Weird AF News

Jonesy

Comedian Jonesy covers weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Florida.

  • 15 minutes 54 seconds
    Floridaman claims he was teleported into stolen BMW by aliens. Florida woman assaults another with chicken, but which kind?

     FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman arrested after throwing chicken at another woman’s face during an argument. Floridaman "Santa Claus" arrested for possession and distribution of illicit child material. Florida school shuts down after threat detection system thinks a clarinet is an assault rifle. Floridaman claims he was teleported into stolen BMW by aliens. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    12 December 2025, 11:51 pm
  • 23 minutes 12 seconds
    Drunk riding a bike? Lose your driving license in Japan. Trade your goose for store credit at Gamestop?

    Hundreds of citizens in Japan have driver's licenses suspended for drunk bicycle riding. Why are 38% of undergraduates at Stanford Univ declaring to be disabled? Gamestop's trade anything day resulted in some strange items like a goose and a bobcat. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    11 December 2025, 10:56 pm
  • 20 minutes
    Taliban arrests men for dressing up like Peaky Blinders characters. Brazilian lioness receives a Uber Eats human meal at the zoo.

    Taliban detains four men that dressed up as Peaky Blinders characters. Young Brazilian man was killed by a lion after climbing into the zoo exhibit. Houston puts a curfew/ban on operating e-scooters in downtown. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    10 December 2025, 11:44 pm
  • 22 minutes 30 seconds
    Canadian man arrested for assault with a snowblower. Have you tried the pumpkin seed rectal challenge?

    Canadian man arrested for assault with a snow blower. Have you taken the pumpkin seed rectal challenge? Town in Oregon requires new residents to pickup their free puffy coat at City Hall. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    9 December 2025, 11:36 pm
  • 19 minutes 41 seconds
    Sperm racing is growing on college campuses. Women in Latvia are hiring hourly husbands cuz of man shortage.

    Japan unveils a human washing machine for half a million bucks. Sperm racing continues on college campuses like UT. Latvia has a severe man shortage and women are hiring hourly husbands. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    8 December 2025, 11:13 pm
  • 19 minutes 25 seconds
    Afternoon group sex in a Winn Dixie parking lot leads to arrest of Floridaman. Man broke into home, sprayed bbq sauce on walls and then lit a fire.

    FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman broke into a home, sprayed bbq sauce on the walls and furniture before it all caught fire. Floridaman tried to blame his drunk driving on a medical condition that is not real and that he can't pronounce. Florida mother tried to sacrifice her husband and child with a knife before strangling a nurse with the cable to her ankle monitor. Floridamen and woman arrested for having sex in a Winn Dixie parking lot during the day. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    5 December 2025, 11:56 pm
  • 20 minutes 40 seconds
    Flat Earthers! Prove it and win a sports company. Police monitor bowel movements after thief swallows $19k Faberge egg.

    Columbia Sportswear CEO offers the company to anyone that can prove the Earth is totally flat (with photo evidence). Police are monitoring a thief's bowel movements after he swallowed a $19k Faberge egg. Berkeley kidnapping was actually a Fantasy Football prank, say police. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    4 December 2025, 11:13 pm
  • 18 minutes 49 seconds
    Raccoon bites man in the face while driving to the nature center. China will tax condoms to boost birth rate.

    China will tax condoms to boost the birth rate. Pavarotti statue's Christmas ice ring placement is insulting to his widow and family. Georgia man rescues raccoon, gets bit in the face while driving, is diagnosed with rabies but gives the hospital a fake name and number. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    3 December 2025, 11:33 pm
  • 21 minutes 48 seconds
    HR director drugged female job applicants to make them urinate during their interviews. Influencer gave free machetes and alcohol to the homeless.

    Influencer sparks outrage after handing out free machetes and alcohol to the homeless in various cities "for clicks". South Korea distributes AI companion dolls to the elderly living alone to monitor and help them. French // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    3 December 2025, 12:20 am
  • 21 minutes 47 seconds
    When Batman is around, the public behaves: New study. Fart Walking after Thanksgiving is good for you, say doctors.

    Doctor's recommend the Fart Walk post Thanksgiving. The Santa Claus House at the North Pole was the target of an armed terrorist. New study shows that people behave themselves in public when Batman is around. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    1 December 2025, 11:20 pm
  • 29 minutes
    Floridaman claims a cockroach told him to kill a couple guys. Florida will allow bear hunting for first time in a decade.

    FLORIDA FRIDAY - State of Florida will allow bear hunting for first time in ten years. Floridaman kills two because a cockroach told him to do so. Florida priest assaults a woman after she tried to donate to his church. Elderly Florida men are arrested for lewd behavior in a nature reserve. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

    29 November 2025, 1:53 am
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