In this episode, Debby Flanagan dives into a common but often overlooked challenge in recovery: trying to control life by controlling other people. We explore how this pattern can undermine relationships, fuel relapse, and distract from personal growth.
Debby outlines telltale signs that someone may be exerting control and offers strategies for self-reflection to recognize if we are doing the same. For spouses or family members, we discuss clear boundary language and how to set limits that protect your health while maintaining empathy. We also explore the freedom—and fear—that comes with allowing others to make their own choices, and how recovering addicts can focus on their own healing instead of trying to manage everyone else.
Debby shares guidance on repairing harm caused by controlling behaviors, from sincere apologies to meaningful amends, and offers practical ways to cultivate personal safety, security, and relational integrity in long-term recovery.
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In this episode, we explore what it truly means to take full responsibility for the damage caused by addiction—and why minimizing, deflecting, or excusing that harm often keeps relapse close at hand.
Joined by Eileen Fagan, we identify subtle signs of incomplete ownership, from defensiveness and justification to shifting focus onto the wounded spouse’s reactions. We also discuss why acknowledging pain we’ve caused is so difficult, even for those well into recovery, and how loved ones or group members can gently guide someone toward honest self-awareness without shaming or controlling.
On the hopeful side, we paint a picture of what real ownership looks like: humility, empathy, repair-focused action, and a willingness to validate pain without arguing with it. We talk about how to avoid the trap of comparison when both partners carry wounds, and how to accept responsibility without spiraling into self-contempt. Ultimately, healthy ownership becomes a lifelong posture—not self-punishment, but a steady commitment to relational repair and integrity.
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In today’s episode, we confront one of the most deceptive assumptions in the recovery world: the belief that sexual addiction is “just about sex.” With guest Robert Vander Meer, we unpack how this false narrative minimizes the emotional, relational, and neurological drivers beneath the behavior, making relapse far more likely because the real wounds go unaddressed. We identify common signs of this mindset—statements like “I just need more willpower” or “at least I’ve never crossed physical lines”—and explore how even those engaging only with pornography, fantasy, or lust can still be caught in the same trap. We also offer guidance for spouses and group members who recognize this belief in others and want to speak truth without shaming, rescuing, or lecturing. Together, we name why sexual addiction is fundamentally about pain, attachment, coping, and disconnection—not merely sexual acts. Finally, we discuss subtle ways this belief can linger even in long-term sobriety and how to continue growing in honesty, humility, and emotional freedom.
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In this episode, Harry Flanagan joins us to unpack a subtle but critical danger in the recovery process: pursuing healing with less passion than we once pursued addiction. He explains how this mindset can quietly fuel relapse patterns, create emotional complacency, and leave individuals feeling stuck even while “doing the right things.” Harry also addresses why some people struggle to engage fully in recovery and what they might be missing when transformation begins to feel routine instead of urgent.
We discuss the FASTER Scale and how overconfidence—one of the earliest signs of slipping—can disguise itself as stability while actually signaling vulnerability. Harry offers practical steps for rekindling commitment when motivation fades, and guidance for spouses who fear their partner isn’t taking recovery seriously.
We’ll also explore how to support group members without slipping into fixing or rescuing, and the key behaviors to look for when someone is genuinely invested in long-term healing. He closes with encouraging, grounded advice for anyone feeling their passion for recovery growing dim.
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In today’s episode, Laurie Krieg shares her expertise on guiding children through some of today’s toughest conversations around sexuality, gender, and God’s design for relationships. From knowing the right time to talk to kids about sex, singleness, and marriage, to navigating confusing cultural messages—including rainbow flags, gender transitions in family, and the realities of pornography and trafficking—Laurie offers practical, age-appropriate guidance rooted in the Gospel. She helps parents understand why starting these conversations with God’s truth is essential and how to respond when kids ask difficult questions. Laurie also previews her upcoming book, providing a roadmap for parents seeking to equip their children to navigate today’s world safely, confidently, and with a biblical foundation. This episode is a must-listen for parents, caregivers, and anyone invested in raising children with wisdom and grace.
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In this episode, Rodney and Traci Wright dive into the delicate and vital topic of parenting while walking a recovery journey. Drawing from their book How to Talk with Your Kids About Sex, they explore why honesty, timing, and boundaries are essential when navigating recovery with children at home. From common mistakes parents make to practical guidance on age-appropriate disclosure, they provide insights for protecting children from the emotional rollercoaster while fostering understanding and trust. They also address how sharing recovery experiences with adult children can support both personal healing and family transformation. Filled with practical “dos,” encouragement, and real-life wisdom, this episode equips parents to walk the line between authenticity and protection, helping children grow up healthy, informed, and part of a recovery story rooted in hope and grace.
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In this episode, John Fort returns to share insights from his book Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationships, a practical guide designed to help dads engage openly and confidently with their sons about sex, boundaries, and character. He explains why these conversations are often difficult for Christian parents, the common hesitations dads face, and the positive transformations he’s seen when fathers step into this important role. John highlights what’s new in the second edition and offers encouragement for dads of pre-teens, teens, and even adult sons, showing that it’s never too late to start. Filled with practical tips, real-life stories, and wisdom from years of ministry, this episode equips fathers—and the families around them—to build trust, accountability, and a legacy of integrity through honest, faith-filled conversations.
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In this episode, we’re joined by Ashley Jameson, the author of a powerful new book designed to help moms and daughters navigate one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics: sex and healthy conversations about it. She shares what inspired her to write Girl Talk, how the book is structured, and what moms and daughters can expect as they walk through it together.
We’ll explore practical ways to move past awkwardness, create a safe and judgment-free space, and adapt conversations to different personalities and comfort levels. Ashley also tackles the biggest barriers parents face when addressing sexuality and offers hope for breaking cycles of shame.
Through her own story and insights, she reminds families that lasting growth happens when we focus on relationships over rules and keep open, honest communication going long after the book is finished.
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In this episode, Josh Andrew explores how the start of a New Year can be a fresh opportunity for growth and focus in recovery. Moving beyond avoidance-based strategies, he introduces the Three Circles tool, emphasizing the importance of the outer circle—practices and behaviors that support a healthy, fulfilling life while reducing the risk of acting out.
Josh explains how self-care, understanding your God-given identity, and thoughtfully designing your outer circle can strengthen recovery and make it sustainable. He also addresses common mistakes, shares practical ways to involve supportive people, and highlights how clear communication can foster accountability.
Whether you’re new to recovery or looking to deepen your progress, this episode provides actionable insights and encouragement for building a holistic plan that promotes freedom, purpose, and lasting transformation.
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In this insightful episode, Stuart Blade unpacks the power of the Commitment to Change—a practical tool designed to help individuals and couples experience real transformation in their recovery and spiritual growth.
He explains what a Commitment to Change is, who it’s for, and how it can move people from good intentions to lasting change. Drawing from years of experience leading and supervising groups, Stuart shares common mistakes people make when setting commitments and the key habits that help them find traction. He also offers encouragement for those who feel stuck, showing how this weekly rhythm can support larger life goals.
Whether you’re starting the new year with renewed motivation or looking to deepen your recovery journey, this episode will help you make meaningful, sustainable progress—one intentional step at a time.
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In this heartfelt episode, Rodney and Traci Wright share their powerful story of finding healing—both individually and as a couple. Long before discovering Pure Desire, their recovery journey began with a deep recognition of their need for help and God’s grace to rebuild what was broken.
They open up about the early steps they took to survive as a couple, the community that supported them, and how joining a Pure Desire group years later helped them experience a new depth of healing and connection. Together, they reveal the truths and tools that have sustained their marriage and shaped their ongoing recovery.
Through honesty, accountability, and faith, Rodney and Traci now walk in freedom and are helping others do the same. Their story offers hope for any couple longing to experience the redemptive power of God’s healing love.
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