As political parties around the country come together to form council administrations, the far-right Forum voor Democratie rage against the mainstream by falling apart. The government decides the best way to conserve energy during the escalating fuel crisis is to stand still and do nothing. Motorists are inundated by fake fines in the wake of the Odido hack. Dozens of Eredivisie footballers turn out to have been playing in a legal grey area. And a collapsing floor in Maastricht reveals the remains of a legendary French hero.

All parties claim victory after this week's local elections, but the real winners were the local parties, who took more than one-third of the total vote. The losers were Rob Jetten and Carola Schouten, who recklessly promised to abseil down the Euromast tower if turnout went up. We bring you a run-down of the results and the main talking points, including a huge comeback win for Richard de Mos in The Hague and gains by the far-right Forum voor Democratie. Elsewhere, Jetten performs a dramatic U-turn in the heavily mined Strait of Hormuz to join an international coalition to protect shipping. Amsterdam remains Europe's party drug capital but loses its cocaine crown to Antwerp, according to an analysis of city sewage. And in sport, Dick Advocaat is back in business at Feyenoord and Jetta Leerdam's speed suit is not what it seems.

With a week to go until the local elections, we provide a Dutch News crash course in how to vote and find your way through the jungle of local parties. Rob Jetten's cabinet rules out emergency measures to cut fuel prices, while pressure grows to keep the Groningen gas fields open. Chip manufacturer ASML unveils plans to expand its campus in Eindhoven. The Council of State tells the government to think again on Schiphol flights. And in sport, Max Verstappen hopes to rally in Nuremberg after crashing out in Melbourne.

As local elections approach, we talk to polling expert and political scientist Tom Louwerse about the kaleidoscopic range of candidate and parties on offer and how voters can make sense of it all. Rob Jetten's first week as prime minister proves to be a bumpy ride, and not just because he's travelling by road to Brussels. The cabinet comes under fire from all sides as it tries to support Donald Trump and uphold international law at the same time. Unions threaten strikes after walking out of a meeting on the coalition‘s plans to make everyone retire later and then cut their nursing care. And in sport, Jutta Leerdam‘s speed skating suit leaves the competition for dust in an online fundraising auction.

Rob Jetten starts work as prime minister by shaking hands with Olympic heroes and doing backroom deals with PVV refuseniks. Mona Keijzer creates an unstable situation in farmers' party BBB after being passed over for the leadership. Internet provider Odido is in double trouble after hackers leak its customers' data. And art historians get a surprise when they view a collection of "very nice" etchings.

Rob Jetten starts his term one finance minister short of a full cabinet after Natalie van Berkel is found to have inflated her credentials on LinkedIn. More new homes are being built, but not enough to tackle the housing shortage or cool the property market. The armed forces are struggling to recruit chefs, mechanics and other support staff in the battle to spend the extra Nato billions. A new rail link is planned to connect Eindhoven to Brussels. And the Dutch shorttrack skaters eclipse the stars of the big oval at the Winter Olympics.

*Apologies to regular listeners for the short format, which was caused by a technical hiccup. Normal service, or what passes for it, will be resumed next week. The new government of D66, VVD and CDA gets straight down to work, suffering its first defeats in parliament before the ministers have even been sworn in. Nearly 100 people are stripped of their citizenship for the equally grievous offences of supporting international terrorism and refusing to give up a second passport. Celebrity boxer Jake Paul crumbles again as Jutta Leerdam claims the Dutch speed skating team's first gold medal in Milan. And AI solves the mystery of an ancient Roman board game that may have inspired the latest coalition negotiations.

The coalition talks wrap up in record time with Rob Jetten announcing plans for everyone to work longer and pay more for nursing care when they retire. In an early test of the coalition's discipline, Dilan Yesilgöz surprises finance minister Eelco Heinen by blurting his cabinet appointment into the first microphone that drifts her way. Local government taxes go up by 6.5%, with the steepest rises in Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Utrecht. An alleged double agent goes on trial accused of passing secrets to Moroccan intelligence for 30 years. And in sport, the Dutch skating team sharpen their blades for the Winter Olympics while PSV take another giant step to the Eredivisie title.

Rob Jetten takes a big step towards becoming the Netherlands' youngest ever prime minister as D66, VVD and CDA agree to form a minority cabinet. The chips are down for managers at ASML as the company announces 1,700 layoffs despite posting record profits. New commemorative panels at Margraten war cemetery only partly dispel the anger over the erasure of the Black Liberators, just as Donald Trump's crass outburst raises the hackles of Dutch Nato soldiers. The Netherlands is told to do more to protect Bonaire from climate change. And Dutch clubs round off a calamitous Champions League season with a pair of home defeats.

Chaotic scenes in The Hague as seven PVV MPs break away, leaving Geert Wilders's party with the same number of members as it had before (one). The cabinet is urged to save Dutch residents' DigiD data from the Trump Administration if the service is sold to the States. Experts warn thieves are targeting museums after an entire collection of antique silver disappears in Doesburg. Drug traffickers are abandoning cocaine, sometimes literally, as customs checks step up. In sport, Ajax win again in the Champions League, skaters dominate the Winter Olympics team and Botic van de Zandschulp earns a plum tie at the Australian Open.

The new coalition leaders signal a break from unstable political experiments by forming a minority government that depends on the support of parties they turned down as partners. Greenland breathes a sigh of relief as the Dutch dispatch a lone naval officer to defend it against the US army. Contrasting fortunes in Amsterdam as the AEX soars past 1,000 points while Ajax crash to their worst cup defeat in 99 years. And art experts find two huge Easter eggs concealed in one of the Mauritshuis's best known paintings.