Acclaimed author Joseph Earl Thomas spent much of his childhood watching everyone around him, trying to figure out where he belonged. He grew up attending public school in Philadelphia and constantly scanned the classrooms and hallways to avoid being beaten up by bigger, stronger boys. And throughout his adolescence Thomas was always trying to figure out what a man is and what a man isn’t. Then he realized that he shouldn’t even bother with those expectations.

On this episode of Paternal, Thomas recounts what life was like growing in the Philadelphia neighborhood of Frankford, what he learned about violence and vulnerability from his grandfather, his own anxieties as a parent to four kids, and why he’s reluctant to say his life story fits “the hero-story narrative thing” of Black kids finding success in America. Thomas is the author of the 2023 memoir Sink, which was dubbed “an extraordinary memoir of Black American boyhood” by the New York Times.

Thomas’ memoir Sink and his 2024 novel God Bless You, Otis Spunkmeyer are available wherever you buy books.

Authoritarian parents. Permissive parents. Disengaged parents. Lighthouse parents. How would you describe the parents you had as a kid and, more importantly, what type are you now that you’re a parent? The answer could speak volumes about how you interact with your kids when it comes to the rules of the house, how to build resilience, and how much you value expressing emotions. And it will likely determine just how strong the bond is between you and your kids for the rest of their lives.

On this episode of Paternal, Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg -  a pediatrician specializing in Adolescent Medicine at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and a Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine - breaks down the different styles of parenting and which one consistently yields the best results for children. He also discusses a pair of challenges often echoed by fathers on Paternal - how to honor your kids’ emotions instead of shutting them down, and why it’s crucial to show yourself some grace in front of your kids. 

Dr. Ginsburg is the author of three books on parenting including Lighthouse Parenting, available wherever you buy books beginning March 18.

Meet Frank. He’s a 62 year-old father of four grown kids, and grandfather to seven grandchildren. Back in the summer of 2017, Frank decided to leave his home in San Diego and spend a week in Denver with his son Tommy, but it was no ordinary trip. 

Tommy is a homeless drug addict who lives in and around Civic Center Park in Denver, and he needs help. But can a committed father really change the course of life for his son, who’s caught in the deadliest drug crisis in American history? On this 2018 episode that is the most downloaded episode in Paternal history, Frank recounts the signs that may have foretold a troubled future for his son, and recounts his experience of living homeless in vivid detail, with endless empathy for his son and his battle against addiction. 

Special thanks on this episode to Chris Conner and Denver’s Road Home, and Denver Human Services. Special thanks also to Pastor Jerry Herships of Denver. This episode includes a 2025 update on Frank and Tommy, and Frank’s memoir, Living in the Streets: A Father's Firsthand Account of His Son's Desperate Struggle with Drugs, is available on Amazon.

Bruce Oake didn’t speak until the age of two, but once he started, he never stopped. A precocious kid with boundless energy growing up in Winnipeg, Oake was an amateur boxer as a teenager and a talented hip hop artist who adored the ragged, tough guy aura of some of his musical heroes. But by his mid-20s Bruce was firmly caught up in the opioid epidemic and struggling to find a way to get clean, leaving his parents to wonder what they could possibly do to help their son.

On this episode of Paternal, Scott Oake looks back on the life and death of his eldest son, and reflects on if he could have done anything differently as a father. He also discusses the idea of addiction as a health issue versus a moral issue, misconceptions about rehabilitation centers, and how a recovery center built in Bruce Oake’s memory gives dozens of men the chance to heal.

Scott Oake is an award-winning sports broadcaster who has contributed to “Hockey Night in Canada” since 1989. His new memoir For the Love of a Son will be available beginning Jan. 21, wherever you buy books. All proceeds will be donated to the Bruce and Anne Oake Foundation.

Paternal closes out the year with a collection of the best conversations from 2024, curating five of the best segments from the past year into one collection. On this episode, Paternal guests discuss a variety of topics, including why Evangelicals and young men flocked to Donald Trump during the presidential election, why black boys need love stories too, the role the gym plays for men as they deal with issues of grief and addiction, and why anxiety and anger are so prevelant for some men heading into the new year.

Guests on this episode of Paternal include author and The Atlantic journalist Tim Alberta, award-winning author Jason Reynolds, New York Times journalist John Branch, music critic and powerlifter Michael Andor Brodeur, and CNN political commentator and attorney Bakari Sellers. Stay tuned for all new episodes of Paternal in 2025.

When David Robertson discovered a mouse living in his minivan years ago, he knew it meant trouble. But what happened next - six weeks of Googling for information about mice, the viruses they carry, and the chances he might die from catching such an illness - was more than something a simple mousetrap could handle. It was indicative of the challenges Robertson faces every day, living with anxiety.

On this episode of Paternal, Robertson discusses all the ways that anxiety has affected his life as an award-winning author and a husband and father of five kids. He also reflects on what role masculinity played in him hiding the seriousness of his mental health issues, his thoughts on group therapy and medication, and why he’s chosen to use his platform to openly address mental health.

Robertson is the author of the new memoir All the Little Monsters, which will be available Jan. 21 wherever you buy books.

Sixteen years ago, novelist Charles Bock was the kind of guy who would never, ever want to appear on a podcast about fatherhood. He was single and living in New York City as an aspiring writer aching to finish his first novel and somehow get it published. He had no real desire to become a father, and he knew he was too immature to become anyone’s dad. And then he met Diana.

On this episode of Paternal, Bock discusses what happens when a man reluctantly becomes a father, and then faces a life-altering sequence of events that leaves him largely on his own to raise his daughter. He also recounts how he balanced grieving his wife's death and full-time caregiver responsibilities, all while his friends questioned if he was up to the task and the mothers in the preschool pickup line kept a safe distance from a father clearly in over his head.

Bock’s memoir I Will Do Better is available now wherever you buy books.

Four years after the worst of the COVID pandemic, is it really possible that America is still trapped in an epidemic of loneliness and isolation? Many of the nation’s experts believe it’s true, so much so that U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released a report last year asserting the mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. And the crisis is disproportionately affecting men and young people, leaving many Americans searching for community and a sense of belonging.

On this episode of Paternal, Harvard Medical School faculty member, philosopher and father Ian Marcus Corbin discusses the value of maintaining a connection to our communities and developing a clear purpose in life. He also discusses why our society’s commitment to individualism and simple conveniences can make it tougher than ever to avoid feeling lonely, and why young people are struggling to feel like they have agency over their lives.

In one of the tightest presidential elections in U.S. history, is it possible that thousands of disaffected young men might be the ones casting the deciding votes? Donald Trump certainly thinks it’s a possibility, and the former president has made a concerted effort to court these Gen Z men through interviews with a constellation of podcast and YouTube stars of the Manoverse. But what’s really driving these men to turn out for Trump, and will the strategy work?

On this episode of Paternal, Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter John Branch discusses what he learned from speaking with a variety of Gen Z men who have latched onto Trump as their savior. He also breaks down how the Trump campaign has attempted to define their candidate as the ultimate male superhero while attacking Democratic Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz, bringing different definitions of masculinity to the forefront of the presidential election. Branch is a longtime reporter for the New York Times, and wrote the article “Donald Trump Courts the Manoverse” earlier this year.

Over the past 10 years, Jason Reynolds has become one of the most prolific and celebrated writers working today. He writes for a young audience that he believes is ready to think about and discuss the hard things in life, and he recently added a MacArthur Genius Grant to his collection of awards earned for depicting the rich inner lives of kids of color, ensuring that they see themselves and their communities in literature.

But in his latest book, Reynolds is writing for the first time about boys’ emotions and questions surrounding sex and intimacy. And he’s also thinking about why no one ever asks boys or men about their complex interior lives when it comes to these  essential subjects. On this episode of Paternal, Reynolds discusses writing a love story for black boys, what he learned from his father about facing tough challenges in life, and how his father taught him to live a complete life, even on his deathbed.

Reynolds’ new book Twenty-Four Seconds from Now… is available wherever you buy books.

Gary Vider is the son of a con man. His father Manny ran a series of schemes in and around New York City for years while Gary was growing up, including dozens of times when father and son conned their way into Madison Square Garden while posing as media members for Sports Illustrated for Kids. Gary met some of the biggest names in sports -  John Elway, Mario Lemieux, and even Michael Jordan - all because Manny had what all good con artists have: The ability to ignore all the possible consequences of his actions. “Most people can’t do it,” Gary says, “but my dad was the master.”

But what happens when those actions destroy a family, and leave a son isolated from his father for almost 25 years? On this episode of Paternal, Gary looks back on growing up with a con man for a father, what he learned by trying to reconnect with his dad decades later, and why it took becoming a father himself to question what he really knew or believed about his own dad.

Gary Vider is the host of the podcast #1 Dad.