It’s Monday and I hate this chapter because it’s about Quidditch! Other things happen too, which you can hear about on this week’s episode of Podtrificus Totalus, the universe’s favorite Harry Potter podcast done book by book, chapter by chapter.

We make a number of references to outside sources and popular culture, which are listed below:

• Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

• Avatar: The Last Airbender S01E14 “The Fortuneteller”

• The Final Fantasy series

• Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (2003)

Our Spell of the Week this week is Cheering Charms, which Harry and Ron learn in — you won’t believe this — Charms class.

It’s Monday, and Podtrificus Totalus is hitting you with yet another episode of the Wizarding World’s favorite Harry Potter podcast!

This chapter sees Harry and Ron continue their grudge match with Hermione despite Hagrid’s urgings to make up. Harry chooses to go to Hogsmeade yet again, but when the Invisibility Cloak slips off, Malfoy spots him and runs off to tell Professor Snape. Once apprehended by the Potions master, Harry learns more about his father’s history with Snape and why Professor Snape dislikes him so…

We make a number of references to outside sources and popular culture, which are listed below:

• Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry

• Lady Bird (2017)

• Birds of Prey (2020), Suicide Squad (2016), and the Snyder Cut

• The X-Files S01E03 “Squeeze”

Our Spell of the Week this week is fire chatting or fire talking — basically, the use of Floo Powder as a communication tool across distances.

You can hear more from our guest, Joseluis Solorzano, on his movie review website, Solo Breakdown, and on Twitter (@joseluissolo)https://twitter.com/joseluissolo. You can also find the Macbeth adaptation he directed for Blank Conversations on YouTube.

It’s Monday, and that means it’s time to talk about yet another instance of J.K. Rowling doing the worst job she possibly can at representing diverse peoples!

In this chapter of Prisoner of Azkaban, Gryffindor plays Ravenclaw in Quidditch, and Harry finally gets to put the Firebolt to work. Harry and Ron consider forgiving Hermione, but a bloody mess on Ron’s sheets only serves to distance them further. Harry manages to conjure a Patronus successfully, and Ron faces yet another threat while within the common room…

We make a number of references to outside sources and popular culture, which are listed below:

• Cho Chang on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• Cho Chang on the Harry Potter Wiki

• J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter fans tear into author following “anti-trans” tweets (Jacob Stolworthy; 7 June 2020)

• Episode 14 of the Chinese Chippy Girl: Katie Leung aka Cho Chang from Harry Potter joins me!!

• Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter by Galadriel Waters (Ed. Astre Mithrandir; Published by Wizarding World Press in 2003)

Our Spell of the Week this week is the Golden Snidget, the early version of what would become the Golden Snitch.

It’s Monday, and we’re back after a week off with an extra-long episode of Podtrificus Totalus, a Harry Potter podcast done book by book, chapter by chapter.

On this week’s episode, we cover chapter twelve of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, “The Patronus!” In this chapter, Harry begins his anti-Dementor lessons with Professor Lupin, but he hesitates when he realizes that blocking out the Dementors might block him out from ever hearing his parents’ voices again. Harry and Ron’s feud with Hermione over the Firebolt continues, and just when they’re about to make up, Ron finds a crime scene in his bedsheets with no sign of Scabbers.

We make a number of references to outside sources and popular culture, which are listed below:

• Misery, The Eyes of the Dragon, Carrie, It, and The Stand by Stephen King

• House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

• The Road by Cormac McCarthy and the 2009 film adaptation

• The “Misery Business” episode of Punch Up the Jam

• 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami

• Teen Titans

• Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter by Galadriel Waters (Ed. Astre Mithrandir; Published by Wizarding World Press in 2003)

• Second Act (2018)

• Patronus on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• The Patronus Charm on the Harry Potter Wiki

• Blue Peter Interview with J.K. Rowling (20 July 2007)

• “Expecto Patronum” by Totally Knuts

• AOL Live Interview with J.K. Rowling (19 October 2000)

• Bloodborne (2015)

• The Hurling Hex on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• The Math Lady meme

• Odd’s bodkins on The Free Dictionary

Our Spell of the Week this week is — you guessed it — Expecto Patronum, Harry’s second favorite spell!

You can hear more from our guest, TK Lawrence, by following them on Twitter and Instagram. Be sure to also check out their incredible wizard rock over on Bandcamp and support them on Patreon!

It’s Monday, and we’re flying in on a speedy (but possibly jinxed?) broomstick with the latest episode of Podtrificus Totalus, the international standard in Harry Potter podcasts done chapter by chapter, book by book!

Harry, upset and enraged by the news of Sirius Black’s betrayal, is determined to seek revenge for his parents’ deaths and take the adults in his life to task for withholding the truth from him. Despite Ron and Hermione’s attempts to talk him down, Harry continues to seethe until he is distracted by Buckbeak’s impending doom. On Christmas day, Harry receives a mysterious and expensive gift with no note or card, prompting a disagreement with Hermione.

The only outside source we reference for this episode is the Harry Potter Wiki’s page on Chair-conjuring, which constitutes our Spell of the Week for this episode.

We would like to remind our listeners that Podchaser is donating to Meals on Wheels for every review left on their site. Head over to our page on the site and leave us some kind words to contribute to a great cause!

It’s Monday and it’s time to relive childhood trauma with Podtrificus Totalus, the only Harry Potter read along podcast that spends several minutes talking about Pooh Bear hats!

This chapter of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is one big exposition dump! Harry chats with Lupin about the effect the Dementors have on him, and Lupin agrees to teach Harry how to defend himself against them. Fred and George gift Harry the Marauder’s Map which (among other things) shows him the secret passages between Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. Finally, Harry overhears a conversation in the Three Broomsticks which finally reveals the connection between him and Sirius Black.

We make a number of references to outside sources and popular culture, which are listed below:

• Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter by Galadriel Waters (Ed. Astre Mithrandir; Published by Wizarding World Press in 2003)

• The Marauder’s Map on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• The Marauder’s Map on Wizarding World

• Gilmore Girls (2000-2007)

• Peter Pettigrew on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• Peter Pettigrew on the Harry Potter Wiki

• Mobiliarbus on the Harry Potter Wiki

Our Spell of the Week this week is Mobiliarbus, which is a very specialized charm that Hermione uses to move the Christmas trees in the Three Broomsticks and conceal their eavesdropping.

It’s Monday, which means a new episode of Podtrificus Totalus, Cedric Diggory’s favorite Harry Potter re-read podcast!

Picking up after Sirius Black attempted to break into the Gryffindor common room, the students are moved into the Great Hall for the night, where Harry overhears an interesting conversation. The next day, Lupin is out sick and Snape subs in for him, abusing students along the way. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff face off in a Quidditch match with disastrous results, and a beloved companion leaves us forever.

We make a number of references to outside sources and popular culture, which are listed below:

• J.K. Rowling’s World Book Day Chat (4 March 2004)

• Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter by Galadriel Waters (Ed. Astre Mithrandir; Published by Wizarding World Press in 2003)

• Argyllshire on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• Cedric Diggory on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• The Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis

• The Impervius Charm on the Harry Potter Wiki

Our Spell of the Week this week is the Impervius Charm, which Hermione uses to help Harry see through his wet glasses during the Quidditch match.

It’s Monday and we’re back at it again at Podtrificus Totalus, the only Harry Potter podcast that spends roughly half the runtime debating the pedagogical methods at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

This chapter takes Prisoner of Azkaban into Hogwarts and keeps Harry out of the Halloween trip to Hogsmeade. As he mopes about the castle, he ends up in Professor Lupin’s office for tea and a conversation about fear. While Lupin believes Harry wise for fearing the Dementors most of all, the end of the chapter should perhaps heighten Harry’s fear about Sirius Black, who attacks the portrait of the Fat Lady that guards Gryffindor Common Room…

We make a number of references to outside sources and popular culture, which are listed below:

• Final Fantasy VII (1997)

• Mulan (1998)

• Red Caps on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• Kappas on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• Binky Barnes from the children’s television show Arthur

• Ambrosius Flume on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• Ranking of sweets in the Wizarding World on Wizarding World

• Grindylow on the Harry Potter Lexicon

Our Spell of the Week (or Creature of the Week) is the Grindylow, one of which sits with Lupin’s office, ready for some finger-breakin’ practical learning in the next Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson.

Another Monday, another episode of Podtrificus Totalus, the best Harry Potter podcast in the known galaxy!

This week, we cover chapter seven of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which puzzles us with Shrinking Solutions and Boggarts. We face each of our worst fears to give you plenty of background knowledge, analysis, and discussion of the chapter.

We make a number of references to outside sources and popular culture, which are listed below:

• The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

• Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter by Galadriel Waters (Ed. Astre Mithrandir; Published by Wizarding World Press in 2003)

• Shrinking Solution on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• GadgetGirlKylie’s Wonderbook: Book of Potions Let’s Play on YouTube

• Tiny Hermione on Hark! A Vagrant

• Love Actually (2003)

• Waddiwasi on the Harry Potter Wiki

• Waddiwasi on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• Boggart on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• S01E03 of The X-Files, “Squeeze”

• Scholastic Interview with J.K. Rowling (16 October 2000)

• The Boggart-Banishing Spell on the Harry Potter Wiki

Our Spell of the Week for this episode is Riddikulus, which the third-year students use to banish the titular Boggart in the wardrobe.

of Azkaban, “Talons and Tea Leaves,” in which Harry, Ron, and Hermione start their third year at Hogwarts. They begin new courses (some more than others), and Hermione must decide where she draws the line between magic and card tricks.

We make a number of references to outside sources and popular culture, which are listed below:

• Pansy Parkinson on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• ugly: in defense of pansy parkinson by dirgewithoutmusic on AO3

• “Dirge Without Music” by Edna St. Vincent Millay

• That Girl is a Goddamn Problem: Girl Hate and Beyond in Harry Potter

• Sir Cadogan on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• “Meeting Sir Cadogan,” a deleted scene from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

• Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter by Galadriel Waters (Ed. Astre Mithrandir; Published by Wizarding World Press in 2003)

• Cadogan on the Harry Potter Wiki

• Sir Cadogan on Wizarding World

• Sybill Trelawney on Wizarding World

• Sibyls on Mythology Encyclopedia

• Sense and Sensibility (1995)

• Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

• Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994)

• Thor (2011)

• Sybil Leek, notorious psychic

• Hippogriff on the Harry Potter Lexicon

• “Hippogriffs Deserve to Die” by Draco and the Malfoys

• Divination on Wikipedia

Our Spell of the Week for this episode is Divination, which is the new course the trio begins together this year, taught by Professor Trelawney.

It’s Monday – you know us, you love us, it’s time for Podtrificus Totalus, a Harry Potter podcast done book by book, chapter by chapter.

This week we cover chapter five of Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban, in which Harry encounters a clumsy metaphor for depression – I mean, a new and foreboding creature in the magical world! – meets his new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and eats some chocolate.

We make a number of references to outside sources and popular culture, which are listed below:

• Friends at the Table and The Adventure Zone

• Brookyln 99 (TV Series)

• The Lord of the Rings series

• The scary Beowulf movie from 2007

• Romeo + Juliet (1996)

• A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin

• Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey

• An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

• Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

• Finding Nemo (2003)

• Lupin’s personality type is ENFJ, per J.K. Rowling’s Twitter (transphobia warning if you visit her account)

• JKR’s “Idle Jottings,” preserved by the Harry Potter Lexicon, which reference that the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in Prisoner of Azkaban may have been a woman at some point in the writing process

• Q&A with J.K. Rowling at the Edinburgh Book Festival (15 August 2004) on Accio Quote

• Ann Treneman interview with J.K. Rowling for The Times (30 June 2000) on Accio Quote

• Dementor on the Harry Potter Wiki

• Dementors and Chocolate on Wizarding World

Our Spell of the Week for this episode is chocolate, which seems to have some magical properties in the Harry Potter universe.

You can hear more from our guests, Kevin Rizza and Lauren Kelley, on the Why Can’t We Be Wizards podcast. Check out the show on Twitter (@WhyNotWizards) and Instagram (@WhyNotWizards). You can also find Kevin on Twitter as @RizzaKevin.