My guest this week is Steve Silberman, an award-winning science writer who authored the 2015 book NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity, a brilliant book that upends conventional thinking about autism and suggests a broader model for acceptance, understanding, and full participation in society for people who think differently. Steve’s articles have appeared in Wired, the New York Times, the New Yorker, the Financial Times, the Boston Globe, the MIT Technology Review, and more.

In our conversation, Steve and I talk about neurodivergence, autism, acceptance, tolerance, changing cultures, systemic change, and so much more. As a science writer who researched the history of autism in writing his book for more than five years, Steve brings an incredible breadth of knowledge, as well as passion for the neurodiversity movement, to the show. By the end of this interview I was inspired and motivated for the changes to come, and grateful there are thought leaders like Steve doing this important work in the world. I hope you enjoy our conversation!

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• The impetus for Steve’s book NeuroTribes
• How and why the anti-vaccine movement has negatively affected the autistic community
• The real impact of language like “epidemic” in relation to neurodifferences like autism
• How Steve’s book NeuroTribes has been received by members of the autistic community
• Steve’s thoughts on how parents raising neurodiverse kids can best support the neurodiversity movement
• The importance of autistic peer mentoring

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I’m talking with developmental psychologist Dr. Peter Gray about his new book, Restoring Childhood: How to Set Kids Free in the Age of Anxiety, which challenges one of the dominant narratives about the youth mental health crisis: that smartphones and social media are largely to blame for the rise in anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges among kids. Peter argues that this picture is incomplete, and that when we look more closely at the data and at what has changed in childhood over the past several decades, a very different story emerges. 

So today we dig into what Peter believes we’re missing when we focus so much attention on screens, including the rise of intensive parenting and overprotection, the loss of independence and free play, and especially the increasingly stressful and demanding role that school plays in children’s lives. We also talk about why kids need unstructured time, autonomy, and opportunities to take age-appropriate risks, and Peter shares practical ideas for giving our kids more freedom to build confidence, resilience, and a stronger sense of agency.

​

About Dr. Peter Gray 

Dr. Peter Gray is a research professor of psychology and neuroscience at Boston College. He has conducted and published research in neuroendocrinology, developmental psychology, anthropology, and education. He did his undergraduate study at Columbia University and earned a Ph.D. in biological sciences at Rockefeller University. His current research and writing focus primarily on children’s natural ways of learning and the life-long value of play. He has helped found and continues to support nonprofit organizations aimed at bringing more play and independent activity to children’s lives.He is the author of an internationally acclaimed college introductory psychology textbook (Psychology, now in its 8th edition), which views all of psychology from an evolutionary perspective, and of Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

• How Peter Gray defines childhood as a gradual process of growing independence, autonomy, and responsibility

• Why the rise of intensive parenting and overprotection has reduced kids’ freedom and may be contributing to increased stress and anxiety

• How Common Core and increasingly demanding, high-pressure school environments have fundamentally changed children’s experience of childhood

• Why Peter argues that school pressure and the loss of independence may be bigger drivers of the youth mental health crisis than smartphones and social media

• How free play, self-directed activity, and opportunities to take age-appropriate risks build confidence, resilience, and agency

• What parents can do to give kids more freedom, independence, and control over their own lives

Resources mentioned

• Dr. Peter Gray’s website

• Dr. Peter Gray’s Substack

• Restoring Childhood: How to Set Kids Free in the Age of Anxiety by Dr. Peter Gray

• Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life by Dr. Peter Gray

• A Historic Settlement Over Social Media Addiction (The Daily podcast)

• Let Grow

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I’m excited to share this powerful and gut-punching conversation with Jonathan Mooney, a self-described “do-gooder,” speaker, and writer who didn’t learn to read until he was 12-years-old. Growing up with Dyslexia, Jonathan faced a number of low expectations: he was told he would be a high-school dropout and likely end up in jail. Instead, he earned a degree in English Literature, started his first non-profit organization in his college dorm, and has gone on to write a number of books, including his latest title Normal Sucks (which, side note: should be required reading for everyone). He’s been a champion for neurological and physical diversity for more than two decades, and his award-winning advocacy projects have been featured in major media outlets across the US. 

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• The powerful messages, both positive and negative, Jonathan heard from the adults in his life as a child with dyslexia
• What it means to pathologize difference, and how even well-meaning organizations participate in this
• The difficult and disturbing historical outcomes for differently-abled people, including the ideas and legacy of the Eugenics movement. 
• How the idea of “normal” has evolved since Jonathan started his advocacy work
• Why Jonathan believes that learning differences are a gift and why this is such an important concept
• What parents and teachers can do to help children to see their differences as strengths

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​In this conversation, Debbie Reber speaks with Dr. Özgür Bolat about his book The Reward Trap and the hidden costs of using rewards to motivate children. Dr. Bolat explains that rewards may create short-term compliance, but they often undermine intrinsic motivation, self-esteem, and long-term confidence by teaching kids that love and approval are conditional on performance. 

Drawing from his own experience as a highly accomplished student who became dependent on external validation, he argues that parents should shift from a control mindset to a connection mindset—asking what a child needs, helping them feel understood, and building internal motivation through effort, autonomy, and trust rather than prizes or pressure.

About Dr. Özgür Bolat 

Dr. Özgür Bolat is a distinguished education scientist, researcher, associate professor, and author with a career spanning academia, media, and corporate partnerships. His groundbreaking research on parenting and teaching has earned him international recognition, including the prestigious Best Young Researcher award in New Zealand. He holds a master’s degree from Harvard Graduate School of Education (Fulbright and TEV scholar) and a PhD from the University of Cambridge. 

During his doctoral studies, he spent one year as a visiting PhD student at MIT Sloan. His academic work has been complemented by a successful media career, where he served as a columnist for a major national newspaper for 12 years, establishing himself as a leading voice in education and parenting. Dr. Bolat is a highly sought-after keynote speaker and parenting workshop leader.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

• Why rewards and praise can create short-term compliance while undermining intrinsic motivation over time

• How conditional praise and external validation can contribute to anxiety, perfectionism, and a sense that approval must be earned

• Why behavior is often a signal of an unmet need rather than a lack of discipline

• How shifting from a control mindset to a connection mindset changes the way we respond to our kids

• Why focusing on effort rather than intelligence helps children build resilience and authentic motivation

• How parents can nurture kids who are internally motivated, self-respecting, and connected rather than focused on obedience

Resources mentioned 

• Dr. Özgür Bolat’s website

• The Reward Trap book website

• The Reward Trap: Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivation Kids by Dr. Özgür Bolat (on Amazon)

• Alfie Kohn on Practicing Unconditional Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast)

• Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn

• Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise, and Other Bribes by Alfie Kohn

• David Yeager on the Science of Motivating Young People (Tilt Parenting podcast)

• Mindset: How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential by Carol Dweck

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What if the reason you or your child can’t “just do the thing” is not laziness, but a Wall of Awful built from repeated frustration, shame, anxiety, and failure? Brendan Mahan breaks down the hidden emotional barrier behind procrastination, avoidance, and shutdown - and shows how to actually get through it without burning out.

Debbie Reber welcomes Brendan back to unpack his new book, Overcoming the Wall of Awful: Why It’s Hard to Get Things Done with ADHD, Autism and Anxiety, and How to Do Them Anyway. Together they make this deceptively simple metaphor concrete, useful, and surprisingly validating for parents, educators, clinicians, and anyone who has ever stared at a task and felt their brain go sideways.

About Brendan Mahan 

Brendan Mahan, M.Ed., MS., is the author of Overcoming the Wall of Awful™, and host of the ADHD Essentials Podcast. A sought-after speaker, and neurodivergent person himself, Brendan helps organizations and individuals manage neurodiverse challenges through education, collaborative problem-solving, compassion, and accountability. 

He is on the board of the Men’s ADHD Support Group, Director of Professional Resources for Calmer Con Boston, and a former committee member of the International Conference on ADHD. He has featured in the New York Times, Washington Post, LinkedIn, Understood, How to ADHD, VeryWell Mind, and ADDitude.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

• How the Wall of Awful creates an emotional barrier that can make starting or completing tasks feel impossible

• Why anxiety and adrenaline can sometimes help us climb the Wall of Awful while also taking a toll

• How creating “doors” in the Wall can provide quicker paths to regulation and getting unstuck

• Why making tasks interesting, meaningful, or connected to personal values can reduce avoidance

• How rejection sensitive dysphoria can add another layer to the Wall of Awful and how parents can support kids through it

• Why having shared language and practical tools for talking about Walls of Awful can help kids better understand and navigate their experience

Resources mentioned

• Brendan Mahan’s website

• Overcoming the Wall of Awful: Why It’s Hard to Get Things Done with ADHD, Autism, and Anxiety (and How to Do Them Anyway) by Brendan Mahan

• The Wall of Awful

• Brendan’s ADHD Essentials Community on Facebook

• ADHD Essentials on Instagram

• Brendan Mahan on LinkedIn

• ADHD Essentials on Blue Sky

• ADHD Essentials on X

• Jessica McCabe How to ADHD YouTube channel

• Wall of Awful on How to ADHD (YouTube videos)

• The Anti-Planner: How to Get Sh*t Done When You Don't Feel Like It - Undated ADHD Planner Alternative for Adults, Women & Teens, 100+ Productivity Strategies for Focus & Procrastination by Dani Donovan

• Dani Donovan’s website

• Dr. William Dodson

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Joining me is Georgie Wisen-Vincent, an expert in play therapy and co-author, alongside Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, of the new book The Way of Play: Using Little Moments of Big Connection to Raise Kind and Confident Kids.

In today’s episode, Georgie shares insights from The Way of Play and explains why play is a universal language that helps kids express their feelings and navigate life’s challenges. We discuss how parents can intentionally use play to strengthen bonds, nurture sibling relationships, and reconnect after time apart. Georgie also offers practical strategies for engaging in play effectively, such as mirroring your child’s play to deepen connection and understanding. Plus, we explore how play isn’t just for kids—it’s a lifelong skill that can enhance relationships at every stage of life.

Things you'll learn

* Why play is a natural language that fosters social-emotional development, allowing children to express their feelings and process difficult experiences

* How parents can strengthen connections by intentionally setting aside time for play and becoming active observers rather than controllers

* How little moments of play can lead to big connections, helping to nurture sibling relationships and strengthen bonds after time apart

* How to engage in play effectively, mirroring our child’s play to enhance connection and understanding

* Why play is a lifelong skill that not only supports children’s growth but also enriches adult relationships and communication

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​Today we’re talking about the complex and often misunderstood sleep challenges that show up in neurodivergent kids with Dr. Melisa Moore, a clinical psychologist who is board-certified in behavioral sleep medicine and has spent years supporting children, teens, and young adults with sleep and mood concerns. We’ll talk about some of the concepts in Melisa’s new book, The Good Sleep Guide for Neurodivergent Kids, including why sleep issues are so common in neurodivergent children, the role of underlying conditions like obstructive sleep apnea, how to recognize when something more than “typical” sleep struggles might be going on, and what kinds of support can actually make a difference. Melisa also shares practical strategies for improving sleep routines and helping kids—and their families—get the rest they need.

About Melisa Moore, PhD 

Melisa Moore, PhD, is a clinical psychologist board-certified in behavioral sleep medicine. Dr. Moore currently practices in the Los Angeles area and virtually across the country, supporting children, teens, and young adults for a variety of sleep and mood issues. She also works for the Sleep Center at Rady Children’s Health, San Diego. Dr. Moore continues to supervise medical and psychology trainees and teaches courses on pediatric sleep around the world. She previously worked at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) for 17 years, serving as the Psychosocial Director of the Sleep Center and as faculty of the University of Pennsylvania.

Inspired by her work with families in combination with her experience as a mom, Dr. Moore’s book The Good Sleep Guide for Neurodivergent Kids is a compassionate, comprehensive, science-backed guide to improving sleep in neurodiverse children and teens, released by New World Library on March 4, 2026.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

• How biology, genetics, and circadian rhythms shape sleep patterns in neurodivergent children

• Why sleep challenges are so common in kids with ADHD and autism, and what’s driving them

• How to recognize signs of obstructive sleep apnea and other underlying sleep disorders

• Why co-occurring conditions like allergies or hypermobility can further disrupt sleep

• How consistent routines and supportive sleep associations can improve bedtime success

• When to seek professional support and what options are available for addressing complex sleep issues

Resources mentioned

• Dr. Melisa Moore’s website

• The Good Sleep Guide for Neurodivergent Kids: Science-Backed Strategies for Children and Teens with ADHD, Autism, and Other Neurodiversities by Melisa Moore, PhD

• Alex Mortlock Explains Circadian Rhythm Syndromes & Complex Sleep Challenges (Tilt Parenting podcast)

• Dr. Mel Houser on Navigating the Healthcare System as a Neurodivergent Person (Tilt Parenting podcast)

• Dr. Zachary Rubin on What Every Parent Should Understand About Allergies (Tilt Parenting podcast)

• Dr. Roberto Olivardia on ADHD and Sleep Challenges (Tilt Parenting podcast)

• American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM)

• Pediatric Sleep Council

• National Sleep Foundation (NSF)

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I wanted to explore this concept of interoception and differently wired kids more deeply for the show, so I reached out to Kelly Mahler, an occupational therapist who specializes in interoception and is a co-principal investigator in several research projects pertaining to topics such as interoception, self-regulation, trauma, and autism.

Kelly answered my big questions about interoception, including how it relates to sensory processing differences or SPD, why it’s essential that we help our children get to know their bodies’ unique language, and the relationship between ADHD, autism, and interoception. We also talked about what happens in our kids’ brains when they increase their interoceptive awareness, and effective strategies for helping our kids develop in this area.

Things you'll learn from this episode:

* What interoception is and how it relates to sensory processing differences

* What the spectrum of interoception awareness is and how extremes may manifest

* The relationship between ADHD, autism, and interoception challenges

* How to support a child with poor interoception awareness to become more tuned in to their body’s internal experience

* What happens in our brains when we start to increase our interoception awareness

* How to help older kids who’ve been on the receiving end of compliance-based strategies to reconnect with and trust their bodies

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Today I’m talking with James Guttman, author of Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation. James is the father of a nonspeaking autistic son and a neurotypical daughter, and through his writing and podcast he shares an honest, deeply personal perspective on fatherhood, autism, and the journey toward acceptance.

One of the reasons I wanted to have James on the show is because we so rarely hear fathers' voices in conversations about raising neurodivergent kids. Like all of us, James's understanding has evolved over time, and I appreciated the opportunity to talk with him about that evolution, what he's learned from his children, and why acceptance has become such a central part of his story.

In our conversation, we talk about fatherhood, acceptance, community, and the unexpected ways our neurodivergent kids can change us for the better.

About James Guttman 

James Guttman is the author of Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation. As a father to a nonverbal son and a neurotypical daughter, he shares a message rooted in autism appreciation and the belief that our kids’ differences hold their own beauty.

His writing reached national attention when his HuffPost Personal essay drew more than 750,000 readers in a single day and became one of the most-clicked stories on Apple News. Through his long-running blog, Hi Blog! I’m Dad, James tells honest, heartfelt stories about parenting, connection, and the shared humanity between his children.

James is also the author of the Amazon-bestselling Expectant Father’s Activity Book, and his work has been featured by Love What Matters, The Mighty, the Organization for Autism Research, Yahoo Lifestyle, and more.

A survivor of a quintuple bypass at 35 and host of the Hi Pod! I’m Dad podcast, James brings humor, vulnerability, and perspective to conversations about parenting, mental health, and raising kids in a world that doesn’t always understand them.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

• How James’s journey raising neurodivergent children reshaped his understanding of parenting, autism, and himself

• How surviving a heart attack transformed James’s perspective on fatherhood, presence, and what truly matters

• Why fathers need more inclusive spaces, community, and support as they navigate parenting neurodivergent kids

• How authenticity, vulnerability, and redefining masculinity can strengthen relationships with children and challenge outdated assumptions

• How James’s evolving relationship with his children, and his son’s example, helped him become a more authentic version of himself

Resources mentioned 

• James Guttman’s blog, Hi Blog, I’m Dad

• Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation by James Guttman

• James Guttman on Facebook

• James on TikTok

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Pediatric and occupational therapist Rosemary White explains the philosophy behind DIR / Floortime as a powerful modality to support children's sensory, motor, and social / emotional development.

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Today we’re talking about a parenting experience that comes with its own unique set of challenges and complexities: raising neurodivergent kids as a single parent. My guest is Dr. Gila, a clinical psychologist, neuropsychologist, certified parenting coach, and single mom who is passionate about helping grownups support beautifully complex kids with compassion, connection, and brain-based tools that actually work. Drawing from both her professional expertise and lived experience, Dr. Gila has a gift for translating complex ideas into practical strategies parents can put into action right away.

In our conversation, we explore the unique realities of solo parenting neurodivergent children, including the emotional load, decision fatigue, and constant balancing act that so many single parents face. Dr. Gila shares practical approaches for managing overwhelm, staying connected to your values, and creating more sustainability in daily life. This is a validating and encouraging conversation for any parent carrying a lot—and especially for those doing it on their own.

About Dr. Gila

Dr. Gila is a single mom, certified parenting coach, clinical psychologist, and neuropsychologist. She’s passionate about helping grownups support beautifully complex kids with compassion, connection, and brain-based tools that actually work.

Dr. Gila combines her professional background with her lived experience in a relatable, down-to-earth style. Her background as an educator and medical writer makes her especially skilled at translating complex concepts into practical tools you can understand…and actually use.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

• Why grief, worry about the future, and emotional exhaustion are common realities for many single parents

• How the “sink model” helps explain the mental, emotional, and cognitive load that can lead to overwhelm

• How strategies like “stop, drop, and roll” and compassionate reframing can support parents through moments of dysregulation

• Why community, support systems, and self-care practices such as audio journaling are essential for sustainability

• How values-based parenting, creative connection, and letting go of perfection help families thrive through small, meaningful moments

Resources mentioned 

• Dr. Gila’s website

• Dr. Gila’s Resources for Tilt listeners

• Single Parenting with Connection podcast

• Dr. Gila on Instagram

• Dr. Gila’s Single Parenting with Connection, Not Perfection Facebook group

• How to Practice Conscious Co-Parenting, with Jenna Flowers (Tilt Parenting podcast)

• Sandi Lerman

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