We often hear the idea of “right person, wrong time”—but what if that’s not really what’s happening? In this episode, we’re unpacking how timing and readiness often get confused in relationships, and why someone not showing up fully usually says more about their willingness to prioritize you than the timing itself. We’re also talking about the way we romanticize almost-relationships, and how that can keep us stuck in stories that don’t reflect reality. Ultimately, we explore how getting honest about readiness—yours and theirs—can help you move on from connections that aren’t aligned and open up space for someone who actually is. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
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* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
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Could you really be one to two shifts away from having the type of healthy relationship you've always wanted? Our guest today, Amy Chan, believes so as she talks about the dating experiment that changed her life (that you all can do too) and how to look at dating like a sale funnel to identify which part is tripping you up. We discuss the 5 stages of dating, why we often want to slide through the most important phase, and how you can create your own dating bootcamp by being the scientist of your love life.

To learn more about Amy Chan follow her @missamychan and go to https://missamychan.com Get her new book 'Unsingle' wherever books are sold.

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PS We mention dating experiments we've done in the intro, here are the episodes:

S13E18: 24-Hour Date

S11E11: Politics Aside: A Blind Date Experiment

Season 10 Episode 9: Love is Blind Part 1

Season 10 Episode 10: Love is Blind Part 2

Season 7 Episode 1: 2 Blind Dates

Season 3 Episode 3: Dating on a Whim

Season 2 Episode 1: The Blind Date

Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


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We often get the question—when is the right time to have sex? In this episode we're digging into what we wish we knew when it came to sex, timing and the intimacy / expectations that come from it. We're discussing the challenge that comes from outdated rules like having sex on the third date, why its less about timing and more about the connection you've built, and how to feel more emotionally confident broaching the subject / deciding together that the time is right. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


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We've gotten so good at being intentional about dating, but in the process we've lost the magic. Today we're discussing how dating isn’t just about waiting for sparks or optimizing every move –it’s about finding the balance between the two. We dive into the tension between chasing serendipity and over-strategizing your love life, why leaning too far in either direction can leave you feeling stuck or unfulfilled, and how to see where you fall on the serendipity to strategy scale to create space for both spontaneity and purpose, Enjoy!

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Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


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What if one of the biggest mistakes in dating is also one of the most common—and hardest to admit? If you’re hoping someone will change or dating someone for their potential instead of who they are right now, you may already be setting the relationship up to fail. In this episode, we explore why we so often expect partners to change for love, how this usually leads to disappointment, and what it means to accept someone as they are – while still being honest about needs, preferences, and deal-breakers. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if we were to tell you in 6 years your love life would like entirely different in the best way possible? We're so excited to bring you this episode where we check in with some of the members of the Dateable community – many that we got to know super well over the pandemic from our Sounding Board Community + Programs – to see what has changed in their love lives and the biggest shifts they made that helped them date differently. We discuss how to meet someone from the apps to a grocery store, why ending things with the 'wrong person' helped get to the right one, and the ways truly understanding yourself and your patterns helped unblock what was holding you back.

Enjoy!

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Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if we told you there is one trait that predicts if a relationship will work out (or not)? And this absolutely should be something you're looking for when dating. If someone you're seeing doesn't demonstrate these qualities – don't just walk away but run! In this episode, we dig into what we wish we knew to look for in a partner earlier, that eventually we realized through our own situations and those of friends. We discuss why this one thing will make or break a relationship, how to see if it's a quality the person you're dating possesses and why so many of the red flags we focus on don't matter – but this one does. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

At our core, we’re not just wired for sex—we’re wired for deep connection with another human being. In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Justin Garcia, leading sex researcher, evolutionary biologist, and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute, who shares the science behind why humans are driven to bond, love, and seek intimacy. We explore how modern dating both supports and disrupts our natural instinct to pair bond, what choices like staying single or exploring nontraditional relationships mean in that context, and why even when connection feels hard to find it’s still fundamentally what we’re built for.

To learn more about Dr. Justin Garcia follow him @drjustingarcia and go to https://kinseyinstitute.org/. Get his new book 'The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live & Die For Love' wherever books are sold.

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Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Why do we place so much weight on being chosen and what does it actually get us? In this episode, we dig into how we’ve confused attention with real investment and chased validation instead of asking whether we felt genuinely valued. We reflect on the subtle ways performative dating shows up and how societal pressure keeps us focused on being picked and why the relationships worth having are built more so much more than simply being chosen. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We all know our attachment styles greatly impact how we show up in dating and relationships, but what do we do if we have anxious or avoidant tendencies? We’re joined by attachment expert Thais Gibson, who shares how we can rewire our brains and nervous system to feel more secure. We discuss the ways that our childhood wounds directly correlate to our attachment styles, how to reprogram the subconscious beliefs that leak into our love lives, and why it's completely possible to reprogram your attachment style so you can date in a way that feels liberating.

To learn more about Thais Gibson follow her @thepersonaldevelopmentschool and go to https://university.personaldevelopmentschool.com/. Get her new book 'The New Attachment Theory: Heal Every Relationship by Rewiring Your Brain and Nervous System' wherever books are sold.

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Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you’ve ever questioned whether a relationship is “right” you’re not alone. In this episode, we unpack how our understanding of healthy relationships has evolved over time, and why the ones that actually last often feel steady and grounding rather than dramatic or intense. We reflect on past experiences where chemistry and excitement were mistaken for compatibility, and how that mindset kept us stuck in patterns that didn’t truly serve us. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy