The first 90 days of recovery can feel overwhelming, disorienting, and emotionally exhausting — but they’re also the most transformational part of the journey. In this episode, Chris walks through what makes the early stages of recovery so challenging and what actually works to build a strong foundation for sexual purity.

Through teaching, Scripture, and the real story of a man named “Michael,” you’ll learn why the first 90 days matter, why they’re spiritually strategic, and how to navigate them with honesty, community, structure, and surrender.

Recovery doesn’t begin with strength — it begins with brokenness.
 And that’s exactly where God begins to rebuild.

“The first 90 days aren’t about perfection — they’re about direction.”

Recovery Plan can be found by clicking here: Recovery Plan

To learn more about Castimonia, find a meeting, or give feedback on future episodes, email us at [email protected]

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Join Chris today as he interviews Brian Shillingburg. Brian is the founder of 9th Inning Project, where he walks with men out of pornography and sexual compulsivity through honest conversation, courageous accountability, and the transforming power of Jesus Christ. A certified Sexual Addiction Recovery Coach (SARC) with a master’s in education, Brian has spent his 25-year career developing people, building teams, and mentoring men through life’s most defining challenges—drawing deeply from his own journey through addiction and redemption. He coaches men 1:1 and in small groups and equips churches and leaders with practical pathways toward reconciliation and lasting freedom.

Learn more: 9thInningProject.com | [email protected]

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Today, Chris is interviewing Dan Johnson. Dan was on Episode 106 where he introduced his P.A.T.H. Plan. Today, he unpacks more of his strategy for recovery by telling us about a concept he calls the Frontline Framework. 

In order to have a solid recovery, you first have to have a solid plan. The Frontline Framework challenges you to have a predetermined plan, awareness of the moment, and reasons to implement the plan.

To learn more about Dan and the Groups he offers go to NewPaths.me.

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Many of us men don’t understand how to relate to our addiction with compassion. We get sober by suppressing the “addict parts” of our mind, without realizing the roots of our behaviors and what those parts were trying to do for us. We sit on top of them, try to control ourselves, and force our way through recovery. There is a better way. It is rooted in Christ. I teach my clients a systematic approach to utilize emotional mindfulness, parts work, embodiment, and self-compassion to use painful emotions like addiction cravings to deepen self-understanding and self-love, so they can lose their need for addiction over time.

Today Chris interviews Jake Kastleman. Jake is the founder of NoMoreDesire.com, a Christ-centered platform dedicated to helping men break free from unwanted sexual behavior and live whole, healed, and holy lives. What sets Jake apart is his deep commitment to inner transformation, not just outward sobriety. Through his writing, coaching, and online resources, Jake challenges men to do more than stop sinning—he invites them to start healing.

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In this episode, Chris wraps up the series on the Transformational Recovery Matrix (TRM) by equipping men with a practical Transformation Playbook. After exploring the four quadrants—Trivial, Trapped, Transactional, and Transformational—we now land on the heart of the journey: becoming the man God has called you to be.

This conversation isn’t about trying harder or managing your image—it’s about surrender, integrity, and living for Christ as your foundation. Whether you’re single, married, or divorced, God’s invitation remains the same: step into wholeness and freedom in Him.

Chris walks through:

• The Heart of Transformation — why change must move from behavior management to heart surrender.
  
• Eight Transformation Commitments — radical ownership, pursuing God first, daily surrender, choosing truth, welcoming accountability, humble repentance, building a new legacy, and living for an audience of One.
  
• A Daily Transformational Rhythm — simple morning and evening practices to anchor your day in Christ.
  
• Early Warning Signs of Drift — subtle ways men slip back into old patterns and how to course-correct before a crash.
  

Resources & Next Steps

• Learn more about Castimonia meetings (in-person, Zoom, and phone): castimonia.org
• Subscribe to the podcast for weekly hope and encouragement.
• Share this episode with a brother who needs to hear it.
• Evening Reflection Journal, by Lisa Archinal

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In this episode, Chris unpacks the Transformational Recovery Matrix—a simple but powerful way to see where you are in your recovery journey. The four quadrants—Trivial, Trapped, Transactional, and Transformational—show the difference between just managing sin and truly living free.

Chris shares his own turning point, when recovery stopped being a fight to “just stop sinning” and became a pursuit of wholeness. He explains the five core traits of transformational living—Integrity, Honesty & Transparency, Intimacy with Christ, Living with Purpose, and Gospel Dependence—along with real-life examples and practical steps any man can start today.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in shame, tired of white-knuckling your way through temptation, or wondered why sobriety still feels empty, this episode will help you shift from behavior management to heart transformation.

Key Scriptures: Proverbs 10:9, 1 John 1:7, John 15:5, Ephesians 2:10, 2 Corinthians 12:9

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 In this episode, we explore the Transactional Quadrant—where recovery becomes more about checking boxes than changing hearts. You may be sober, but are you truly free?

We discuss the difference between compliance and transformation, the trap of religious performance, and how to let your tools (filters, check-ins, groups) lead to real intimacy with Jesus.

Reflection Questions:

• Is my recovery about avoiding consequences—or becoming more like Christ?
• Am I driven by fear… or drawn by grace?
  

Quote:

“The real blessing is not the sobriety we seek, but the journey we walk.” – Mark Denison

Next Episode: Transformational: Where Freedom Gets Real

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Welcome back to The Purity Podcast, sponsored by Castimonia, a Christ-centered 12-step recovery program for men battling sexual addiction.

In today’s episode, we dive into the Trapped Quadrant of the Transformational Recovery Matrix—the place where denial stops working but true change still feels impossible.

We’ll break it down in three parts:

The Wall — When your old excuses collapse under the weight of reality.
The Shame Spiral — Bouncing between guilt and secret promises that never last.
From Trying Harder to Trusting Deeper — Why real freedom isn’t about willpower, but surrender.

If you feel stuck, ashamed, or exhausted from trying harder—this episode is for you.

Because freedom doesn’t start with perfection.
It starts with pursuit.

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In this powerful episode, Chris continues the series on the Transformational Recovery Matrix (TRM) by diving deep into the Trivial Quadrant—where most men begin their journey into recovery.

Marked by low awareness and low action, the Trivial Quadrant is where denial thrives. It’s the place of rationalizations, secrets, and shallow commitment. Chris shares personal experiences, insights from the TRM, and hard-hitting truths about how living in denial stunts real healing.

If you’ve ever thought, “It’s not that bad,” or found yourself hiding behind religious routines while avoiding real surrender, this episode is your wake-up call.

Resources Mentioned:

• Castimonia 12-Step Groups
• Drew Boa’s Recovery Groups
• There’s Still Hope – Mark Denison

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In this episode of The Purity Podcast, Chris introduces the Transformational Recovery Matrix. Chris created this powerful tool to help men identify where they are in their recovery journey and how to move toward true, Christ-centered transformation. Whether you’re feeling stuck, just going through the motions, or longing for deeper freedom, this episode will give you clarity, hope, and practical next steps.

• Learn the difference between surface-level sobriety and real heart change.
• Discover which quadrant you’re in—and how to grow from there.
• Be reminded: you are not alone on this journey.

If you have questions or want to reach out, please email us at [email protected], and remember that on this path of recovery, you are not walking alone.

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What could stop you from becoming the man God has called you to be? In this personal episode, Chris explores the potential obstacles on the path to purity and integrity, driven by his commitment to recovery from past unfaithfulness and sexual addiction and his relentless pursuit of God, his wife, and his kids. We’ll examine the internal battles, external challenges, and even well-intentioned actions that could derail this crucial journey.

Key Discussion Points:

• The Driving Force: Understanding the personal motivation behind relentless pursuit in the context of recovery.
• Internal Obstacles: Exploring key internal challenges like complacency, resentment, lack of self-compassion, and unrealistic expectations.
• External Obstacles: Examining how your wife’s healing, trust with your children, negative influences, and life stressors can impact your pursuit.
• Seemingly Good Things, Potential Pitfalls: Recognizing how overcompensating or misplacing focus can be detrimental.
• Staying on Track: Emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, consistent effort, and reliance on God in navigating these obstacles.

Actionable Takeaways:

• Reflect on potential obstacles in your own journey towards purity.
• Identify one key internal or external challenge you are currently facing.
• Commit to one small, intentional action this week to overcome that challenge.

Connect with The Purity Podcast at [email protected]

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