What does it take to stop shaming yourself for drinking again? Sarah and Katie are trying to figure that out. It's easy to say that you need to change through compassion, self-love, and empathy, but putting that into practice is a much different story. Coach Hayley and Coach Cole use their training and their own experiences with drinking again to help Sarah and Katie use curiosity instead of blame and shame.

Sarah discusses:

• Why over 100 days alcohol-free hasn't erased the fear that one bad day could send her back to hair of the dog
• Trusting the tools she's learned instead of the shame and blame she used to reach for first
• Bartending without missing the version of herself who used to drink through her shifts
• The intervention her sister and best friend staged, and why she couldn't hear it at the time

Katie discusses:

• The "why" she keeps circling back to after relapsing months into a daily wine habit
• Reframing withdrawal agitation as her body healing instead of a sign something's wrong
• The 90 percent of her negative thoughts that turn out to be rumination, not fact
• Why being a "fixer" makes it harder to get curious about her own drinking pattern
• And more from both guests…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported.

Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning.

Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Episode links:

nakedmindpath.com

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/stop-shaming-yourself-for-drinking-again-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-939/

Related episodes:

Overcoming the Fear of Drinking Again | Naked Life Story | EP 741 – https://thisnakedmind.com/overcoming-the-fear-of-drinking-again-erins-naked-life-e741/

Progress Over Perfection, Learn to Embrace Self-Compassion | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 730 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-730-coaches-podcast-coach-ellie-with-lauri-m-tina-m/

Overcoming Shame and Embarrassment After Drinking | Reader Question | EP 722 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-722-readers-question-overcoming-shame-and-embarrassment-after-drinking/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by Instant Hydration, Quince, Shopify, Primal Queen, and Hungryroot:

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Six years ago, Payal looked in the mirror the morning after a blackout and finally had enough of herself. She's back on Where Are They Now to talk about how to quit drinking as a mom when mommy wine culture makes it feel normal, and what six years actually built: a dad and two sisters who gave up alcohol right along with her, and two boys who have never once seen their mom drunk. 

Payal and Coach Hayley discuss:

• Growing up believing a drink was the only way to build real confidence, and what she knows now that she didn't then

• The four-pack of small wine bottles hidden at the bottom of the trash, and the mommy wine culture that made it feel normal

• Why she could never just have one, and the single therapist conversation that finally connected the dots

• What it actually looks like to quit drinking as a mom when your spouse still drinks

• Learning how to have fun without alcohol again, after believing for years it wasn't possible

• And more on the "playing the tape forward" trick she still uses today, and finding your own path to alcohol freedom…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Coach Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach trained through the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/ 

Episode links:

Follow Payal on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/payalforstyle/

More on this episode:

Join The Path: nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

Partying and Parenthood | Naked Life Story | EP 461 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-461-naked-life-story-payal/

What If My Marriage Is Dependent On Alcohol? | Reader Question | EP 222 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-222-reader-question-what-if-my-marriage-is-dependent-on-alcohol/

Shifting Mindset for Lasting Change | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | E783 - https://thisnakedmind.com/shifting-beliefs-changing-habits-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e783/ 

Follow on Apple Podcasts:

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by Instant Hydration, Quince, Shopify, Primal Queen, and Hungryroot:

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠

Shopify: Sign up for free trial at ⁠⁠shopify.com/mind⁠⁠

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Learning how to stop feeling left out when you quit drinking starts, for Brenda, with a very specific list: people who can supposedly drink like it's nothing and never seem to pay for it. Kate's experience looks different: a friend in recovery who stopped getting invited to things, and a dinner this weekend she's already rehearsing lines for. Listen as our coaches help Brenda and Kate separate fact from fiction and learn why regular drinkers don’t exist. 

Brenda discusses:

• Why "regular drinkers" turned out to be a myth she was ready to test

• A "party with a price tag," and what that persona actually cost her

• Three years in a weight loss program, and the math she'd never done

• The two rooms Coach Zoe asks her to choose between, and which one she picks

Kate discusses:

• Why she'd rather say "I'm taking a break" than let anyone use the word "problem"

• The word "stigma," and why it fits alcohol in a way it never fit quitting smoking

• The specific tactics for a dinner, a band, and zero big announcements

• The two truths Coach Hayley asks her to hold at the same time

• And more from both guests…

Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Zoe Ewart is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach who brings her experience and understanding to help with the tricky parts of life's big changes. Her coaching gives you an enjoyable, light-hearted, and safe environment to effortlessly take back control of alcohol. 

Learn more about Coach Zoe: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/zoe-ewart/

Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Episode links:

nakedmindpath.com

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/how-to-stop-feeling-left-out-when-you-quit-drinking-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-937/

Related episodes:

Drinking Less in Wine Country | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 740 – https://thisnakedmind.com/drinking-less-in-wine-country-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-740/

Happy Hours, Lonely Nights | Brian's Naked Life | EP 777 – https://thisnakedmind.com/being-fully-present-alcohol-free-e777/

Are There Normal Drinkers? | Reader Question | EP 400 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-400-reader-question-are-there-normal-drinkers/ 

Follow on Apple Podcasts:

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by Instant Hydration, Quince, Shopify, Primal Queen, and Hungryroot:

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/naked⁠

Shopify: Sign up for free trial at ⁠shopify.com/mind⁠

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Trigger Warning: This episode includes mentions of a medical emergency and a homicide.

Sunday morning, and Brenda can't get out of bed. Her head is pounding hard enough that she genuinely believes she might die from it, so she turns over and doesn't get up again until one in the afternoon. She'd been retired for years by then, a daily schedule and routine filled with wine instead, and what she labeled relaxing was really drinking out of boredom. A couple of glasses had turned into a full box, then a bottle most nights, one more way to use up hours a twenty-year police career used to take up on its own. A week later, she threw that box of wine in the trash.

Brenda and Coach Cole discuss:

• Starting the police academy, getting married, and quitting drinking, all in the same month, years apart

• Why retiring in 2013 removed the one thing that had kept her drinking in check

• Naming the voice in her head Dave, and talking back to him out loud in the car

• The pink cloud moment driving home along the lake six weeks after her last drink

• The Sunday morning hangover that convinced her she was dying, and why it became her turning point

• Why she filled her newly empty days with sewing for her local theater and mornings back at the SPCA

• And more on rebuilding her marriage and finally learning to put herself first…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Episode links:

Alcohol Freedom Challenge - https://go.controlalcohollive.com/2026-challenge-registration

More on this episode - https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/drinking-out-of-boredom-brendas-naked-life-ep-936/

Related episodes:

Naked Life Story – Irene | EP 295 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-295-naked-life-story-irene/

Finding Purpose and Direction After Quitting Alcohol | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | E817 – https://thisnakedmind.com/finding-purpose-and-direction-after-quitting-alcohol-e817/

How Do I Overcome the Trigger of Boredom? | Reader Question | EP 32 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-32-reader-question-how-do-i-overcome-the-trigger-of-boredom/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠

Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind

BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind

Trigger warning: This episode contains references to disordered eating and the death of a parent following a medical complication.

“I'm actually on day twenty-six alcohol-free right now, the first time since I was pregnant with my daughter,” Bethany says. Bev has been counting differently: hers started January 13th, and her husband hasn't missed a single one of his own drinking nights since. Bethany and Bev work with Coaches Hayley and Cole on how to quit drinking when your spouse still drinks.

Bethany discusses:

• The exact moment four years ago that changed everything, and the nights she still can't escape it

• Why she calls herself a “cheater” when it comes to quitting, and what she means by it

• The one word she used to describe what alcohol really was to her

• What Coach Hayley asked her about her father, and what Bethany said back

Bev discusses:

• A resentment she didn't know she was carrying, until the alcohol was gone and there was nowhere left to hide it

• Living with a cancer diagnosis that makes quitting drinking a matter of life and death

• The one sentence about her marriage she's never said out loud, not even to her husband

• What Coach Cole told her to do about a husband who won't quit too, and why it wasn't what she expected

• And more…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Episode links:

nakedmindpath.com

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/how-to-quit-drinking-when-your-spouse-still-drinks-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-935/

Related episodes:

I Quit Drinking But My Spouse Has Not, Any Advice? | Reader Question | EP 48 | https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-48-reader-question-i-quit-drinking-but-my-spouse-has-not-any-advice/

How Quitting Drinking Can Improve a Relationship | Gavin's Naked Life | EP 842 | https://thisnakedmind.com/how-quitting-drinking-can-improve-a-relationship-gavins-naked-life-e842/

How To Stop Drinking To Avoid Emotions | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 845 | https://thisnakedmind.com/drinking-to-avoid-emotions-afc-e845/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠

Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind

BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind

Annie Grace grew up in a cabin with no running water, no electricity, and a dad who never drank. A decade later, in a corporate job in New York City, she was pouring close to two bottles of wine a night, buying the boxed kind so nobody would notice when one ran out. In this episode, she sits down with Mike Marshall, CEO of the U.S. Alcohol Policy Alliance, on his podcast The Shift, to talk about what the alcohol industry doesn’t want you to know, and why “drink responsibly” was never really about you.

Annie and Mike discuss:

• Annie’s own story, from a childhood with no drinking in the house to two bottles of wine a night, and the moment that finally stopped her in her tracks
• Why “drink responsibly” sounds helpful but was never really written with the drinker in mind
• What a former alcohol industry executive admitted about targeting the heaviest drinkers, and building the alcopop to hook teenagers
• Why alcohol has carried a carcinogen label for decades, and why most of us never got the memo
• Annie’s “grace first” approach to changing your relationship with alcohol, and why shame just isn’t the answer
• And more on policy, parenting, and what real freedom from alcohol’s grip actually feels like…

Ready to take the next step on your journey?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Episode links:

This Naked Mind: https://thisnakedmind.com

Big Alcohol Wants Your Kids (video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC7ubYky_zM

More on this episode: [full show notes URL — add once this episode is live on thisnakedmind.com]

Related Episodes:

Does Alcohol Advertising Really Work? | Reader Question | EP 184 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-184-does-alcohol-advertising-really-work-2/

Is Drinking In Moderation Possible? | Reader Question | EP 08 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-08-reader-question-moderation-possible/

How to Break Free From Rules Around Drinking | Reader Question | EP 482 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-482-reader-question-how-to-break-free-from-rules-around-drinking/

This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠

Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind

BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind

Why can’t I just have one drink? For Pamela, that question comes from her struggle to moderate her drinking, and for Claude, it sits in her fear of never being able to drink again. Same question but from two very different perspectives. Coaches Cole and Hayley work with Pamela and Claude to discover what sits behind these questions and to find out why one drink never stays one drink for most of us.

Pamela discusses:

• Fifty-three easy days, then a Friday night phone call from friends that flipped the switch

• Why the third night lined up with the anniversary of her ex-husband's death

• Why she uses alcohol to "let go of what's heavy," and what it's really protecting her from

• Coach Cole's question about her daughter that undid six years of believing she had to handle things alone

• Her real commitment for the next time the Ferris wheel comes back around

Claude discusses:

• Why the idea of "never again" feels like free fall and grief, not relief

• Tracing the "glitter" back to cocktails, galas, and a stressful career, and finding it elsewhere

• An experiment with an untouched glass of wine, left behind on an Adirondack chair

• Why a firm 30-day non-negotiable feels lighter than deciding fresh every single day

• The question Coach Hayley keeps circling back to: what if there's no such thing as failure?

• And more…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Episode links:

nakedmindpath.com

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/why-cant-i-just-have-one-drink-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-933/

Related episodes:

How to Control Alcohol Consumption | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 772 – https://thisnakedmind.com/alcohol-freedom-coaching-e772/

How to Stop Daily Drinking | Pierre's Naked Life | EP 790 – https://thisnakedmind.com/how-to-stop-daily-drinking-e790-pierre/

Is Drinking in Moderation Possible? | Reader Question | EP 08 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-08-reader-question-moderation-possible/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠

Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind

BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind

Judd never considered that he would quit drinking before turning forty. After all, for twenty-five years he would pick the idea up and put it down as regularly as if it were his morning coffee. But one day he picked up a receipt for a book he'd bought two years earlier yet never read. Suddenly the countdown was on, and he was no longer willing to keep the idea of quitting drinking before forty on the shelf. It was now time to change.

Judd and Coach Cole discuss:

• How buying The Alcohol Experiment in January 2020 and not reading it for months planted the seed that eventually took hold

• Why turning quitting into a 30-day, then 90-day, then six-month goal made an impossible habit feel achievable

• The moment his now-wife suggested he aim for a year instead of six months, and why he said yes

• How he used the rawness of his first alcohol-free months to write a novel exploring AI, free will, and addiction

• Why naltrexone and other medications raise real questions about free will, even when they work

• What it was like to travel internationally alcohol-free for the first time, from Sydney's hidden NA bar scene to San Juan's early morning joggers

• How realizing most people at parties were not drinking as much as he assumed changed the way he saw every social event

• And more on goal-setting, dating after quitting, and what it really means to find your own path to alcohol freedom…

Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Episode links:

alcoholexperiment.com

More on this episode:

https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/quit-drinking-before-turning-forty-judds-naked-life-ep-932/

Judd's Book - Syncope: https://amzn.to/44Y2964

When you buy something we recommend, we may get an affiliate commission — but it never affects your price or what we pick.  

Related episodes:

Escaping The Hamster Wheel of Drinking | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 847 - http://thisnakedmind.com/why-cant-i-quit-drinking-after-so-many-tries-afc-e847/ 

Beer at 10 – Jim's Story | Naked Life Stories | EP 383 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-383-naked-life-story-jim/ 

Reader Question – What are Naltrexone and The Sinclair Method? | Reader Questions | EP 82 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-82-reader-question-naltrexone-sinclair-method/ 

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠

Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind

BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind

What does it take to figure out how to stop relying on alcohol for confidence? Amy needed eleven months alcohol-free, followed by more stops and starts than a city bus has, to decide something needed to change. For Dee, it was an entire wedding weekend and the fear of being the only one without a drink in her hand that made her realize alcohol was holding way too much headspace for her. Coaches Zoe and Cole help both women discover the confidence that was already inside them all along.

Amy discusses:

Going 30 days alcohol-free, then 11 months, then letting red wine back in "on a limited basis" and watching it unravel

The cognitive dissonance between her morning self and her evening self, and why they actually want the same thing

An ADHD diagnosis at seventeen and a lifelong feeling of being unpredictable to herself

A snowy backyard, a hot tub, and proof that an urge really does pass if you outlast it

Dee discusses:

An entire wedding weekend built around alcohol, and the fear she hadn't said out loud yet

Why a glass of wine became her stand-in for confidence since college

The shift from "I'm not allowed to drink" to "I'm choosing not to," and why that one distinction changed everything

Visualizing the wedding ahead of time, the same way she used to visualize a swim race

And more…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Zoe Ewart is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach who brings her experience and understanding to help with the tricky parts of life's big changes. Her coaching gives you an enjoyable, light-hearted, and safe environment to effortlessly take back control of alcohol. 

Learn more about Coach Zoe: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/zoe-ewart/

Cole Harvey is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. 

Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Episode links:

nakedmindpath.com

More on this episode - https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/how-to-stop-relying-on-alcohol-for-confidence-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-931/

Related episodes:

How Do I Become Socially Confident Without Alcohol? – Reader Question – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-582-readers-question-how-do-i-become-socially-confident-without-alcohol/

Drinking Less in Wine Country – Alcohol Freedom Coaching – https://thisnakedmind.com/drinking-less-in-wine-country-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-740/

Feel Like Yourself Again – Alcohol Freedom Coaching – https://thisnakedmind.com/feel-like-yourself-again-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e756/ 

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠

Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind

BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠

Deb's Naked Life | EP 920

If you're thinking about stopping drinking in your 60s but keep telling yourself you're too old, too set in your habits, or too far gone, Deb's story is the one you need to hear. She was a registered nurse who had directed a hospital addiction recovery program and still didn't see herself in it. She was caring for a dying parent, married to a heavy drinker, and drinking three to four glasses of wine every night before a single book changed the entire frame. She became alcohol-free at 62 and hasn't looked back once.

Deb and Coach Cole discuss:

Growing up alcohol naive, not drinking until her late 20s, and watching it quietly become a nightly habit, she barely chose

Directing a hospital addiction recovery program and still telling herself she wasn't like the patients in it

Reading This Naked Mind cover to cover with wine in hand, crying at the parts that felt like her own story

Stopping drinking while caregiving for her mother with dementia, and finding she could finally be present in those visits

Staying alcohol-free while her husband continued to drink, kept trying to pull her back, and what the honest reckoning that followed looked like

Talking herself out of the This Naked Mind coaching program four years in a row before finally committing at 62, after years of retirement

Why a slip isn't a relapse, it's a data point, and the language of growing and evolving versus changing

And more on curiosity, caregiving, and what it means to build a life you don't want to escape from…

Episode links:

thisnakedmindinstitute.comfullheartcoaching.net

Related episodes:

Self-Awareness Around Alcohol | Dr. Gina Slejko - Naked Life Story | EP 535 — https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-535-naked-life-story-dr-gina-slejko/

I Quit Drinking But My Spouse Has Not — Any Advice? | EP 48 — https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-48-reader-question-i-quit-drinking-but-my-spouse-has-not-any-advice/

Using Alcohol Over 60: Lorna Wilson | EP 418 — https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-418-coaching-questions-with-scott-pinyard/ 

CTA

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⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains references to domestic violence and a mental health crisis.

Who am I without alcohol? Does that question sound eerily familiar? Steph and Nicole both find themselves grappling with that very idea and wondering what the answer will mean for them. Steph is 55, and alcohol has been by her side and has helped define her for most of her adult life.  Nicole looks to alcohol for the answers and to smooth the rough edges, and isn’t sure if she’s capable of being herself with a glass in her hand. Coaches Cole and Hayley help provide guidance and hope in this week’s episode.

Steph discusses:

Why "loss of identity" became the real subject of her coaching call, not just the drinking

The belief that she'd failed herself and her friends, and how that belief kept her stuck

Why chasing a "finished" identity by a deadline backfires

The threshold metaphor, and why stepping into the unknown feels safer than staying somewhere familiar but unwanted

Her plan to resign from teaching by May 1st, and what she's choosing to let go of first

Nicole discusses:

How alcohol became tangled with her identity before she ever turned 21

The seven-year relationship and the night that ended with her in a hospital for three days

November 5, 2025: the day she sat in her car and decided something had to change

Why grace and curiosity did more for her than willpower ever did

What she calls her "2D glasses" moment, and what she sees now that alcohol's gone

And more… 

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more.

Until next week, stay curious!

Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Episode links:

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/who-am-i-without-alcohol-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-929/Join The Path: nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

How To Uncouple Alcohol and Identity | Naked Life Story | EP 549 -https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-549-naked-life-story-andrew/Who Am I Without Wine?: Identity & Sophistication | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | E801 - https://thisnakedmind.com/creating-a-new-identity-after-quitting-drinking-alcohol-freedom-freedom-coaching-e801/Why Do I Feel Detached When I’m Not Drinking? | Reader’s Question | EP 122 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-122-reader-question-feel-detached-im-not-drinking/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠

Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind

BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠