Should pocket money be linked to chores? What about paying for good grades? From savings percentages to spending rules, discover why traditional pocket money wisdom might be wrong, and learn a value-based approach that actually works. Plus, find out why regular money conversations matter more than any system you choose.

Quote of the Episode: "Money is just a store of value, and the conversation really should move away from money to how am I adding value in the world?"

Key Insights:

• Pocket money should be independent of chores.
• Paying for grades can decrease intrinsic motivation.
• The Three S's: Spend, Save, Support.
• Financial conversations matter more than systems.
• Value creation should precede money focus.
• Forced savings can build positive habits.
• Regular money discussions enhance financial literacy
• Stretch goals encourage saving behaviour

Resources Mentioned:

• The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel [affiliate link]
• Happy Families newsletter
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Separate pocket money from household responsibilities.
2. Implement the Three S's system (Spend, Save, Support).
3. Have regular conversations about money and value creation.
4. Set achievable saving goals with matching incentives.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From classic works to cutting-edge neuroscience, discover the books that have shaped modern parenting wisdom. Join Dr Justin Coulson as he shares his carefully curated list of game-changing parenting books, including why each one matters and how they can transform your family life. Plus, hear Kylie's surprising take on which books might matter most of all.

Quote of the Episode: "When I think about the kind of parent that I aspire to be, those two books have had more influence in my life than all the other books combined."

Key Insights:

• Great parenting often comes from continuous learning
• Different books serve different parenting stages and challenges
• Some classics remain relevant despite their age
• Picture books can be as influential as academic texts
• Cultural perspectives offer valuable parenting insights
• Understanding child development enhances parenting approach
• Expert knowledge needs to be balanced with practical application
• Scientific understanding of child development continues to evolve

Resources Mentioned: (NB. These are affiliate links)

• Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginott
• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
• The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa Damour
• Act Natural by Jennifer Traig
• Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff
• The Myth of the Spoiled Child by Alfie Kohn
• Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
• The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler
• The Teenage Brain by Frances Jensen
• I'll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise by Maureen Adamek
• Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Start with one book that addresses your current parenting challenge
2. Balance academic texts with accessible, practical guides
3. Consider including children's books in your parenting resource library
4. Make regular time for parenting education through reading

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How much sleep do kids really need? From caffeine myths to screen time truths, sleep specialist Dr Moyra Vandeleur from Royal Children's Hospital unpacks the latest research on children's sleep. Learn why teens naturally stay up late, whether weekend sleep-ins matter, and what the science really says about warm milk before bed.

Quote of the Episode: "Sleep, diet and exercise are the three pillars of health - and sleep has only recently been recognized as equally important."

Key Insights:

• Recommended sleep varies by age:
  • Toddlers (1-3): 12-14 hours
  • Preschoolers (3-6): 10-12 hours
  • Primary school (5-12): 10-11 hours
  • Teenagers (13-18): 8-10 hours
• Individual sleep needs vary
• Quality, quantity and pattern all matter
• Teen biology naturally shifts sleep timing later
• Caffeine affects sleep for about six hours
• Regular exercise improves sleep quality
• Screen time before bed doubles sleep difficulties
• Snoring more than three nights weekly needs medical attention

Resources Mentioned:

• Royal Children's Hospital National Child Health Poll
• Sleep guidelines
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Create Screen-Free Wind Down

• No screens one hour before bed
• Establish relaxing routines
• Keep consistent bedtimes

• Limit caffeine, especially after lunch
• Watch for hidden caffeine sources
• Exercise earlier in the day

• Child seems tired despite adequate sleep
• Regular snoring occurs
• Sleep problems persist despite good habits

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From a ten-year-old willingly trying alfalfa sprouts to teenagers singing while doing dishes, discover how indirect approaches can transform family challenges. Learn why leaving a book about gut bacteria lying around might work better than years of mealtime battles, and how a simple word game can turn kitchen clean-up into family fun.

Quote of the Episode: "Force creates resistance. When you try to make kids eat, as we have for so many years... but instead, she reads it in a book and she's willing to give it a crack because she feels like she's in the driver's seat."

Key Insights:

• Indirect approaches often work better than direct instruction
• Strategic placement of resources can spark interest
• Games can make chores disappear into the background
• Family participation makes tasks more enjoyable
• Children teach themselves when given the right resources
• Time and patience often yield better results than pressure
• Fun and connection matter more than task completion
• Siblings can create effective solutions

Resources Mentioned:

• The Friends You Don't Know You Have by Laney and Jordan Oldfield
• Word Association game for family chores
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. For Picky Eaters

• Place helpful resources where children will find them
• Allow self-directed discovery
• Celebrate willing experimentation

• Create games that involve everyone
• Focus on fun rather than task completion
• Use music and creativity to engage participation

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when researchers analyze 238 studies spanning 51 years and 38 countries? They discover one consistent truth: autonomy support leads to thriving kids, while psychological control leads to struggling ones. Learn why guilt, shame and coercion damage child wellbeing, and discover the three practical steps to becoming a more supportive parent. Plus, understand why this holds true across all cultures and age groups.

Quote of the Episode: "If you want to be a great parent, and there was one variable that mattered more than anything else, this is it. It's about autonomy support."

Key Insights:

• Meta-analysis covered 238 studies across 51 years
• Research included 126,000 participants from 38 countries
• Results consistent across cultures and age groups
• Psychological control leads to maladaptive perfectionism
• Control linked to depression 12 months later
• Reducing control improves academic performance
• Findings apply from toddlers through adolescence
• Three types of control: autonomy support, psychological control, and behavioral control

Resources Mentioned:

• Emma Bradshaw's meta-analysis study
• The Parenting Revolution book
• University of Sydney research
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Explore: Take your child's perspective and understand their viewpoint
2. Explain: Provide clear rationales for rules and limits
3. Empower: Work together to develop frameworks and boundaries

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New research from the National Child Health Poll reveals surprising statistics about children's sleep, including why 42% of kids have sleep problems and why parents' beliefs about teen sleep might be wrong. Learn why screen time isn't actually helping kids wind down, how caffeine affects sleep patterns, and discover the biology behind why teenagers really do struggle to wake up early.

Quote of the Episode: "While we're exhausted at 8:30, teenagers are still good to go at 9:00, 9:30 - that's when melatonin starts to kick in."

Key Insights:

• 42% of children have sleep pattern problems
• 47% of parents wrongly believe screens help wind down
• Caffeine after lunch doubles sleep difficulties
• Teen biology affects sleep timing
• Melatonin production differs between teens and adults
• Regular sleep patterns matter more than total hours
• Screen use disrupts natural sleep cycles
• Sleep routines remain important for all ages

Resources Mentioned:

• National Child Health Poll
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. No Screens Before Bed

• Implement one-hour screen-free period
• Remove devices from bedrooms

• Consistent bedtime
• Regular wake time
• Cool, dark, quiet bedroom

• Age-appropriate wind-down activities
• Consistent patterns
• Calming environment

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child begging for makeup while you're desperately trying to preserve their innocence? From church on Sundays to everyday requests, the makeup debate touches deep parental fears about growing up too fast. Discover why parents really resist early makeup use, and learn a practical three-step approach to handling this delicate issue. Plus, hear how six daughters taught these parents that sometimes the biggest parenting battles aren't worth fighting after all.

Quote of the Episode: "Making a big deal about makeup is perhaps a bit unnecessary - we've learned not to sweat the small stuff."

Key Insights:

• Most parental concerns about makeup stem from fears about premature maturity
• Research shows resistance often comes from conservative backgrounds
• Parents worry about beauty standards and self-worth connections
• The more parents resist, the more appealing makeup becomes
• Force creates resistance in these situations
• Family rules evolve with experience and understanding
• The Three E's approach works well for makeup discussions
• Context and motivation matter more than specific age limits

Resources Mentioned:

• Beauty Sick by Renée Engeln [affiliate link]
• Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey [affiliate link]
• Miss Connection Summit
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Explore: Get curious about your child's real motivation
2. Explain: Share your values and concerns openly
3. Empower: Work together on solutions that respect both perspectives

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever cringed at a recording of your own voice? Imagine watching your daily parenting played back on video. In this raw and honest episode, Dr Justin Coulson shares how a humbling surfing experience revealed the game-changing power of self-awareness in parenting. Discover why 95% of parents think they're self-aware (but only 10-15% actually are), and learn the three practical steps to close your own self-awareness gap. Warning: might involve some uncomfortable truths!

Quote of the Episode: "Sometimes our most uncomfortable moments of self-awareness become our greatest opportunities for transformation."

Key Insights:

• Only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, despite 95% thinking they are
• Self-aware parents show improved emotional awareness of themselves and their children
• Video feedback leads to significant improvements in parenting behaviours
• Small, focused improvements are more effective than trying to fix everything at once
• Regular feedback and reflection are crucial for growth
• Self-awareness impacts relationship quality with children
• The gap between perceived and actual parenting skills often requires objective feedback
• Incremental improvements lead to sustainable change

Resources Mentioned:

• Tasha Eurich's research on self-awareness
• Research on video feedback in parenting
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Create Your Own "Surf Video Moment"

• Record interactions with children
• Ask for specific feedback from family members
• Be prepared for initial discomfort

• Seek specific, focused feedback daily
• Make improvements manageable
• Focus on one area at a time

• Spend 5 minutes journaling each evening
• Note one positive interaction and one area for improvement
• Track progress over time

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The mental load in families isn't just about remembering school events or planning meals - it's an invisible, boundaryless, and enduring form of labour that impacts relationships, careers, and wellbeing. Join Professor Leah Ruppanner from the University of Melbourne as she unpacks groundbreaking research on how mental load affects modern families, why it's not just about task-sharing, and what couples can do to create more balance.

Quote of the Episode: "The mental load is the emotional thinking work that we do to keep our households functioning."

Key Insights:

• Women carry 71% of household mental load tasks.
• Mental load is invisible, boundary-less, and enduring.
• Both partners often duplicate mental load without realising.
• Schools generate nearly 3,000 WhatsApp messages per child annually.
• Men in equitable relationships report better health, sleep, and life satisfaction.
• Single parents (both mums and dads) share similar mental load levels.
• Work structures and social norms make it difficult for men to step into care roles.
• Mental load cannot be eliminated but can be better understood and managed.

Resources Mentioned:

• Fair Play cards system
• Goldie app for managing school communications
• University of Melbourne research
• Misperceived podcast
• Professor Leah Ruppanner (@ProfLeah on Instagram)

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Start conversations about mental load without blame or past baggage.
2. Consider how technology (like AI assistants) might help manage communications.
3. Acknowledge both partners' different but equally valid mental burdens.
4. Practice accepting help and taking breaks without guilt.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your child walks into the room, what do they see? Drawing from Toni Morrison's profound insight and an Olympic coach's wisdom about competition, discover how subtle expressions shape our children's sense of worth and why measuring against our own progress matters more than beating others. Plus, learn why even well-intentioned critical looks might be sending the wrong message.

Quote of the Episode: "When they walked in the room, I was glad to see them. It's just as small as that... That is how you learn what your value is."

Key Insights:

• Children read facial expressions more than words.

• Good intentions can still show as criticism.

• Competition should focus on personal improvement.

• Our reactions shape children's sense of worth.

• Joy should be visible, not just felt.

• Even caring criticism can appear negative.

• Personal bests matter more than winning.

• Face-to-face interactions shape self-worth.

Resources Mentioned:

• Frank Dick's coaching philosophy

• Toni Morrison on the Oprah Show

• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Notice your facial expression when children enter the room..

2. Focus on personal growth rather than competitive outcomes.

3. Show joy intentionally in daily interactions

4. Make delight visible when greeting children.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A mum's classroom confrontation made headlines, but the full story reveals a more complex reality about school bullying. Learn why traditional approaches often fail, what evidence you need to collect, and when removing your child might be the best option. Plus, discover why building adult relationships could matter more than peer connections.

Quote of the Episode:

"Fundamentally our job is to keep our kids safe. When we can't control others' behaviour, sometimes removing our children is the only option."

Key Insights:

• High emotions lead to poor decision-making.
• Evidence collection is crucial for intervention.
• Restorative practice isn't always effective. 
• Working within the system brings better results.
• Adult mentoring may be more valuable than peer relationships.
• System escalation requires documented evidence.
• Physical and psychological safety must be priorities.
• Traditional age-based socialisation may need rethinking.

Resources Mentioned:

• eSafety Commissioner website
• Department of Education
• Police reporting systems
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Document Everything

• Keep interaction records
• Save digital evidence
• Track all school communications

2.  Work Within the System

• Follow proper channels
• Escalate systematically
• Maintain evidence trails

3. Consider Safety Options

• Evaluate psychological safety
• Consider environment changes
• Build adult support networks

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.