Most people think ego is either something you need to kill off entirely or inflate to take over the world. Both are wrong. In this episode, we dig deep into what ego actually is—how it evolved, why it matters, and how it secretly runs your life without you realizing it.

We hit Freud, Buddhism, David Hume, Jung’s shadow self, and even the Navy SEALs to unpack why your ego isn’t always the enemy—it’s mostly just misunderstood. Then we get into how to quiet your ego without losing your identity, and yes, we talk psychedelics, too. This is everything you were never taught about ego—but should’ve been.

Head to https://www.80000hours.org/solved to start planning a career that is meaningful, fulfilling, and helps solve one of the world’s most pressing problems.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/ego

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://membership.solvedpodcast.com

Chapters:

0:00 Introduction

3:31 Chapter 1: Defining the Indefinable — What Is the Ego?

3:33 Napoleon + Gary Snyder

10:15 The Architecture and Function of the Ego

27:15 What is a Healthy Ego?

36:14 The Philosophical Divide: Two Cultures, Two Selves

49:29 Chapter 2: The Ego’s Evolutionary Architecture — How Evolution Built the Self

49:33 Why Evolution Invented “I”

51:46 The Architecture of the Ego: From Refl ex to Reflection

1:00:33 The First Fall: When Knowing Became Our Burden

1:09:07 Why Evolution Built the Ego

1:13:08 Chapter 3: When the Ego Becomes a Tyrant

1:13:20 The Anatomy of Ego Tyranny

1:19:05 Recognizing and Disarming the Inner Dictator

1:47:29 Chapter 4: The Quiet Ego — Beyond a Strong Ego

1:47:34 When Quieter Means Stronger

1:50:58 The Science and Structure of the Quiet Ego

1:57:16 Cultivating a Quiet Ego

2:01:08 Benefits of a Quiet Ego

2:04:27 Chapter 5: The Chemical Dissolution: Ego Death and Psychedelics

2:23:16 Chapter 6: 80/20

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This is probably the most comprehensive, no-BS breakdown of boundaries you're going to find anywhere. We cover what boundaries actually are (spoiler: it’s not just telling people to f*ck off), why they matter more than you think, and how your entire life—your relationships, mental health, identity, even career—is quietly shaped by whether or not you have them.

By the end of this, you’ll know exactly how to set boundaries, how to enforce them without being a jerk, and how to stop confusing your preferences, rules, and passive-aggressive texts for actual emotional maturity. Plus, we talk about how the internet has totally mangled this concept and what to do instead. If you’ve ever felt burned out, resentful, overwhelmed, or just vaguely annoyed by everyone around you, this is for you.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/boundaries

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/boundaries

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Chapters:

(0:00) Introduction (1:29) CHAPTER 1: Foundations of Boundaries (2:05) The Breakdown: What boundaries actually are (and aren’t) (4:42) The Spectrum: Porous, Rigid, Healthy (9:06) Boundaries vs. Values, Rules, Preferences, and Requests (13:32) What happens when boundaries erode? (18:46) The Solution: Boundaries as structure and freedom (22:57) CHAPTER 2: Boundaries: Freedom Through Limitation (25:09) Creativity with Limitations (29:15) Mental Health and Limitations (38:53) Example (42:54) Boundaries and Maturity (45:20) CHAPTER 3: Why Boundaries Matter (50:00) The Basis of Boundary Formation: Values (58:30) Translating Values into Boundaries (1:04:06) The Application: Living Your Valued Boundaries (1:10:14) CHAPTER 4: Why We Fail to Set and Maintain Boundaries (1:11:11) Developmental Origins (1:22:53) Personality and Individual Differences (1:29:48) Emotional Regulation and Mental Health (1:46:06) CHAPTER 5: Types of Boundaries (1:46:53) Physical Boundaries (1:49:28) Emotional Boundaries (1:51:44) Intellectual Boundaries (1:56:02) Time Boundaries (2:00:03) Digital Boundaries (2:09:01) Financial Boundaries (2:12:42) Family boundaries (2:18:52) Friendship Boundaries (2:23:06) Work Relationship Boundaries (2:28:22) Boundaries around authority (2:30:02) Self Boundaries (2:34:39) Chapter 6: How to Set and Maintain Boundaries (3:13:37) Chapter 7: Boundaries in Romantic Relationships (3:30:52) Parenting (3:37:04) Research & Frameworks (3:40:44) Western Romance (3:44:48) CHAPTER 8: The 80/20 of Boundaries

Reset Your Brain with BrainFM: brain.fm/IDGAF

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This one’s different. In this special year-end episode, I answer your questions—from the deep stuff about purpose and motivation, to the uncomfortable realities of change, burnout, failure, and dealing with unsupportive family. I also share the behind-the-scenes chaos of building SOLVED this year, what I learned about making massive, meaningful content, and what’s coming in 2026 (spoiler: boundaries, ego, and maybe some live shows).

This is part personal, part philosophical, and part therapy session disguised as a podcast. If you’ve been wondering what’s next—or why you feel stuck—this one’s for you. See you in 2026.

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://solvedpodcast.com/qa

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Chapters:

(00:00) Introduction

(01:13) Recap of 2025

(03:42) What if I don't have a single purpose?

(06:07) Why don't I feel a strong need for purpose?

(08:32) How do I find purpose when doing things I don't find important?

(12:34) I'm having issues on getting motivated on one thing

(19:35) What if my family doesn't support my purpose?

(23:15) I'm struggling with the idea that purpose must be bigger than yourself

(26:04) How Mark got Purpose AI to work

(32:55) Questions from YouTube

(33:13) How do you change yourself?

(36:43) Finding meaning after AI takeover

(44:01) What would a Models rewrite look like today?

(48:19) Mark's first heartbreak

(54:31) What would Mark put on Voyager 1?

(57:35) Self-doubt on something you make

(1:02:12) Mark's next book?

(1:03:38) Tours around the world

(1:05:55) Goals for 2026

(1:08:14) Podcast changes for 2026

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This is the episode I’ve been waiting to make for a long time. Purpose has been at the core of everything I’ve written and done for over a decade—and in this episode, we go all the way down the rabbit hole. From Viktor Frankl surviving Auschwitz to the myth of “finding your one true purpose,” we break down what purpose really is, why you feel lost without it, and how you can build it into your life.

We also get uncomfortable (in the best way) and talk about the dark side of purpose—how it can burn you out, trap you in toxic ambition, or become an excuse to ruin your life.

And I have a very special announcement to make: Today, I’m launching a new app called Purpose. It’s an AI-powered mentor for personal growth. You talk to it about whatever you’re facing—stress, decisions, conflicts, goals—and it helps you make sense of things. Purpose listens, reflects back what matters most, and turns big challenges into small, actionable steps. The more you use it, the more personalized and helpful it becomes.

Get started in the app with a free course on finding your purpose at

https://purpose.app/solved

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with takeaways and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/purpose

Chapters: (00:00) Introduction (01:39) Victor Frankl and Finding Purpose in the Darkness (17:20) Chapter 1: Foundations: What Is Purpose? (25:44) Myths (32:50) Definition (34:55) Health (39:22) Resilience and Purpose (45:34) Chapter 2: Philosophical & Historical Perspectives on Purpose (52:47) Religion and Purpose (58:31) Descartes (1:00:11) Hume (1:04:51) Nietzsche (1:17:43) Kierkegaard (1:22:50) Ernest Becker (1:30:16) Picasso (1:31:26) Chapter 3: The Psychology of Purpose (1:36:38) Relationships (1:45:40) Ego Identity (1:49:19) Social Aspect of Purpose (1:52:32) Religiosity (2:05:14) Going back to Religion (2:08:13) Chapter 4: The Four Stages of Life (2:19:41) Trade off to Purpose (2:23:48) Transitioning in Purpose (2:31:33) Chapter 5: The Dark Side of Purpose (2:40:38) Purpose App (2:51:36) Burnout (2:54:29) Toxic Purpose (3:07:25) Chapter 6: Finding and Cultivating Purpose (3:27:04) Breakdown on finding Purpose (3:36:56) Chapter 7: Finding Purpose in Work (or Not) (3:52:55) Parenting (4:01:00) Contributing to your community (4:04:05) Hobbies (4:09:14) Chapter 8: Practical Tools and Frameworks (4:20:18) Purpose Setting (4:22:17) Finding the right tool (4:24:48) Chapter 9: The 80/20 of Living with Purpose (4:34:24) Takeaways

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We all compare ourselves to other people—our friends, coworkers, strangers on the internet—and most of the time, it makes us feel like shit. But why do we keep doing it? In this episode of Solved, we dig into the uncomfortable truth behind social comparison, how it quietly ruins our self-worth, and why most of what we envy in others is a projection of our own insecurity.

We also get into the brutal paradox of success, the toxic loop of chasing status, and how the constant measurement of our lives against others is one of the dumbest things we do as a species. If you’ve ever felt not good enough, or like you’re falling behind, this one’s for you.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/socialcomparison

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/socialcomparison

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Chapters:

0:00 Introduction

5:29 Chapter 1: Evolutionary Roots

16:20 The Emotional Toolkit

20:18 Chapter 2: Philosophy and Social Comparison

23:31 The Buddhist Path

24:58 Aristotle

34:34 Stoicism

36:24 Existentialism

40:06 Myths

48:37 Chapter 3: The Psychology of Social Comparison

58:54 Downward Comparison

1:22:19 Chapter 4: Digital Technology and Social Comparison

1:44:20 Chapter 5: The 80/20 of Managing Comparison

1:57:40 Hidden Costs

1:58:48 Takeaways

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Friendship is the most important thing nobody talks about. In this episode of The SOLVED Podcast, Drew and I dig into what makes friendships work, why they fall apart, and why so many of us are struggling to build or keep them as we get older. We’re talking loneliness stats, Darwin’s confusion about cooperation, and the deep emotional mechanics behind being a good friend—and finding one. From ancient philosophy to game theory, we break down why friendship isn’t just some social nicety—it’s a biological survival strategy. Plus: the modern forces slowly strangling our ability to connect, and exactly what to do about it. You’ll walk away with a clearer sense of what real friendship looks like, how to build it, and how to stop shooting yourself in the foot every time you try. We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/friendship Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/friendship Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 7:52 Chapter 1: Friendship: an Evolutionary Puzzle 25:45 Chapter 2: What Is Friendship? 27:11 Friendship in the Great Religious Traditions 37:21 Modern Psychology's Definition of Friendship 49:02 Chapter 3: Your Brain On Friendship 1:03:34 The Neurobiology of Connection 1:22:48 Health Benefits of Friendship 1:33:11 Chapter 4: How to Make and Maintain Friendships 1:35:19 Proximity and Repeated Contact and Reciprocal Disclosure 1:53:51 Time investment (quantity and cadence) 1:58:15 Evidence-Based Strategies for Making Friends 2:07:46 Examples Of Making Friends 2:26:50 Chapter 5: How Friendship Changes Across the Lifespan 2:54:18 Chapter 6: Gender Dynamics in Friendships 3:09:39 Can Men And Women Be Friends? 3:16:39 Chapter 7: Toxic Friendships 3:17:41 Competitive Friendship 3:21:18 Codependency 3:34:45 Chapter 8: Why It's So Hard to Make Friends These Days 3:35:48 External Headwinds: Why Getting Together Is Hard 3:53:18 Internal Frictions: Why Staying Equal Feels Impossible 4:02:45 Chapter 9: Technology's Double-Edged Impact on Human Connection 4:11:19 Mark's LA Story 4:20:21 Chapter 10: The 80/20 of Friendship 4:30:33 Chapter 11: The Trade-Offs of Friendship Produced by Drew Birnie Research by Zenya Giatzoglou, Katherine Wei, & Gage Greer Edited by SJ van Breda Director of Photography Jess Choi Thumbnail by Jonathan Sippel

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What does it actually mean to live like a Stoic? In this wide-ranging conversation with bestselling author and modern Stoicism evangelist Ryan Holiday, we unpack the origins of Stoic philosophy, why it exploded during turbulent times in ancient Greece and Rome, and how its principles—like courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom—still apply in a world filled with chaos, anxiety, and uncertainty. From shipwrecked merchants to emperors journaling their fears, this episode explores why some of the most powerful figures in history turned to Stoicism not just for answers—but for survival.

We also dig into how Stoicism overlaps with modern psychology, why it’s gaining traction among young men, and whether its rising popularity is being misunderstood or misused. If you’ve ever wondered whether Stoicism means being emotionless, if it’s compatible with ambition, or if it actually makes you a better person, this episode is your one-stop masterclass.

Order Ryan Holiday’s new book, Wisdom Takes Work: https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Takes-Work-Repeat-Virtues/dp/0593191730

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/stoicism

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a platform for like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://membership.solvedpodcast.com

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Produced by Drew Birnie Research by Zenya Giatzoglou, Katherine Wei, & Gage Greer Edited by SJ van Breda Director of Photography Jess Choi Thumbnail by Jonathan Sippel

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

02:49 Setting the Scene: Ancient Greece After Alexander

06:44 The Story of Zeno: Founder of Stoicism

13:58 The Four Stoic Virtues

44:20 Virtue 1: Courage

53:17 Virtue 2: Temperance (Discipline)

1:05:01 Virtue 3: Justice

1:08:51 Virtue 4: Wisdom

1:25:51 Roman Conquest and the Spread of Stoicism

1:33:10 Cato the Younger: The Stoic Martyr

1:39:06 Seneca: The Conflicted Philosopher

1:55:50 Epictetus: The Slave Philosopher

2:07:28 Marcus Aurelius: The Philosopher Emperor

2:20:18 Stoicism Through History

2:32:45 Stoicism and Modern Psychology

2:41:09 The Modern Stoicism Revival

2:50:06 Final Thoughts and Recommendations

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Resilience isn’t about pretending you’re fine or never feeling pain—it’s about learning how to act in your best interest despite the pain. In this episode of Solved, we dive deep into the science, psychology, and real-life examples of resilience—from Ernest Shackleton’s crew surviving two years stranded in Antarctica to my own slightly insane decision to run an endurance race with basically no training. Spoiler: I didn’t die.

We cover it all: the biology of resilience, why some people are “dandelions” and thrive anywhere while others are “orchids” who need the right environment, the mindsets that let you push through hardship without losing your mind, and why humor and community might secretly be your best survival tools. And of course, we deliver the real, practical, evidence-based strategies you can actually apply when life inevitably decides to kick you in the teeth.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or like you can’t take one more setback, this episode is for you. And if you’re one of those psychos who enjoys doing hard sh*t just to see what you’re made of… well, you’ll feel right at home here.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/resilience

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community where you can interact with like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://membership.solvedpodcast.com/

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

04:44 Chapter 1: Reframing Resilience — Definitions & Misconceptions

13:11 The Word That Started It All

16:30 Bounce Forward, Not Back

23:50 Chapter 2: Developmental and Biological Foundations of Resilience

29:26 The Evolutionary Puzzle

38:54 Chapter 3: Biological & Physiological Foundations

44:45 Training Your Brain to Be More Resilient

48:43 The HPA Axis: Our Central Stress Response System

51:19 Heart Rate Variability: The Resilience Rhythm

54:32 Physiological Interventions

1:00:07 Gut-Brain Axis

1:17:17 Chapter 4: Psychological, Philosophical & Evidence-Based Frameworks

1:20:19 The 5 Mindsets of Resilience

1:21:46 Mindset #1: Anything Is Possible

1:38:22 Mindset #2: Stories Are Just Stories

1:44:16 MIndset #3: Focus on What You Control

1:58:55 Mindset #4: Make It Fun

2:10:34 Mindset #5: Assume a Resilient Identity

2:20:21 Pheidippides

2:27:00 Chapter 5: Sociocultural & Community Dimensions

2:37:40 Social Connection and Resilience: Why Strong People Don't Go It Alone

2:45:33 Blitz Spirit: Myth vs Reality

2:48:23 How to Build Your Resilient Circle

2:57:28 Chapter 6: The 80/20 of Becoming More Resilient

3:11:36 The Hidden Costs of Resilience

3:22:25 What We Learned

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Chances are, there’s something in your life you feel deeply ashamed about—something you’ve never told anyone, something you can’t even admit to yourself. In this episode, we go deep into the emotion we all experience but almost no one wants to talk about: shame. Where it comes from, why it’s so powerful, how it screws up our lives—and more importantly, how to deal with it.

We cover the biology of shame, the psychology, the evolutionary roots, and how modern life (especially the internet) completely messes with our shame systems. We talk about healthy vs. toxic shame, how it shows up in addiction, relationships, perfectionism, and self-sabotage, and why most of us either try to hide from it or end up being controlled by it. You’ll also hear from members of my team about how shame shaped their lives in surprising ways.

As always, this episode is brutally honest, deeply researched, and sprinkled with a few bad jokes. But more than anything, I hope it gives you the awareness—and the tools—to start facing whatever it is you’ve been avoiding. Because you can’t outrun your shame. But you can learn to live with it.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/shame

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/shame

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Chapters

00:00:00 Introduction

00:04:35 Chapter 1: Shame's Hidden Architecture

00:14:38 Chapter 2: Key Definitions

00:18:32 Distinguishing Shame from Guilt

00:20:49 State Shame vs. Trait Shame

00:21:47 Shame vs. Embarrassment and Humiliation

00:24:03 Shame, Trauma, and their Interrelationship

00:25:14 Chapter 3: The Neurobiology of Shame

00:29:56 The Shame Spiral

00:36:04 The Learning Paradox of Shame

00:44:12 Chapter 4: The Shame Compass

00:47:33 Personal Experiences with Shame

00:49:21 Workaholism as a Coping Mechanism

00:59:13 The Allure of Shamelessness

01:01:15 Chapter 5: Individual, Familial, & Cultural Sources of Shame

01:11:05 Geographical Impact on Shame

01:13:08 Cultural Values and Shame

01:14:35 How the Greater Culture Shapes Shame

01:26:12 Chapter 6: Digital Technology & Shame 2.0

01:28:02 The Digital Divide

01:31:05 The Relationship Between Technology and Anxiety

01:33:55 Protection Strategies

01:39:21 Chapter 7: Developmental Stages of Shame

01:40:19 Understanding the Origin of Shame

01:42:57 The Role of Parenting in Shame Development

01:56:49 Chapter 8: How Therapy Transformed Our Understanding of Shame

02:01:06 Carl Rogers and the Safety Revolution

02:07:31 Albert Ellis and the Cognitive Revolution

02:11:58 The Influence of Albert Ellis and Carl Rogers

02:13:31 The Emergence of Reparenting and Inner Child Work

02:17:18 The Rise of Internal Family System

02:20:24 Brene Brown's Work on Shame

02:27:59 Chapter 9: Tools to Address Your Shame

02:40:19 Stoic Principles for Perspective

02:47:05 Perspective Shifting Techniques

02:58:26 Chapter 10: Tuning Your Shame System

03:10:39 Recognizing Unsustainable Shame Patterns

03:16:28 Kristen Neff's Self-Compassion Framework

03:25:33 Understanding Shame as Obsession and Resentment

03:29:53 Overcoming Shame and Personal Growth

03:31:39 Takeaways fr...

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Everyone’s obsessed with being happy—but what if that obsession is the very thing making us miserable? In this episode of Solved, Drew and I explore what actually makes us feel good—and why most of us are chasing it in all the wrong ways.

We unpack what philosophers like Aristotle and the Buddha got right thousands of years ago—and how modern science is just now catching up. We talk about hedonic vs. eudaimonic happiness, why more money and status don’t necessarily move the needle, and why most self-help advice completely misses the point. Happiness isn’t something you get. It’s a side effect of doing the right things for the right reasons.

So, if you're tired of chasing "more" and ready to actually feel a little less miserable, this one’s for you.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/happiness

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/happiness

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Chapters:

0:00 Introduction

10:42 Chapter 1: The Origins of Human Happiness

11:04 Hedonia vs Eudaimonia

15:11 Epicureanism

23:20 Eastern Perspectives

27:15 Modern Happiness Research

29:30 Chapter 2: The WEIRD Problem: When Happiness Research Goes West

40:47 Chapter 3: The Three Components of Happiness

46:44 Hedonic Adaptation

59:53 Chapter 4: What Does—and Doesn't—Make Us Happy

1:00:35 Drugs and Alcohol

1:07:23 Sex

1:15:09 Money

1:23:10 Fame and Status

1:37:26 Geography and Environment

1:39:51 Love and Relationships

1:41:19 Friendships

1:44:04 Having Children

1:49:10 The Experiencing vs. Remembering Self

1:52:53 Chapter 5: Baseline vs. Circumstantial vs. Intentional Happiness

1:53:35 Genetics

1:59:50 Circumstances

2:02:16 Intentional Actions

2:06:13 Relationships

2:10:51 Gratitude

2:13:13 Altruism

2:18:47 Experiences vs. Stuff

2:22:12 Implementing Intentional Happiness

2:24:21 Chapter 6: Don't Pursue Happiness; Remove Unhappiness

2:29:05 Social Comparison

2:31:30 Maximizers vs. Satisficers

2:34:19 Chapter 7: How Happiness Changes Across the Lifespan

2:51:44 Chapter 8: Happiness Myths

3:04:47 Chapter 9: The 80/20 Guide to Happiness

3:16:22 Lessons Learned

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What are emotions? Why do we feel anything at all? And more importantly — can we actually get better at feeling?

In this episode, Drew and I dive headfirst into what might be the hardest question in all of psychology: what the actual f**k are emotions? We break down the biology, neuroscience, evolution, culture, and even language that shape how we feel — and why we often don’t understand what the hell is going on inside us. From ancient philosophy to brain scans, this is a deep (and occasionally weird) look into the emotional chaos that makes us human.

We unpack everything from the origins of emotional intelligence (spoiler: it might be BS) to the science of emotional regulation, attachment styles, and the sneaky ways your culture wires your emotional defaults. Along the way, we explore why some relationships make you feel like a better person while others drain the life out of you, and how trauma, genetics, and childhood with your ability to keep it together.

But this episode isn’t just about understanding emotions — it’s about learning how to work with them. And we give you a full emotional toolkit: a set of evidence-based tools to help you manage your emotions, build better relationships, feel more motivated, and yes — even feel more confident in yourself in the process.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/emotions

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/emotions

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Chapters:

0:00:00 Introduction

0:04:47 Chapter 1: What Are Emotions?

0:14:04 The Emotional Brain

0:22:03 Neurotransmitters

0:34:25 Evolution of Emotions

0:39:53 How Life Experiences Shape Emotional Regulation

0:48:41 Conclusion on What are Emotions

0:49:45 Chapter 2: How Culture Influences Our Emotions

0:55:44 Vietnam Bike Story

1:00:05 Your Culture Trains You to Want Certain Feelings

1:06:00 Culture Decides Whether Suppression is a Superpower or a Liability

1:07:56 Paradox of Emotional Conformity

1:16:36 How Language Shapes What You Feel

1:29:23 Emotional Complexity

1:36:25 Your Emotions Are Social Currency

1:43:00 Conclusion to Culture defines our emotions

1:44:08 Chapter 3: Historical and Philosophical Traditions on Emotions

1:57:21 Modern Culture

1:59:00 Chapter 4: The Four Schools of Emotional Regulation

2:00:56 The Heart

2:08:55 The Head

2:18:37 The Soul

2:28:50 The Body

2:36:23 The Integrated Toolkit

2:48:25 Chapter 5: Brilliant or Bullshit: Emotional Intelligence

2:57:31 Chapter 6: Relationships and Emotional Regulation

3:09:54 Attachment Theory

3:27:29 Toxic Relationship

3:36:49 Building Emotional Compatibility

3:51:24 Conclusion Relationships

3:57:24 Chapter 7: 80/20

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