Backwater Bastards

Backwater Bastards: A haphazard adventure with concept artists

Join us as Dungeon Master Dick and four adventurers, the charismatic, drunken nobleman Baron De'Bauche, the wide-eyed and rambunctious son of a swine-heard Blaznak, the swashbuckling half orc mage Haex Masath, and the clerical, accountant gnome Cedrik make their way haphazardly though the world of Dungeons and Dragons.

  • 6 minutes 38 seconds
    A Hiatus Update: Help Shape the Show!

    Over here at Bastard HQ, we are knee deep in dreams of the future.

    But we want to make sure it’s a cool future that everyone likes- so we made this survey to pick your brains.


    Here it is: https://forms.gle/RDckuVtWDMVpRcnU6 We’ve blasted this thing out to our discord, and a few of our socials, but there’s another group that we don’t want to miss, and that might be you.


    So if you've got some time, please consider sharing your thoughts. It's anonymous, and it means a lot to us. We’re working on getting this thing out in as many different places as possible- and when it’s all over we plan on sharing some of the results in our discord.


    If you’d like to see that, you can join us here: https://discord.gg/nfYHkbbJh9 Thank you again for being here, and for all of your help. The show wouldn’t be the same without you. We are grateful to have you on board, and we can’t wait to get back.

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    11 February 2025, 2:20 pm
  • 1 hour 58 minutes
    Introducing: Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry | Goblin Mode

    Hi Backwater Bastards listeners! This week, we're bringing you an episode of another show we think you'll love: Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode!!

    Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode is the latest actual play narrative fantasy series from Geek & Sundry in partnership with Realm. Using the popular TTRPG Dungeons & Dragons, Goblin Mode tells an ever-evolving improvised story full of magic, monsters, and mayhem. 

    Goblin Mode is not your traditional fantasy story. These aren’t the mighty warriors who would be called to a tavern by a mysterious stranger. Rather, these characters would be mere crossbow fodder for a group of actual intrepid heroes.

    Lead by storyteller Amy Vorpahl and cast members Jason Nguyen, Danielle Radford, and Dan Casey, Goblin Mode tells the tale of a trio of hapless minions – a goblin and two skeletons – toiling their days away in the service of an evil necromancer. 

    When a band of treasure-hungry “heroes” attack the dungeon they once called home, these poor unfortunate souls wind up trapped in a pit. By the time the dust settles, everyone they knew is dead, their old lives are gone, and their home is under new management. Will they seek vengeance? Will they realize there’s more to life than the Cave Allegory they lived in? Will they become the hope the world needs to stop its impending doom? Find out for yourself with the very first episode of Goblin Mode.

    Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and wherever fine podcasts are served.

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    9 January 2025, 8:00 am
  • 10 minutes 43 seconds
    The Gang Goes on Hiatus (See you in 2025!)

    The Bastards are taking a brief hiatus so that they can experiment, play, and recover from the tornado that was 2024. 

    In the meantime, they will be hosting game nights in the Discord, pausing the Patreon for a month, and then releasing some hot, fresh SideArms. (Don't forget that you can speedbinge them on the 7 day free trial!

    Our heroes will be BACK and ready for action in 2025, with a plan to get the whole gang back together... Or die trying.


    Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by Realm

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

    Join our Discord!

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    13 November 2024, 11:00 pm
  • 1 hour 15 minutes
    Rendezvous with Bastards! - Director of the Light

    TW: Gore, Cannibalism, Blood.

    RWD presents - a Rendezvous with Bastards! Our friends find themselves trapped in the middle of a meltdown. Will they be able to escape this emergency, or will the mystery behind the walls prove just too tempting to ignore? Millicent practices first aid, Lucky smells the ground, Harrison shows off his criminal enterprise and Hank hits back.


    Backwater Bastards is a sci-fi comedy improv actual play podcast played by three international artists with an emphasis on slice-of-life style situational humour. This show features immersive sound design, its very own game system, Orbital Refuse- and a team of alien antiheroes that will choose each other over the universe every time. Tay and Dan are two of those aliens, and can be found anywhere that you find Backwater Bastards, or on twitter at @TAYvanbiljon and @deadtoothbrush.


    A Rendezvous With Destiny: A Bite Marks actual play podcast. New episodes every other Thursday! Find us on Twitter and Instagram @RWD_Pod, and join our Discord Server here: https://linktr.ee/RWD_POD


    A Rendezvous With Destiny: Outcast's theme music is written and performed by Chloe Elliott. Find it, and other original tracks here: https://soundcloud.com/user-914339386


    The Shiver name, mechanics and lore are solely the property of Parable Games. We have no affiliation with Parable Games and in no way represent them or their views.


    Music:

    RWD: Outcast Theme :: Chloe Elliott

    Censor Beep Sound Effect :: Free Use - YouTube

    Phantom From Space:: Kevin Macleod

    Medusa :: Kevin Macleod

    Eating: Comedy - Masticating apple - 1967 (7C, reprocessed) :: BBC Sound Effects Archive

    Bells, Door Chimes And Buzzers - Electric door chimes rung at intervals. (Ding-dong note) :: BBC Sound Effects Archive

    Footsteps Across Sand - footsteps as man walks across sand on beach :: BBC Sound Effects Archive

    Hand Saw - close-up sound of hand saw being used to cut down side branch. Crack as branch breaks and falls. :: BBC Sound Effects Archive

    Footsteps: Mud - Footsteps, one person running in mud. : BBC Sound Effects Archive

    Lifts - Lift doors close, lift runs. : BBC Sound Effects Archive

    Martian Cowboy :: Keving Macleod


    Electronically Generated Sounds - Emergency alarm (with slight phasing). (Futuristic Spot Effect.) :: BBC Sound Effects Archive

    Wilhelm Scream - Free MP3 Download :: Sound Vault - YouTube


    Timecode:

    00:00:00 - 00:00:26 - Intro

    00:00:27- 00:05:33 – Government Mandated Banter

    00:03:10- 01:10:39 – The Adventure

    01:10:40 - 01:15:08 – Outro 

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    18 October 2024, 8:55 am
  • 1 hour 7 minutes
    Rendezvous with Bastards! - Closer to Heck

    Episode 1: Closer to Heck

    Our good friends Chloe, Will, and Am are - A Rendezvous with Destiny - an actual-play podcast that immerses listeners in tabletop role-playing games where players explore mythological themes and narratives. They took us on this incredible adventure and it was so much fun! Thank you again to Chloe, Will, and Am and please go and check out their show where ever ya get your podcasts.


    RWD (A Rendezvous with Destiny ) presents - a Rendezvous with Bastards! Joined by the Ennie-nominated cast of Backwater Bastards, we descend into a spine-tingling game of Shiver. Our band of 20-somethings are invited to their mate Steve's debut at a local Haunted House. But is all as it seems? Harrison refuses to play taxi, Lucky rushes in, Millicent is millitant and Hank is left in the dark.

    A Rendezvous With Destiny: A Bite Marks actual play podcast. New episodes every other Thursday! Find us on Twitter and Instagram @RWD_Pod, and join our Discord Server here: https://linktr.ee/RWD_POD

    A Rendezvous With Destiny: Outcast's theme music is written and performed by Chloe Elliott. Find it, and other original tracks here: https://soundcloud.com/user-914339386

    The Shiver name, mechanics and lore are solely the property of Parable Games. We have no affiliation with Parable Games and in no way represent them or their views.


    Music:

    RWD: Outcast Theme :: Chloe Elliott

    Martian Cowboy :: Kevin Macleod

    Phantasm :: Kevin Macleod

    Phantom From Space:: Kevin Macleod

    Censor Beep Sound Effect :: Free Use - YouTube

    Electronically Generated Sounds - Emergency alarm (with slight phasing). (Futuristic Spot Effect.) :: BBC Sound Effects Archive

    Wilhelm Scream - Free MP3 Download :: Sound Vault - YouTube


    Timecode:

    00:00:00 - 00:01:00 - Intro

    00:01:01- 00:06:17 – Government Mandated Banter

    00:03:10- 00:58:43 – The Adventure

    00:58:44 - 01:03:09 – Outro 

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    10 October 2024, 10:52 pm
  • 1 hour 11 minutes
    S3E13: The split II - Dogs Breakfast

    Trevor has returned and has brought news of Cleo, but she needs help. So now Ze and Boris must race to finish their business on Garcia station to get to her aid. But just one thing, that business is an intergalactic war.

    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews


    Episode art by @georginalesaux


    Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by Realm

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

    Join our Discord!

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    13 September 2024, 4:29 pm
  • 1 hour 1 minute
    S3E12: The split I

    Trevor has returned and has brought news of Cleo, but she needs help. So now Ze and Boris must race to finish their business on Garcia station to get to her aid. But just one thing, that business is an intergalactic war.

    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews


    Episode art by @georginalesaux


    Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by Realm

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

    Join our Discord!

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    29 August 2024, 2:00 am
  • 27 minutes 6 seconds
    BONUS | SideArm Offcuts

    The bastards have been hit with the most ancient of foes, the scheduling big bad! and have lost. So this week instead of an episode we give you a tasty offcut. Please take this offering and grant us some extra time.

    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews


    Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by Realm

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

    Join our Discord!

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    14 August 2024, 10:25 pm
  • 1 hour 4 minutes
    S3E11: Budgy Smuggler

    Ze, Boris and M8 are at war. Barely alive and grappling with the deformed remnants of their plans, the Doctor and his crew face the wrath of the roused Synth Army. As the drones fly in, Ze and the assembled Bastards prepare for the end. But what they get, is something else entirely.


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews


    Episode art by Salvo


    Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by Realm

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

    Join our Discord!

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1 August 2024, 5:40 pm
  • 1 hour 14 minutes
    S3E10: Junk in the trunk

    Dr. Ze, Boris and M8 have no choice but to flee the Angel they came to save. With the help of a fast car, the legacy code, and Thespa’s militia, they brace for the impact to come… Both from the loose Angel, and the leagues of synthetic deserters- desperate for the refuge of a less violent world.


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews


    Episode art by skiamakhia_/


    Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by Realm

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

    Join our Discord!

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    17 July 2024, 10:04 pm
  • 1 hour 29 minutes
    S3E09: From Pod to Bod!

    The Doctor Ze , Boris and M8 otherwise known as PUMP BOIS are in some deep danger, how deep? try behind enemy lines deep. But they must go deeper if they are to find and free M8s angel.


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews


    Episode art by IG @georginalesaux


    Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by Realm

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com

    Join our Discord!

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    19 June 2024, 10:00 pm
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