The Angry Therapist Podcast
The Angry Therapist
- 19 minutes 51 secondsTherapy Thursdays | Is It Over… Or Worth Saving?
In this episode, I answer your questions about breakups, expired relationships, and finding the courage to choose yourself.
We talk about how to let go when you’re struggling to accept it’s over, how to know if a relationship is worth saving, and what it really takes to leave. I also break down the real stages of a relationship, advice for your first one, and how to slow yourself down while dating.
This one is about self-trust, endings, and learning to stop clinging to what’s already expired.
Let’s get into it.
🎙️ Host Links:
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
26 February 2026, 8:00 am - 18 minutes 51 secondsTurn Your Breakup Into a Breakthrough
A breakup can feel like the end of everything. But what if it’s actually the beginning?
In this episode, John shares a deeply personal reflection on fear, identity, divorce, and what relationships are really meant to do in our lives. Inspired by a nostalgic moment listening to “Borderline” by Madonna, he explores how certain songs — and certain people — instantly transport us back to who we were.
John challenges the idea that you were supposed to be the hero in someone’s life. Maybe you were the bridge. And maybe they were a bridge for you.
He dives into:
• Why some relationships are meant to expire
• The truth about closure (and why it’s ongoing)
• How to stop outsourcing your worth to a partner
• The powerful question: Who am I without them?
• The difference between your pseudo self and solid self
• Why endings are not the opposite of beginnings
If you’re going through a breakup — or still carrying residue from one — this episode reframes the pain as instruction. Profound pain carries profound growth.
Breakups don’t just take something from you. They expose you to yourself.
Key Takeaway
Instead of asking why it ended, ask:
What was I outsourcing in this relationship that I now need to own?
That question alone can change everything.
Cultural Note
This episode references the song “Borderline” by Madonna as part of a personal reflection. All rights to the song belong to the respective copyright holders.
🎙️ Host Links:
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
25 February 2026, 8:00 am - 22 minutes 21 seconds7 Truths That Transform How You Love
Are you tired of just surviving your past, feeling like old wounds dictate your present?
Imagine a life where emotional freedom isn't just a dream, but a daily reality. This video isn't about quick fixes; it's about the radical, yet gentle power of consistent habits to transform your deepest hurts into your greatest strengths.
🎙️ Host Links:
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
23 February 2026, 8:00 am - 18 minutes 27 secondsWhy You Feel Empty Even When You’re Doing Everything Right
What if the thing shaping almost every decision you make is happening quietly — without you realizing it?
John breaks down a powerful idea from psychologist and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman: there are two selves at play — the experiencing self (who lives life moment-to-moment) and the remembering self (who tells the story and makes most decisions).
When those two don’t agree, you can end up living a life that looks “right” on paper… but still feels empty inside.
MENTIONED / LINKS (Daniel Kahneman – Nobel Prize)
Nobel Prize profile (2002, Economic Sciences): https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/economic-sciences/2002/kahneman/facts/
Daniel Kahneman (Wikipedia): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Kahneman
Thinking, Fast and Slow (book): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinking,_Fast_and_Slow
PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS (2-QUESTION FILTER)
Before a major decision (work, love, moves, commitments), ask:
- “How does this feel in my body right now?”
- “When you look back on this in 5 years, will I be glad I did it?”
🎙️ Host Links:
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
18 February 2026, 8:00 am - 38 minutes 12 secondsThe Love You Crave vs. The Love That Lasts
In this episode, John sits down with therapist Taune for a wide-ranging, honest conversation about the love lessons that shaped them — and the patterns many of us keep repeating without realizing it.
They explore how chemistry can masquerade as care, why intensity often feels familiar even when it’s unhealthy, and how relationships quietly shift when attraction turns into caretaking. Along the way, they unpack trauma bonding, attunement, playfulness, power dynamics, and what it really takes to sustain intimacy over time.
This is not a neat, list-driven episode. It’s a real conversation — the long way home — filled with reflection, humor, and uncomfortable truths about love, relationships, and self-abandonment.
🔗 Guest Links:
IG https://www.instagram.com/taunelyons
Substack: https://www.comingtooursenses.substack.com
Website: https://www.taunelyons.com
🎙️ Host Links:
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
16 February 2026, 8:00 am - 18 minutes 36 secondsHard Things to Bring Up in Therapy | Boundaries, Breakups & Boredom
In this episode, John answers listener questions about breakups, emotional cheating, boredom in relationships, scarcity mindset, defensiveness, and what it really means to compromise without abandoning yourself.
Why is it harder to let go when things ended “well”? Is emotional cheating still cheating? When do needs become “demands”? And how much space is too much space for an avoidant partner?
This episode is about self-respect, emotional safety, and learning how to stay connected without losing yourself.
We explore:
- Running into an ex and how to handle it
- Letting go after a breakup (especially when it ends abruptly)
- Scarcity vs. abundance in dating
- Emotional cheating and betrayal
- Compromise vs. self-abandonment
- Defensiveness and where it comes from
- Boredom in relationships
- Giving avoidant partners space
- Conflict over household structure
If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re asking for too much — or settling for too little — this one’s for you.
🎙️ Host Links:
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
12 February 2026, 8:00 am - 18 minutes 42 secondsThe Stages of Love (From Fantasy to Real Connection)
Love doesn’t disappear - it changes.
In this episode, John Kim explores the stages of love, from early fantasy to real connection. If you’ve ever questioned the spark, the shift, or the “middle” of a relationship, this will help you understand what’s normal, what’s real, and what’s worth building.
This is a conversation about choosing depth over fantasy - and learning what real love actually asks of us.
🎙️ Host Links:
Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica.
More information: HERE
Sign up HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
11 February 2026, 8:00 am - 34 minutes 8 secondsWhat Changes After 40: Love, Selfhood, and What Matters
John sits down in Costa Rica (yes, literally in a golf cart) with two therapists — Vanessa Bennett and Madeleine Downey — for a “therapists are humans too” episode built around questions you’d ask in therapy… that end up turning into real-time revelations about identity after 40, emotional safety, and what we stop tolerating once we’ve lived a little.
This conversation lands especially hard if you’re in that season of life where you’re asking: Why doesn’t the old version of me fit anymore? and What do I actually want now — in love, in friendship, in myself?
Inner Compass Academy (Next cohort starts Feb 15, 2026) Apply Here: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy
If you apply, make sure to mention you were referred by The Angry Therapist Podcast - and if you’re approved, you’ll get $100 off.
🔗 Guest Links: Madeleine Downey
Instagram: @madeleinedowney
Substack (It’s Giving Alchemy): https://madeleinedowney.substack.com
Shadow Work Group – Inner Compass Collective: https://inner-compass-collective.circle.so/
Vanessa Bennett
Instagram @vanessasbennett
Apply to Inner Compass Academy: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy
Author of “The Motherhood Myth” Buy the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Motherhood-Myth-Reimagining-Expectations-Partnership/dp/1649633416
🎙️ Host Links:
Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica.
More information: HERE
Sign up HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
9 February 2026, 8:00 am - 18 minutes 30 secondsYou’re Not Losing Desire - You’re Rewiring It
Many people reach a confusing moment in their healing journey: they start dating healthier partners… and suddenly desire feels flat. Calm feels boring. Chemistry disappears.
In this solo episode, John Kim breaks down why this happens - and why it doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with you.If you’ve ever wondered whether you can rewire attraction without forcing yourself into a relationship that doesn’t feel right, this conversation is for you.
🎙️ Host Links:
Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica.
More information: HERE
Sign up HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
4 February 2026, 8:00 am - 38 minutes 36 secondsRelearning How to Feel Joy
What if the hardest part of healing isn’t pain — but joy?
John Kim talks with Dr. MC McDonald about grief, intimacy, self-trust, and the quiet ways we hide when connection feels unsafe. MC shares why joy has been the hardest emotion to let in, and how learning to feel safe again changes everything.
A grounded, human conversation about healing while still figuring it out.
🔗 Guest Links
Dr. MC McDonald
Instagram & TikTok: @mc.phd
Website: https://www.drmcmcdonald.com
🎙️ Host Links:
Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica.
More information: HERE
Sign up HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
2 February 2026, 8:00 am - 20 minutes 15 secondsHARD THINGS TO BRING UP IN THERAPY | Dating, Distance & Letting Go
Some of the hardest questions we bring into therapy aren’t about what happened — they’re about why it hit so deeply.
In this episode, we explore the quiet, uncomfortable moments many people struggle to name:the anxiety between dates, the sudden loss of attraction, the grief that feels bigger than a divorce, and the confusion of wanting connection while needing boundaries.
These aren’t dramatic relationship crises — they’re quiet inner conflicts that many people carry alone. Naming them is often the first step toward clarity, self-respect, and emotional safety.
If any of these questions sound familiar, this episode is for you.
Host Links:
Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica.
More information: HERE
Sign up HERE
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
29 January 2026, 8:00 am - More Episodes? Get the App