Why do some people navigate the social world with such ease while others feel like they're swimming upstream? In this special episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by four leading experts for a masterclass on the science of attachment. Featuring conversations with Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Rick Hanson, Julie Mennano, and Elizabeth Ferreira, this carefully curated episode gives you a map to becoming more socially confident, emotionally intelligent, and authentically connected.
Topics include:
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You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:35: Rick Hanson: How to become securely attached
31:20: Working with common attachment wounds
47:35: Sue Johnson: How to have a bonding conversation
1:09:35: Julie Mennano: The attachment mistakes that bring people to therapy, and how secure couples relate differently
1:22:25: Rick Hanson: Self-abandonment, anxious attachment, and how to build up a greater sense of self-worth and self-trust
1:40:30: Elizabeth Ferreira: Creating a secure relationship
1:56:50: Recap and outro
About our Guests: Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, and the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a widely used and respected approach to couples therapy. She is considered one of the foremost experts in the field of attachment, and has received numerous awards for her contributions to the field of psychotherapy. Dr. Johnson is also the author of seven books, including the best-selling Hold Me Tight.
Elizabeth Ferreira is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.
Julie Menanno a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Relationship Coach. She is the founder of The Secure Relationship coaching method, and maintains an instagram of the same name with over 1M followers. She is also the author of Secure Love.
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Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to discuss complex trauma, dissociation, and working with challenging emotions. Forrest and Elizabeth start by exploring the relationship between Internal Family Systems and somatic therapy, including how we can apply a somatic lens to working with our parts. They then apply that framework to complex PTSD, cognitive bypassing, emotional numbing, hypervigilance, and other difficult experiences. Other topics include issues around comparing trauma, windows of tolerance, appreciating individual needs, and Elizabeth’s own journey of becoming a therapist while managing C-PTSD and ADHD.
About our Guest: Elizabeth is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: What is the crossover between IFS and somatic therapy?
12:25: What helps a psychologically literate person who struggles to have a felt experience?
19:05: How can I track my capacity and needs in social situations before dissociating?
35:05: Why do I feel numb, and how can I move past it and feel my feelings again?
41:05: How can I address hypervigilance and stay present with my feelings without catastrophizing?
48:40: How do I respond to friends (or clients) who minimize their own pain or trauma?
58:55: What has supported Elizabeth in pursuing her vocation amidst challenges with trauma and neurodivergence?
1:10:40: Recap
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We all have different needs for closeness and distance, for intimacy and independence. You might have heard terms like anxious or avoidant attachment to describe this, and these tendencies can create challenges - particularly when people with different needs try to relate to each other. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why we're drawn to people who activate our insecurities, how anxiety manifests differently in "pursuers" versus "distancers," and what we can all do to work with our natural tendencies more skillfully. They discuss common relationship patterns, why pursuers usually receive more blame than distancers, schizoid personalities, and practical ways to break free from entrenched patterns.
Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Key characteristics of pursuers and distancers
9:25: Demands and reassurance
13:35: Assigning blame, and gender stereotypes
20:40: Why opposites attract, the power of small wins, and changing ourselves
31:15: The distancer
40:45: Finding motivation to identify common ground with our partner
54:30: The pursuer
1:00:00: Self-consciousness and ego
1:02:10: Brave questions to ask in your relationship
1:07:00: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Why does change feel so difficult, even when we desperately want it? Dr. Ross Ellenhorn joins the show to explore our resistance to change, and the many good reasons we might have to stay just as we are. Forrest and Dr. Ellenhorn discuss the “fear of hope,” the allure of sameness, and what actually helps people develop the confidence to make meaningful changes in their lives. Topics include challenging conventional self-help wisdom, existential dread, dealing with disappointment, major issues in social work, psychedelics, and self-compassion.
About our Guest: Ross Ellenhorn is a psychotherapist and sociologist, the owner and CEO of Ellenhorn, a community-integration program offering services for individuals experiencing addictive behaviors or extreme and complex states of mind and mood, and the author of three books including How We Change (and Ten Reasons Why We Don’t).
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:00: How Dr. Ross’s background in social work influences his outlook on change
6:20: What makes people want to stay the same
18:00: Self-efficacy, faith, and making hope big
24:55: Seeing your problems as solutions
30:00: Grappling with existential anxiety
34:20: The shock of recognition, and connecting with motivations through dialog
40:25: Managing disappointment
43:20: Psychosocial rehab, and the changing definition of mental health
52:55: Psychedelics and direct action
1:04:30: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs: a sudden job loss, a relationship ending, a health crisis, or losing faith in something. These moments can leave us feeling overwhelmed, lost, and unsure of how to move forward. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore a practical framework for navigating life's most challenging transitions. They break down the essential steps for finding your footing when things fall apart: managing the initial emotional impact, steadying yourself, gathering information, working with loss, and taking meaningful action.
You'll learn how to process difficult emotions without getting stuck, ways to evaluate your situation objectively while avoiding common cognitive biases, strategies for decision making under stress, and approaches to building resilience and finding meaning in challenging experiences.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
4:55: Four steps to find your footing when things fall apart
7:05: Stabilizing your body, and reestablishing routines
14:45: Slowing down, and confirmation bias
17:30: Emotional first aid, limiting stressors, and rumination
29:45: Identifying what is reliable in your life
32:45: Facing reality, and gathering information
40:00: Processing loss and disappointment
48:00: Making a plan and taking action
52:30: Post-traumatic growth
58:10: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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We all have to make big choices in life, but it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when facing major decisions about careers, relationships, or personal growth. In this episode, Forrest and Rick Hanson explore how to develop a reliable system for making choices that align with your values and goals. They break down balancing analysis with intuition, the five key decision-making styles, and common obstacles that lead to poor choices. The episode also includes two live demonstrations of working through a big decision, which includes learning how to identify what you want and pursue it from a values-oriented perspective.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:50: Analysis vs. intuition, and activities vs. results
10:45: Effort, values, and the environments you put yourself in
17:05: The five decision-making styles
28:50: Motives and attachment
33:30: Rigidity, excessive certainty, and other common pitfalls
42:10: Demo #1 - Reverse-engineering a career decision (or Rick with a legal pad)
1:04:55: Demo #2 - Deciding whether to invest deeply in a romantic relationship
1:18:00: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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We’re tired, burnt out, and searching for a reprieve from hustle culture. Something needs to change if we’re going to get to real productivity: doing that is meaningful and fulfilling rather than just checking boxes off an endless to-do list. On today’s episode, Cal Newport joins the podcast to explore slow productivity, deep work, and how we can achieve more by doing less.
About our Guest: Cal is a computer science professor at Georgetown University and the bestselling author of eight books including Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World and most recently, Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout. He also has a YouTube channel and hosts the podcast Deep Questions with Cal Newport.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:45: Slow productivity vs. pseudoproductivity
10:35: Anxiety, procrastination, and overwhelm
17:40: Meaningful work and anti-productivity
22:40: Technology, anti-capitalist philosophy, and knowledge work
28:55: The cognitive drain of multitasking
32:45: The distraction of phones social media
36:00: The ratio of deep work to lighter work
41:00: How timeblocking actually reduces stress
45:20: Office hours and shared documents
48:05: Common misconceptions about Cal’s work
55:45: Tailoring advice to your individual situation
1:00:40: Life transitions, and the deceptive advice to “follow your passion”
1:08:00: Obsessing over quality while avoiding perfectionism
1:17:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
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Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions focused on navigating relationship challenges. They explore how to rediscover yourself after a codependent relationship, distinguish between healthy and unhealthy desires, maintain friendships after romantic feelings emerge, overcome self-consciousness in social interactions, and communicate effectively during stress responses. Whether you're healing from a breakup, working through attachment issues, or seeking to build more authentic connections, this episode offers practical advice.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
0:50: After a breakup, how can I reconnect with myself and identify what I really want?
7:50: How do I distinguish between healthy and unhealthy wanting?
18:40: How can I stay friends with someone I’ve had romantic feelings for?
32:20: How can I learn to let my thoughts and speech flow more naturally?
39:10: How can I communicate with care when I find myself in an attachment-related freeze response?
56:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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We all have an "inner child:” the part of ourselves that carries the emotions, beliefs and experiences from our early years. While this aspect of ourselves can be a source of creativity, playfulness and wonder, it might also harbor unresolved wounds that affect our adult relationships and behaviors. In this episode, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore what the inner child really is, how it manifests in our lives, and practical ways to work with this important part of ourselves. They discuss how to identify inner child wounds, demonstrate techniques like voice dialogue, and share strategies for bringing more awareness and healing to our younger selves.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: What is the inner child?
7:30: How the inner child shows up in our adult lives
10:40: A CBT-ish way of thinking about the inner child
16:40: Unmet needs, and examples of inner child wounds
21:45: Promoting the positive aspects of the inner child
28:50: How to begin engaging with the inner child
35:30: Shame, and turning toward yourself
39:00: Reparenting
46:30: Voice Dialogue demonstration
1:00:15: Reflections on the demonstration
1:06:00: Other approaches, and reasons you might be having a hard time
1:09:25: Rage and release, looking at pictures, and creating an autobiography
1:14:00: Balancing the inner child's desires with the realities of life
1:20:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
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Anxiety is something we all experience from time to time, and because it’s so common it can be easy to take it lightly. But anxiety dominates the lives of many people, and in this episode psychotherapist Joshua Fletcher joins Forrest for an in-depth exploration of anxiety. They talk about the anxiety cycle, moving away from thinking in terms of a “cure,” and the key target of the “willful tolerance of uncertainty.” Josh also shares insights on exposure therapy, managing self-criticism, and developing greater self-awareness.
About our Guest: Joshua Fletcher, also known as Anxiety Josh, is a psychotherapist based in Manchester, UK, and the author of several books, including his newest, "and how does that make you feel?" Joshua also co-hosts the podcast "Disordered," and you may have bumped into his content on Tiktok or Instagram, where he has over a quarter million followers.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:30: Josh’s first panic attack
10:15: The vicious cycle of threat monitoring
14:00: The three magic words: “just in case”
20:00: The “willful tolerance of uncertainty”
27:00: Exposure therapy
31:55: Working with self-criticism
41:20: Reward, punishment, and trauma
48:05: Identifying our varied inner voices
52:10: Worried voice, false comfort, and wise mind
54:00: Approaching anxiety as a neurodivergent person
58:10: Healthy disenchantment
1:00:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Why do so many people seem to resist self-compassion? Dr. Chris Germer, co-creator of the Mindful Self-Compassion program, joins Forrest to explore how we can work with the deeply ingrained shame that gets in the way.
Dr. Germer shares common misunderstandings about self-compassion, and they discuss the complex interplay between shame, self-criticism, and our capacity for self-care. Forrest focuses on the paradox of self-compassion: how approaching it as a “solution to your problems” actually gets in the way of it helping you out. Dr. Germer then shares the model of safety, challenge, and overwhelm, including how we can use it to guide our practice, get to the bottom of shame, and avoid burnout along the way.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:30: What people get wrong about self-compassion
5:10: Tender vs. fierce self-compassion, and the “paradox of practice”
11:35: Shame and self-compassion
17:35: Safety, challenge, and overwhelm
23:30: Holding ourselves before holding our experience
31:45: Burnout, and inner-kindness vs. external approval
37:35: Getting to the bottom of shame, and loving ourselves up
42:00: Applying mindfulness to self-compassion practice
48:40: Overzealousness, and clarity of intention
53:10: Motivating ourselves
57:00: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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