Asking questions at work isn’t just about getting answers. Sure, you need the information you’re requesting, but you’re also showing your colleagues and leaders how you think. When your questions are strategic, clear, and well-timed, they can show that you’re insightful and committed to moving the work forward while also demonstrating you have leadership potential.

Amy G talks with a program manager who wants to get better at asking questions that show executive presence. They’re joined by Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks, who shares research-backed advice on navigating the complexities of workplace conversations.

Guest expert:

Alison Wood Brooks is a professor at Harvard Business School and the author of TALK: The Science Of Conversation And The Art Of Being Ourselves.

Resources:

• “The Surprising Power of Questions,” by Alison Wood Brooks and Leslie K. John
• “Best of IdeaCast: To Build Stronger Teams, Ask Better Questions,” by IdeaCast
• “Why Asking for Advice Is More Effective Than Asking for Feedback,” by Jaewon Yoon et al.
• “The Essentials: Getting the Feedback You Need,” by Women at Work

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Maria’s boss used to be a mentor—someone she admired, learned from, and enjoyed working with. But after a reorg, he changed. He became critical and dismissive, questioned her commitment to work, and started to undermine her instead of lifting her up. Now she’s struggling to maintain a productive working relationship with someone who is unsupportive at best and out to get her at worst.

How should you handle a boss who’s turned against you? How do you protect your reputation and career while managing the stress?

In this episode, Amy G speaks with Maria and suggests strategies, based on her book Getting Along, for navigating a difficult relationship with a boss whose insecurity has turned him into a tormentor. By the end of their conversation, Maria has a plan for moving forward, setting boundaries, and preserving her well-being.

Resources:

• Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People), by Amy Gallo
• Speak Up, Speak Out, from the HBR Women at Work Series
• “Research: Shifting the Power Balance with an Abusive Boss,” by Hui Liao et al.
• “What to Do When Your Boss Betrays You,” by Ron Carucci
• “Research: Insecure Managers Don’t Want Your Suggestions,” by Nathanael J. Fast et al.

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After 10 seasons, Women at Work is changing things up for the better. We’re shifting to a new, year-round schedule, releasing a new episode every other Monday, starting March 10. That means more episodes that inspire reflection and growth, more practical advice, and more insights and stories that make you feel seen and supported in your career.

We’ll continue The Essentials and Amy B’s How to Manage series. We’re relaunching Getting Along, where Amy G teaches us how to deal with different types of difficult people. Plus, every few months, we’ll dedicate an “Ask the Amys” episode to questions from you.

So, follow the show now, and we’ll be back in your feed next Monday!

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What’s on your work wish list? A conference or training? A higher performance rating or salary or job title? Feedback from someone you respect? A project you’d like to lead? Clearer communication from your boss? Or maybe an extension on a deadline?

These are the sorts of things that Amy Gallo and four listeners asked for (and mostly got) when they did Alison Fragale’s “nos challenge” from our episode “To Get What You Want, Be Both Assertive and Warm.” These were the rules: ask different colleagues for something they have the power to give you and that you’d value having. Keep track of the requests and responses until you’ve gotten 10 nos. Also keep track of the yeses and how each response made you feel.

In doing the challenge, they tested their assumptions about people’s willingness to meet their wants and needs. They also crossed off lots of items on their wish lists, learned to fear rejection less, and gained status. Now, your turn?

Guest expert:

Alison Fragale is a professor of organizational behavior at the University of North Carolina’s business school. She’s the author of the book Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve.

Resources:

• “All the Help We Can Get,” from Women at Work
• “3 Negotiation Myths Still Harming Women’s Careers,” by Kathryn Valentine and Hannah Riley Bowles
• “How to Get the Help You Need,” by Heidi Grant
• “Ask for What You Need at Work,” by Deborah Grayson Riegel
• “Saying No at Work: Our Favorite Reads,” by Rakshitha Arni Ravishankar
• Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader, by Herminia Ibarra

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Changing jobs is hard. Changing sectors is daunting. You’ve built a network, a reputation, skills, expertise, a firm grasp of how that industry operates. Maybe you even got a related degree or two! And to just leave all that behind…except that, you really are stuck or unfulfilled or simply underpaid.

When it comes to shifting your career, the stakes are high, but so is your potential to succeed. Executive coach Nina Bowman regularly guides people through the process, with all of its uncertainty, time commitment, strategizing, and storytelling. Amy B speaks with her about making a bold mid-career leap, including how to identify a new path, build connections to land interviews, and tell the story of how you’ll find success in a completely different role.

Then, two listeners who made bold leaps themselves—one from academia to tech, the other from government to consulting—share their experiences and insights.

Guest expert:

Nina Bowman is an executive coach and managing partner of the consultancy Paravis Partners.

Resources:

• “4 Questions to Help Women Navigate the Second Half of Their Careers,” by Palena Neale
• “The Right Way to Make a Big Career Transition,” Utkarsh Amitabh
• “Are You at Risk of a Mid-Career Rut?” by Laurence Minsky and Julia Tang Peters
• “Starting a New Job as a Mid-Career Professional,” by Marlo Lyons
• “Reinventing Your Career — When It’s Not Just About You,” by Herminia Ibarra
• “4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Changing Careers,” by Dorie Clark
• “Do You Really Need a Big Career Change?” by Irina Cozma
• Taking Charge of Your Career, from the HBR Women at Work Series
• HBR Guide to Changing Your Career, by Harvard Business Review

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Marti Bledsoe, a past guest of the show, recounts how she burned out, quit her job, intended to get a new job after taking a breather, and then wasn’t able to for over a year. That’s because someone in her family kept getting sick or hurt, she had to move twice, and all of the logistics and emotional support fell to her (because who else was going to do it?!).

These ever-expanding, relentless set of responsibilities is the norm for lots of women in the U.S., especially mothers. Sociologist Jessica Calarco joins Marti and Amy B to help make sense of Marti’s exhausting year of unpaid work and the forces that put her and other women into the position of being people’s default, unpaid caregiver.

Guest expert:

Jessica Calarco is a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin and the author of the book Holding It Together: How Women Became America’s Safety Net.

Resources:

• “Your Employees Are Also Caregivers. Here’s How to Support Them,” by Gretchen Gavett
• “Working While Managing Your Child’s Mental Health,” from Women at Work
• “When You’re Responsible for Eldercare,” from Women at Work

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Do you expect and hope that you’ll have more time for yourself and for your career as your kids become teens and young adults? Amy G did. However, she didn’t fully anticipate the emotional intensity of being a working mom of a teenager. Responding to seemingly urgent texts, keeping track of an ever-changing after-school schedule, and being an on-call problem-solver would affect anyone’s ability to focus, including hers.

There’s little research on or conversation about this phase of working motherhood, and Amy wants to help other working moms not not only get through it but enjoy it as much as possible.

She’s joined by Babson College professor Danna Greenberg, who’s the co-author of Maternal Optimism and a mother of three twenty-somethings. Amy and Danna talk though questions like, How do I recover my focus after my kid calls to unload? How might I counter people’s judgy comments about how involved (or not) I am in my teen’s life? How can I avoid becoming my kid’s de facto boss?

Guest expert:

Danna Greenberg is a professor of organizational behavior at Babson College and the co-author of the book Maternal Optimism: Forging Positive Paths through Work and Motherhood.

Resources:

• “The Upside of Working Motherhood,” from Women at Work
• “How Being a Working Parent Changes as Children Grow Up,” by Danna Greenberg and Jamie Ladge
• “How Working Parents Can Manage the Demands of School-Age Kids,” by Daisy Dowling
• The HBR Working Parents Series Collection, by Harvard Business Review

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How much are you using ChatGPT or Claude or one of the other LLMs in your job? Have you, like the Amys, largely avoided it because you haven’t been impressed with what you’ve seen it do? Or you haven’t thought of a compelling use case? Or maybe you feel professionally threatened?

The Amys have gone from being skeptical dabblers to skeptical enthusiasts. Why? They heard several listeners describe how they’ve gotten surprisingly good results, not to mention mental relief, greater agency at work, and imaginative business leads.

If you haven’t yet tried your hand at GenAI, we hope these power users, along with our guest expert, data journalist Alexandra Samuel, inspire you to finally do that; and if you’re already using the technology, that you come away with new ideas.

Guest expert:

Alexandra Samuel is a tech speaker and data journalist who creates data-driven reports and workshops for companies around the world.

Resources:

• “How the Next Generation of Managers Is Using Gen AI,” by Gabriele Rosani and Elisa Farri
• “Using ChatGPT to Make Better Decisions,” by Thomas Ramge and Viktor Mayer-Schönberger
• “The AI Skills You Should Be Building Now,” from the HBR IdeaCast
• “A Toolkit to Help You Manage Uncertainty Around AI,” by Oguz A. Acar and Bob Bastian
• “Embracing Gen AI at Work,” by H. James Wilson and Paul R. Daugherty

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Worrying is a fact of life; it comes and goes—usually. But what do you do when it doesn’t go away? And starts to disrupt your work? Women are twice as likely as men to develop an anxiety disorder, which can show up as physical symptoms like dizziness and nausea and as mental symptoms like repetitive and catastrophic thinking. If you’ve been worried for a while, wondering if you should see a therapist, take time off, tell your boss, or even quit your job, clinical psychologist Michelle Drapkin has advice.

She and the Amys discuss the differences between run-of-the-mill anxiety and a disorder. They also get into practical advice, like how to keep yourself from spiraling after a mistake, what to say when you wake up too anxious to do your job that day, and how managers can sensitively approach an employee who appears to need help.

Guest:

Michelle Drapkin is a clinical psychologist and behavioral scientist who specializes in anxiety and panic disorders.

Resources:

• “Women @ Work 2024: A Global Outlook,” from Deloitte
• “How High Achievers Overcome Their Anxiety,” by Morra Aarons-Mele
• “Managing Anxiety When There’s No Room for Error,” by Alice Boyes
• “How to Talk About Your Mental Health with Your Employer,” by Kelly Greenwood

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When you’ve gone after something you want, like a promotion or less boring work, did you follow the typical advice to lean hard into your confident, forceful side? When you’re interacting with people at work, how often do you find yourself deflecting praise, downplaying your accomplishments, or responding “busy!” when someone asks how you’re doing? We often make a tradeoff between being likable and being strong, but is it possible to be both assertive and warm?

Alison Fragale, a professor of organizational behavior, says yes. She argues that women can—and should—embrace warmth and assertiveness to build respect, elevate their status, and gain power. Alison shares practical ways to show up as strong and personable and offers advice on how to approach negotiations, networking, and other everyday interactions, including your out-of-office message.

Guest:

Alison Fragale is a professor of organizational behavior at the University of North Carolina’s business school. She’s the author of the book Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve.

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How would having a woman in the most powerful position in the United States affect how Americans perceive women as leaders? What changes have resulted from this type of representation in other countries, like Pakistan, Brazil, and New Zealand?

Political scientist Farida Jalalzai and organizational psychologist Laura Morgan Roberts unpack the symbolic and practical effects of having a woman in a top leadership position. They explore how Kamala Harris’s potential presidency could challenge and shift our notions of leadership and change the way that women understand what’s possible for themselves. They also dive into the realities Harris might face if elected—like juggling high expectations and navigating the complexities of representation.

Guests:

Farida Jalalzai is a political scientist and professor at Virginia Tech.

Laura Morgan Roberts is an organizational psychologist and professor at the University of Virginia’s Darden School of Business.

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