Everybody Hates Rand: A Wheel of Time Podcast

Everybody Hates Rand

Just two hyper-critical English majors talking some pretty big game about The Wheel of Time. Co-hosts Emily and Sally gather around their kitchen table each week to serve you up a full fantasy feast of oft-misremembered summary, hot analysis, scraps of literary theory, and a whole lot of hating Rand.

  • 1 hour 8 minutes
    Episode 311: Noal in the Tower of Ghenjei with a Machine Gun
    We couldn't end EHR without answering a few important questions, like: How did idiots like us stumble into podcasting success? What happens now? What happens to the website? And, of course, which Wheel of Time character should have a gun?

    EHR Substack

    Transcript

    9 December 2024, 1:00 pm
  • 1 hour 13 minutes
    Episode 310: Mister Character Development

    With no more chapters to summarize, it's just us and a Rainforest Cafe-themed novelty light-up cup, trying to decide whether and by what metrics Wheel of Time is a successful series.

    Transcript

    25 November 2024, 3:00 pm
  • 44 minutes 1 second
    Episode 309: Randorin

    Alright, who put "body swap" on their bingo card? We read the epilogue and talk about who else should have (actually) died, the possible Heroes of the Horn Polycule, Better Amyrlins Than Cadsuane (Literally anyone), Rand Uchiha, and ... God??

    Transcript

    11 November 2024, 1:00 pm
  • 48 minutes 18 seconds
    Episode 308: The Germ Theory of Disease

    We've reentered Flop City with ch. 45–49. This rushed sequence manages to both under-explain and over-explain itself, and would it really be a Wheel of Time climax if there wasn't misogyny? At least we have Gaul's SWAT team of wolves and Moridin getting his Darth Maul on.

    Transcript

    4 November 2024, 1:00 pm
  • 42 minutes 57 seconds
    Episode 307: Call Me Mishraile

    Ch. 42–44 are packed with character development ... that has already happened! We talk about All the Dads Dying, Logain Inventing CPS, Horn of Valere Orientation, Asexual Artur Hawkwing, and Thom's, uh, Interesting Word Choice.

    Transcript

    28 October 2024, 12:00 pm
  • 47 minutes 2 seconds
    Episode 306: Lady Corpse-a-Lot
    Ch. 38–41 are emotional and climactic but largely flopped for us. Why can't Rand stop ascending to godhood? Why does everyone want Lan to be Aragorn? Why is The Beautiful Shendla here? We have these and other questions. Transcript

    21 October 2024, 12:00 pm
  • 49 minutes 43 seconds
    Episode 305: We Could've Had Girl Nuke

    R.I.P. to, uh, everyone? Not really, but close. We finish ch. 37 and talk about the Hurinspital, how Wheel of Time is trying to be Game of Thrones, the Barbenheimer sequel, a possible Lews Therin jumpscare, and how at least Demandred Has Hobbies.

    Transcript

    14 October 2024, 12:00 pm
  • 46 minutes 6 seconds
    Episode 304: Horse Crimes

    R.I.P. to the best character in the series (Bela the horse). Unfortunately she died in service of the worst subplot in the series. We discuss Choice vs. Fate Philosophy, how Talmanes Is In a Saw Trap, Getting a Death Notice from a Wolf, and Playing Evil Catch with My Evil Son.

    Transcript

    7 October 2024, 12:00 pm
  • 44 minutes 59 seconds
    Episode 303: How Many Eight-Year-Olds Does It Take to Tie a Tourniquet?

    Why are children on this battlefield? Inquiring minds want to know. We talk about Belinda, Brando Sando Power Activate, Berelain's Herspital, Demandred's Balefire Gun, Shendla's Snipe List, Upgrading to a Lesbian Warder, and Artur Hawkwing as a Mean Bisexual.

    Transcript

    30 September 2024, 12:00 pm
  • 42 minutes 52 seconds
    Episode 302: Demandred's Situationship

    Somehow Demandred has time to ... date? We're confused. As we dive deeper into chapter 37, we talk about Chad Galad's Autistic Rizz, Logain Believes in Logain, Canonical "It" Pronouns, Fantasy Slurs, and whether upping the stakes is effective anymore.

    Transcript

    23 September 2024, 12:00 pm
  • 39 minutes 42 seconds
    Episode 301: Rhuarc Has Been DILF-Certified

    He's also been Taken (TM) by Graendal, so that's bad, but it's nice to know he's hot. Also in this episode: Girl Don't Touch Your Face, Siuan Is Retiring Tomorrow, Uno the Chaperone, X-Men Talents, and Pevara's Stanley Cup.

    Transcript

    9 September 2024, 12:00 pm
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