In this episode of Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy, we sit down with the questions people are often too afraid to ask out loud — the ones about love, loss, sex, shame, attachment, boredom, longing, and the quiet fear that maybe something is wrong with us.

From wondering why “healthy love” feels boring after toxicity… to grieving a breakup someone else moved on from too quickly… to asking how often long-term couples should be intimate… to questioning why we attract emotionally unavailable partners… to the messy, human moments around sex, desire, loneliness, and readiness.

These are the things we carry alone. This episode sets them down in the open.

Why This Episode Matters

These aren't just questions — they’re emotional crossroads.
Most people bring them into therapy last, if ever.
But naming them is the beginning of healing, clarity, and choosing differently.

Perfect For You If…

• You’re in a season of confusion about love or relationships
• You’re healing from a breakup
• You’re dating but frustrated by your patterns
• You want a healthier relationship with intimacy and connection
• You’re afraid to ask the questions that matter most

Listen Now

Every question in this episode is a doorway. Step through.

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this module, we explore why healthy love can feel unfamiliar — even uncomfortable — when your nervous system is used to chaos or stress. You’ll learn how your brain adapts to emotional environments, why joy can feel out of reach, and how tiny moments of safety can transform your entire relational world.

What you’ll learn:

• Why calm love can initially feel “flat”
• How repetition compulsion shows up in attraction
• The neuroscience behind your default mode network
• Why joy can feel unsafe — and how to rebuild access to it
• How tiny daily joys create enormous emotional change
• The difference between excitement and emotional intensity
• How to build a relationship that feels grounded, stable, and deeply connected

This module is all about expanding your capacity for joy, hope, and relational peace — one small moment at a time.

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available ⁠HERE⁠

Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this module of the video course, we explore why we repeat the same relationship patterns — even when we know they’re not good for us — and how understanding your emotional wiring can shift everything.

You’ll learn:

• Why familiar relationships feel magnetic (even when they hurt)
• How early belonging shapes adult attraction
• The difference between healthy excitement and chaos
• How to navigate triggers with someone instead of alone
• Why healing happens in relationship, not isolation
• How to rewire your patterns with compassion instead of shame

This episode is a reminder that your patterns aren’t failures — they’re information. And once you understand them, you can create the relationships you’ve always deserved.

Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE

The Secure Self course is available HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In Part Two of this powerful conversation, John Kim and Shaka Senghor go even deeper into healing, alignment, and the spiritual mechanics of change.

Shaka opens up about:

• How alignment shapes everything you attract
• What manifestation really is — and what it’s not
• Moving from shame into self-respect
• How imagination kept him alive in solitary confinement
• Daily practices that cultivate grace, joy, and hope
• The mindset shift that frees you from a lifetime of emotional prisons
• Why abundance begins with noticing the smallest moments

This episode is the invitation to your next chapter. A conversation about energy, intention, and the quiet decisions that build a new life.

📘 Get Shaka’s book ‘How to Be Free’ ⁠HERE⁠

📲 Follow Shaka Senghor on Instagram ⁠HERE⁠

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this uplifting and deeply human conversation, John Kim sits with bestselling author and speaker Shaka Senghor to explore healing, forgiveness, purpose, and the power of rewriting your story.

Shaka shares:

• What it meant to write a letter to his mother after decades
• The journey from incarceration to inner transformation
• How forgiveness liberated him more than anger ever could
• What manifestation really means: alignment, intention, and showing up
• How shame, grief, and vulnerability shape our healing
• Why imagination is a life-saving tool
• The surprising gift of human connection — even in solitary confinement

If you need inspiration, hope, or a reminder that change is possible, this episode is for you.

📘 Get Shaka’s book ‘How to Be Free’ HERE

📲 Follow Shaka Senghor on Instagram HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, we explore the questions people are often afraid to ask out loud — the confusing, intimate, and deeply human moments that shape our relationships. From wondering if you’ve ever truly been in love, to navigating sticky boundaries, to deciding whether to stay or leave… we’re going there.

We grouped your questions into three core themes to make the conversation grounded, digestible, and honest.

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is an excerpt from our video course module on understanding trauma and the nervous system.

In it, we break down trauma in a way that finally makes sense.

You’ll learn why trauma isn’t about the “big event,” but about unbearable emotional experiences without a relational home — and why your brain responds exactly the way it does.

Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode brings together members of John Kim’s Single on Purpose coaching team for an unfiltered, deeply human conversation about what happened when the SOP community was suddenly closed.

These are therapists, coaches, and facilitators — doing therapy on each other — exploring the activation, the grief, the meaning, and the unexpected wounds that surfaced.

You’ll hear them talk about:

• What SOP meant to them personally and professionally
• The abrupt ending and why it hit so hard
• Abandonment wounds, leadership, and rupture-repair
• The magic of the community they built together
• Why therapists are human, vulnerable, and messy too
• What they’re taking with them into the next chapter

Whether you were part of SOP, or you’re experiencing your own ending, transition, or rupture — this conversation will land.

CONNECT WITH THE COACHES:

Sean Cardinalli

Instagram: @seancardinalli https://www.instagram.com/seancardinalli/

Medium: https://seancardinalli.medium.com/

Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/1388439

Linktree: https://campsite.to/seancardinalli

Mikey Brackett

Instagram: @mikey.brackett

Email: [email protected]

Therapy website: https://mikeybtherapy.com

Coaching website: https://mikeybrackett.com

Madeleine Downey

IG (info/coaching/counselling): @madeleinedowney

Substack: https://madeleinedowney.substack.com (It’s Giving Alchemy)

Shadow Work Group – Inner Compass Collective:

https://inner-compass-collective.circle.so/

Email: [email protected]

Amy Brown

Website: AmyBrown.Online

IG: CoachingWithAmyBrown

Email: [email protected]

Taune Lyons

Taunelyons.com - therapy & somatic experiencing

 Comingtooursenses.substack.com 

Coming to our senses podcast - Spotify & apple

IG: Taunelyons 

Inner compass academy for classes on depth and somatic inner parenting

[email protected]

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here. https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this module of the video course, we explore what really happens inside relationships when two people are trying — and struggling — to grow.

We talk about emotional language, repair, anger, shutdown, nervous-system responses, and what it means to feel safe with someone for the first time.

Whether you’re navigating conflict, trying to understand your partner better, or learning how to show up with more emotional maturity… this episode will help you understand what’s underneath the reactions you keep getting stuck in.

LINKS:

🔗 Secure Self Video Course — transform how you communicate, repair, and connect HERE

👉 Apply to Inner Compass Academy HERE

👉 Follow Vanessa on Instagram HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this raw, unfiltered reflection, John shares the real story behind going rogue as a therapist — from coffee-shop sessions to walk-and-talks, to breaking every rule therapy school ever taught him.

He explores the lifelong pattern of exchanging truth for membership, the fear of being seen, and the moment one client validated everything he was terrified to try.

This episode dives into authenticity, boundaries, regret, responsibility, and what it really means to help people while staying human yourself.

Key Themes & Takeaways:

• Why authenticity often feels like rebellion
• The moment validation becomes a catalyst
• The battle between honesty and belonging
• The emotional cost of doing therapy differently
• The blurry line between helping and harming
• The evolving role of therapists in a social media world
• Why growth is abstract, nonlinear, and deeply personal

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today’s Q&A, we get into the real questions people ask when they’re standing at the edge of a relationship crossroads. When you’re torn between fear and intuition… when the attraction feels off… when you’re trying to communicate your way through a situationship… when you’re healing but also craving connection… when you don’t know if you’re choosing someone, settling for someone, or staying because it feels safer than leaving.

These are the moments where the truth gets loud — if you’re willing to listen.

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices