• 33 minutes 23 seconds
    Fresh Take: Dr. Özgür Bolat on the Real Science of Motivating Kids

    We think of rewarding kids as a surefire way to get the behavior we want. But what if rewards mainly serve to underline our children's intrinsic drive to succeed? Dr. Özgür Bolat, education scientist and author of The Reward Trap: Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science for Motivating Kids, explains why rewarding kids may actually undermine their motivation in the long run.

    As Dr. Bolat explains, there's a difference between motivation and compliance. Rewards can get children to do something, but they don't necessarily create the ownership, engagement, or intrinsic motivation parents actually want.

    In this episode, we discuss:

    • How rewards can change the way children view an activity
    • Hedonic adaptation and why rewards often need to get bigger to have the same effect
    • The connection between rewards, praise, and controlling parenting
    • How autonomy-enhancing parenting differs from control
    • Why family chores can help children develop a sense of responsibility and prosocial values
    • Mastery orientation vs. performance orientation, and how each affects children's anxiety and motivation
    • Why focusing too heavily on grades, competition, and achievement can create performance anxiety
    • How parents can encourage curiosity and help kids find motivation even in subjects they don't initially enjoy
    • The role of flow in learning and why children become deeply engaged when a task matches their skill level
    • Why differentiated learning matters—and what happens when work is too easy or too difficult
    • How rewards and competition in school can contribute to learned helplessness
    • Why understanding big concepts can actually help children remember facts and information
    • Dr. Bolat's PEACE model for building connection with children
    • How getting curious about the reason behind a child's behavior can reveal what they actually need
    • Why a homework problem may be a symptom of a much bigger issue around fear, judgment, or connection

    Here's where you can find Dr. Bolat:

    What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

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    14 August 2026, 5:30 am
  • 43 minutes
    Helping Our Kids Feel Seen

    What happens when one child’s needs take up most of a family’s attention? Even when parents are doing their best, it can be easy for another child to quietly become the “easy” one—the independent kid, the high achiever, the people-pleaser who never seems to need anything.

    In this episode, we discuss:

    • What the term glass child means and why some children can become overlooked
    • How hyperindependence can be both a strength and a sign that a child doesn't feel comfortable asking for help
    • Why people-pleasing isn't inherently a bad quality—and when it can become a problem
    • How being the “easy,” responsible, or high-achieving child can lead to perfectionism
    • Why some kids learn to hide anger, sadness, resentment, or other difficult emotions
    • The importance of making space for children to express complicated feelings without judgment
    • How small-T trauma and difficult family dynamics can affect kids even when their experiences don't seem “bad enough” compared with someone else's
    • Why children may act out or seek negative attention when they're feeling overlooked
    • How parents can use short, intentional moments of one-on-one connection to help every child feel seen
    • The idea behind the 7-minute rule: finding small windows of distraction-free connection throughout the day
    • How connection can look different at different ages, from play and cuddling with young children to mentorship and open communication with teens
    • Why you don't need to perfectly balance your attention every single day to make your kids feel loved and supported

    Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

    What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    12 August 2026, 9:30 am
  • 48 minutes 38 seconds
    DEEP DIVE: When School Projects Become Parents' Projects (and How to Push Back)

    This "Deep Dive" series revisits a few of our past episodes on back-to-school challenges such as the morning rush, school projects which require lots of parental oversight, and how to help our kids navigate intensifying academic pressure. Whether it’s the science fair, the pinewood derby, or a pre-K shoebox diorama, sooner or later every kid gets assigned a school project that is, without question, a PARENTS' project. What four-year-old can fashion her own “Dress As Your Patron Saint” costume? What sixth-grader can attempt proper MLA citation format without extreme maternal participation? 

    It’s not so much the projects we mind— it’s the feeling that however we handle it, we’re doing it wrong. If we make the origami cranes for the kid, we’re snowplow parents. If we send them in with a social studies project they made entirely themselves out of paper plates and crayons, we also own their cheek-burning shame when their projects pale in comparison to the professionally produced ones of their peers. 

    In this episode, we discuss how to discern the right amount of help such projects require: not too much, and not too little. Sure, we can help our kids win the battle of the pinewood derby… but we really want to win the war of having our kids who can someday accomplish things all by themselves.

     

    Here’s links to research and other writing we discuss in this episode: 

    What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    10 August 2026, 5:30 am
  • 42 minutes 45 seconds
    Fresh Take: Michael McLeod on ADHD and Executive Function

    Kids (and adults) with ADHD don't actually have a deficit of attention. Today, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is more properly understood as a deficit of executive function— and as this week's guest ⁠Michael McLeod⁠, founder of GrowNOW ADHD and author of ⁠THE EXECUTIVE FUNCTION PLAYBOOK⁠, explains, executive function means a whole lot more than a messy backpack.

    To help kids with ADHD succeed, Michael argues, parents need to help children strengthen the internal skills that lead to lifelong independence. In this interview, drawing from his decades of experience working with families whose kids are growing up with ADHD, Michael explains his four-pillar framework for developing executive functioning skills: self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, and self-evaluation.


    In this episode, you'll learn:

    • How self-awareness and "time blindness" can affect daily life when you have ADHD
    • Why novel experiences are crucial opportunities for kids with ADHD
    • How exposure to screens intensifies ADHD symptoms
    • Why negative attention feels great to the ADHD brain
    • How to support ADHD kids without lowering expectations for their capability

    Here's where you can find Michael:

    What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    7 August 2026, 5:30 am
  • 43 minutes 28 seconds
    People Must Be Pretending to Enjoy This

    Are you certain that people are only pretending to enjoy cilantro? Or mah jongg? We asked our listeners to tell us the things they're convinced no one actually likes. From complicated board games to high school graduations, we discuss the most nominated to be overrated.

    Here's the link to all of the hilarious answers people gave in our Facebook group!


    What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    5 August 2026, 5:30 am
  • 43 minutes 3 seconds
    DEEP DIVE: Back-to-School Back-to-Ones

    This "Deep Dive" series revisits a few of our past episodes on back-to-school challenges such as the morning rush, school projects which require lots of parental oversight, and how to help our kids navigate intensifying academic pressure.

    Getting-ready playlists? Choosing outfits the night before? Bringing snacks to the pickup line? We asked our audience about their favorite back-to-school tips... and we also allowed some venting about back-to-school craziness as well.

    Amy and Margaret discuss:

    • To make lunch or not to make lunch
    • How to keep outfits clean at breakfast
    • The best time to grocery shop


    Here are links to resources mentioned in the episode:

    Read the full Facebook thread here and if you're not already part of our amazing group, you can join at www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast!

    Watch the short film Amy mentions: "How Was Your Day?" directed by Allison Hadar and Maddie Corman


    What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    3 August 2026, 5:30 am
  • 41 minutes 16 seconds
    Fresh Take: Kristen McNeely on Helping Kids Overcome Anxiety and School Refusal

    Childhood anxiety is on the rise. Parents are often unsure how to respond, and in their well-intentioned efforts to reassure their kids, can sometimes reinforce the anxious patterns. In this interview Kristen McNeely, LMFT, explains how parents can start to help their kids build resilience by taking small, manageable steps toward the things that might scare them.

    We also discuss school refusal—why it's more complicated than simply not wanting to go to school; the warning signs parents should watch for; and why collaboration between parents, schools, and mental health professionals is essential.

    Kristen explains why school refusal often begins with school avoidance, how transition years like kindergarten and middle school increase risk, and why pulling kids out of school is rarely an effective long-term solution.

    Amy, Margaret, and Kristen also discuss:

    • Why parental accommodations can unintentionally fuel anxiety
    • The difference between validating feelings and reinforcing fear
    • Why gradual exposure works better than avoidance
    • The four common drivers of school refusal
    • How ADHD, autism, and separation anxiety can increase risk
    • Why helping kids feel connected to their school community matters
    • How parent-focused treatments like SPACE can improve childhood anxiety—even without the child in therapy sessions

    Here's where you can find Kristen:

    What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    31 July 2026, 5:30 am
  • 45 minutes 12 seconds
    Everything You've Always Wanted to Ask A Pediatrician, with Dr. Mary Martin

    All too often, we leave our kids' pediatric appointments only to remember what we really wanted to ask when we're on the drive home. Fear not: Dr. Mary Martin is in, and she's answering all our burning pediatric-medicine questions.

    Margaret and Dr. Mary Martin cover all the the topics most likely fill parents' search histories and social media feeds, separating medical facts from internet misinformation and offering practical, judgment-free advice.

    You'll learn:

    • How to navigate vaccine misinformation
    • Why pediatricians continue to recommend the "ABCs" of safe sleep
    • When it's OK stop comparing your child to everyone else's
    • The babyproofing essentials that actually matter
    • Why reading to babies is so powerful, even before they can talk.
    • How to handle picky eating without turning every meal into a battle
    • The leading causes of preventable childhood injuries and simple ways to reduce risk
    • Practical guidance on screen time, social media, vaping, caffeine, and substance use
    • How to build trust so your child feels comfortable talking about difficult topics like sex, drugs, mental health, and body changes
    • Why finding a pediatrician you trust may be one of the best parenting decisions you make

    Here are links to some of our other episodes we mentioned:

    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    29 July 2026, 5:30 am
  • 46 minutes 37 seconds
    DEEP DIVE: Emily Cherkin on Tech-Intentional Parenting

    This month, our "Deep Dive" is into some of our past episodes about screen time: the effects it has on our kids, how tech companies engineer their devices to be as addictive as possible, and how we can allow our kids to enjoy screens with supportive limits.

    Is screen use a daily battle of wills in your house? ⁠Emily Cherkin⁠, author of the new book ⁠"THE SCREENTIME SOLUTION: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family,"⁠ explains how to model a healthy relationship with tech for our kids.

    Emily Cherkin, MEd., consults with parents, offers school presentations and professional development training, and brings her tech-intentional approach to as many people as possible.

    Emily and Margaret discuss:

    • What "tech-intentional" really means and how it's different from being screen-free
    • How to align screen use with family values
    • How to model tech intentionality with your kids


    Here's where you can find Emily:

    ⁠Listen to our Fresh Take with Julie Lythcott-Haims⁠


    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    27 July 2026, 5:30 am
  • 41 minutes 22 seconds
    Fresh Take: Dan Heath on Fulfilling Careers, Better Decision Making, and What Kids Remember Most About Childhood

    What does it really take to build a fulfilling life—and how do we help our kids do the same? Bestselling author and host of the podcast "What It's Like to Be..." Dan Heath joins Amy for a conversation that challenges some of the biggest assumptions parents make about success, careers, decision making, and what their kids will remember most about growing up.

    Dan shares why meaningful work often comes from unexpected places and why room for experimentation and exploration is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.

    Dan and Amy discuss:

    • Why there's no such thing as a universally "good" career
    • How to help kids discover passions without putting pressure on them
    • A simple exercise that creates unforgettable family memories
    • Why experimentation leads to more fulfilling work and life
    • Four common decision-making "villains"—and how to avoid them
    • Practical ways to make parenting, work, and everyday decisions with more clarity

    Here's where you can find Dan:

    What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    24 July 2026, 5:30 am
  • 37 minutes 37 seconds
    How Can Siblings Be Such Total Opposites?

    If you've ever looked at your very different children and wondered how they could possibly share the same DNA, same parents, and same upbringing, you're not alone— and you're not imagining things.

    Research shows that while siblings are usually more alike in appearance and intelligence than we sometimes think, their personalities are as different from one another as they would be from a stranger on the street.

    Why is that? This week, we discuss:

    • Why siblings can have vastly different personalities despite common upbringings
    • How birth order influences family dynamics
    • Why "de-identification" tends to be more intense when siblings are closer in age
    • Why "the same household" doesn't actually tell the whole story Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

    What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

    We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

    ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    22 July 2026, 5:30 am
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