Our phones promise connection, convenience, and access to nearly everything. But what happens when the tool we carry everywhere begins filling every quiet moment, exploiting our unresolved patterns, and gradually taking away our freedom to choose?

Mark Groves returns to the Evolving Man Podcast for a wide-ranging conversation about truth, addiction, technology, and personal sovereignty. Mark shares what it was like to speak publicly during the social division of COVID, the backlash and nervous-system strain that followed, and how he eventually realized that fighting against polarization was pulling him away from his deeper mission of creating connection.

From there, we trace a much longer transformation in Mark’s life. Quitting alcohol revealed sugar, people-pleasing, pornography, social approval, and other subtler vices. Eventually, he recognized that his phone had begun occupying the space once filled by many of those behaviours.

This conversation explores how smartphones and social media exploit our need for belonging, approval, stimulation, and escape. They enter every crack in our lives, eliminate boredom, interrupt our relationships, and make it increasingly difficult to hear ourselves think.

The answer is not to reject technology altogether. It is to develop a more conscious relationship with it. One grounded in boundaries, discernment, accountability, and the freedom to put it down.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• The personal cost of speaking out during COVID
• Moving from freedom fighting toward bridge building
• Repairing relationships without waiting for an apology
• Why Mark quit drinking more than seven years ago
• How removing one vice can reveal the next
• Codependency, people-pleasing, and the fear of not belonging
• Mark’s decision to confront pornography in his marriage
• Why social media can resemble an abusive relationship
• How phones keep the nervous system surveying for danger
• Why boredom is essential for creativity, intuition, and self-connection
• How technology exploits unresolved relational wounds
• Why willpower alone is rarely enough to change phone habits
• Protecting attention, relationships, and childhood from constant screens
• Creating red, yellow, and green zones for technology use
• Reclaiming sovereignty in a world built to capture your attention

This episode is for anyone who has ever reached for their phone without consciously deciding to—or felt that technology was interfering with their focus, sleep, creativity, relationships, or connection to themselves.

Your phone can add extraordinary value to your life. But only when you are the one deciding what kind of relationship you have with it.

CONNECT WITH MARK GROVES

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/itsmarkgroves
@itsmarkgroves

The Mark Groves Podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/show/5se5aQBcki87JV3zo1RYSi?si=c07c0af6917d4c62

Substack:
https://markgroves.substack.com

YouTube:
https://youtube.com/user/markgrovestv

Get Mark’s Digital Detox Kit:
https://link.fgfunnels.com/widget/form/A1Z1U7swAaUZHuJmWM3P?notrack=true

WORK WITH BEN

Learn more about the Freedom From Addiction Circle:
https://freedom.evolvingman.com/freedom-from-addiction-circle

Subscribe to the Evolving Man Podcast and share this episode with someone who is ready to reclaim their attention.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ben sits down with Jason Grechanik - a tabaquero and plant medicine practitioner who spent years apprenticing in the Peruvian Amazon studying the traditional spiritual and medicinal use of tobacco.

Together they explore the surprising role tobacco has played in indigenous healing traditions, the difference between sacred tobacco and commercial cigarettes, and why many traditional cultures considered tobacco one of the most important master plants.

The conversation moves through spirituality, masculinity, addiction, trauma, anxiety, nervous system healing, warrior traditions, direct experience, and the relationship between plants and consciousness.

Jason also shares his personal journey into the world of plant medicine, including his intense initiation into tobacco dietas and what these traditions teach about healing, presence, clarity, and power.

Topics Discussed

• Tobacco as sacred medicine
• The difference between tobacco and cigarettes
• Indigenous and Amazonian healing traditions
• Tobacco dietas and plant apprenticeships
• Masculinity and spiritual initiation
• Anxiety, addiction, and trauma healing
• The difference between medicine and medication
• Why shamans consider tobacco a master plant
• Jiu-jitsu, embodiment, and grounded spirituality
• Direct spiritual experience vs intellectual knowledge

About Jason Grechanik

Jason Grachanik is a tabaquero and plant medicine practitioner who spent years living and apprenticing in the Peruvian Amazon studying traditional healing systems, tobacco work, and master plant dietas.

He now works with people through immersive healing retreats and traditional plant medicine practices rooted in Amazonian traditions.

Links from this episode: 

Jason’s website

Retreats with Jason

Jason's Instagram

The Universe Within - Podcast

Evolving Man’s Freedom From Addiction Circle

The ARKA Talks Podcast

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

With over 25 years of hands-on experience in personal transformation, Stefanos Sifandos works at the intersection of human potential, relational intelligence, and embodied leadership. He is a trained educator and somatic, trauma-informed relationship specialist with a background in behavioral science and philosophy, known for translating deep inner work into grounded, real-world change.

In this episode, we dove deep with Stefanos about the real work that keeps love and connection alive, especially through parenting, marriage, and personal challenges. Stefanos got vulnerable about hitting rock bottom, doing the inner work, and how being radically honest and intentional with yourself and your partner is the ultimate foundation for transformation. If you want insight into lasting love, conscious relationship tools, and parenting, this episode is a must-listen. 

Here are some of the pieces we discuss on this episode:

– How to keep love alive and act with love when your romantic partner is angry or distant
– The challenge of maintaining connection and spark in long-term relationships, especially under stress and obligations
– Stef's personal journey of transformation and inner work
– The impact of becoming a parent: how fatherhood stretches emotional edges and expands capacity for love, grief, and devotion
– Life challenges and awakenings: Stefanos Sifandos's turning point with addiction, infidelity, and facing suicidal thoughts
– The role of surrender and connection in moving through rock-bottom moments
– How shame, worthiness, and self-connection relate to addiction and healing
– The power of speaking the truth and vulnerability in men’s work and relationships
– Recognizing and breaking patterns of trauma bonding in volatile relationships
– When and why it’s healthy to let go of a relationship that’s become too toxic or drama-filled
– The importance of doing inner work: working on yourself to show up better in partnership
– Facing old family patterns, impatience, and imperfection as a partner and parent
– Real talk on the struggles of parenthood: impatience, mistakes, and embracing humanity
– Practicing conscious parenting: modeling humility, self-regulation, and apology to your child
– How a father’s relationship with his daughter informs her view of masculinity and future partnerships
– Making quality time and simple connection a priority in marriage
– Relationship tools: carving out time for intentional sharing, listening, and repair (including the Imago dialogue practice)
– The impact of performative gestures versus simple, consistent acts of care in keeping the spark alive
– How curiosity and presence nurture ongoing intimacy and novelty in partnerships
– The art of holding space, self-regulation, and loving your partner even when you’re the target of their anger
– Embracing imperfection in relationship and family life
– Stef’s new book, Tuned In and Turned On: A Path to True Connection, Deep Healing, and Lasting Love, and how it explores these teachings and practices in greater depth

Links from this episode

Stefanos Sifandos – Tuned In and Turned On - with Book Bonuses

Stef’s Instagram

The Path to Conscious Love program for couples

The Conscious Relationship Council live program for men

The Arka Fire and Flow Men’s Weekend - Feb 26 to March 2nd

Keep an eye out for:

The Arka Talks Podcast – launching Feb 2026 (link to be shared upon release)

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kute Blackson is an author, speaker, and true spiritual visionary. In this episode, we dive deep into discovering your soul's true calling. We talk about Kute’s powerful journey leaving his father's shadow, navigating the unknown with courage, and how real transformation is about shedding old patterns to reveal your authentic self. 

Kute shares how surrendering to life's guidance opens doors you never expected, leading not only to personal success, but deep fulfillment. If you want some deep wisdom on how to “find your purpose”, this episode is rich with inspiration.

In this episode, we dig into:

– Kute Blackson’s inspiring journey as a spiritual visionary, speaker, and author.
– His story of upbringing in Ghana, Japan, and London, and his exposure to miracle work and spirituality from a young age.
– Kute’s early life speaking in his father’s churches and being named as his father’s successor at age 14.
– The internal struggle and courage it took for Kute to break away from his father’s path to follow his own calling.
– Key reflections on a man’s journey with his father and the pivotal coming-of-age moment of “facing the father.”
– Deep discussion on the concept of surrender – what it truly means and its role in personal evolution.
– Debunking common misconceptions about surrender as weakness or passivity.
– The spiritual principles of letting go, un-learning, and uncovering our true essence.
– The dance between intention, action, and surrender – how to tune into your soul’s calling without being overly attached to outcomes.
– The analogy of surrender in life to lovemaking and surfing, highlighting the balance between action and allowing.
– Practical insights on following intuition, even when the path is unclear.
– Kute’s green card “miracle” story and the power of trusting life’s guidance.
– The importance of embracing the “void” or unknown as a necessary space for growth and transformation.
– Kute’s journey to the US and the challenges of building a purpose-driven life from scratch.
– His first attempts at launching a talk show in Hollywood, the attachment to a specific vision, and obedience to deeper spiritual guidance.
– Kute’s transformative pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago and time in India, leading to new breakthroughs.
– The evolution of his work: from coaching one-on-one to leading international retreats and writing bestselling books.
– The vital distinction between laziness and true surrender – aligning with deep personal commitment over fleeting moods.
– The process and importance of generational healing, specifically the powerful healing and reconciliation with his father.
– How healing with his father impacted his own son and future lineage (“the generational wealth of consciousness”).
– The value of men’s groups and real stories in fostering true change and support.
– How Kute embodies and teaches deep listening, surrender, and walking the unknown path.

Links from this episode:

Kute Blackson’s Website
Kute’s Book: You Are The One
Kute’s Book: The Magic of Surrender
Soul Talk with Kute Blackson (Podcast)
8 Levels of Gratitude (Free Online Course)

Evolving Man’s Conscious Relationship Council

The Freedom From Addiction Circle

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Devin Frederickson is a men’s coach, permaculturalist, and close friend of mine from Maui, Hawaii. He joins me on the show to share the most impactful stories, tools, and insights he has gained throughout his life thus far. We cover a wide breadth of subjects on this show, from Devin’s near-death experience to healing addiction, along with a peek at fatherhood as Devin prepares for his first child. 

Here’s what you’ll discover in this conversation:

A Near-Death Experience That Changed Everything - Devin shares his vivid story of a near-fatal accidental MDMA overdose in his early 20s. This was his spiritual wake-up call. Hear how this out-of-body journey made him rethink his entire approach to life, health, and responsibility—and why gratitude is now at the core of his daily practice.

The Lifelong Power of Men’s Mentorship - Both Devin and I open up about the pivotal mentors in our lives—the wise men who showed up without judgment and offered guidance when we needed it most. Devin describes how chance encounters with older men in the permaculture and yoga worlds guided him through turbulent years, while I reflect on the legacy of my own 12 step sponsor.

Healing Porn Addiction & Reclaiming Sexual Energy We get real about a topic that often stays hidden: porn addiction. Devin bravely recounts his early exposure to porn, how it shaped his relationships, and the slow creep into compulsive behaviors - and he outlines the steps to recovery and deeper self-connection. He also introduces the “Multi-Orgasmic Man” practice and explains how mastering your sexual energy can transform every area of your life.

Men’s Work: From Sovereignty to Kingship Devin breaks down his journey with men’s groups - starting with Sacred Sons, moving through years of cross-generational mentorship, and finally building his own programs: Sovereign and Shameless and now Becoming the King. If you’ve ever wondered how to truly “come home to yourself,” harness your power, and step into conscious leadership as a man, this episode is for you.

A Peek Into Conscious Fatherhood - On the personal front  Devin shares the anticipation (and vulnerability) of expecting his first child. He talks about the surrender, support, and trust needed as he and his wife move through pregnancy - plus how fatherhood is already changing him before it’s even begun.

We also touch on:

• The role of permaculture & nature as spiritual teachers
• Somatic healing and how real breakthroughs happen in-person
• The importance (and challenge) of honest friendship and community as men

Links from this episode:

Devin’s Instagram - @devinfredericksen

Men’s Groups - Arka Brotherhood

The Freedom From Addiction Circle

Join Devin's Newsletter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Wang is the author of the recently released Big Asian Energy, the host of the Big Asian Energy show, and a coach and speaker helping Asian professionals break through barriers. He’s worked with clients at Google, Apple, Amazon, and Goldman Sachs, blending cultural insight and science-backed strategies to build confidence and visibility. John’s content on assertiveness and imposter syndrome has reached over 25 million views.

Here are the major topics we dig into in this episode: 

🔥 Authentic Leadership & Dropping the Mask
We get real about what true leadership looks like — and, just as importantly, what it doesn’t. John shares the pitfalls of performative leadership, how people can sense inauthenticity, and the power of leading from mission rather than ego.

❤️ Humility vs. Toxic Humility
We dive deep into the concept of humility, especially within the context of cultural conditioning. John distinguishes between embracing genuine humility and falling into a pattern of self-erasure — something he experienced firsthand growing up as a person of Asian descent in the Western world.

🌏 The Inner East Meets the Inner West
For all the listeners who’ve ever felt like they straddle two worlds — this conversation is for you. John opens up about reconciling his “internal East and West,” the struggle of trying to fit into multiple cultures, and the beauty (and challenge) of true integration.

🧠 Healing the Wound Behind the Mask
We explore how so many of us walk through life with invisible wounds, wearing masks to protect ourselves. John gets candid about his own journey — from performance and burnout to inner work, radical honesty, and building the courage to be seen.

📚 The Birth of Big Asian Energy
We chat about the highs and lows of writing a book that has no comparison. From the immense pressure to represent so many diverse voices, to hiring research assistants to go deeper than just storytelling, John’s creative process offers a behind-the-scenes look into writing an authentic, paradigm-shifting book.

Links from this episode:

🌍 Website: https://www.bigasianenergy.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnwangofficial/

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@johnwangbae

📖 Big Asian Energy Book: https://a.co/d/c0T1c8t

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jeddy Azuma is the founder of the Rising Man movement where he is focussed on initiating a generation of men. He joins me on the show for a second time to share his hard-earned wisdom from the last few years.  

Key Topics We Dive Into:

🔥 Fatherhood & Marriage:
Hear how parenthood has transformed Jeddy’s perspective on himself, his parents, and what it means to grow as a man. He opens up about learning through failure, letting go of old patterns, and striving to be “the man I say I am.”

🦁 Shedding the Unnecessary:
Instead of always adding to our toolkit, what if growth is about letting go? Jeddy and I talk about emptying ourselves of expectations, agendas, and judgments picked up over time—especially as we step deeper into service, partnership, and leadership.

🌲 Nature, Initiation & Rites of Passage:
Jeddy unpacks the importance of nature connection and solo wilderness fasting—not just as a powerful reset, but as a way of life. Initiation experiences like these can awaken our core selves and foster the deep transformation so many of us are craving.

🤝 Brotherhood & Community:
Why are men’s circles and intergenerational wisdom so vital today? Jeddy reflects on sitting with elders, the lessons of humility, and the magic that happens in real community—not only in learning, but in being seen and held by other men.

✊ Serving a Mission, Not an Ego:
We explore how to move from the “me-centric” excitement of finding purpose to true service—letting go of the need for outside validation and focusing on tending your own “kingdom” before trying to change the world.

Thinking of joining a men’s group or seeking a deeper initiation?
Jeddy outlines the Rising Man’s journey: from integrating with a community, to initiation weekends and wilderness fasting, to finding your Fire Circle team for ongoing brotherhood.

Final Thoughts:
Both of us agree: the world doesn’t need you to save it overnight. Start by cleaning your own side of the street, being present with your family, and building community right where you are.

Links:
Rising man on IG 

Rising Man website

Arka Brotherhood 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Phil T. Mistlberger is an author, transpersonal therapist, transformational facilitator, and the founder of Arka Brotherhood. Phil has been a guest on the show a few times before when Arka was known as The Samurai Brotherhood. 

On this occasion Phil joins me to celebrate the 100th episode by sharing the deeper meaning behind his 14-Point Code Of The Conscious Warrior (which is listed at the bottom of the show notes). This was an insightful and impactful conversation that speaks to many of the issues men are struggling with today. 

Here are some of the topics we cover on this episode:

• 14-point Code of the Conscious Warrior.
• Code 1 - The importance of making your word good and maintaining integrity.
• The challenge of maintaining honesty and the benefits it brings to personal transformation.
• Code 2 - "Know Thyself," and its crucial role in personal growth.
• The power of the examined life and self-awareness in men's work.
• Men’s tendency to avoid looking inward and focus excessively on the external world.
• The role of men's groups in providing a space for reflection and growth.
• Code 8 - Understanding the balance between passion and compassion in life.
• Code 4 - The journey of finding the Holy Grail: a man's true calling and higher purpose.
• The impact of modern technology on attention spans.
• Code 6 - The concept of gathering courage and consistently moving forward in life.
• The potential pitfalls of becoming isolated as a leader.
• Exploring the need for silence, space, and the gap between thoughts.
• Code 7 - How holding space for others is a valuable practice.
• The nature of leadership in Arka.
• Men's work as a method for overcoming isolation and cultivating support.
• Code 14 - The importance of family connections.
• Personal stories from Phil’s journey.
• Why modern men might want to join Arka
• Pain and suffering as catalysts for change and growth.
• Appreciation and gratitude for the community built around Arka and the rising tide of men's work.

Links from this episode:

Join The Arka Brotherhood

The Denver Warrior Weekend with Phil T. Mistlberger and Ben Goresky

P.T. Mistlberger’s Books 

The 14-Point Code of the Conscious Warrior 

1. Make your word good
2. Know thyself
3. Train your body
4. Find the holy grail, your true calling
5. Do not fight down
6. Gather courage and move forward
7. Hold space
8. Be passionate and compassionate
9. Learn, study, train
10. Serve a noble cause greater than yourself
11. Penetrate life with your solar energy
12. Be in integrity
13. Stay in relationship
14. Be a responsible son, parent, grandparent, brother, uncle, husband, boyfriend, grandson, cousin, brother-in-law

For an expanded view of the code, go to Arkabrotherhood.com/the-code

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Levi is a Bwiti healer that helps people heal with some of life's most difficult problems. People come from all over the world to Iboga Wellness Center in Costa Rica to deal with problems like depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, substance and non-substance addictions in a psycho-spiritual context.

Iboga is a small shrub from West central Africa in the countries of Gabon, Cameroon and the Congo. Iboga has been used for centuries by indigenous people and more recently has made its way to the Western world. On this episode, we discuss how healing and transformation can occur with the use of Iboga. 

In this episode, we cover:

• Levi’s work with Iboga at the Iboga Wellness Center in Costa Rica.
• Examining the misconceptions about Iboga, with a focus on its healing properties.
• The “mind cleanse” process that Iboga facilitates.
• Explanation of how Iboga aids in overcoming trauma and emotional release.
• Distinction between Iboga and Ibogaine, particularly in addiction treatment.
• The historical and cultural origins of Iboga from Gabon, Africa.
• Levi’s personal journey with Iboga, using it to overcome opiate addiction.
• The spiritual and personal growth aspects of Iboga, contrasting it with its use for physical detox.
• How tradition and rituals around Iboga have shaped its modern application.
• Exploration of the psycho-spiritual retreat experience at the Iboga Wellness Center.
• Discussion on the process and effects of the Iboga mind cleanse and its impact on mental clarity.
• The emotional and chemical resets (dopamine, serotonin) that Iboga can initiate.
• Levi’s observations of physical changes in people post-treatment, especially in expressions and facial structure.
• The significance of integration after an Iboga experience and available support systems.
• Levi’s description of the spiritual energies of Iboga as a teaching tool that emphasizes self-teaching.
• Future trends and potential pharmaceutical developments emerging from iboga's properties.
• Closing thoughts on the responsibility of listening to one's inner call when considering Iboga treatment.

Levi's passion is to spread healing and the gift of iboga to whomever is called. Levi wants to give back for the many gifts he has received through iboga.

One key aspect of this iboga work is the Bwiti tradition. Bwiti is the name for someone who works with iboga to heal. The Bwiti tradition focuses on universal truths of our life to guide us to living a full happy life. The Bwiti tradition is a set of tools we can draw on to guide us in life to making the right decisions for ourselves, self love, managing the mind and to give thanks for the most precious gift, our life.

Links from this episode:
Iboga Wellness - Costa Rica
Ben’s “Medicine Retreats” mailing list

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ian MacKenzie is a mythosomatic guide & filmmaker, as well as the founder of The Mythic Masculine, a platform dedicated to realigning masculinity with thriving life. For over 15 years, he’s been tracking the global emergence of imaginal culture. From the desert of Burning Man to the heart of Occupy Wall St, he has sought and amplified the voices of visionaries, artists and activists who have been working toward planetary system change. He is the co-director of The Village of Lovers as well as Lost Nation Road, Amplify Her, and Sacred Economics.

On this episode, we cover:

• Mythopoetic Men's Work: Exploring myth, men's groups, and men's initiation work.
• The Story of Ian’s Grandfather: How his death opened the door to men's work for Ian.
• The Challenge of Modern Manhood: Exploring how men become men in a culture with no clear passage into manhood.
• The Story of Iron John: Key themes and how it relates to modern men.
• The Hero vs. the King Archetype: Differences and what they signify for personal growth.
• Ian’s Journey Into Mythopoetic Work: From the feminine gateway to exploring the deep masculine.
• The Lost Culture of Initiation: The impact of the absence of initiation rites in modern society.
• Men's Longing for Depth: The hunger for cultural depth and initiation in men’s lives.
• The Importance of the Wound: How a wound or adversity plays a crucial role in men's initiation.
• Archetypes Explained: The significance of the wild man, the golden boy, and other archetypes.
• The Rediscovery of Passion: How modern men can reconnect with their passion and primal energy.
• The Evolution of the Mythopoetic Men's Movement: A look back at its origins and its journey.
• The Role of Story and Myth: Utilizing story and myth to transmit knowledge and wisdom.
• Men's Circles: The transformative power of being seen and supported by other men.
• Eros and Appreciative Consciousness: Cultivating beauty and life energy in oneself.
• Rediscovering the Inner Well: Accessing the inner source of life energy to prevent external dependency.
• The Red, White, and Black Armor: Understanding the stages of masculine development.
• The Necessity of Men's Support: How men can provide what women and the world sometimes cannot.
• Emotional Coaching and Accountability: The unique way men can inspire and challenge each other.
• The Deep Masculine: Defining and understanding the essence of the deep masculine.

Links:

• The Mythic Masculine
• Ian’s Instagram 
• Facebook 
• Ian’s Films And Essays
• The Arka Brotherhood men’s community
  The Conscious Relationship Council, with Ben Goresky

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Traver Boehm is the leader of the Man Uncivilized Movement, the author of multiple books, and a huge advocate for men’s work. Traver leads by example, and in this episode, he joins me on the show for a second appearance to share the powerful story of his father’s passing. He shares the insights and lessons we can all take from his experience.

He also shares his story of spending 28 days in a “darkness retreat” where he saw no light for 28 days. The lessons of this powerful psychedelic experience shine through in striking detail as he takes us through what it was like to be in total darkness for a month.

In this conversation, we discuss:

• The recent death of Traver’s father, reflecting on father wounds, with a powerful story of healing in those last days.
• The role of men’s work and men’s groups in healing the father wound.
• Dark Room: Traver’s experience living in a room by himself in complete darkness for 28 days.
• The insights this gave him on death, freedom, and living fearlessly, hallucinations, grief processing, and lessons about time perception.
• Death and Freedom: How the acceptance of our mortality can influence our approach to life and goals. 
• Traver’s Upcoming book, “28 Days in Darkness,” releasing in February.

Links from this episode:

Man UNcivilized website

Traver’s Instagram

Book: 28 Days in Darkness

The Arka Brotherhood men’s work community

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.