Our Real Weird Queen makes her first appearance on One Page at a Time, and Alice and Martha stand with Parvati and hope she stays, that woman! Malfoy does some sniping, Harry defends Hagrid, and the girls get a chance to bond with the unicorns on the 440th page of Goblet of Fire.

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters

New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Follow Alice and Martha up close as they dive into the Dementor's maw, and Harry almost gets his first kiss. On this episode of One Page at a Time, explore dementors' origins and Mary's questionable wardrobe choices for Harry. 

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters

New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Happy birthday, Shandy and Alicia! That's right, Alice and Martha's second task prediction came true as Harry fights off green-bearded mermen to be a hero. What are the other champions playing at??

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters

New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Alice and Martha return to One Page at a Time to discuss Ron's arachnophobia origin story and Myrtle's gloomy bathroom. Plus, join the sisters on a deep dive into the history of the teddy bear! 

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters

New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Get out your Quick Quotes Quill! Alice and Martha resume conversation about Rita Skeeter in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books. From her one quality interview of Harry to her remarkably quick 900-page book on Dumbledore, the beetle isn't kept at bay very long! 

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Special guest Shut Up Tim joins Alice and Martha again to discuss another riveting five minutes! Dumbledore gives an impassioned warning to the students, Rupert Grint tricks Daniel Radcliffe into some actual acting, and McGonagall catches Roger Davies making questionable choices.

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters 

New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss everyone's favorite "journalist," Rita Skeeter, as she makes her first appearances of the series. From her coverage of the events at the World Cup to her slander of Hermione, Harry, and Hagrid, Rita makes a splash in the fourth book!  

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the minute Tim thought was supposed to be on the last Take Five, as well as the four minutes after that! Draco breaks Harry's nose very convincingly, Luna practices mending bones, and Flitwick doesn't recognize Harry (or does he?). At least that's what we assume happens - no one can be sure because you can't actually see much! 

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters 

New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Who is the little old man with Harry's knobbly knees? Why is Harry's entire extended family dead? Does the Lily and James timeline even make sense? Alice and Martha discuss all the important questions about the Mirror of Erised on this week's One Page at a Time!

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters

New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Aunt Marge arrives at the Dursleys, who were damn good to take Harry in! Alice and Martha discuss Dursley family dynamics, Colonel Fubster, Ripper and more on this week's episode! 

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters

New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Alice and Martha return with special guest Shut Up Tim, who definitely understands the concept of five minutes and who takes copious noootes to prepare for each episode! There's some great writing and acting in these five minutes, as well as pygmy puffs, nargles, and Peruvian Instant Darkness powder!

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters 

New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!