Paternal

Paternal

Paternal is a show for anyone who's ever been a father or wondered about dad. Created and hosted by Nick Firchau, a longtime journalist and podcast producer, Paternal offers candid and in-depth conversations with great men who are quietly forging new paths. Listen as our diverse and thoughtful guests – a world-renowned soccer star in San Diego, an Oglala Sioux elder in South Dakota, a New York Knicks barber in Queens, a pioneering rock DJ in Seattle and many more - discuss the models of manhood that were passed down to them, and how they're redefining those models as they become fathers themselves.

  • 40 minutes 4 seconds
    #129 Christopher Blackwell: How A Prison ‘Heal Circle’ Helps Incarcerated Men

    Christopher Blackwell has been a lot of things in his life. As a young boy he was a son longing to connect with his father over classic cars and football. As a teenager he was an insecure class clown, and then a dropout. In his 20s he was a drug dealer living in survival mode in a neighborhood riddled with crime and violence. And now he’s an inmate in the Washington Corrections Center, serving a 45-year prison sentence for robbery and murder.

    But Blackwell is also an award-winning journalist, the co-founder of a non-profit organization focused on prison reform, a mentor to other inmates, and a husband. On this episode of Paternal, Blackwell reflects on how growing up without community and positive male role models led to a tragic robbery gone wrong, and how he’s transformed himself thanks to prison’s “heal circle,” where inmates share their stories and discover a sense of honesty and camaraderie they never had as young men. Blackwell is the co-founder of Look2Justice, a grassroots organization led by criminal legal system-impacted people that works to transform the legal system by providing civic education and empowerment programs for incarcerated people and their loved ones. His first book, Ending Isolation: The Case Against Solitary Confinement, is available for pre-order now.

    24 April 2025, 4:00 am
  • 27 minutes 6 seconds
    #128 Austin Davis: A Young Father Forges the Future of Pennsylvania Politics

    Austin Davis was just a teenager when the trajectory of his life changed forever. A fatal shooting rattled his neighborhood in the working class Pennsylvania town of McKeesport, and spurred him to attend a city council meeting of all white officials who were skeptical of the concerned Black teenager raising his voice. “ The people closest to the pain should be closest to the power,” Davis says. “ I had a stake in that community just as much as they did as somebody who lived there and grew up there, and I wanted to make it a better place.”

    Nearly two decades later Davis was elected the Lieutenant Governor of Pennsylvania, becoming the first African American to ever hold the office and the youngest Lieutenant Governor in the United States. On this episode of Paternal, Davis recounts how the son of a bus driver and hairdresser rose to one of the most powerful positions in Pennsylvania, why becoming a father helped him focus his energy on fixing the state’s childcare problem, and where he finds hope for the future despite extreme partisanship and vitriol among today’s politicians.

    9 April 2025, 5:00 am
  • 36 minutes 29 seconds
    #127 Jake Tapper: Leadership and Vulnerability (2023)

    Jake Tapper has been a leading figure in American media for more than a decade, serving as the chief DC anchor at CNN, the host of the network’s weekday show “The Lead with Jake Tapper,” and the co-host of the Sunday public-affairs show, “State of the Union.” During that time he’s interviewed some of the most consequential and controversial figures in American politics, and in the process learned a few things about why powerful men are so reluctant to admit when they’re wrong, and what it costs them in the end. On this 2023 episode of Paternal, Tapper discusses how he balanced a high-powered career in journalism with a life as a father of two children, how his own father influenced his upbringing in Philadelphia, and the traits that make a successful leader. Tapper’s new book, All the Demons Are Here, is available wherever you buy books.

    26 March 2025, 5:00 am
  • 33 minutes 30 seconds
    #126 Paternal Workshop: Why It’s Hard For Men To Say “I’m Sorry”

    Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the latest in a series of special episodes, this time to discuss a subject that a number of past guests have brought up over the years: Grace and self-compassion. He examines why some men hold themselves to impossible standards when it comes to work, relationships and parenting, and why the inability to forgive yourself is connected to the ability to apologize to others, and actually mean it.

    Dr. Addis is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He also provides personal coaching and consultation for men at www.incontextcoaching.com.

    13 March 2025, 5:00 am
  • 30 minutes 24 seconds
    #125 Joseph Earl Thomas: Fatherhood, Regardless of Your Expectations

    Acclaimed author Joseph Earl Thomas spent much of his childhood watching everyone around him, trying to figure out where he belonged. He grew up attending public school in Philadelphia and constantly scanned the classrooms and hallways to avoid being beaten up by bigger, stronger boys. And throughout his adolescence Thomas was always trying to figure out what a man is and what a man isn’t. Then he realized that he shouldn’t even bother with those expectations.

    On this episode of Paternal, Thomas recounts what life was like growing in the Philadelphia neighborhood of Frankford, what he learned about violence and vulnerability from his grandfather, his own anxieties as a parent to four kids, and why he’s reluctant to say his life story fits “the hero-story narrative thing” of Black kids finding success in America. Thomas is the author of the 2023 memoir Sink, which was dubbed “an extraordinary memoir of Black American boyhood” by the New York Times.

    Thomas’ memoir Sink and his 2024 novel God Bless You, Otis Spunkmeyer are available wherever you buy books.

    27 February 2025, 5:05 am
  • 38 minutes 45 seconds
    #124 Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg: What Type Of Parent Are You?

    Authoritarian parents. Permissive parents. Disengaged parents. Lighthouse parents. How would you describe the parents you had as a kid and, more importantly, what type are you now that you’re a parent? The answer could speak volumes about how you interact with your kids when it comes to the rules of the house, how to build resilience, and how much you value expressing emotions. And it will likely determine just how strong the bond is between you and your kids for the rest of their lives.

    On this episode of Paternal, Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg -  a pediatrician specializing in Adolescent Medicine at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and a Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine - breaks down the different styles of parenting and which one consistently yields the best results for children. He also discusses a pair of challenges often echoed by fathers on Paternal - how to honor your kids’ emotions instead of shutting them down, and why it’s crucial to show yourself some grace in front of your kids. 

    Dr. Ginsburg is the author of three books on parenting including Lighthouse Parenting, available wherever you buy books beginning March 18.

    13 February 2025, 6:00 am
  • 47 minutes 25 seconds
    #123 Frank: A Father’s Week Of Life On The Street (2018)

    Meet Frank. He’s a 62 year-old father of four grown kids, and grandfather to seven grandchildren. Back in the summer of 2017, Frank decided to leave his home in San Diego and spend a week in Denver with his son Tommy, but it was no ordinary trip. 

    Tommy is a homeless drug addict who lives in and around Civic Center Park in Denver, and he needs help. But can a committed father really change the course of life for his son, who’s caught in the deadliest drug crisis in American history? On this 2018 episode that is the most downloaded episode in Paternal history, Frank recounts the signs that may have foretold a troubled future for his son, and recounts his experience of living homeless in vivid detail, with endless empathy for his son and his battle against addiction. 

    Special thanks on this episode to Chris Conner and Denver’s Road Home, and Denver Human Services. Special thanks also to Pastor Jerry Herships of Denver. This episode includes a 2025 update on Frank and Tommy, and Frank’s memoir, Living in the Streets: A Father's Firsthand Account of His Son's Desperate Struggle with Drugs, is available on Amazon.

    29 January 2025, 6:00 am
  • 33 minutes 9 seconds
    #122 Scott Oake: The Perfect Place To Heal

    Bruce Oake didn’t speak until the age of two, but once he started, he never stopped. A precocious kid with boundless energy growing up in Winnipeg, Oake was an amateur boxer as a teenager and a talented hip hop artist who adored the ragged, tough guy aura of some of his musical heroes. But by his mid-20s Bruce was firmly caught up in the opioid epidemic and struggling to find a way to get clean, leaving his parents to wonder what they could possibly do to help their son.

    On this episode of Paternal, Scott Oake looks back on the life and death of his eldest son, and reflects on if he could have done anything differently as a father. He also discusses the idea of addiction as a health issue versus a moral issue, misconceptions about rehabilitation centers, and how a recovery center built in Bruce Oake’s memory gives dozens of men the chance to heal.

    Scott Oake is an award-winning sports broadcaster who has contributed to “Hockey Night in Canada” since 1989. His new memoir For the Love of a Son will be available beginning Jan. 21, wherever you buy books. All proceeds will be donated to the Bruce and Anne Oake Foundation.

    15 January 2025, 5:12 pm
  • 1 hour 20 seconds
    #121 Best of 2024: Conversations of the Year

    Paternal closes out the year with a collection of the best conversations from 2024, curating five of the best segments from the past year into one collection. On this episode, Paternal guests discuss a variety of topics, including why Evangelicals and young men flocked to Donald Trump during the presidential election, why black boys need love stories too, the role the gym plays for men as they deal with issues of grief and addiction, and why anxiety and anger are so prevelant for some men heading into the new year.

    Guests on this episode of Paternal include author and The Atlantic journalist Tim Alberta, award-winning author Jason Reynolds, New York Times journalist John Branch, music critic and powerlifter Michael Andor Brodeur, and CNN political commentator and attorney Bakari Sellers. Stay tuned for all new episodes of Paternal in 2025.

    2 January 2025, 7:00 am
  • 36 minutes 5 seconds
    #120 David Robertson: Learning To Live With Anxiety

    When David Robertson discovered a mouse living in his minivan years ago, he knew it meant trouble. But what happened next - six weeks of Googling for information about mice, the viruses they carry, and the chances he might die from catching such an illness - was more than something a simple mousetrap could handle. It was indicative of the challenges Robertson faces every day, living with anxiety.

    On this episode of Paternal, Robertson discusses all the ways that anxiety has affected his life as an award-winning author and a husband and father of five kids. He also reflects on what role masculinity played in him hiding the seriousness of his mental health issues, his thoughts on group therapy and medication, and why he’s chosen to use his platform to openly address mental health.

    Robertson is the author of the new memoir All the Little Monsters, which will be available Jan. 21 wherever you buy books.

    19 December 2024, 6:00 am
  • 27 minutes 44 seconds
    #119 Charles Bock: A Man In Over His Head

    Sixteen years ago, novelist Charles Bock was the kind of guy who would never, ever want to appear on a podcast about fatherhood. He was single and living in New York City as an aspiring writer aching to finish his first novel and somehow get it published. He had no real desire to become a father, and he knew he was too immature to become anyone’s dad. And then he met Diana.

    On this episode of Paternal, Bock discusses what happens when a man reluctantly becomes a father, and then faces a life-altering sequence of events that leaves him largely on his own to raise his daughter. He also recounts how he balanced grieving his wife's death and full-time caregiver responsibilities, all while his friends questioned if he was up to the task and the mothers in the preschool pickup line kept a safe distance from a father clearly in over his head.

    Bock’s memoir I Will Do Better is available now wherever you buy books.

    5 December 2024, 6:00 am
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