Subscribe within Apple Podcasts for ad-free listening, bonus episodes, and access to our full archive. For all those perks and more, including a supportive community of Terrible listeners, mail surprises and live sessions with our team, join us on Patreon.com/ttfa! — It's a question we ask (and get asked) all the time: “How are you?” And normally we just respond with “Fine!” even if we’re totally dying inside, so everyone can go about their day. But it’s not always all that fine, is it? “Terrible, Thanks For Asking” is a show by author Nora McInerny that lets real people get real honest about how they’re really doing. It’s sometimes sad, sometimes funny, and almost always both. A production of Feelings & Co.
On today’s episode, we hear from Cora Danielson, a comic who has been wrestling with something many women do – her inability to have children despite wanting them very, very much. Her outlet? Improv comedy and the community that came with it, offering her people she could always confide in. Now, two of the women in her group are pregnant and it’s messing with Cora’s head. Her friends haven’t told her they’re pregnant because they don’t want to hurt her feelings, so she heard it from someone else. She feels, overwhelmingly, like they pity her. Today, Nora’s talking to Cora and answering the question many of us have held quietly in our hearts, “How do you deal with being the object of pity?”
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We would never tell you that everything is going to be OK, but we will tell you that something will be. Today, Nora and guest Elise Loehnen share the things that make them feel like the world isn’t crumbling down around them.
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LInk to Heads Carolina, Tails California on Spotify and Apple
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Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince.com/TFA to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/TFA
Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.
Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA.
With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TFA.
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What would you say to your dead person? We’re listening in on the Wind Phone.
You can find a wind phone near you here, or call us to leave your message for a future episode: 612.568.4441
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Listen to Geoffrey’s album on Spotify and Apple!
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Right now, go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it. And you will. Now available in Canada, too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/TFA
Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.
Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA
With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TTFA.
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If you lose a spouse, you’re a widow. If you lose your parents, an orphan. But we don’t have the language for someone who lost a sibling – your first friend, your first ally, your first enemy (probably, at least temporarily). Grief always feels like a gut punch, but losing a sibling is a unique kind of pain that we don’t talk about enough.
So today, I’m joined by Steph Wittels Wachs, former TTFA guest and sister of comedy legend Harris Wittels, who died in 2015 of an accidental overdose. We're talking about what losing a sibling means and sharing the notes, advice and insights from people who know what it’s like to live in the world without their siblings.
Cited in this episode:
Rogne, S., Grotta, A., Liu, C., Berg, L., Saarela, J., Kawachi, I., Hiyoshi, A., & Rostila, M. (2025). All-cause mortality around the anniversary of a sibling’s death: findings from Swedish National Register Data. AMERICAN JOURNAL OF EPIDEMIOLOGY. https://doi.org/10.1093/aje/kwaf213
Tatjana Gazibara, Katherine A Ornstein, Christina Gillezeau, Melissa Aldridge, Mogens Groenvold, Merete Nordentoft, Lau Caspar Thygesen, Bereavement Among Adult Siblings: An Examination of Health Services Utilization and Mental Health Outcomes, American Journal of Epidemiology, Volume 190, Issue 12, December 2021, Pages 2571–2581, https://doi.org/10.1093/aje/kwab212
Davidson, D. (2018). Sibling loss - disenfranchised grief and forgotten mourners. Bereavement Care, 37(3), 124–130. https://doi.org/10.1080/02682621.2018.1535882
Herberman Mash, H. B., Fullerton, C. S., & Ursano, R. J. (2013). Complicated Grief and Bereavement in Young Adults Following Close Friend and Sibling Loss. Depression & Anxiety (1091-4269), 30(12), 1202–1210. https://doi.org/10.1002/da.22068
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LINKS TO RELATED EPISODES!
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Right now, go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it. And you will. Now available in Canada, too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/TFA
Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.
Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA.
With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TTFA.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode originally ran in 2016, and we pulled it out of the archives to share with you here, and to kick off a new season of TTFA Anthologies, where we pull together a themed season of some of our best episodes. This season the theme is Grief: It’s Complicated…stories about the kind of grief you won’t find in the sympathy card aisle. Stories like the one you’re about hear. We have a separate podcast feed for these seasons. It’s linked in our show description, or you can find it on your podcast app by searching TTFA Anthologies.
Listen to TTFA Anthologies on Spotify, Apple, or anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts.
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Damon’s grandparents were murdered 18 months before he was born. He never knew them, but their deaths — and the trial for their killer — defined much of his childhood.
For nearly three decades, Damon’s mother has attended every parole hearing to deliver a victim impact statement.
When we meet Damon, there is another such hearing coming up, but his mother is unable to attend. For the first time in his life, Damon prepares to see his grandparents’ murderer face to face.
Originally published 1/23/2017
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Fordham University’s Master of Social Work program is ranked among the nation's top 8% of graduate social work programs by the U.S. News & World Report. With three New York campuses, plus hybrid and fully online options, Fordham’s flexible program works with your schedule to help you earn a degree on your timeline. Our evening and weekend part-time study plan is ideal for working adults, with most students maintaining employment throughout their education.
Learn more about Fordham University’s Master of Social Work program at: fordham.edu/TTFA.
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Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.
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The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.
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Find all our shows at www.feelingsand.co.
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Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince.com/TFA to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/TFA
Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.
Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA.
With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TTFA.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
“Can I move in with you?”
Laurel Louise Anderson (lovingly called Miss Ma’am) posed the question to our producer and her son, Marcel Malekebu, in the summer of 2024. After nearly a year of Marcel asking and a year of her denying, the request came seemingly out of nowhere. His mom moved in, and Marcel and his wife Jenae became caregivers not only to their two very young daughters, but to Miss Ma’am. Caregiving is not an easy thing to do, but it is a holy thing to do. And in this episode, Marcel and Jenae are sharing Miss Ma’am and their lives with her with us.
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Listen to Geoffrey’s album on Spotify and Apple!
More Caregiving Episodes:
Normalize “bad women” with Rebecca Woolf
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“Can I move in with you?”
Laurel Louise Anderson (lovingly called Miss Ma’am) posed the question to our producer and her son, Marcel Malekebu, in the summer of 2024. After nearly a year of Marcel asking and a year of her denying, the request came seemingly out of nowhere. His mom moved in, and Marcel and his wife Jenae became caregivers not only to their two very young daughters, but to Miss Ma’am. Caregiving is not an easy thing to do, but it is a holy thing to do. And in this episode, Marcel and Jenae are sharing Miss Ma’am and their lives with her with us.
Get this episode ad-free here!
Listen to Geoffrey’s album on Spotify and Apple!
More Caregiving Episodes:
Normalize “bad women” with Rebecca Woolf
Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select my show in the dropdown menu that follows.
Find your fall staples at Quince.com/TFA!
All-in-one nutrition for daily performace at DrinkAg1.com/THANKS
Check out Rocket Money at rocketmoney.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What would you say to your dead person? We’re listening in on the Wind Phone.
You can find a wind phone near you here, or call us to leave your message for a future episode: 612.568.4441
Get this episode ad-free here!
Listen to Geoffrey’s album on Spotify and Apple!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
“Okay, boomer” will go down in history as one of the funniest (and truest) ways to shut down a boomer whining about younger generations who just don’t get it. But this episode is not about what boomers don’t understand. This is an appreciation episode about the boomers who get it. Nora and friend of the pod Caroline Moss are here to tell you all about their favorite boomers. It’s time to give them their flowers, so we hope today’s episode will inspire you to show your appreciation for YOUR favorite boomers.
https://www.tiktok.com/@linwolfgang/video/6714782003637521670?
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Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select my show in the dropdown menu that follows.
Find your fall staples at Quince.com/TFA!
All-in-one nutrition for daily performace at DrinkAg1.com/THANKS
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Things are not good in the world right now, and you don’t need us to tell you that. But despair is also not good. Having no hope is not good. And Nora believes that the antidote to despair is action – doing things for others in whatever capacity you can. So she and her son Ralph are bringing back IGTBO for you as an exercise in seeing the OK things in the world around you, even when it seems like all hope is lost.
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Listen to Geoffrey’s album on Spotify and Apple!
Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select my show in the dropdown menu that follows.
Find your fall staples at Quince.com/TFA!
All-in-one nutrition for daily performace at DrinkAg1.com/THANKS
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It’s been a year and a half since we aired an episode where we spoke with Evan about his past and his current health journey of losing weight and reclaiming his life. In this episode, Evan tells us what he’s been up to and also surprises us with how much his perspective has changed since his weight loss surgery.
Get this episode ad-free here!
Listen to Geoffrey’s album on Spotify and Apple!
Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select my show in the dropdown menu that follows.
Find your fall staples at Quince.com/TFA!
All-in-one nutrition for daily performace at DrinkAg1.com/THANKS
Check out Rocket Money at rocketmoney.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices