Stop losing yourself to love.

What if codependency isn't just about your relationships with other people, but your relationship with yourself?

In this episode, John and Vanessa explore why recovering from codependency is really about building a stronger sense of identity. They explain how people pleasing, lacking boundaries, and fearing rejection can keep us disconnected from who we really are, and why choosing authenticity over self-abandonment is essential for healthier relationships.

In this episode:

• Why codependency recovery is really identity work

• How people pleasing can become a way to avoid yourself

• The connection between resentment, boundaries, and self-abandonment

• Why some relationships change or end when you begin healing

• The difference between healthy love and the version of love many of us were taught

• How corrective experiences help you build a stronger relationship with yourself

If you enjoyed this episode, follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

🔗 Resources & Links

👉 Apply to Inner Compass Academy: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy

👉 Follow Vanessa on Instagram @vanessasbennett

👉 Author of “The Motherhood Myth” Buy the Book Here: https://shorturl.at/Thsny

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when life forces you to start over?

In this personal check-in, John Kim reflects on the unexpected lessons that came from rebuilding his life after losing his home. From learning to surf at 53 to finding clarity through travel and stepping out of survival mode, this episode explores what it means to reconnect with yourself and embrace a different way of living.

In this episode:

• Why learning to surf became more than just a new hobby

• How reconnecting with old parts of yourself can lead to real growth

• The unexpected ways Costa Rica has reshaped his perspective on life

• What travel has taught him about identity, home, and possibility

• The difference between living in survival mode and living with intention

• Why changing your environment can change the way you see yourself

If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, John and Vanessa answer listeners' questions about what healthy and unhealthy expectations are in dating, relationships, and marriage.

🔗 Resources & Links

👉 Apply to Inner Compass Academy: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy

👉 Follow Vanessa on Instagram @vanessasbennett

👉 Author of “The Motherhood Myth” Buy the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Motherhood-Myth-Reimagining-Expectations-Partnership/dp/1649633416

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What are you curious about these days?

What if taking stock of what you're interested in, and what you're ready to leave behind, could reveal exactly where you're headed next?

In this solo episode, John Kim shares a personal list of the ideas, experiences, and questions capturing his attention in this season of life, alongside the habits, mindsets, and patterns he's no longer interested in carrying. From curiosity and possibility to letting go of certainty and external validation, this conversation is an invitation to reflect on what's changing within you.

In this episode:

• Why curiosity has become more important than certainty

• How strangers can become chosen family

• The value of holding on loosely instead of gripping tightly

• Letting go of validation, grudges, and winning arguments

• Friending your demons instead of fighting them

• Why defining what you're no longer interested in matters

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it actually take to build healthy relationships?

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John Kim answers some of the most common questions about love, healing, attachment, and personal growth. From redefining what it means to fall in love to understanding why peace is something you give yourself - not something you find - this episode explores the inner work that shapes the way we connect with others.

John shares practical insights on anxious attachment, healing after toxic relationships, rupture and repair, emotional safety, and why the healthiest relationships are built through daily choices rather than fleeting feelings. He also explores the importance of studying yourself, accepting impermanence, and living a "through me" life instead of feeling like life is happening to you.

In this episode:

• Why peace is something you can give yourself

• What it means to live a "through me" life

• Why self-help is really the lifelong study of self

• How fear of impermanence fuels suffering

• The qualities that should never be negotiable in relationships

• The difference between falling in love and choosing to love

• Signs you're in a healthy, secure relationship

• Whether emotional attraction alone is enough

• Why every relationship requires rupture and repair

• Understanding anxious attachment when you're apart from your partner

• How healthy relationships can help support emotional healing

• What your nervous system needs after a toxic relationship

• Two questions that can help guide your life and relationships

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this solo episode, John Kim shares a collection of personal notes written over coffee in Costa Rica, exploring what he's learning about wholeness, love, masculinity, ambition, and personal growth. Through honest reflections and stories, he challenges the idea that we need to keep proving ourselves and offers a different path rooted in presence, curiosity, and living more fully.

In this episode:

• Why the goal isn't balance, but wholeness

• What it means to "feed the other wolf"

• How healthy love can feel unfamiliar after chaos

• Why life's "B-sides" often become the most meaningful chapters

• How to break free from rumination and reconnect with the present

• Why staying unfinished may be the key to continued growth

If this episode resonated with you, follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When sex changes after having a baby, what happens to the relationship?

Becoming parents changes everything, including intimacy. In this episode, John Kim explores what happens when a new father feels disconnected while a new mother is navigating recovery, exhaustion, and the demands of caring for a newborn. He shares his own experience and explains why protecting the relationship is more important than trying to get back to "normal."

In this episode:

• Why intimacy often changes after having a baby

• How empathy can replace resentment during the postpartum season

• What it means to redefine sex, connection, and partnership

• Why building a full life beyond sex matters for new fathers

• How honest communication helps couples navigate this major transition

• Why protecting the relationship creates space for intimacy to return

If this episode resonates with you or someone you know who is navigating life after having a baby, share it with them. Follow the podcast for more conversations on relationships, growth, and emotional health.

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the promises we make in love are setting us up to fail?

In this episode, John Kim is joined by his wife, Vanessa Bennett, to explore how redefining the promises we make in relationships could change the way we love. Instead of focusing on "forever," they discuss commitments rooted in personal growth, accountability, respect, and the willingness to keep doing the inner work, even when relationships evolve or come to an end.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• Why "forever" may not be the healthiest relationship promise

• How unspoken agreements contribute to betrayal and resentment

• The importance of owning your own patterns and projections

• Why love requires growth instead of staying the same

• What it means to create corrective love experiences

• How new promises can lead to healthier relationships

If this conversation resonated with you, follow the podcast, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help others discover the show.

🔗 Resources & Links

👉 Apply to Inner Compass Academy: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy

👉 Follow Vanessa on Instagram @vanessasbennett

👉 Author of “The Motherhood Myth” Buy the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Motherhood-Myth-Reimagining-Expectations-Partnership/dp/1649633416

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Curious about psychedelic medicine but unsure what it actually does? In this conversation, John Kim sits down with Sarah Williams to explore how medicines like MDMA and psilocybin can support healing, self-discovery, and personal growth when approached with intention, safety, and integration.

Sarah shares her journey from her first ayahuasca experience to becoming a medicine guide, including the near-death experience on Denali that changed the course of her life. Together, they unpack why medicine isn't a shortcut to transformation, but a tool that can help people reconnect with themselves and create lasting change.

In this episode:

• Sarah's path into medicine work and what drew her to MDMA

• Why integration matters more than expecting one ceremony to change your life

• The lessons Sarah learned after surviving a life-threatening experience on Denali

• How MDMA can help people access difficult emotions and conversations

• The differences between macrodosing and microdosing

• Why intention, safety, and the right support are essential

John and Sarah also share details about their upcoming two-month microdosing program which you can find out about HERE

Connect with Sarah:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sarahskyann

Website: https://www.terraalinea.com

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest HERE

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers your questions about toxic relationships, emotional unavailability, sexting in committed relationships, why it's so hard to leave someone who hurts you, and the difference between being in love and being "in lost."

He also shares practical advice on building self-trust, redefining what makes a good day, and what healthy masculinity looks like.

Whether you're questioning your relationship, struggling to let go, or trying to build a healthier life, this episode offers honest reflections and practical perspectives to help you move forward.

In this episode, John discusses:

• What to do if you discover your partner is sexting other people.
• How your partner's response after being confronted reveals everything.
• The difference between being in love and being "in lost."
• Why toxic relationships can feel impossible to leave.
• Emotional availability as the foundation of healthy relationships.
• Why both partners must do the inner work.
• How childhood experiences shape relationship patterns.
• One simple mindset shift that can improve your daily life.
• Why self-trust matters more than motivation.
• John's current definition of what it means to be a man.

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest HERE

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the love you've been chasing was never meant to stay the same?

In this episode, John Kim shares excerpts from his new book, Love Hard on Purpose, and explores how love evolves as we heal. He reflects on the difference between unhealthy, dopamine-driven relationships and the kind of love that challenges us to grow, repair, and become better versions of ourselves.

In this episode:

• Why love isn't just meant to make us happy, but to help us heal

• The difference between healthy love and unhealthy love

• How we confuse intensity with intimacy

• Why conflict and repair are essential to lasting relationships

• The journey from "drug love" to "medicine love"

• A personal reflection on the "B-sides" of life that quietly shape who we become

If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who could use the reminder that love can be a path to healing.

🎙️ More about John:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest HERE⁠

John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices