I explore the many disturbing coincidences between my investigative journalism program (or IJP) and the assassination of a lesser-known and, frankly, lesser-beloved Brian Thompson.

In light of the assassination of another Brian Thompson very near my home, I go into hiding in one of New York City's most central parks and update my listeners via a live "proof of life" broadcast.

To celebrate American Thanksgiving, I plan to generously give away turkeys with cavities full of educational literature.

In an effort to broaden my outreach, I appear as a special guest on a popular conservative radio show to discuss my concerns about the deep state's conduct re: the McDonald's Pizza matter.

After a political realignment, I explore the possibility of accepting advertising dollars from a nootropics company. But a brain enhancement pill accident involving my dog has me concerned about a "Flowers for Algernon" type situation.

In part two of a special two-part event (and my record-breaking 350th episode), I am once again experiencing election anxiety, exactly as I did eight years ago, when I first became a devout Christian by calling a prayer hotline.

On part one of a special two-part event, I have named my new dog. But concern about his love of a devilish Halloween pet costume causes me to seek spiritual guidance.

I adopt a dog to aid me in my investigations. Plus, I look into a recent outbreak of E. Coli at McDonald's by mailing a laboratory a hamburger.

In preparation for my upcoming role as United States Pizza Czar, I assemble a uniform with the help of Brooks Brothers and the fine folks at Gorilla Glue.

While investigating the ongoing case of whether Kamala Harris really worked at McDonald's, I unfortunately break a cardinal rule of journalism by sending a source my nudes.

I give God Ben-David one more chance to answer my prayers by pleading with Him to remove violence from the hearts of humanity before I become a major political figure.