Lara and Carey discuss the Michael Jackson harrowing biopic’s grip over LA, Mia from SoHo dropping a West/Amanda bomb on WWHL, Elizabeth Smart’s bodybuilding turn, and more.

On Southern Hospitality, Joe Bradley’s 30th Emo Bash is finally here, and Charleston’s greatest fail-son comes crawling back to Maddi for forgiveness. TJ joins Michols for a whirlwind work trip in NYC, where Michols takes model meetings and becomes the face of Men’s Warehouse. Julia catches wind of a new lie Emmy is telling about Brad which ups “Unsafe Gate” into new levels of adderall-tinged racism. At Joe’s party, the crew has varying degrees of accurate with their emo representations; Lake debuts her lady friend and has one too many Four Lokos, prompting an ill-advised confrontation with Mia. Julia calls out Emmy — inexplicably channeling Britney Spears in “Hit Me Baby”— who, in turn, nearly self-combusts.

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Lara and Carey are back to discuss Mx. Sweeney’s cut from The Devil Wears Prada 2, the cosmic rindomness of Euphoria season 3, Snooki’s cancer diagnosis, Kendall Jenner and Elordi’s boring hot union and more.

Then on The Valley, Doute’s postpartum goes to DEFCON ONE on girls night with Brit and Jasmine. Brittany spills the beans about her newly minted relationship with Brandon and Danny slaps on a breastfeeding device for men, driving Nia further into psychosis. Schwartz, Jason and Jesse get pedicures and flirt with the receptionist at the salon. The boys gather at a cigar bar to broker peace between Danny and Jason. Schwartz, Lala, Michelle head to the infamous Belmont for a singles night; Michelle and Lala concoct a scheme to book Schwartz up with Michelle’s friend Natalie, but the receptionist from the pedicure place shows up with other plans for Mister Tilapia. Luke and Doute’s date night at the bar goes south fast when Kristen drags Luke for drunken couch sleeping and flopbeat dad territory.

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Lara and Carey discuss Clavicular’s live-streamed overdose, his tragic beauty and methification, and why sober gays in West Hollywood could save him. They also talk Lena Dunham’s new memoir, the “Love Trapped” podcast, Alix Earle and Alex Cooper feud gaining a one Brianna “Chickenfry” LaPaglia and more.

Then on The Valley, Britt continues her sparkle venture with a boob reduction consolation and further plans for a Mommy Makeover with Big Mama Doute in tow. Luke and Jason meet for coffee as Luke lambasts Jason’s choice words for Danny as the girls (minus Rindom Jinet) head out into the dregs of Hollywood for a Y2K Ladies Night. Jasmine gets into it with Lala and Michelle get into it and Nia breastfeeds in a party bus. Brandon enters frame and takes Brittany out for a date noight, asking to make their relationship official over what else but SHAWTS. Then Danny and Nia host a cowboy party in Santa Clarita, where Glug Glug reverts to cowboy mode, driving Nia further into madness. Brandon inserts himself into the Lala/Michelle/Jasmine drama, giving shades of Jax; Schwartz transforms into Jim Jones.  

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Lara and Carey head on out to King’s Street to check in with our favorite psychos in Charleston. But first they discuss Caitlyn Jenner seeking half a mill from her late BFF Sophia, ATVing into the abyss, and Caitlyn’s American tragedy.

On Southern Hospitality, the tube day ends with an overalls and steak fest at the house. Lake and Michols hash it out over Lake’s faux pas, Emmy tries and fails to smooth things with Brad and reports to white woman on the verge once more, Justin and Mia smooch, and TJ and Michols bang it out to RHOSLC. Back at home, Maddi reaches a breaking point with Joe Bradley’s flop ways, proposing a relationship hiatus if he can’t get his partying under control. With his Emo 30th extravaganza on the horizon, Joe doesn’t take it well.  

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Lara and Carey return to the San Fernando Valley for more glimpses into the abyss, but first they discuss the possibility of Devil Wears Prada 2 being iconic, the rindom new Vogue cover featuring Meryl Streep and Anna Wintour, new details about Lacy from The Valley’s kidnapping, typhus in LA, Natasha Lyonne’s Delta incident, awkwardness on The Euphoria red carpet and more.

On The Valley, Larz and Carz wonder if that’s all there is? Who are these people, really? Who is Schwartz? Who is Lala? Jasmine? Michelle? None of these people really make sense, which is fitting for a time that doesn’t make sense. But still… we soldier through. Zack is forced on more bro dates, this time with Glug Glug Danny to the vasectomy doctor to get his balls inspected, and forced to be the voice of reason, this time questioning Brittany’s burgeoning flop relationship with Brandon. Doute and Luke finally fuck and Schwartz and Michelle do a salt room soundbars date and talk about sad things; Lacy demonstrates her total domination over Jesse. Lala invites everyone and their babies over for yet another sip-and-see for her baby, as Janet begins a humiliation tour of apologizing to everyone, including Jasmine and Nia, and getting nothing in return. Back in the Santa Clarita Horror, Danny pitches more sex with Nia, who — hovering somewhere above her body — contemplates how long she has before she runs away and starts a new life.

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Lara and Carey return to Charleston to check in with our favorite staff at Republic. But first, they discuss Jen Shah’s first post-prison interview with PEOPLE, her close friendship with Elizabeth “Lizzie” Holmes, their bonding of poop duty, not fucking with Ghislaine and more.

Back on Soho, Joe Bradley prepares for his emo night themed 30th birthday bash, as foot model TJ and Maddi plan for a river getaway at a rindom Airbnb in the woods. Emmy — in a place of quasi-denial — tries and fails to make up with Brad, entering a place of full, categorical denial over her micro-aggression. At the gator-riddled river, Justin admits to drinking piss for cash, Joe and Maddi’s relationship enters the next phase of bed death, Molly continues her MVP streak, and Michols gives Lake the cold shoulder over inadvertently blabbing to Emmy. Pushed to the brink by the loss of her gay, Lake reverts to Dune cosplay and calling her mom, who offers no sympathy.  

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Lara and Carey return to the San Fernando to burn in the blinding light of Brittany’s sparkle, but first they discuss 2026’s (paltry) answer to Scandoval: Amanda and West’s shuncking affair. They enlist one Dorothy O’Donnell to weigh in on the drama and then discuss what Ciara’s next steps should be, America holding Amanda Batula more accountable than the people in the Epstein files, and why Kyle deserves no grace.

Then on the season premiere of ‘The Valley,’ our favorite residents of Hetero Hell check in for another round, this time without Jax. Brittany continues to get her sparkle back with a new rebound man and entering a place of sitcom character psychosis. Mother Doute enters her own post-pregnancy malaise as Luke laments their lack of intimacy as his plans for a future militia are put on hold. Michelle and Jesse continue their non-divorce psychosexual cat and mouse game; Jasmine and her fiancée plan their wedding and Rindom Janet reels from being yelled at by Doute with a baby on her hip. Zack catches up with Tilapia Schwartz who’s in a true Backrooms-style maze of flop as Lala wonders if Luke was her sperm donor. Danny and Nia’s Santa Clarita Horror is complete as they plan for Nia’s co-Sip and See for baby #4 and Doute’s baby Kaia. Any baby-serene at the party is squashed by the arrival of Jesse’s OC girlfriend Lacy, who confronts Michelle with California cheer and barely contained menace. We are so back.

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Lara and Carey return to push through the dog days of Q1. They discuss Shia’s latest terrorism in New Orleans, Chappell Roan’s bearish bodyguard breaking his silence, Melania’s rindom catwalk with a thigh gap robot, Lindy West’s polyamorous Hell continuing on, Taylor Frankie Paul still getting her Bachelorette salary, United Airlines throwing us peasants a bone, and more.

On the latest Southern Hospitality, Grace Lily is thrown out of Gays and Girls Night at Molly’s after heckling Maddi and pegging accusations; she later meets a sober coach to discuss treatment for a Wavy Baby Ketamine addiction. Lake discusses her father quasi-disowning her after she came out as bisexual and feeling singled out by Brad over Emmy Gate. Brad throws a party to celebrate his burgeoning fitness empire and Emmy tries to explain her definition of micro-aggression.

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Lara and Carey talk climate change heat woes in Los Angeles, seeking safety in the Blue Zones, Clavicular’s magnum opus streaming clip, needing Clav to come out, the Dune Part Three trailer, harrowing lighting at the Vanity Fair Oscars party, and more.

On Southern Hospitality, Emmy is confronted again for her micro aggression towards Brad as TJ and Molly chime in with their own grievances with She Hulk. Emmy wins everyone back, for now, by breaking her two year sobriety streak. Out on the town, TJ and Michols make out and Justin sucks Mia’s belly button in the most seismically bisexual-adjacent manner. At work the next day, Joe Bradley resurrects his “Joey Bottles,” Emmy pretends to be good with everyone again, and Molly throws a Gays and Girls pajama party (minus Emmy). A belligerent Grace Lilly wages war against Maddi, claiming she knows a secret that could change everything.

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Lara and Carey return to the swampy source for another recap of Southern Hospitality. But first they talk the new historic Devil Wears Prada 2 purse popcorn bucket at AMC, another win for NBC Universal after Kelley and Scott Wolfe reunited at Universal Studios Hollywood, and a deep dive into the first two episodes of Ladies of London: The New Reign.

Then on Southern Hospitality, Maddi’s new- brawl with TJ is quelled by making shaky peace with Brad, who reveals the real, shocking reason he’s fallen out with Emmy. TJ enters new straight guy psychosis after falling under the slutty spell of new guy and resident fuccboi Justin. Joe Bradley botched an attempt at pitching himself to Leva to invest in a new bar and Queen Mia returns from Hawaii, down a boyfriend but up in dignity. Then, at Brad and Julia’s anniversary party, Maddi and Mia get into it over a cutout vandalism and group chat denials. Emmy does wall sits out back, preparing for her big exit from the party on next week’s episode…

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