What it really means to feel loved, and why many people who are loved don't feel it.

Sonja Lyubomirsky is a preeminent happiness expert and Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California. Harry Reis is one of the world's leading experts on relationships and Dean's Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Rochester. They are the authors of: HOW TO FEEL LOVED: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most.

In this episode we talk about:

• What it really means to feel loved, and why many people who are loved don't feel it
• An antidote to loneliness
• A broader definition of love beyond romance
• Why feeling loved may be the true key to happiness
• How feeling loved is more in your control than you think
• The "relationship seesaw": lifting others up to feel loved yourself
• The power of curiosity, listening, and reciprocity
• Why dropping emotional armor is necessary for real connection
• Practical tools for feeling more loved
• Tips on asking better questions and showing real enthusiasm
• Why genuine curiosity, reciprocity, and emotional pacing deepen connection more than performative listening

Related Episodes:

• Happiness Takes Work | Sonja Lyubomirsky

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A conversation with meditation teacher Jay Michaelson about what to do when you're constantly tired, fried, and running on empty.

If you feel exhausted seemingly all the time—whether it's a low hum or something louder—you're not alone. In this conversation, Jay Michaelson, our Teacher of the Month for February, talks with executive producer DJ Cashmere about the relentless fatigue so many of us are experiencing, and what actually helps.

We talk about:

• Why your first move should be self-compassion (not self-blame)—especially in a culture obsessed with sleep optimization

• The important oscillation between being with difficulty versus reaching for an antidote

• HALT: the acronym that can save you (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)

• How to investigate exhaustion without trying to fix it right away

• Practical antidotes: screen hygiene, micro-naps, and yes, brain machines

• How our Stone Age brains are being hijacked by tech companies

• Why nap shame is "pure garbage" and you should kiss it goodbye

• The social conditions causing exhaustion that are beyond individual control

The through-line: this isn't about becoming superhuman or gritting your teeth through exhaustion. It's about relating to it differently, being kinder to yourself, and using whatever tools actually work—even if they feel unconventional.

Jay's guided meditations and live AMA sessions are available throughout February in the 10% with Dan Harris app. Find more from Jay at jaymichaelson.substack.com.

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A live Q&A session with meditation teacher Jeff Warren, where Dan and Jeff tackle some of the hardest questions in meditation and life.

Jeff Warren is a meditation teacher, author, and co-founder of the Consciousness Explorers Club. In this live session recorded on Zoom with subscribers to the 10% with Dan Harris app, Jeff and Dan take questions about insomnia, chronic pain, caring for aging parents, existential fears for loved ones, and what to do when your meditation practice feels stuck.

We talk about:

• How to get equanimity around existential fears for your kids (which Jeff calls "the single hardest thing in human life")

• Why acceptance is a terrible word and equanimity is better

• The difference between doomsday spirals and what's actually happening right now

• Practical strategies for insomnia and chronic pain (including why your goal shouldn't be eight hours of unconscious sleep)

• What to do when you feel stuck in your meditation practice (hint: the plateau is normal)

• Three strategies for turning down the volume on your constant mental narrator

Jeff also introduces the practice of asking your meditation a question—literally seeding a question in your mind during practice and seeing what bubbles up. It's surprisingly effective for creative blocks and getting unstuck.

These live sessions happen every week in the 10% with Dan Harris app, where you can meditate with Dan and guest teachers and ask questions in real time. Get the app at danharris.com — there's a free 14-day trial.

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How to become the wisest version of yourself.

Ryan Holiday is one of the world's bestselling living philosophers. His books, including The Daily Stoic, The Obstacle Is the Way, Ego Is the Enemy, Stillness Is the Key and his #1 New York Times bestselling series on the Stoic Virtues, appear in more than forty languages and have sold over 10 million copies.

In this episode we talk about:

• The value of asking pertinent questions
• How to create a second brain
• Finding a teacher for yourself
• How not to be a know it all
• Achieving focus through a morning routine
• How to seek out criticism
• Learning how to die
• And much more

Related Episodes:

• Ancient Strategies For Managing Stress And Anxiety

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Additional Resources:

• Wisdom Takes Work
• The Stoic Virtue Series
• The Daily Stoic
• Dailystoic.com
• Glorious Exploits

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Our bodies are brilliant at healing. An integrative doctor on how to tap that resource.

Victoria Maizes, MD, is the founding executive director of the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine. Her new book is Heal Faster: Unlock Your Body's Rapid Recovery Reflex to Feel Better—Quicker.

In this episode we talk about:

• What integrative medicine is (and isn't)
• How lifestyle, stress, sleep, and relationships factor into healing
• Why "a pill for every ill" often falls short
• What the Rapid Recovery Reflex is and why the body wants to heal
• The biggest things that block recovery in modern life
• Practical ways to improve our health, ranging from sleep to stress
• Why patients have more power than they think
• How AI can help people ask better questions and work smarter with doctors
• Why what and when you eat matters
• How environmental toxins and social connection quietly shape our health more than we realize
• Tips for handling colds and flu more effectively
• Smarter ways to recover from pain and injuries
• Practical tools for reducing stress and anxiety without immediately turning to medication

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A guided loving-kindness meditation from Jay Michaelson that ditches the phrases and uses visualization instead.

If you've done traditional metta (loving-kindness) practice before, you know it involves bringing people to mind and repeating phrases like "May you be happy, may you be healthy." It's a great practice. But sometimes the words can get you stuck in your head—thinking about what would actually make this person happy, or getting into stories about their suffering.

This version takes away the verbal element. Instead, you work with a visualization: imagining a warm, golden light in your heart center that you can extend outward.

Fair warning: this involves imagination. If that makes you roll your eyes, that's fine. But as the Beatles said, "The love you take is equal to the love you make." It's worth a try.

Jay Michaelson is our Teacher of the Month for February. Find more guided meditations and live sessions with Jay throughout the month in the 10% with Dan Harris app.

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Life hacks life from one of the busiest journalists of our time.

Andrew Ross Sorkin is an award-winning journalist for The New York Times, a co-anchor of CNBC's Squawk Box, and the founder and editor-at-large of DealBook, an online daily financial report published by The New York Times. His latest book is 1929: Inside the Greatest Crash in Wall Street History--and How It Shattered a Nation.

In this episode we talk about:

• The motivation behind his new book
• Human nature –– and why FOMO might be a good thing
• Personal finance hygiene
• The true antidote to irrational financial decisions
• How to cope with financial stress
• Practical tools to stop mental spiraling
• The "Would It Help?" mantra
• The role of Transcendental Meditation (TM) in Andrew's life
• Productivity hacks and life routines
• Calendar blocking vs. to-do lists
• How much you should ––or shouldn't–– share or disclose about yourself with other people
• And much more

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Additional Resources:

• Too Big to Fail
• DealBook Summit

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Practical advice from a straight-talking former criminal and occasionally profane Dharma teacher.

Vinny Ferarro has practiced insight meditation (vipassanā) since the mid-90s. He's the Guiding Teacher of the Big Heart City Sangha in San Francisco and has led a weekly sitting group for almost two decades.

As a fully empowered Dharma Teacher through Spirit Rock/IMS, he has taught residential retreats at various centers and currently leads Spirit Rock's Year to Live course.

This episode originally dropped in May of 2024, but we're re-posting it because it was one of our most successful episodes.

In this episode we talk about:

• Alignment
• Vinny's concept of "flashing your basic goodness"
• Noting practice
• The deep satisfaction in not seeking satisfaction
• Redirecting awareness
• Being an "empathetic witness" for yourself
• When to opt for distraction
• Not taking what's not yours
• Vinny's ancestor practice
• What is the connection between seeing our family patterns and not taking what is not ours?
• How loyal have we been to our suffering?

Related Episodes:

• How To Be Okay No Matter What | Kamala Masters

• Vitamin E: How To Cultivate Equanimity Amidst Political Chaos | Roshi Joan Halifax

• Non-Preachy Ethics | Jozen Tamori Gibson

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A smarter way to think about disease prevention.

Dr. Tara Narula is a board-certified cardiologist at Lenox Hill Hospital in Manhattan and Chief Medical Correspondent for ABC News. Her new book is The Healing Power of Resilience: A New Prescription for Health and Well-Being.

In this episode we talk about:

• What resilience really is, why most of us already have it, and how it can be strengthened
• The overlooked link between mental health, physical health, and recovery from illness
• Why mindset and acceptance matter as much as medical treatment when facing health challenges
• How resilience applies to major life changes, trauma, and chronic disease.
• Practical psychological tools for working with anxiety, fear, and repetitive thought patterns
• Why flexible thinking matters
• How to adapt when life doesn't go according to plan
• How beliefs, mindset, and the mind–body connection shape stress, healing, and resilience
• Why movement, sleep, and facing fear are essential ingredients in building real resilience
• How reframing identity can help people move forward after illness, trauma, or loss
• Why connection, love, and small acts of kindness are powerful and underused medicine
• How hope, faith, and purpose shape resilience, healing, and long-term health

Related Episodes:

• Dan's top 10 takeaways from the science of behavior change: How To Actually Keep Your New Year's Resolutions | Dan Solo Episode

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A conversation with Jay Michaelson, our Teacher of the Month for February, about his path to meditation, navigating multiple identities, and why he calls himself a "cynical, sarcastic bitch."

Jay Michaelson is a meditation teacher, journalist, rabbi, and author. In this conversation with executive producer DJ Cashmere, Jay gets candid about his unconventional path into meditation—driven initially by greed for mystical experiences rather than a desire to reduce suffering—and how his practice has evolved over 25 years.

We talk about:

• Why Jay identifies as a "greed type" in Buddhist psychology (and what that means)

• How to balance worldly activism with contemplative practice without getting "hollowed out"

• The concept of creating a "permission structure" to live the life you actually want

• That moment of spaciousness between stimulus and response (and how it saved Jay when he got heckled during LGBTQ activism)

• Whether meditation can help save humanity—and why Jay is both cynical and hopeful about this

• How neurotic Jay still is after 25 years of practice (spoiler: he's less reactive, but still neurotic)

• "Micro-moments" of awareness—five-second practices for people who can't go on long retreats

Jay's guided meditations and live sangha sessions are available throughout February in the 10% Happier app. You can also find him at jaymichaelson.substack.com, where he writes Both/And, a newsletter about the intersection of spirituality, meditation, and politics.

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A conversation with celebrated author George Saunders about his new novel, Vigil, and what fiction can teach us about empathy, self-awareness, and mortality.

George Saunders is the bestselling, award-winning author of Lincoln in the Bardo, Tenth of December, and many other books. His new novel, Vigil, tells the story of a woman who died in 1976 and has spent the decades since comforting the dying—until she encounters a former oil executive responsible for early climate change denial.

In this conversation, Dan and George talk about:

• Why George keeps writing about ghosts and the afterlife (hint: it's not just about mortality dread)

• The lavish empathy at the heart of Vigil—and whether we should extend that empathy even to people doing civilizational damage

• What George calls "warm metacognition"—the practice of dropping back out of your thought loops to examine what kind of goggles you're wearing

• How fiction can turn your mind into a "reconsideration machine" (and why that matters in real life)

• The difference between kindness and niceness

• George's relationship with death anxiety, which he's had since childhood and which has only intensified with age

• What George has learned about listening from teaching and hosting his Substack, Story Club

• Why the older he gets, the more important it is to stretch himself creatively

• His advice for dealing with stuckness (in writing and in life): curiosity over self-accusation

George's new novel Vigil is out January 27th from Random House. Check out his Substack, Story Club, where he discusses classic short stories with an incredibly thoughtful community.

Related Episodes:

• George Saunders on "Holy Befuddlement" and How to Be Less of a "Turd"

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