Escaping the Success Trap: When Achievement Still Feels Empty

Host Andy Grant discusses “the success trap,” where men achieve promotions, money, status, and accomplishments yet feel empty, disconnected, and numb. Citing a Forbes article, he explains the paradox that believing we’re successful can limit growth by creating fear of risking standing in others’ eyes, even when success lacks meaning. Drawing from his corporate experience and nearly 400 Real Men Feel episodes, he describes signs and outcomes such as identity tied to performance, discomfort with rest, emotional inaccessibility, burnout, midlife crisis, relationship struggles, addiction, and self-destructive behavior.

Grant shares quotes from Johnny Cash, Maya Angelou, Albert Schweitzer, and Winston Churchill, then offers three solutions: redefine success to include meaning and connection, reconnect with feelings through reflection and journaling, and build brotherhood to counter isolation, inviting listeners to the Authentic AF community.

00:00 The Success Trap
00:36 Welcome and Setup
01:34 Why Success Feels Empty
03:03 My Corporate Wakeup
03:44 Signs You Are Stuck
04:42 Achievement Armor Costs
06:03 Patterns From 400 Talks
07:01 Redefining Real Success
08:01 Three Ways Out
09:53 Join Authentic AF

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join us in the Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 394

Midlife Identity, Men Speaking Up, and Finding Fulfillment After 50

Andy Grant interviews UK-based Philip Briscoe, host of the Mid-life Men Podcast, about his midlife turning point at 50 after leaving a tech job where he felt undervalued and realizing he didn’t know who he was beyond work. Philip describes how stress and lack of fulfillment contributed to depression, anxiety, poor sleep, and lifestyle-related health issues including type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, and fatty liver, many of which improved after he stepped away. He explains creating his podcast to fill a lack of resources for men, finding purpose by sharing men’s recovery narratives, and later turning interviews into his book Men Speak Up, focused on communication and getting help.

They discuss misconceptions about the “midlife crisis,” hormonal and mental-health realities, ageism, normalizing taboo topics like suicidal thoughts, and the importance of supportive friendships and groups.

00:00 Burnout and Identity Loss
00:57 Meet Philip Briscoe
02:08 Turning 50 Wake Up Call
03:32 Health Alarms and Change
04:09 Finding Purpose Through Podcasting
06:46 Work Family and Delayed Joy
09:44 Why Mid-life Men Exists
12:24 Lessons Men Speak Up
15:15 Depression Signs and Support
18:45 From Podcast to Book
20:51 Midlife Crisis Myths
25:59 Purpose as a Continuum
27:25 Connect and Final Takeaway
30:13 Closing and Community Invite

Connect with Philip
Philip Briscoe — https://www.mid-lifemen.com/
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/midlifemenpodcast/
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/midlifemen/
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/philipbriscoe/

Resources
Men Speak Up: Journeys Through Mental Health by Philip Briscoe — https://amzn.to/4kT4QgJ

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 393

Real Men Feel: 10-Year Anniversary—From Blab to Authentic AF

Andy Grant celebrates 10 years of Real Men Feel, which first went live on February 23, 2016 on Blab, and thanks co-founder Appio Hunter, past guests, and listeners for helping create a space where men can talk about the full range of emotions. The episode features audio from the very beginning of the first 2016 episode, a clip from episode 100 about two and a half years later reflecting on how the show grew from a planned monthly, 30-minute format into weekly hour-long conversations with guests, and additional segments from more recent discussions.

Across multiple guest clips answering the recurring question, “What’s one thing you wish more men knew?”, themes include vulnerability as strength, listening, empathy, belonging and finding a tribe, not having to be the strongest or prove masculinity, being allowed to say no and speak up, self-acceptance and compassion, and not having to go it alone. Andy concludes that men need more connection rather than more advice and invites listeners to join the Authentic AF community at realmenfeel.org/group, offering live calls, men’s circles, meditations, honest conversations, and relationships without performance or posturing.

00:00 10-Year Anniversary: Why Real Men Feel Exists
02:02 How the Episode Will Unfold: Clips From 2016 to Now
02:47 Flashback to Episode 1 (2016): Andy’s Mission & Creating Space for Men
04:18 Meet Co-Host Appio Hunter: Emotional Healing & Men as Human Beings
06:22 Episode 100 Throwback: Celebrating the Journey & Early Blab Days
11:01 From Monthly to Weekly: How the Show’s Format Evolved
13:09 “One Thing I Wish More Men Knew” Montage Begins: Vulnerability & Belonging
15:49 Relationships as a Portal: Communication, Healing & Intimacy
18:58 More Wisdom From Guests: Listening, Ego, Empathy & Authenticity
22:45 You Don’t Have to Go It Alone: Voice, Support & Self-Acceptance
27:53 Closing Reflections: Connection Over Advice + Join Authentic AF

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 392

Are You Being Real?

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant addresses the skepticism surrounding authenticity, particularly among men. He explores how the term has been diluted and misused across contexts, reducing it to a mere buzzword. Andy revisits the core values of his show—authenticity, vulnerability, and compassion—while sharing personal experiences that illustrate the genuine meaning of being authentic.

He emphasizes the importance of honesty, responsibility, and emotional openness to truly embody authenticity. Finally, Andy invites listeners to join his online community, Authentic AF at http://realmenfeel.org/group, to further explore and practice genuine self-expression.

00:00 Introduction and Host Welcome
00:29 The Misuse of Authenticity
01:11 Defining True Authenticity
02:13 Personal Journey to Authenticity
04:13 Practicing Authenticity in Daily Life
05:45 Challenges Men Face with Authenticity
07:28 Living Authentically and Community Invitation
08:07 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 391

Unlocking the Real You: The Power of Animal Archetypes

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant is joined by Eric Gee, a published author, life and writing coach, who shares his unique personality typing system based on animal archetypes. They discuss how this system provides deeper insights into oneself beyond superficial traits, helping individuals make better life choices across careers, relationships, and personal growth. Eric elaborates on common misconceptions in traditional personality models and the importance of embracing one's true nature.

They explore the real-life application of these archetypes in education, relationships, and creative work, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and authenticity. Highlights include discussions of specific animal types, such as stags and peacocks, and their relevance to personal and professional life, as well as the impact of societal and parental expectations on identity.

00:00 The Dangers of Not Being Yourself
00:18 Introduction to Real Men Feel
00:26 Meet Eric Gee: Author and Personality Expert
01:23 Understanding Personality Typing
03:52 The Power of Animal Archetypes
06:14 Common Personality Types and Their Traits
07:36 Personality Types in Men and Society
11:57 Discovering Your True Personality
13:19 Impact of Social Programming on Boys
18:55 Upcoming Book and Common Questions
19:25 Relationship Dynamics and Personality Types
21:12 Creative Expression and Animal Types
22:58 Finding Your Authentic Voice
25:44 Understanding and Accepting Your Personality
29:29 Harry Potter Characters and Personality Types
32:43 Empowerment Through Self-Discovery
34:38 Where to Learn More and Final Thoughts

Connect with Eric
Eric Gee — https://www.projectyoutopia.com/
Take The Test — https://youtopiaproject.com/
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/the_power_of_personality/
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/eric.c.gee/
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-gee-3565a79/

Resources
Power of Personality: Unlock the Secrets to Understanding Everyone in Your Life by Eric Gee — https://amzn.to/3Zq3eky

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 390

Transformative Fatherhood with Jon Hord: From Reactive to Present

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant speaks with Jon Hord, founder of the Engaged Father Project. Jon shares his journey from a stressed-out father to becoming an emotionally regulated, present parent. They discuss intentional parenting, emotional regulation, and redefining strong fatherhood. Jon explains the importance of self-awareness, vulnerability, and conscious choices in improving fatherhood.

He also discusses his transition from a corporate career to life coaching and the development of the Engaged Father Project, which helps fathers become the best versions of themselves. Jon offers practical advice for daily practices that can help fathers align their actions with their parenting goals.

00:00 The Power of Vulnerability in Fatherhood
00:27 Introduction to Real Men Feel
00:41 Meet Jon Hord: From Reactive to Present Parenting
01:06 The Biggest Disconnect in Fatherhood
03:10 Jon's Journey: Becoming the Father He Didn't Want to Be
05:40 The Turning Point: Finding a Life Coach
08:31 Creating the Engaged Father Project
14:03 The Role of a Life Coach
15:56 The Importance of Vulnerability in Fatherhood
34:54 Daily Practices for Intentional Fatherhood
38:09 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Jon
The Engaged Father Project — https://theengagedfatherproject.com/
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/theengagedfatherproject/
TikTok — https://www.tiktok.com/@theengagedfatherp
YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@TheEngagedFatherProject
LinkedIn — http://www.linkedin.com/in/jon-hord

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 389

Overcoming Life's Inner Prisons

In this compelling episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant interviews Matt Melvin, author of 'Bullied Behind Bars.' Matt shares his harrowing experiences of incarceration, bullying, and isolation, focusing on the mental prison of blame and anger that lingered long after his physical release. The conversation delves into the challenges many men face, such as shame, fear, and past trauma, and discusses the importance of emotional survival, men's groups, and what it truly means to feel free inside.

Matt talks about his journey to self-love and forgiveness and his plans to create a supportive community for men. This episode provides a powerful reminder that freedom is more about inner connection and honesty rather than external conditions.

00:00 Introduction to Forgiveness and Accountability
00:13 Welcome to Real Men Feel
00:34 Meet Matt Melvin: Author and Survivor
02:01 Matt's Journey Through Incarceration
05:31 Life After Prison: Challenges and Growth
13:11 The Importance of Men's Work and Vulnerability
19:23 Matt's Vision for the Future
27:45 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Connect with Matt
Matt Melvin — https://www.bulliedbehindbars.com/
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/matthew.melvin.5621
X — https://x.com/barsbullied

Resources
Bullied Behind Bars: A Gay Christian Trump Supporter Goes to Prison by Matt Melvin — https://amzn.to/4r2mSi8

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 388

Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant is joined by Tyler Foley, a keynote speaker and author of 'The Power to Speak Naked.' They delve into topics such as masculinity, leadership, vulnerability, and the complexities of jealousy and control for men. Tyler shares how his communication skills and diverse influences shape his masculinity and confidence.

The conversation also explores relationship dynamics, including how to be supportive of a successful partner and how traditional notions of 'being alpha' are outdated. They discuss how true leadership involves listening, authenticity, and the power of stripping away the facade to reveal the raw, honest truth.

00:00 Introduction and Opening Thoughts
00:28 Welcome and Guest Introduction
00:43 Exploring Masculinity and Leadership
01:53 Tyler's Personal Journey and Influences
09:12 The Power of Vulnerability
13:29 The Concept of Speaking Naked
15:46 Authenticity and Self-Awareness
16:40 Supporting a Partner's Success
21:24 Challenging the Alpha Male Stereotype
27:13 Effective Leadership and Communication
29:45 Final Thoughts and Farewell

Connect with Tyler
Tyler Foley — https://seantylerfoley.com
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/SeanTylerFoleyYYC
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/seantylerfoley
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/seantylerfoley/

Resources
The Power to Speak Naked: How to Speak with Confidence, Communicate Effectively, and Win Your Audience by Tyler Foley — https://amzn.to/3LmZ1ea

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 387

Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant discusses the often taboo topic of erectile dysfunction, sexual performance anxiety, and the fear of being broken with guest Shay Doran. Shay, a coach who helps men overcome these issues, shares his personal journey and insights on why ED is rarely just about the body but more about mindset. They discuss the societal pressures and beliefs that contribute to performance anxiety, the impact on relationships, and the importance of seeking help.

Shay also explores the harmful cycle of quick fixes and the cultural differences in perceptions of masculinity and sexual performance. The episode emphasizes that these challenges are normal and that men aren't alone in their struggles.

00:00 The Influence of Porn on Sex Education
00:36 Introduction to Real Men Feel and Today's Topic
00:52 Meet Shay Doran: Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety
01:43 Shay's Personal Journey with Performance Anxiety
04:24 The Root Causes of Performance Anxiety
06:31 The Performative Mindset and Its Impact
07:17 Distinguishing Between Medical and Mindset Issues
10:06 The Trap of Quick Fixes and Marketing Scams
13:10 The Importance of Seeking Help and Guidance
17:37 The Relational Impact of Erectile Dysfunction
20:31 Addressing the Elephant in the Room
21:11 Non-Judgmental Support and Communication
22:10 Working with Men on Performance Issues
23:19 Unique Challenges for Gay and Bi Men
25:43 Decoupling Masculine Identity from Sexual Performance
28:26 Common Aha Moments in Therapy
30:30 Cultural Differences in Masculinity and Performance Anxiety
32:01 Normalizing Sexual Performance Fluctuations
34:10 Impact of Porn on Sexual Performance
34:56 Connecting with Shay Doran
36:14 Beyond Sexual Performance: Living Authentically
38:28 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Shay
Shay Doran — https://shay-doran.com
YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@shay-doran

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 386

Navigating Grief with Gratitude: A Conversation with Steve Gamlin

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant welcomes Steve Gamlin, known as the Motivational Firewood Guy. Steve shares his journey of grief and gratitude after losing his wife, Tina, in December 2024. The conversation delves deep into the process of living and creating with a broken heart, the power of visualization, and the impact of everyday kindness.

Steve also discusses the importance of authentic expression and being honest about where you are in life. This heartfelt discussion is both uplifting and profoundly human, providing insights into how to find strength and purpose amid profound loss.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Tragedy
00:41 Meet Steve Gamlin: The Motivational Firewood Guy
01:46 The Origin of Motivational Firewood
03:50 Understanding Visualization and Vision Boards
08:15 The Power of Everyday Kindness
14:02 Navigating Grief and Sharing the Journey
19:09 Personal Journey Through Grief
20:49 Rebuilding and Moving Forward
21:26 The Importance of Lived Experience
23:26 Honoring Tina Through Vision Boards
27:03 Daily Habits and Positivity
33:29 Future Relationships and Self-Discovery
35:32 Final Thoughts and Connection

Connect with Steve
Steve Gamlin — http://SteveGamlinSpeaker.com
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/SteveGamlin
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevegamlin/

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 385

Breaking Down Barriers with the LezBro

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with Aastha Lal, a lesbian coach who is transforming men's relationships by providing a safe, non-competitive, and non-judgmental space for growth. Aastha shares her journey in creating the LezBro, a coaching practice where men can explore vulnerability, emotional honesty, and mindfulness.

They discuss common challenges men face, such as reactivity and the need for connection, and highlight practical solutions through mindfulness and meditation. Aastha's unique approach bridges the divide in how men approach emotional openness and mental well-being, creating a ripple effect that benefits their relationships and communities.

Join Andy and Aastha as they dive deep into the importance of emotional safety and the unexpected benefits of having a lesbian coach for straight men.

00:00 Introduction: The Starvation for Connection
00:29 Meet the Guest: Aastha Lahl, The LezBro Coach
01:17 The Birth of LezBro: A Safe Space for Men
03:00 Common Reactions and Client Experiences
04:46 The Importance of Vulnerability and Mindfulness
09:43 Challenges Men Face: Emotions and Reactivity
12:38 Mindfulness in Practice: Real-Life Applications
17:12 Connection in Relationships: Single vs. Married Men
19:18 Outdated Masculinity and Emotional Expression
27:35 Practical Steps for Men: Starting the Journey
31:29 Conclusion: Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Aastha
TheLezBro — https://www.thelezbro.com/
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/the.lezbro/

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 384