- 55 minutes 41 seconds464 - Building Trust For The Long Haul
In today’s episode, we dive into one of the most tender and complex challenges couples face after betrayal: rebuilding trust that lasts. Even when sobriety is sustained and growth is evident, many spouses still feel the hidden fear that the “other shoe” will eventually drop. Our guests, Tyler and Shari Chinchen, help us unpack why trust can remain fragile, what behaviors—often unintentional—can quietly undo months of healing, and how couples can avoid these subtle pitfalls. We’ll explore the markers of thriving couples who have restored trust over time and what practices consistently set them up for long-term stability. We also address two difficult but common experiences: when the recovering spouse feels they’ve rebuilt more than their partner recognizes, and when betrayal happens again after meaningful progress. Lastly, we discuss why trust must be rebuilt in every area of marriage, the role of group support, and what to do when trust gets stuck despite years of effort.
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26 May 2026, 9:30 am - 1 hour 1 minute463 - Rebuilding the Physical Relationship After Betrayal
On today’s episode, Nate and Maggie Blaylock share their expertise in helping couples navigate recovery, with a special focus on rebuilding physical intimacy after betrayal. They discuss common mistakes couples make in this area and provide examples of what can go wrong, as well as the traits of couples who successfully restore trust and connection in their sexual relationship.
The conversation explores how spouses can create a safe, supportive environment for renewed intimacy, communicate boundaries or discomfort effectively, and have constructive conversations about sex without shame or pressure. Nate and Maggie also address shifting expectations, acknowledging that physical intimacy may look different than before discovery, and offer guidance for couples who feel stuck even years into recovery.
Listeners will gain practical tools and encouragement for fostering openness, safety, and connection, with insights for cultivating a physical relationship that is not only healthy but potentially even richer than before betrayal.
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19 May 2026, 9:30 am - 50 minutes 46 seconds462 - Developing Empathy For My Spouse w/ Carol Jurgensen Sheets
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Carol Jurgensen Sheets joins us again to explore the vital role of empathy in healing relationships affected by addiction or compulsive sexual behavior. She begins by defining empathy and explaining why it’s essential for rebuilding trust and connection after discovery. Carol also discusses why many addicts struggle with empathy, often due to past modeling or coping patterns, and offers practical guidance for learning this skill even when it feels unfamiliar. We cover strategies for communicating needs as a spouse or family member, navigating situations where the recovering partner may struggle to respond empathetically, and maintaining empathy beyond recovery to enrich all relationships. Carol shares concrete steps listeners can take this week or month to practice and strengthen empathy, emphasizing that it’s a skill that can grow with intention, reflection, and accountability. The episode closes with encouragement for making empathy a consistent, transformative part of life and recovery.
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12 May 2026, 9:30 am - 1 hour 8 minutes461 - Walking Through Truth, Honesty, and Disclosure In Your Marriage w/ Dr. Janice Caudill
Dr. Janice Caudill joins us for her first podcast conversation to explore one of the most challenging aspects of recovery: disclosure. She begins by sharing her own background and approach, then walks listeners through what an ideal disclosure process looks like in healthy recovery.
Recognizing that most couples face partial, staggered, or even forced disclosures, Dr. Janice offers guidance for navigating fear, trauma, and missteps when the initial process doesn’t go perfectly. She discusses the importance of truthful communication during the gap between discovery and full disclosure, and how to balance a spouse’s desire for details with the need to avoid retraumatization. Listeners will learn how to maintain honesty in long-term recovery, extend transparency beyond addiction-related issues, and cultivate relational trust.
Dr. Janice also addresses situations where disclosure isn’t fully possible and offers practical advice for moving toward healing, openness, and integrity even in imperfect circumstances.
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5 May 2026, 9:30 am - 1 hour 3 minutes460 - Navigating Triggers and Traumas After Year One w/ Jason and Shelley Martinkus
In today’s episode, Jason and Shelley Martinkus join us for their first podcast conversation to share their insights on navigating the ongoing challenges of healing in relationships impacted by addiction. They discuss how betrayed spouses can communicate triggers effectively, and how recovering addicts can receive this feedback without defensiveness. The conversation addresses common frustrations, such as differing paces of healing, lingering trauma, and the temptation to pressure a spouse to “get over it,” offering practical strategies for patience, perspective, and mutual support. Jason and Shelley also explore how couples can handle unexpected triggers—from new life events to routine situations—and provide tools for repairing trauma together, even in later stages of recovery. Listeners will learn ways to encourage one-sided healing, nurture empathy, and maintain connection while respecting individual boundaries. You’ll gain actionable guidance for cultivating resilience, understanding, and relational growth throughout the long journey of recovery.
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28 April 2026, 9:30 am - 1 hour 3 minutes459 - Redeeming the Post-Affair Divorce w/ Linda Macdonald
In this powerful episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, Linda MacDonald joins us to explore the unique trauma of post-affair divorce—what she describes as a “spiritual car crash.” We discuss why the grief of being betrayed and then left carries a distinct and devastating complexity, including the deep shame, self-blame, and identity loss many survivors experience. Linda offers insight for betrayed spouses wrestling with worth, rewritten marital histories, and faith shaken to the core. We also address hard questions around forgiveness when reconciliation isn’t possible and what redemption can look like for those who caused the betrayal and now face its consequences. For listeners in the raw aftermath of divorce, Linda shares practical hope for reclaiming identity, rebuilding a fierce, honest faith, and taking the first steps toward healing and wholeness.
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21 April 2026, 9:30 am - 56 minutes 56 seconds458 - The Love Language That Matters Most w/ Dr. Gary Chapman
Dr. Gary Chapman joins us for a rich conversation about loving well through The 5 Love Languages®. We begin with a helpful refresher on the five languages and explore how personality shapes the way we give and receive love. Chapman also explains the idea of the “love tank”—what fills it, what drains it, and how couples can keep it healthy through consistency, practice, and intentional effort rather than striving for perfection. For listeners navigating recovery from pornography, compulsive sexual behavior, or betrayal, this episode offers compassionate guidance on using the love languages in healthy, non-manipulative ways that build trust instead of pressure. We also talk about what it means to be a truly good listener, how to express unmet needs with grace, and when to share versus simply hear. Finally, Dr. Chapman introduces The 5 Love Languages® Premium Assessment and how it helps couples grow in understanding and connection.
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14 April 2026, 9:30 am - 1 hour 1 minute457 - How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities w/ Dr. Andrew Bauman
In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, Dr. Andrew Bauman joins us to discuss why the church so often becomes an unsafe place for survivors of sexual betrayal. Drawing from his work as a licensed mental health counselor and his research with more than 2,800 women, Dr. Bauman shares what led him—from pastoral ministry into clinical practice—to expose the systemic sexism and abuse he documents in Safe Church. We explore how misogyny disguised as theology retraumatizes betrayed women, how men’s recovery spaces can drift toward self-protection rather than true repair, and why meaningful repentance must be victim-centered. Dr. Bauman unpacks distorted interpretations of power, forgiveness, and the biblical term Ezer, and offers practical “green flags” for identifying church communities that genuinely support healing, equality, and spiritual safety for both men and women in recovery.
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7 April 2026, 9:30 am - 1 hour 3 minutes456 - When Hurting People Come To Church w/ Drs. Shaunti Feldhahn & James Sells
In today’s episode, we explore the heart behind the book, When Hurting People Come to Church, and the growing mental health crisis impacting families, churches, and communities—including those navigating sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Our guests, Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. James Sells, explain why so many people struggle to find timely help and how the Church is uniquely positioned to respond. Rather than serving only as a referral source, churches can become places of relational care, where ordinary people learn to love well without needing professional credentials. You’ll hear practical ways to support others without burning out, along with an introduction to the CARE strategy and The Church Cares, a movement equipping congregations to walk with hurting people. You’ll discover a hopeful vision of compassionate, community-based care.
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31 March 2026, 9:30 am - 1 hour 7 minutes455 - How Desires Can Discover Unhealed Wounds w/ Jay Stringer
In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, we explore a radically different way of understanding desire in recovery, betrayal, and marriage. Rather than treating desire as the enemy, our guest, Jay Stringer, invites us to see unwanted behaviors as signposts pointing to deeper wounds and unmet longings.
Drawing from Jay’s research with over 4,000 people, we discuss how fear-based restriction, shame-driven purity culture, and the pursuit of intensity often fuel addiction and emotional disconnection. We unpack how curiosity, compassion, and wholeness can help individuals move out of relapse cycles and support relational repair after betrayal.
For betrayed partners, we address how desire can go dormant—and how it can be reclaimed safely. We conclude by envisioning what “connected desire” looks like beyond crisis and where listeners can learn more in Jay’s new book, Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow
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24 March 2026, 9:30 am - 1 hour 9 seconds454 - The Persistent Message of Shame w/ Dr. Jake Porter
In today’s episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jake Porter to explore the pervasive and often misunderstood role of shame in recovery. We begin by defining shame and examining why understanding its messages is crucial for lasting growth.
Even after significant recovery, shame can persist—like background noise—resurfacing when we least expect it, especially when confronting the pain we’ve caused others. We discuss strategies for recognizing and responding to shame, including how to navigate triggers from loved ones, childhood experiences, or the fear of rejection. Listeners will learn practical ways to continue healing long after the initial addictive behaviors have changed, and how to support others in processing their own shame without amplifying it.
This conversation highlights the importance of awareness, empathy, and self-compassion, showing that recovery isn’t just about behavior—it’s about transforming the internal narratives that drive it. By leaning into this work, we create space for deeper freedom, connection, and emotional resilience.
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