journey: The purpose of this website is to offer provisions for the journey – the sacred journey from a life of brokenness to a life of healing and wholeness.  

Episode Song: 
Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum

When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that’s the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin’ up to the spirit in the sky
Goin’ up to the spirit in the sky
That’s where I’m gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that’s the best

Prepare yourself you know it’s a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He’s gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
That’s where you’re gonna go when you die
When you die and they lay you to rest
You’re gonna go to the place that’s the best

Never been a sinner I never sinned
I got a friend in Jesus
So you know that when I die
He’s gonna set me up with
The spirit in the sky
Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky
That’s where I’m gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I’m gonna go to the place that’s the best
Go to the place that’s the best

S. Lee Chew, MS, CMHC, NCC leads a 10 minute meditation with a special focus on mindfulness. This meditation was created by Eric Garland, a professor from the University of Utah, and he developed a recovery program called Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement. This particular exercise has been designed for everyone in recovery, but anyone interested in meditation will enjoy it.

Please note: This meditation was part of Episode #10 on Mindfulness. We’ve extracted this guided meditation from the episode for those of you that just need a quick burst of mindfulness.

Episode #10:
S. Lee Chew, MS, CMHC, NCC joins us to explain mindfulness and the value of it not only in addiction recovery but in everyday life. In this episode, you will learn the difference between mindfulness and meditation, how they complement each other, and how you can rewire your brain with mindfulness. Chris also shares his experiences with mindfulness and how it helps him stay sober. Lastly, join us for a guided meditation with Lee. If you would like to skip directly to the meditation, go to 39:24 of this recording.

Recommended Resources:

• The Mindful Self Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff, PhD
• Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement by Eric L. Garland, PhD, LCSW
• Mindfulness Solutions by Ronald D. Siegal, PsyD
• Refuge Recovery: A Buddhist Path to Recovering from Addiction by Noah Levine

Episode Song:
Weightless by Marconi Union

There are no words to this song, but it is the perfect song to accompany your mindfulness practice. It was scientifically created to reduce anxiety. “The group that created “Weightless”, Marconi Union, did so in collaboration with sound therapists. Its carefully arranged harmonies, rhythms, and bass lines help slow a listener’s heart rate, reduce blood pressure and lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol.” From the article: Neuroscience Says Listening to This Song Reduces Anxiety by Up to 65 Percent

Episode #9:
Julia Parent, ACHMC at Turning Point shares her personal journey with grief & loss while undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatments while she completed her Master’s in Mental Health Counseling and worked as an intern at Turning Point. We also discuss the Grief Wheel from the initial stage of loss through recovery and how grief is cyclical as recovery from the loss of a loved one, disease (including addition), even situations that may seem happy (e.g. moving, starting a new job, having a baby), and many other life events. Most importantly we focus on how you can successfully manage the complexities of grief & loss in a healthy way.

Episode Song:
Just Breathe by Pearl Jam

Lyrics

Yes I understand
That every life must end
As we sit alone
I know someday we must go

Yeah I’m a lucky man
To count on both hands
The ones I love
Some folks just have one
Yeah others they got none

Stay with me
Let’s just breathe

Practiced on our sins
Never gonna let me win
Under everything
Just another human being

I don’t want to hurt
There’s so much in this world
To make me believe

Stay with me
All I see

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
What if I did and I’m a fool you see
No one knows this more than me
‘Cause I come clean

I wonder everyday
As I look upon your face
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take
Nothing you would take
Everything you gave

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
What if I did and I’m a fool you see
No one knows this more than me
I come clean

Nothing you would take
Everything you gave
Hold me ’till I die
Meet you on the other side

Episode #8:
Find out what a week of detox is like. Hear all about Chris’s experiences during his week of detox from alcohol, benzos, meth, and opiates. From leaving the intervention and going directly to detox, Amy and Chris reflect on the intake process to Chris’s decision to go to inpatient rehab. While Chris embarks on his recovery, Amy comes to terms with his addiction and helps him get the support he needed while taking care of their 2 month old baby. You will also hear Amy’s dramatic confrontation with a drug dealer.

Episode Song:
Don’t Like the Drugs (But the Drugs Like Me) by Marilyn Manson

Lyrics

Norm life baby
We’re white and oh so hetero
And our sex is missionary

Norm life baby
We’re quitters and we’re sober
Our confessions will be televised

You and I are under dosed and we’re ready to fall
Raised to be stupid, taught to be nothing at all

I don’t like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don’t like the drugs, the drugs the drugs

Norm life baby
Our god is white and unforgiving
We’re piss tested and we’re praying

Norm life baby
I’m just a sample of a soul
Made to look just like a human being

Norm life baby
We’re rehabbed and we’re ready
For our fifteen minutes of shame

Norm life baby
We’re talk shown and we’re pointing
Just like Christians at a suicide

You and I are under dosed and we’re ready to fall
Raised to be stupid, taught to be nothing at all

I don’t like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don’t like the drugs, the drugs the drugs

There’s a hole in our soul that we fill with dope
And we’re feeling fine

I don’t like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don’t like the drugs, the drugs the drugs

Episode #7:
Healthy communication is not only a key component for recovery, but an essential aspect of all good relationships with our friends, families, loved ones, colleagues, and associates. This topic is truly something we can all benefit from. Mayreann Frantz, CMHC, therapist, defines different types of communication styles, shares tips & tricks for healthy communication, and provides examples of how we can have difficult, caring conversations.

Episode Song:
Communication Breakdown by Led Zeppelin

Lyrics

Hey girl stop what you’re doin’!
Hey girl you’ll drive me to ruin.
I don’t know what it is that I like about you
But I like it a lot.
Won’t you let me hold you
Let me feel your lovin’ charms.

Communication breakdown
It’s always the same
I’m having a nervous breakdown
Drive me insane!

Hey girl I got something I think you ought to know.
Hey babe I want to tell you that I love you so.
I want to hold you in my arms, yeah!
I’m never gonna let you go,
‘Cause I like your charms.

Communication breakdown
It’s always the same
I’m having a nervous breakdown
Drive me insane!

Episode #6:
Isaac, Chris’s friend from Turning Point, discusses his journey to sobriety. He became addicted to opiates as a youth after recovering from knee surgery. It was his 15th time in rehab that he was finally able to maintain sobriety. From living in motels and on the streets of LA, running from the law, and selling drugs to maintain his habit, Isaac has been sober for almost a year and a half. He is currently awaiting approval from a judge to move back home with his family, and we wish his all the best.

Episode Song:
Homeward Bound by Simon & Garfunkel

Lyrics
I’m sitting in the railway station
Got a ticket to my destination
On a tour of one-night stands my suitcase and guitar in hand
And every stop is neatly planned for a poet and a one-man band
Homeward bound
I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home where my thought’s escaping
Home where my music’s playing
Home where my love lies waiting
Silently for me

Every day’s an endless stream
Of cigarettes and magazines
And each town looks the same to me, the movies and the factories
And every stranger’s face I see reminds me that I long to be
Homeward bound
I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home where my thought’s escaping
Home where my music’s playing
Home where my love lies waiting
Silently for me

Tonight I’ll sing my songs again
I’ll play the game and pretend
But all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity
Like emptiness in harmony I need someone to comfort me
Homeward bound
I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home where my thought’s escaping
Home where my music’s playing
Home where my love lies waiting
Silently for me
Silently for me

Episode #5:
Why won’t you just quit? For families, friends, and loved ones of those in addiction, this question is often asked. Therapist, Dennis Woodruff, helps answer this question by explaining the purpose of the midbrain and prefrontal cortex and how they are affected by addiction. He also discusses the importance of separating the behavior from the person and boundaries.

Episode Song:
My Mind Is My Enemy by Praga Khan

Lyrics
I Like To Pretend That Nothing Has Changed
But All I Ever Loved You Just Took It Away
There’s A Knife In My Chest
I Go To Sleep But Not To Rest
What Was Once Will Never Be
Past Looks Better Than Reality
It’s Like A War Inside Of Me
When My Mind Becomes My Enemy

My Mind Is My Enemy

Used And Abused By So Called Friends
It’s Hard To Accept You’re One Of Them
You Took It All, What Was Left Of Me
My Pride, Respect, My Dignity
You Killed Me Once, Now You Kill Me Again
It’s Tough For Me To Understand
It’s Like A Warzone, Deep Inside Of Me
When My Mind Becomes My Enemy

My Mind Is My Enemy

I Close My Eyes Out Of Desperation
My Soul Is Praying For Salvation
Let Me Fade Away Into An Endless Sleep
There Will Be No One Left To Weep
A One Way Needle To The Stars
Where I Can Find Peace In My Users Heart
It’s Like A War Inside Of Me
When My Mind Becomes My Enemy