Those who can, plan; those who can't, plan scenarios. At any rate, that seems to be how the Dutch government is preparing for the impending crisis triggered by the war in Iran and blockade of the Strait of Hormuz. It wasn't enough to stop the king and queen's visit to the other orange king in the White House going ahead: the royal couple avoided any embarrassing mishaps, unless you count the faux pas of talking about last season's coup. Three men have appeared in court accused of organising the Drents Museum heist, while three major cyberhacks at Dutch companies have exposed the private details of millions of customers across Europe. And we explain why tough new asylum laws could have unexpected and unpleasant consequences for international workers who lose their jobs.

The Netherlands promises to help keep the Strait of Hormuz open, but only once the hellfire has died down. Continuing the theme of negotiating with scoundrels, curators in Assen and Bucharest breathe a sigh of relief following the safe return of the golden helmet that was stolen from the Drents Museum last year. In a victory for vested interests, the Senate is set to vote down the cabinet's plans to delay the state retirement age. Student finance agency Duo will pay €80 million in compensation for carrying out anti-fraud checks that focused disproportionately on ethnic minorities. And PSV Eindhoven finally stagger over the line to claim their third Eredivisie title in a row.

As political parties around the country come together to form council administrations, the far-right Forum voor Democratie rage against the mainstream by falling apart. The government decides the best way to conserve energy during the escalating fuel crisis is to stand still and do nothing. Motorists are inundated by fake fines in the wake of the Odido hack. Dozens of Eredivisie footballers turn out to have been playing in a legal grey area. And a collapsing floor in Maastricht reveals the remains of a legendary French hero.

All parties claim victory after this week's local elections, but the real winners were the local parties, who took more than one-third of the total vote. The losers were Rob Jetten and Carola Schouten, who recklessly promised to abseil down the Euromast tower if turnout went up. We bring you a run-down of the results and the main talking points, including a huge comeback win for Richard de Mos in The Hague and gains by the far-right Forum voor Democratie. Elsewhere, Jetten performs a dramatic U-turn in the heavily mined Strait of Hormuz to join an international coalition to protect shipping. Amsterdam remains Europe's party drug capital but loses its cocaine crown to Antwerp, according to an analysis of city sewage. And in sport, Dick Advocaat is back in business at Feyenoord and Jetta Leerdam's speed suit is not what it seems.

With a week to go until the local elections, we provide a Dutch News crash course in how to vote and find your way through the jungle of local parties. Rob Jetten's cabinet rules out emergency measures to cut fuel prices, while pressure grows to keep the Groningen gas fields open. Chip manufacturer ASML unveils plans to expand its campus in Eindhoven. The Council of State tells the government to think again on Schiphol flights. And in sport, Max Verstappen hopes to rally in Nuremberg after crashing out in Melbourne.

As local elections approach, we talk to polling expert and political scientist Tom Louwerse about the kaleidoscopic range of candidate and parties on offer and how voters can make sense of it all. Rob Jetten's first week as prime minister proves to be a bumpy ride, and not just because he's travelling by road to Brussels. The cabinet comes under fire from all sides as it tries to support Donald Trump and uphold international law at the same time. Unions threaten strikes after walking out of a meeting on the coalition‘s plans to make everyone retire later and then cut their nursing care. And in sport, Jutta Leerdam‘s speed skating suit leaves the competition for dust in an online fundraising auction.

Rob Jetten starts work as prime minister by shaking hands with Olympic heroes and doing backroom deals with PVV refuseniks. Mona Keijzer creates an unstable situation in farmers' party BBB after being passed over for the leadership. Internet provider Odido is in double trouble after hackers leak its customers' data. And art historians get a surprise when they view a collection of "very nice" etchings.

Rob Jetten starts his term one finance minister short of a full cabinet after Natalie van Berkel is found to have inflated her credentials on LinkedIn. More new homes are being built, but not enough to tackle the housing shortage or cool the property market. The armed forces are struggling to recruit chefs, mechanics and other support staff in the battle to spend the extra Nato billions. A new rail link is planned to connect Eindhoven to Brussels. And the Dutch shorttrack skaters eclipse the stars of the big oval at the Winter Olympics.

*Apologies to regular listeners for the short format, which was caused by a technical hiccup. Normal service, or what passes for it, will be resumed next week. The new government of D66, VVD and CDA gets straight down to work, suffering its first defeats in parliament before the ministers have even been sworn in. Nearly 100 people are stripped of their citizenship for the equally grievous offences of supporting international terrorism and refusing to give up a second passport. Celebrity boxer Jake Paul crumbles again as Jutta Leerdam claims the Dutch speed skating team's first gold medal in Milan. And AI solves the mystery of an ancient Roman board game that may have inspired the latest coalition negotiations.

The coalition talks wrap up in record time with Rob Jetten announcing plans for everyone to work longer and pay more for nursing care when they retire. In an early test of the coalition's discipline, Dilan Yesilgöz surprises finance minister Eelco Heinen by blurting his cabinet appointment into the first microphone that drifts her way. Local government taxes go up by 6.5%, with the steepest rises in Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Utrecht. An alleged double agent goes on trial accused of passing secrets to Moroccan intelligence for 30 years. And in sport, the Dutch skating team sharpen their blades for the Winter Olympics while PSV take another giant step to the Eredivisie title.

Rob Jetten takes a big step towards becoming the Netherlands' youngest ever prime minister as D66, VVD and CDA agree to form a minority cabinet. The chips are down for managers at ASML as the company announces 1,700 layoffs despite posting record profits. New commemorative panels at Margraten war cemetery only partly dispel the anger over the erasure of the Black Liberators, just as Donald Trump's crass outburst raises the hackles of Dutch Nato soldiers. The Netherlands is told to do more to protect Bonaire from climate change. And Dutch clubs round off a calamitous Champions League season with a pair of home defeats.