If you're trying to heal after betrayal, you may be doing everything you were taught to do—and still feel stuck.

Sometimes we unintentionally sabotage our own healing—all in the name of love and forgiveness. Instead of feeling better, you end up feeling silenced, unsafe, and confused about why healing hasn't happened.

Author and counselor Tammy Gustafson joins Juli to share four necessary phases of healing, and three common mistakes that actually shut it down. With clinical insight and biblical wisdom, this conversation will help you move forward with strength and hope.

Guest: Tammy Gustafson, LPC

Follow-up Resources:

Preorder Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal (comes out Jan. 27)

Register for The Betrayal Healing Conference, January 26-30. (It's online and free.)

Take the Betrayal Healing Quiz to find what phase of the journey you're in.

Q&A: Does My Spouse Watch Porn Because of Me?

Q&A: How Do I Know if My Spouse Is Repentant After a Betrayal?

Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage by Drs. Chuck and Mike Misja (for the betrayed spouse who stays in a marriage even though their spouse is not doing the work needed to heal)

Follow Tammy at @tammylgustafson

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

There's more to the masturbation conversation than simply "right" or "wrong." Could it be an issue of spiritual maturity for some of us—whether we're married or single? Can it be used in a healthy way in marriage? Join us to have your thinking challenged!

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

Tell us what you thought of this conversation! Leave a rating & review,

Share this episode.

Join an Authentic Intimacy Online Book Study!

Follow-up resources:

Masturbation: Is It Wrong? (Juli's blog)

What's OK in the Bedroom? (Juli's blog)

Is Masturbation a Sin? You May Be Asking the Wrong Question (Juli's blog)

Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

What if knowing your loved one's love language isn't enough?

Kicking off this new year, Juli sits down with Dr. Gary Chapman to unpack how it is that we can know each other's love language and still feel disconnected.

Whether you're married, parenting, or navigating close friendships, this episode will challenge you to love more intentionally—and more effectively.

Guest: Dr. Gary Chapman

Join an Authentic Intimacy Online Book Study!

Pre-order The Love Language That Matters Most by Dr. Gary Chapman, Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott

As we wrap up 2025, this is the conversation God put on Juli's heart.

Juli and Hannah sit down to talk about how we love each other when we disagree. This conversation invites you to rethink how you engage in tough conversations and what it really means to contend for truth with love.

Give to Authentic Intimacy today! Between now and January 31st, your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar—up to $70,000.

Follow-up Resources:

Until Unity by Francis Chan

Q&A: How do you love people you disagree with?

How We Love Each Other by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Grab your Java for one of our most popular episodes of 2025! This conversation with Dr. Dan Allender helped us understand why the stuff we haven't dealt with from childhood eventually shows up—right in the middle of our relationships.

Listen in to find out why you must be willing to explore your own story in order to create safety and repair what's broken.

Guest: Dr. Dan Allender

Give to Authentic Intimacy today and your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar, up to $70,000!

Follow-up Resources:

The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dr. Dan Allender

Follow Dr. Dan at @danballender

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

How do you raise kids who feel grounded in their God-given identity in a world of confusing messages about gender?

Dr. Kathy Koch and Dr. Jeff Myers join Juli to unpack how to guide youg people with truth, curiosity, and presence. You'll hear how to lay the foundations of identity, respond to cultural pressures, and raise confident boys and girls.

Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or mentor, this conversation offers you practical tools and biblical insight for today's tough questions.

Guests: Dr. Kathy Koch and Dr. Jeff Myers

Give to Authentic Intimacy today and your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar, up to $70,000!

Follow-up resoures:

Get your free book at genderconfidentkids.com

Follow Summit Minstrieds at @Summitmn

Follow Dr. Kathy Koch at @celebratekidsinc

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Women everywhere are turning to spicy romance novels to escape stress, overwhelm, and the monotony of everyday life. Today, Juli talks about why these trending titles feel so intoxicating, how they subtly shape our expectations of intimacy, and why they often leave us feeling disconnected from real relationships.

Instead of escaping into fictional worlds, hear how you can rediscover the adventure and connection God designed for real life.

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

Give to Authentic Intimacy today! Between now and January 1st, your gift to Authentic Intimacy will be matched dollar for dollar up to $70,000.

Follow-up Resources:

What Do I Do With My Sexual Desire? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Masturbation: Is It Wrong? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Confessions of a Former Erotica Author by Francine Rivers (blog)

Java with Juli #579: Good Girls, Bad Books: Erotica in Young Adult Fiction?

Follow Hannah Nitz at @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Resources quoted in this episode:

The Rise of Smut: How TikTok is reviving romance literature.

Thanks to BookTok, Barnes & Noble is opening more stores than ever.

More than Mommy Porn: Why I read smut

We're diving into the often overlooked side of sexual intimacy: emotional connection in marriage. Juli and guest Gary Thomas unpack three building blocks of emotional intimacy—emotional availability, sensitive responsiveness, and trust. From understanding male and female brain chemistry to tips on daily connection habits, this conversation gives you tangible ways to create a stronger, healthier marriage.

Guest: Gary Thomas

Give to Authentic Intimacy today—every gift matched dollar for dollar up to $70,000!

Follow-up Resources

Safe Haven Marriage by Arch Hart and Sharon May

A Lifelong Love by Gary Thomas

Follow Gary Thomas at @garythomasbooks

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

What if sexual intimacy became something you look forward to, instead of something you brace yourself for?

Juli sits down with sex therapist Debra Taylor to talk about what we've learned about women's sexuality over the last 30 years. They dive into the myths that still plague marriages, the real factors shaping women's sexual desire, why exhaustion is often the #1 barrier to intimacy, and how couples can pursue healing, connection, and a more meaningful sex life—especially when trauma or mismatched desire is part of the story.

Guest: Dr. Debra Taylor

Giving Tuesday is next week—your gift will be matched, dollar for dollar, up to $70,000!

Follow-up Resources:

The Secrets of Eve by Arch Hart, Debra Taylor, Catherine Hart Weber

Five Things You Need To Know About Women, Orgasm, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

A Secret for the Guys by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

The holidays should bring peace. Instead, they often bring tension, unresolved hurt, and that one person who knows how to get under your skin.

Today, Juli sits down with author and radio host Brant Hansen to talk about what it means to be "unoffendable"—especially when you're passing the mashed potatoes to someone you struggle to forgive.

Guest: Brant Hansen

Follow-up Resources:

Unoffendable by Brant Hansen

How to Have Tough Conversations by Juli Slattery (blog)

When Your Adult Child Makes Choices You Disagree With by Juli Slattery (blog)

Follow Brant Hansen at @branthansen

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Lips that drip liquid myrrh, cheeks like beds of spices . . . what on earth is happening here? This week, we're making sense of the metaphors in Song of Songs. Find out how this bizarre (to us) love poetry shows us that God is wholeheartedly, enthusiastically, and unequivocally in favor of out-of-this-world sexual pleasure in marriage.

Guest: Dr. Sandra Glahn

If you enjoyed this conversation, leave us a rating and review in your podcast app.

Follow-up Resources:

What If I Hate Sex? by Juli Slattery (blog)

How to Go from Demand and "Duty Sex" to True Sexual Intimacy by Juli Slattery (blog)

Pre-order the Lifeway CSB Women's Study Bible (with contributions by Dr. Glahn)

Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love are You Making? with Juli Slattery & Linda Dillow (a 12-week study through the Song of Songs)

Follow Dr. Glahn @sandraglahnauthor

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy