Alice and Martha discuss everyone's favorite "journalist," Rita Skeeter, as she makes her first appearances of the series. From her coverage of the events at the World Cup to her slander of Hermione, Harry, and Hagrid, Rita makes a splash in the fourth book!  

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Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the minute Tim thought was supposed to be on the last Take Five, as well as the four minutes after that! Draco breaks Harry's nose very convincingly, Luna practices mending bones, and Flitwick doesn't recognize Harry (or does he?). At least that's what we assume happens - no one can be sure because you can't actually see much! 

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Who is the little old man with Harry's knobbly knees? Why is Harry's entire extended family dead? Does the Lily and James timeline even make sense? Alice and Martha discuss all the important questions about the Mirror of Erised on this week's One Page at a Time!

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Aunt Marge arrives at the Dursleys, who were damn good to take Harry in! Alice and Martha discuss Dursley family dynamics, Colonel Fubster, Ripper and more on this week's episode! 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Alice and Martha return with special guest Shut Up Tim, who definitely understands the concept of five minutes and who takes copious noootes to prepare for each episode! There's some great writing and acting in these five minutes, as well as pygmy puffs, nargles, and Peruvian Instant Darkness powder!

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the first of Hagrid's tales, as he tells Harry the story of Lily and James' murder with some interesting "insights" into what may have happened that night. Get ready for some amazing Hagrid impressions and even though they might have cookies, don't be tempted to go to the dark side! 

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Alice and Martha follow Harry and Dumbledore into a world entirely their own, as Dunderbore - sorry, Dumberton, meets young Tom Riddle for the first time. 

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Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the next five minutes of Half-Blood Prince. Bellatrix and her real weird Cissy head to Spinner's End to make the Unbreakable Vow, Snape enjoys the summer by connecting with his Muggle roots, and Harry gets a taste of the Weasleys' Wonder Emporium. 

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A little less Michael Gambon and a little more Hedwig makes for a slightly better five minutes for Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss this week! Harry makes his way to the Burrow, via side-along (?) apparition. You'd think Mrs. Weasley would know if Harry Potter was in her house, and you'd also think maybe she wouldn't encourage the kids to light random newspapers on fire in the house.. 

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Sirius dusts off his voice on this week's episode, as Alice and Martha enter the Shrieking Shack (mansion?) to hear all about how Sirius survived and escaped the very realistic Azkaban prison. Plus, Hermione manages not to be annoying, and Lupin enters teacher mode with some excellent classroom management skills.

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Alice, Martha, and SPECIAL GUEST Shut Up Tim discuss the second five minutes of Half-Blood Prince, which sees Harry taking Dumbledore's arm off to Budleigh Babberton, Dumbledore channeling his inner Sanguini, and David Yates quickly turning into David Yikes. 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!