Forrest is joined by psychiatrist Dr. Blaise Aguirre to discuss Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). They explore how extreme emotional sensitivity can lead to despair, self-hatred, suicidality, and an intense fear of abandonment, and how DBT can teach the skills needed to regulate those feelings. They discuss the nature of self-hatred, how to change the stories you’ve told about yourself, and how their insight and empathy can make people with BPD some of his favorite clients to work with.
About our Guest: Dr. Blaise Aguirre is the medical director of 3East at McLean Hospital, a residential DBT program for adolescents and young adults, and is an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He’s also the co-author of a number of books including DBT for Dummies, and the author of I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
4:05: Common features of BPD
15:16: Skill-building versus narrative work in therapy
22:10: What DBT looks like in practice
27:02: DBT skills: mindfulness, dialectic thinking, and opposite action
33:43: How to shift self-hatred
49:22: Stigmatization of BPD
53:25: BPD versus CPTSD
58:52: Recap
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Dr. Rick and Forrest explore toxic relationships, focusing on how to identify and exit them. Rick talks about how positive traits like empathy, loyalty, and a sense of duty can keep us stuck. They then discuss common relationship red flags like lovebombing, cycles of idealization and devaluation, power imbalances, and what Forrest calls “the fuzz.” Finally, they talk about how people can increase their chances of a healthy exit. Other topics include developing self-trust, trauma-bonding, shame, and avoiding the cycle of “maybe next time they’ll…”
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:05: Why do good people stay in bad relationships?
10:02: Relationship red flags: the dark triad, devaluation, lovebombing, and the fuzz
24:17: How this shows up in Dr. Rick’s practice
39:48: How to get out: building self-trust, increasing your options, and duty to yourself
1:12:33: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.
Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.
Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL.
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Dr. Becky Kennedy joins Forrest for a conversation about building better relationships, with ourselves, our partners, and our children. They talk about Dr. Becky’s framework of “good inside,” and how we can apply it to ourselves. Dr. Becky explains how many of the struggles parents face trace back to their own childhood experiences, and suggests how we can reparent ourselves by learning emotional regulation, working with shame, and becoming sturdier. They also cover the limits of behavioral control models, deeply feeling kids, maintaining boundaries when things get hard, and building connection capital.
About our Guest: Dr. Becky is a clinical psychologist, founder of Good Inside, and author of the book by the same name. She has over 4 million social media followers, and is one of the most influential people in the world of parenting today.
Key Topics:
0:00: Intro
1:51: Self-development and individual agency in parenting
7:37: Dr. Becky’s process for addressing problematic behaviors
12:48: Parenting as an opportunity for personal growth
16:26: Becoming “sturdy”
19:13: Two jobs of a parent: boundaries and empathy
28:29: Reparenting ourselves
38:40: Shame and deeply feeling kids
44:39: Building connection capital
50:06: Resilience over happiness
57:28: Does parenting content increase parental anxiety?
1:02:30: How to grow as a parent without shame or self-blame
1:07:06: Repair in relationships
1:13:27: Gentle parenting vs sturdy parenting
1:18:33: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.
Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.
Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about effective communication, healthy relationships, and contentment. They explore how defining boundaries, taking maximum reasonable responsibility, and extending an olive branch can help manage ongoing conflict without sacrificing your own needs. They then discuss the power dynamics, ethics, and practicalities of non-monogamy, emphasizing the importance of fairly balancing the rights and needs of everyone involved. Finally, they explore how to cultivate the habit of contentment, even amidst imperfect circumstances.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:36: Question 1: “We had an argument and now they’re being mean to me!”
14:18: Question 2: “I set a boundary, and they’re being really passive aggressive”
27:32: Question 3: “My partner wants a non-monogamous relationship. What now?”
48:14: Question 4: “I can’t find contentment anywhere, help!”
1:03:51: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.
Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.
Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL.
Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
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In this very fun episode, Forrest and Elizabeth discuss how to get on the same team in a relationship. They explore how conditions of worth, masking, and developmental trauma can get in the way of showing up authentically, and how falling into common relationship roles can reinforce this. Elizabeth talks about how healthy anger can actually be a productive force in a relationship, and how relationships change when both members start prioritizing the other’s wants and needs. Other topics include “dating yourself,” embracing the slightly weirder version of who you are, and celebrating self-exploration.
Key Topics:
1:48: Getting on the same team
3:34: “Conditions of worth,” and authenticity
16:13: Vulnerability in relationships
25:38: Wielding anger effectively
38:05: Fairness, and honoring your partner’s needs
42:49: Dating yourself
47:35: Celebrating self exploration
53:57: Changing our relationship with our parts
01:04:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.
Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.
Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL.
Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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Today we’re featuring an episode from another show I think you’re really going to connect with: Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health.
Can a meaningful friendship bridge a 51-year age gap and help combat social isolation? Meet Peter and Pooja; two unlikely companions whose intergenerational bond proves that friendships can flourish when we break down barriers and embrace human connection.
In this episode of Turning Points, explore how Peter and Pooja’s weekly conversations through Boston's FriendshipWorks program evolved from a simple volunteer match into a life-changing friendship filled with book launches, grocery runs, and life advice that flows both ways.
We also speak with Kyle Robidoux, Executive Director of FriendshipWorks. He shares insights on addressing social isolation and loneliness and how community-based friendship programs are strengthening social connections.
Peter and Pooja's transformative friendship shows that when we approach relationships without preconceived notions, we can unlock the healing power of human connection. Their story offers hope and practical wisdom for anyone struggling with loneliness or seeking to build deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Check out Turning Points: http://globe.com/truningpoints
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Today we’re revisiting some of our favorite episodes to explore one of the most salient topics in psychology today: trauma. We begin by tracing its developmental roots with Dr. Lindsay Gibson and Dr. Bessel van Der Kolk, before looking at how it can be passed down through family systems with Dr. Mariel Buqué, associate somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira, and author Stephanie Foo. Dr. Jacob Ham and Dr. Peter Levine then share new perspectives on healing, emphasizing the importance of getting out of the head and into the body. Finally, Dr. Gabor Maté discusses the cultural context of trauma, arguing that it's a symptom of a toxic culture.
Key Topics:
02:15: Dr. Lindsay Gibson on The Last Impact of Inconsistent Parenting and Lack of Attunement
23:16: Dr. Bessel van Der Kolk on Internalizing Abuse
39:34: Dr. Mariel Buqué on Intergenerational Trauma
58:54: Elizabeth Ferreira on Intergenerational Trauma, Complex PTSD, and Somatic Techniques
1:23:23: Stephanie Foo on Healing from Complex PTSD through Relationships
1:47:15: Dr. Jacob Ham on the Limits of Conceptualizing when treating Complex Trauma
2:06:52: Dr. Peter Levine on Somatic Experiencing and Moving Trauma Through Your Body
2:20:55: Dr. Gabor Maté and our Toxic Culture
2:43:55: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.
Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.
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Forrest is joined by one of the world’s top executive coaches, Joe Hudson, for a conversation focused on how we can reduce self-punishment and live more fulfilling lives by welcoming our emotions and loosening identification with the critical mind. They discuss Joe’s “The Golden Algorithm” - our tendency to recreate the emotions we try to avoid - and explore the three pillars of emotional fluidity, cognitive clarity, and nervous system awareness. Joe emphasizes how good change usually comes from reconnecting with who we already are, and welcoming fear, pleasure, and imperfection along the way.
Really enjoyed this one, I hope you do too!
About our Guest: Joe Hudson is the founder of the Art of Accomplishment, and is one of the most sought-after teachers among the world’s top leaders at OpenAI, Alphabet, Apple, and more. He coaches a small group of executives by invitation only, and has collaborated with teachers like Esther Perel, Bessel van der Kolk, Patty Wipfler, and Tiago Forte.
Key Topics:
1:14: The Three Pillars: Emotion, Cognition, Nervous System
8:29: Self-improvement as an act of authenticity
15:44: Deconstructing our thoughts
23:19: The golden algorithm, repression, and why we recreate our pain
31:31: Working with the nervous system
34:11: Shame
43:14: Emotions as windows into wants and needs
49:45: Perfectionism
55:27: Enjoying life
1:08:07: Recap
Learn more about Joe's work:
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha!
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Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss how we can regulate our emotions by feeling, managing, and processing them more effectively. They begin by unpacking common misconceptions and clarifying what healthy regulation looks like - feeling our feelings without being overwhelmed by them. From there, they walk through the three key steps of emotional regulation, focusing on practical tools like cognitive defusion and opposite action. Topics include interoception, the window of tolerance, cognitive bypassing, suppression/repression, and finding a balance between acceptance and agency.
Key Topics:
1:59: What Does Emotional Regulation Look Like?
6:08: The Three Aspects of Emotional Regulation
12:35: Step 1: Feeling Your Feelings
27:20: Step 2: Managing Your Feelings
58:50: Step 3: Processing (and maybe expressing) Your Feelings
1:10:10: Recap
Rick’s Course on Grief and Loss: Join Rick for his new, four-week long online program where you’ll soothe emotional pain, find perspective and meaning, and hold whatever happened with acceptance and compassion. Learn more at RickHanson.com/loss and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha!
Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
Feel good...and mean it when you say it! Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60
Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR.
Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about trauma and its impact on personality, boundaries, anger, and burnout. They discuss how to distinguish the authentic self from the patterns we needed to learn to survive, how to balance duty to self with duty to others, and how to work with explosive anger by first joining with it. Finally, they discuss the importance of moving from empathic distress to compassion in order to prevent caregiver fatigue. Topics include cognitive defusion, taking a bird’s eye view, filling your own cup, and being with your feelings without judging them.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
01:30: Question 1: Trauma or Personality?
07:53: Question 2: Managing Boundaries with a Depressed Partner
28:32: Question 3: Dealing with Explosive Anger
37:45: Question 4: How to Prevent Caregiver Fatigue
47:16: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha!
Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR.
Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the silent killer of relationships: resentment. They discuss resentment as a combination of perceived grievance (“I was wronged”) and helplessness (“and I can’t fix it”), before talking about how over-functioning and control tendencies can lead to resentment in relationships - one person shoulders more of the load while quietly stewing about it. Topics include the role of rumination in keeping resentment alive, the difference between legitimate grievances and toxic rumination, and why resentment can feel protective. Rick shares a step-by-step framework for handling resentment when repair isn’t possible, while Forrest highlights how communication and claiming agency can be powerful antidotes.
Key Topics:
00:00: Intro
04:14: Legitimate grievances vs. unhealthy resentment
09:44: How perceptions of injustice and helplessness fuel resentment
20:04: Claiming your agency
34:41: How to work through resentment with others
50:11: How to work through resentment when you can’t work through it with others
1:02:51: Recap Grief and Loss Course: In this four-week online program Rick will help you soothe emotional pain, find perspective and meaning, and hold whatever happened with acceptance and compassion. Learn more at RickHanson.com/loss and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha!
Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL.
Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR.
Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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