Support the Patreon to mainline Cline before anyone else! You’ll also get to hear our other podcast 280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back on off weeks! https://patreon.com/372pages

Ernest Cline, the founder of our feast here at 372 Pages, is back with another book, Bridge to Bat City. A day after its release, Conor and Mike review the first few chapters, take on some Dumb Sentences, Mike fails at Real or Fanfic and Conor reads some mail.

In other words, despite barely dipping a toe in, it’s a jam packed episode.

Get the big ole beautiful book here: https://amzn.to/3TRVmoL (affiliate link)

Assignment: Read thru Chapter 10

Media:

Cline at Wootstock

The RiffTrax guys at Wootstock

Megamania footage

Alejandro’s 372 character compendium

Thank you to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode a week early, get an entire other podcast you won’t find anywhere else, and learn about the next book before anyone else! You’d have to be a real U-ket to miss out! https://patreon.com/372pages

We end it. The book, that is. Not the world itself. That’s up to the Demon Witches and Monchi. And the humans. And the mages. And Theo. And Jennifer. And Jasmine. And the girls. And the undead Egyptians. And the Nryphons. And the eagles. And the people of Telmar. And the Lords (you know, the ones we hold “the festival” for, even during the very darkest times of war?”) And the ever-present pork – look, we’re all happy this is over.

If you still want to read the book, it’s available here. (affiliate link)

Media:

Picture of the Columbus, OH White Horse Sallon (discovered by Marc)

Various decorative pillow pictures taken by Conor over the years

EDIT: Robert Byrd’s “War!” can be found at the 4:27 mark of this video

Support the Patreon and get every episode a week early, plus access to an entire second podcast, contests, and more! http://patreon.com/372pages

Look, yes, it’s longer than a normal episode. But to answer your question we’re less picky about the typos than we have been for the last three episodes!!

There is in the middle of this reading one of the most insane things that has ever happened in any book. Any book we’ve yet read. Truly.

And for what it’s worth Conor tackles Real or Fanfic this time and whether or not he does better than Mike is neither here nor there, why are you asking? Plus, a new Dumb Sentence song by HAYDEN!

Read along with us, get the book here. (affiliate link)

Assignment: Finish the damn book!

Don’t be a Monchi, support the podcast with a Patreon subscription! https://patreon.com/372pages

Read along with us! Ebook available here. (affiliate link)

Hey, hey! Under three hours, a truly compact episode. But the creatures mentioned continue to get stranger and more macabre: Demons, Gryphons, Nryphons, the Balls (Fire and Sylvia), Clam Woman, Man Mom and Almost Dad.

Plus, listeners continue to absolutely pummel Mike at Real or FanFic. I mean, like a mace-to-his-face pummel, blood everywhere, skull shattered. Happily Zoser was there to make things right.

Also, many, many, many Dumb Sentences featuring a new theme!

ASSIGNMENT: Read thru the chapter “In the third world”

Support the podcast on Patreon! It’s what Sylvia Ball would do.

Look, we can explain – there’s just so much to cover! Every single sentence, every exchange, every plot advancement brings whole new galaxies of madness.

Included in the mighty length of this episode are some Dumb Sentences (along with a new theme!) and see if Mike can improve upon his dismal Real or FanFic score.

Many thanks to listener Jonathan for his Dumb Sentence theme (we will probably debut others as well in the coming weeks.) Thanks, Jonathan!

Get the book here (affiliate link)

READING ASSIGNMENT: Read Chap 5 Messenger of the King

Support the podcast on Patreon to gain our eternal trust and respect! http://patreon.com/372pages

Thus, an epic episode. The, longest, maybe, ever? (just making sure your reading the book…….)

True and utter madness, like nothing we’ve ever read before on 372 Pages. Seriously. It is not hyperbole; this is deranged, and you must read along, if only to prove we’re not going slowly insane.

Get the book here (affiliate link)

Assignment: Read the next two chapters.

Join the 372 Patreon where all the crazy stuff happens! Get every episode a week early, plus our sub-podcast where we try to solve insane Encyclopedia Brown mysteries, and much more! http://patreon.com/372pages

Spoiler: frosting is discussed at some length. As are dreams, and if there’s anything more exciting than hearing about someone else’s dream, I’D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IT IS!!

If you don’t want to listen to the nonsense, you can find the new book here (affiliate link)

Assignment: read up to the chapter titled “The Realm of Eris”

Thanks to everyone who supported the podcast on Patreon this year. We absolutely would not do it if you weren’t there for us. Join the fun next year! http://patreon.com/372pages

We end the year with absolutely blockbuster news. Seriously, a twist so shocking that no cozy writer could ever conceive of it. We won’t spoil it, but we tackle the revelation at the very beginning so be prepared to be stunned.

That aside, this reading is full of hot shoulders, chilled breasts and lots of folksy Uncle Kidd wisdom. Not to mention the solution to the central mystery!

Get the book on kindle and paperback

Get How to Write and Market a Christmas Cozy Mystery here (affiliate links)

T. Lockhaven’s “Resource” page for “writing” your own: https://christmascozymystery.com/resources

Support the podcast on Patreon! By the time this posts, we’ll already have posted the next episode on there! http://patreon.com/372pages

Time to check in with Murphy, Carmen, Ophelia, Uncle Kidd, Marisol, Granddaddy, Aunt Lucy, Aunt Lindy, Darbie Grimes, Darbie Grimes’ mother, three dead husbands killed in an unknown accident, Simon, Lawrence Galloway, Miquel, Douglas, Judge Ed Simpson, Paul Turner, Phyllis Newton, Bailey Fox, Jerry, Mandy, Charles Deever, Dan Stevens, Mrs. Dan Stevens, Dr. Garrett, Melva Brooks, Lorine Reynolds, Pastor Mark Reed, Janet Crosby, Sherriff Ken Grayson, and Walter Green of Sunflower, Texas.

Santa dies, the blood pools around his head, his hair and presumably some flesh are stuck on the bedpost of our narrator and the handsome sheriff is covering up the fact that obviously foul play is involved. In other words, cozy!

READING ASSIGNMENT: Finish the book.

Get the book here (affiliate link)

Support the podcast on Patreon where they found out what this book is a week ago! patreon.com/372pages

In real time, Mike and Conor select their next book – and we guarantee it will be cozy! Select your hugest, fuzziest slippers (preferably cartoon-based), your giant cup of cocoa, we’re talking soup bowl sized with a handle on the side, and get a fire going, anywhere. Even if you don’t have a fireplace.

It’s cozy time!

If you don’t want to listen, you can find the book in paperback and on kindle (affiliate links)

ASSIGNMENT: Read thru Chapter 7

Support the podcast on Patreon! We have a video tier now so you can see us mispronounce things in real time! http://patreon.com/372pages

An absolutely epic end to an epic book. Let’s list them off: giant gorillas, chimpanzees, giant ostriches, gigantic komodo-looking dragons, witch princesses in sheer linen gowns: it’s obvious Larry got a little excited and wrote the end of this one.

No Real or Fanfic; however Mike’s stats on this are discussed. Spoiler alert. They are not good. New book announcement coming very soon.

Here’s Denise’s Moepek rewrite/reimagining that we talk about at the beginning of the show: https://amzn.to/3sNig7b (affiliate link!)