Taking My Last Breath So We Can Live A Good Life

If it's possible that we have only one life on this little old planet Earth what a waste to waste any of that time.

Knowing you're here, I'm guessing you will feel the same as me too.

So.............................

What would happen if we were to imagine going to the end of our time line of the future and taking our last breath and look back on what we want to have achieved in that life time? And because it's in our imagination you can do this imagining everything you want to have done, experienced - the sight, sounds and feelings of all your dreams having been truly realized. Oh! and probably a bit more because you can   :O)

And it's how we can take notice of those reminders and Ah-Ha moments that will guide us to fulfill this life with amazing times.

Please come with me, it's not the longest of episodes, and I think we'll make a difference that makes the difference to a life well lived.

If you like what you hear please share this episode:

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/388-taking-my-last-breath-so-we-can-live-a-good-life

and the podcast itself to all

 

Shine brightly

Paul

Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. 

If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected]

If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review

Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com

  If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie

 I’m a therapist but not your therapist

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take.

Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com

tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

This podcast is all about your unconscious mind

 

Hey, this podcast, what's important about this episode? It's all about your unconscious mind. Keep reminding you, keep reminding you what's important. How to stretch and be your best self. So we don't waste a heartbeat, a moment, a minute, an hour. We just make our life rich and, and enjoyable so we can look back at this life and go, it's a bloody good one. Now I think that might be important. So have a listen to this just after the next 15 seconds, okay

Personal development is a continual creation, isn't it

Hey, we've got, well, a bit of exploring of a sort in this longer podcast. And the thing is, it's about the recurring aha's. and what does that mean? Well, why is this going to be important anyway? Let's do the important thing first, because this is why it's important. Personal development. You're here, you're here to learn and create, I'm going to guess create the best version of yourself. We talk about it so many times and it's a continual creation, isn't it? It's an evolving and the evolution. And we have to stretch, that's how we do it, don't we? We have to stretch ourselves and be consistent in that stretch. And we can't give excuses, can we? We can't give excuses of it was and blame other people, other things. We've talked about that before. We've got to be responsible for our own personal development. Take responsibility, be at cause, because when you're at cause the effects don't come into it. You create those effects, actually. And for me this is why it's important to me, I think, I'm not sure, but we may only have one life, this tiny little pinprick in the whole of the, of the universal time that started when and will finish when we may just have one little life. And what a waste it would be just to waste it, wouldn't it? How bad would that be just to waste this one thing we've got, which is us, your conscious mind, your unconscious mind and all the things you can do with both of them. And to me, I don't know about you, but to me that waste is such a bad thing. And I try to think, why is this really important to me? And I thought, well, I get guilty about wasting time. I get sad. Now, we could call them away from values, couldn't we? Because I want to get away from guilt, because I don't want to feel guilty about wasting time, and I don't want that guilt to cause me to be sad. So I wanted to think about it in a different way. It's, not the nicest thing, but I wanted to realize if I was on my deathbed, taking me last couple of breaths, hopefully a bloody long time away, but taking my last couple of breaths, would I be happy with the Cloughie that I created? Would I be happy with the things that Cloughie's done? Would I be happy with the differences I've made, made to me, made to my family, my friends, and, beyond you? You're my friend. Could I be so grateful that I didn't waste that time? And you have to think about it. How would that make me feel if I knew that I hadn't? Yeah, I know. Along the way, probably, I know I waste time, and that's what really gets me, because that's why I get guilty about it. That's why I get sad about it, because I just think, well, I've only got this one time, but I know if I strive stretch myself, how would it make me feel knowing that I really had done my best, what would I see if I look back over the timeline of my past? What would I see? The things I've done, the things I've created in me, but the effects of being and stretching to be the best version of myself, what would have happened or, what has happened in that timeline of my past? The time in business, the time helping people in therapy, with hypnosis training, people generally, just hopefully, hopefully I'd be able to say I was kind. I was a of kind man. What things could possibly I hear? What would I have heard along the way and how would that make me feel? I think I'd feel a little bit proud and probably a little bit content as well, saying, well, it, was maybe a little bit hard, but it was enjoyable. And there were some sad times, there's some guilty times and things like that. But I did my best. I tried to make something and give something back for that. So what would you do? Just take a moment, if you can, and just think, what are the things you would have liked to have done if you were on or taking your last few breaths and you were to look back over your timeline, that ultimate vision, the ultimate vision of you, what led up to it? What are the things that you did, you created, you caused to happen? And just maybe they'll just pop into your mind every now and again. The things that you did so well. You had to strive for, struggle for sometimes. What did you see? What were the look on other people's faces? What did you hear? What things did you hear yourself say? Maybe an internal voice, the external voice. What did you hear from other people? And how does it make you feel, looking back, all the things you created, striving to be the ultimate vision of you? And you see that hasn't happened. That hasn't happened, not for you, not for me, because I'm still breathing. As an in breath, I have just a little click of the fingers and a tap of my head. I'm still alive and so are you. But when you think about that ultimate vision, what you would like to look back on from that place, what would happen if you wrote that down, the person that you strive to be and created? Because that's a wonderful ultimate vision. Because if you could write that down, you could better it, couldn't you? Because now you've got something to aim for. And, when we aim for it, I think your unconscious mind, especially when you do it, and as you think about it, you feel so grateful, so good, a life well lived, you could probably go, I wonder what I can learn just from that to make it even better

A few months ago, I was beating myself up for wasting time

And this is where I get this reminder. And, I've noticed I get it quite a lot now, because I did have a real problem with time, I really did. A few months ago, I was beating myself up for wasting time and I kept getting this aha moment, simple ahas, Then they just kept repeating and repeating and as if my unconscious mind was trying to re remind me of what I knew. And all it says is, there's only one source, one source to your ultimate vision. One source every day, one source every hour, one source every breath. And it's your intention, your positive intention. And when you hold that ultimate vision in your mind's eye, that's your intention. And when you do that, it just means then you're not going to waste time. Because as you find yourself maybe wasting time, I know I do, I will suddenly get a kick up the bum. I'll get a reminder. No Cloughie, not this. Let's do something useful, something kind, something good. And I get in so many different variations, different contexts, as it were. I'll be reminded when I'm journaling. And sometimes I write in my journal, I go, do you know what? I'm really blank. I've got nothing to say, nothing to write, nothing. And then all of a sudden, it's as if my pen starts writing without me, and it re reminds me, so what do you want? What would you like to have? What would you like to expect to happen in your life? How can you build on what you've done and to do that? Yes, there's time for fun, because that's good, too. Because it's relaxing. It gives time to everything to settle and enjoy life, because life is to be enjoyed. But also enjoyable stretches. It's those ideas that come to mind. You go, ah, this is something to spend time on, the puzzle book. And I do sell those. No, I don't, because you can buy them. They're all in. The puzzle book is, by the way, in all good bookshops, all good stationaries, because it's basically a book with plain paper in. You can get them lined. You can go really upmarket and get them with, like, little squares on graph paper. You can get different qualities, but it doesn't matter, because then you can just think. And, writing is thinking and asking questions and finding answers, and they all seem to come back to the same thing. What is your intention? What is your desire? What do you want to have happen? So now it's about just knowing that whatever time we've got, it's to use it. I nearly wrote in my notes, don't waste it. But that's, you know, when you think about the negative, don't waste it. All you think about is wasting time. But I'm thinking about now. How can I use this moment? How can I use this time? What am I doing today? What am I doing this morning? And as I do that, holding that ultimate vision of myself, see that person I want to be, strive to be, what would they do in this moment? What thing would they choose to do to create that? Me, you know, just expanding. Expanding and learning to make life richer. And I think that's a brilliant, brilliant part, to be thinking and just learning and expanding to make our life richer. Because when our life is richer, I know the type of person you are. It means you'll be creating richer lives for other people as well. And we talk about where I talk about wheels and spokes, wheels being the different areas of my life, and the spokes being the bits that make up those different areas of my life. The context, and that's what I felt was, this keeps coming back. If you don't know what to do, pick one and start working on it. And as soon as you find yourself, I'll catch yourself. I'm talking to myself, by the way, now, not you. Catch myself doing things which aren't productive, that aren't going to make a difference. But also there is, remember, there will be joy. This is just not a struggle. This is doing things because I want to do them. I've just forgotten I got lost in the rabbit hole. So now then I can, even if nothing else, I can just say, what can I learn? Can I sit down? I've got five minutes. Can I sit down and read something that I can experience something different? Maybe I just sit and think. Maybe just see the beauty of the world. Sometimes just stopping and pausing and seeing the beauty of the world can be that one thing that helps you grow because you suddenly realize how beautiful life is, how beautiful nature is, how different nature is. You look round and try to find the same thing. You bloody can't. Everything is completely unique. Every leaf, every blade of grass, every bit of every tree. Everything is unique. There's not one identical to another. You might get identical twins, by the way, but generally, you know what I mean? And that's like you. And I'm thinking, I'm not sure because, you know, taking this responsibility to be a cause, no excuse, accept no excuses. Hold yourself. I'm talking myself again, holding myself to a better level, better standard. I'm thinking maybe I'm going to record a hypnosis track for this, just to get my unconscious mind into the habit, to break the pattern of that doom scrolling and things like that and create the habit of, just being the best version of ourselves. You have to have a think about that. If that's something you'd like, let me know, because you know, I've got all those hypnosis tracks, haven't I? I'll tell you about them now.

 

Paul Cloughie has put his hypnosis tracks on a separate website

 

So the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks. Why have I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website? Well, it's so simple really. I wanted you to have them all in one place so you can look through them all. You can find the particular one you want. I've even made them downloadable so you can put them on any of your playing devices that you prefer. You don't need Wi Fi, you don't need the itunes or whatever, you can put them anywhere you like. You can even burn them onto disk if you want. Where do you get them? Well, there you go. I told you. It's paulcluffonline.com podcast. If you're worried about your email address, please don't be, because they stay totally safe with me. I only use them to send you out that email and give you access, simple as that. I send you a link, a special link, so you and only you can access those hypnosis tracks, because I want them just for you. And the other thing about this is you've taken responsibility. I don't want to make these open to everyone, just random. You have taken responsibility to listen and be part of this community of personal development. And I want to help you. I want to help you personally to get your dreams, your goals, and therefore I'm giving you these tools, these protocols, these paradigms, whatever you want to call them, but in deep hypnosis. So just enjoy, have more fun than you can stand with. Hypnosis.

Yeah, that was all about my hypnosis tracks. But sometimes when we start to look at stuff and say, I really want to do this, now I know what to do, I'm going to take responsibility for doing it, and you still don't do it. That's the time, I think, when we find, if we can find out what's stopping you, what's stopping me, this is the bit I'm going to do. This is my own self work. Yeah, self work. As I push myself and I get in that resistance, like a sort of resistance, by feeling a negative emotion, I'm going to search for that limiting belief that surrounds it, because that's something to work on. Now, it's your unconscious mind saying, look, there's something to learn here first, which will allow you to be free. And there's a reason, there's a positive intention behind that. Now, if we can get that and understand it and find it a better way, we can understand what our unconscious mind is doing for us, and we'll grow even, even bigger, better, richer. How do you listen to your unconscious mind to get those aha, moments? What I do if I get in my journal, just so you know, I put a bloody great star, I keep writing, then I put a big star behind it, beside it, and I'll go back and take it out and just put it on a separate piece of paper, just rewrite it, maybe make a note, keep them together. And I see a pattern. And sometime that pattern, it's, well, it's hiding in plain sight. It's just there. But sometimes we're distracted and we need that little bit of help. And when we do that, I think you find your unconscious mind gives you more ideas, more aha, moments. It begins to use that reticular activating system that starts to show or focus on the things that match up with your desires, your intentions. It's like we then start to get lucky. Coincidences just happen by coincidence. Serendipity comes and bops you on the nose with some wonderful things. So don't beat yourself up. If you're still struggling to do things and you know they're the right things to do, but you're just not being able to do it, what are you going to do? Well, listen to your emotions, because emotions are feeling, but listen to it. Sit quietly, put your attention, your awareness, just into the feeling and ask, what are you trying to do for me? What could I do for you? How is this keeping me safe? Is there a better way? What can I learn from this? You ask those questions with your puzzle book, your pen and paper. You will find wonderful answers. And if you can't, if you've struggled a little bit, you know what to do. You can email me. Say that again more clearly. Cloughie. You can email [email protected]. And just give me a little bullet point. This is the thing I'm, wanting to do. And this is what I'm struggling. And this is a type of emotion I'm feeling. Maybe you understand the limiting belief, but if you don't, don't worry. One of the things of finding that limiting belief, you go into that emotion, you put your awareness there and you just ask, what do I believe about myself when I have this feeling? And you might get something like, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm an idiot, I'm stupid. I get those and then I go, okay, well, I know that's not quite true. So what are you trying to do for me? How are you holding me back from doing this? Because I haven't got enough maybe competent skills. So now I know to look for them, to learn from, to find somebody to help me. You can email me to get that help, but just sit with those questions and be open to listening, listening with, say, all your senses. Because sometimes it doesn't come as a word, a sentence, a voice. Sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, like me, it just comes randomly in that journal. But my unconscious mind knows I, want to journal every morning so he can let me know. Then sometimes it might be as a memory suddenly flash into your mind. It might be suddenly a thought that goes, learn this. Look, here's a book. Take five minutes, have a look. Serendipity calls. So many things we could do. And then we know when we're taking our last breath, whenever that is not for a long time for both of us. We'll be able to go, I'm pretty content at that. I've done well. I've done well. Maybe we can then just say, yeah, I've been kind, and it's been a good life, not a wasted life. It's been fruitful. It's been caring and helpful to others, too. Now, wouldn't that be good? Wouldn't that be good? So think about the hypnosis. If you'd like a hypnosis track, I'll produce one. Got some ideas about hypnosis tracks. Now, I'm going to do them slightly differently, so, I might try, try that out on that one I have to see, but let me know if that's something of interest to you. Also let me know if there's something that you're finding a little struggle with, like a little barrier that you can't quite get through over, around, and I'll help you with that. And, yeah, that's it.

The only thing you have to do is a couple of things

The only thing you have to do is a couple of things. Could you share this with somebody by just talking about it in your own words and notice what's stuck, notice what's different, maybe because sometimes when you repeat things, you go, ah, I've put a different slant on that. And if you do, you have to come back to me and tell me. Well, I thought this came up to mind. Cloughie, what do you think about this? Because I want to know all the different connotations, how this all fits together, and by your experiences, you'll filter it differently, and I'd love to hear about that. So try sharing it by verbalizing it. If not, try to write it down without listening. Just write it down on that puzzle. But what did I learn from this, this podcast? What did Cloughie say? How can I learn from this and make it even better? Because you can always make it better. That's what I do when I look and try to model people. What can I learn, and how can I make it better? Let's see what we can do. Take all their experiences in one go and make it better. There you go. And if you do accidentally press that subscribe button, that would be a good accident, wouldn't it? You could sit back on your. Taking your last breath. Last breath. Get it right, Cloughie, and go, it's been a good life, and I did press that subscribe button. See, I can't even say it properly now. Anyway. Have more fun than you can stand. That's the thing. You have to do more fun than you can stand. And I'll be back with the shorter five minute quickie podcasts, things to muse about and longer podcasts. So please enjoy. And again, as I say, have more fun than you can start. Babana warn me you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Learning By Not Copying Or Modeling the skills you want to learn

Modeling excellence involves observing and understanding the methods, strategies, and mindset of those who excel in a particular field, and then adapting and applying those insights to your own work or life. It's about recognizing patterns of success and distilling the essence of what makes someone or something excellent, rather than merely copying their actions without understanding the underlying principles.

When you model excellence, you're not trying to replicate every detail of what someone else does. Instead, you're looking to extract the core principles and approaches that lead to success and applying them in your own unique way. This approach allows for creativity and innovation while still benefiting from the wisdom and experience of those who have achieved excellence in your chosen field. By modeling rather than copying, you can develop a deeper understanding of what it takes to excel and tailor it to your own strengths and circumstances.

Lets Muse on this over the next 5 minutes or so and see how we learn what others took years to learn.

Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-441-learning-by-not-copying/ ‎

and the video link:  https://youtu.be/PJUSlNcVTLo

Shine brightly

Paul

Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. 

If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected]

If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review

Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com

  If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie

 I’m a therapist but not your therapist

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take.

Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com

tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

    Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

 

A Twist To The Act of Gratitude

I often feel the act of gratitude, writing those 5 things you're grateful for can end up being a little bit by rote, and the feeling just diluted.

This got me thinking of how we can vary this to keep things alive.

This is not a replacement just a little spicing up and gets you thinking a little deeper about what you are grateful for.

Sometimes just breaking the pattern ( a pattern interrupt) can make all the difference. And feeling grateful, truly grateful makes all the difference to our lives and what we attract in them.

Please share  https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-440-a-twist-to-the-act-of-gratitude

And there is as usual now a video of this recording here at YouTube https://youtu.be/lguyPPMPYHw

Shine brightly

Paul

Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected]

If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review

Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com

If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast

Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie 

I’m a therapist but not your therapist

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take.

Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com

tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

 

 

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

I'm Scarred and Imperfect PART 2 We've done the talk now it's the walk

In the journey of self-discovery and personal growth, embracing imperfections isn't just about accepting them; it's also about engaging in the profound act of self-healing. When we confront our scars and imperfections head-on, we embark on a journey of healing that can lead to greater self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. Self-healing begins with acknowledging and accepting our imperfections without judgment or self-criticism. It's about recognizing that our scars, whether physical or emotional, are part of our story but do not define us. Instead of viewing them as flaws to be hidden or fixed, we can see them as opportunities for growth and transformation.

One of the most powerful tools in self-healing is self-compassion. Just as we would show kindness and understanding to a friend facing challenges, we can offer the same compassion to ourselves. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with gentleness, patience, and understanding, especially in times of struggle or pain. Another essential aspect of self-healing is forgiveness. This includes forgiving ourselves for past mistakes, letting go of resentments, and releasing the burdens of guilt or shame.

Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning harmful behavior or forgetting the past; rather, it's about freeing ourselves from the emotional weight that holds us back from healing and growth. Self-care is also integral to the process of self-healing. This involves prioritizing our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being through practices such as exercise, mindfulness, creative expression, and seeking support from loved ones or professionals when needed. By nurturing ourselves holistically, we create the conditions for healing to take place.

Finally, self-healing requires courage and vulnerability. It's about facing our fears, confronting painful emotions, and being willing to explore the depths of our inner selves.

This journey isn't always easy or linear, but it is incredibly rewarding, leading to greater self-awareness, resilience, and a deeper sense of connection to ourselves and others. In embracing imperfections as opportunities for growth and engaging in the art of self-healing, we empower ourselves to live more authentically, wholeheartedly, and compassionately. As we navigate this journey, may we remember that our scars are not signs of weakness but testaments to our strength and capacity for transformation.

And that's where we go now - into the process of self-care and that transformation. Buckle up!!!

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/387-im-scarred-and-imperfect-part-2

Shine brightly 

Paul

Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. 

If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected]

If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review

Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com

  If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie

 I’m a therapist but not your therapist

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take.

Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com

tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Let's dive straight in with a recap. So are you going to be open and honest with me, with yourself

 

So here's your heads up to this part two. The part two of I'm, scarred. I've got imperfections, and I'm celebrating them because I'm acknowledging them. Let's dive straight in with a recap. Personal, personal. Developer. Developer. Plugged. plugged, plugged, plugged. So you're back for more. Back for more. So are you going to be open and honest with me, with yourself? Are you going to notice? Because let's recap. This is part two. Let's just very quickly recap. We know that all. We're all a little bit broken, we're all a little bit damaged. We've all got a little ism now and again.

 

We've got a little bit of fear.

 

We'Ve got a little bit of anxiety.

 

We'Ve got a little bit of I'm.

 

Not good enough in different contexts. And we want to bring those out, out into the light and put a spotlight on them and understand how we can learn from them. So you can remember what we talked about, because only a couple of days ago, you might even be putting one and two together. I don't know. But now let's go through the process of what we're going to do with when we acknowledge these imperfections, these little scars. And if for some of you, they are pretty big, just remember, one to one therapy is absolutely awesome, but you'll have done the work.

 

Listen to this.

 

You'll have done a lot of the work for yourself and the therapist, because you'll know the one thing, the one thing that, when changed, will make the difference. That's where we're going, by the way. That's where we're going. Little heads up. So, are we going to be good? So, really set your intention now I'm going to find the one thing that when I change it, it's going to affect my life immeasurably in a wonderful way. So, having said that now, and we're all in the same little groove, let's go. Let's go and have the second part of I'm scarred, I'm imperfect. Okay, let's go.

 

 

What are your qualities? What are the things that you do well

 

So. So now what you've made that mind map of some people might call it my faults, my imperfections, my acknowledgement, my mind map of my imperfections. And you will, notice then you're recognizing that you've lived a life, because someone who hasn't lived a life doesn't have qualities or have imperfections. They are a straight liner. So I want you to flip it because you have lived a life, and you've lived a life, and you've experienced other things in your life, the good things, the positive things, and you've learned a bloody lot. You wouldn't be here if you hadn't learned and want more. So what are your qualities? What are the things that you do well? You enjoy? Now? Simple mind map, my qualities. Now, I don't know what number it is.

 

I'll see if I can find it.

 

Before the end, but I did a longer podcast on my qualities and how it came about, because it came about when I was really broken, really, really, really broken, and I had to bring it out just to find out whether, you know, find something in my life that had a quality. One thing I think that was, I can breathe. That's how bad it was, you know? Okay, well done, cluffy. You can breathe. So you're here, at least you're still above ground. But that, that's how it came about. But this is now to bring to light the things that you do well, the things that you enjoy.

 

And you've only got to have done.

 

It once, because if you've done something well once, that means you could do it well again. And there are things like, have you ever helped anybody? Have you ever, you know, been selfless.

 

Service, didn't want anything in reply, but.

 

You just helped somebody. Maybe you've just made someone smile and.

 

Just took away the.

 

The edge. Maybe things you've learned, you know, like me, I've learned hypnosis, and then I've learned deeper into all the different processes that I can use. And some I've just, you know, made them my own in some way. And that, to me, was my quality. Now, I know that you have done similar things with the things that you enjoy. You know, maybe it's some type of sport and you don't have to excel.

 

In it, really, you know, to a top level professional.

 

No, I did that well. I enjoyed it. I did it with a good intention, and I, you know, I got where. Got to a level, which I'm happy with. I know I can get better. but this is a quality in me. Maybe you just maybe like looking after animals, being with your best friend, telling jokes, making people laugh, telling stories, just being there. So many different things that you can put out or put out onto that piece of paper. And if you want, you also have a hypnosis track for it to use with that mind map of my qualities. And all you have to do where you know where to go. It's paulclufonline.com podcast. And you'll get that email and you get your personal link and you go there and you scroll down and you go, oh, there it is, my qualities.

 

I'll have a little listen to that. And it's hypnosis.

 

so it goes in the conscious and unconscious level. Whoa. Because a lot of this is conscious, but your unconscious mind is always listening. Remember Deepak Trop, I can't say his name, Deepak Chopra wrote in one of his books, your unconscious mind is always listening in on your conversations. And your conversations can be verbal. That, internal voice of yours could.

 

Be what you're thinking, the pitches you.

 

Make in your mind.

 

Well, when you start looking at your.

 

Qualities, you're going to feel good, and your unconscious mind is listening, watching.

 

 

Now, what I want you to do is look at both mind maps

 

Now, what I want you to do is look at both, both of those mind maps now. And, as you look at your qualities, you know, you've got the, the ability to learn and do things. You've got a load of skills there.

 

We would call it in the hypnosis.

 

World or hypnotherapy world, as resources. You've got a load of resources there to help you change. And then with that, if you look at them all and go, how good.

 

Do I feel about looking at all my qualities?

 

Get that inner feeling, that emotion, and then look at that page of your imperfections and just notice, if I could only change one of those, just one, which one would make the most difference to my qualities? Which one would make those qualities shine even more?

 

Because it will.

 

One of them will just jump out.

 

You go round that circle.

 

You go, ah, that's it. That's the one I'm going to work on. I'm not going to do the rest. Not yet. Because, you see, when you change one, those other buggers change and they don't feel as bad or they disappear completely. That's the beauty of doing it this way. You don't do a scattergun approach, pray and spray, or spray and pray, whichever way that goes. You just look at it and let your unconscious mind and your conscious mind come together and go, if I could.

 

Only change one of those.

 

Which one of those imperfections, those isms, if I got a handle on it, if I changed it, what one would make the most difference to my qualities? And when you look at that, you're going to take, okay, that's the one. Now, we can, get it on another page, maybe. What small steps can I start to use?

 

Where do you find those bloody steps?

 

Well, first of all, you have to schedule it down. We've talked about this so many times. Schedule a better time down for yourself.

 

Because no other bugger is going to work on yourself for you.

 

You've got a wonderful, powerful brain. You got a wonderful, most superpower of an unconscious mind with all those resources.

 

So if you put down half an.

 

Hour a week, wow, bugger me, half an hour cloughy, I can spare longer than that. Yeah, but you don't. I didn't, but I do now. I'm going to schedule in. I got a gap. There's my half hour. Oh, I can do it again on Thursday. See, here we go.

 

Now, what do you do in those small steps?

 

Maybe you go through that list of hypnosis tracks and go, actually, this one really helps deal with this imperfection in air quotes.

 

So, maybe you have a listen to that because in that hypnosis and.

 

You go to the associated longer podcast because they're obviously linked, it will give you the skills, some processes, some thoughts, how to use this imperfection, to learn from it, even if you just, not even as you do that, as you can reflect in that time to reframe it. What is the positive intention? What is it trying to do for me.

 

 

Cluffy says working on loneliness has helped him become more creative

 

A little bit about that loneliness.

 

I was talking about. See, I got when I was looking to find my new why.

 

I don't know why I called it a new why, because I've obviously got a why. Part of it is doing this.

 

Obviously, I say obviously. It's obvious to me that I'm trying to share what I've learned with as.

 

Many people as I can.

 

Because if I can just help you, that's me done. Done a good job.

 

But when I look back through my.

 

Life, all the things where I felt was my passion, my why, I did most of them by myself.

 

And then I looked at that and.

 

Said, well, that's when you focus, Cluffy. That's when you really get deep.

 

That's when you start to get to.

 

Do the stuff that is creative. So I said to myself, that is a superpower.

 

When I want to do stuff which.

 

Is good, creative, selfless service, I'm going to do it because no one else can. I want to use my best friend so I'm not alone anymore because I've got a best friend inside.

 

And then I remembered what I write.

 

In my journal, every journal for I don't know how many years a front page says, you're never alone, you never by yourself. You're always with yourself.

 

You're with your best friend. So you can't be bloody alone.

 

Cluffy, you dick. And I go, ah, that's right. So this loneliness is two things. It's allowing me to become creative because that's when I function my best. But also I realize I need connection so I can work on that connection in a different context. So when I see my friends, I make an effort now to find connection with my, with me mates. Go and have a beer now, and we just sit and just talk about football or anything. A sucker. And it's just being social.

 

But when I want to do the.

 

Stuff I want to do, I'm happy. Now that I'm not completely weird by doing things on my own. But as the things we've said before, you are uniquely weird. So am I.

 

So now, having worked on that loneliness.

 

Thinking, okay, I'm okay with it.

 

I'm no longer sad because I got.

 

Really sad when I told you about that day, a couple of days, I was really quite inside.

 

I didn't show it too well because.

 

Again, you're hiding this bloody stuff.

 

I wasn't showing it up until I.

 

Sat down, scheduled some time, did a little bit of self hypnosis and found out the positive intention. And, I'm happy with that now, because now I know I can be this and that, not this or it's. And so which one will you do now?

 

I know you don't know at the.

 

Moment because you probably haven't been scribbling out the mind maps as you do, but I do suggest if you do that, you will find something that, that you go, ah, that's the one. Because when you think about all the things, all the isms, all the things.

 

It'S overwhelming when you find that one thing.

 

What if I just change that a little bit? That'll flip. That will make a big difference.

 

And when you do it and you work on it, and then you look.

 

Back and you review, because we always schedule do. And then review, you look back and go, actually, that feeling's gone. Oh, for me, as I say, you.

 

Know, that feeling is when, I'm happy to be creative in different ways and I'm also doing different things in different contexts now, things I wasn't doing.

 

Weren'T doing, wasn't doing. And it's made such a difference. So changing one thing has now changed.

 

So many different things.

 

But I found the one thing, the one thing that would make a difference. And you can't get it wrong because it will jump out at you. And also, once you look back and.

 

You may go, well, maybe once I've.

 

Done that, if there was one other thing that's still there, if it's still there, which other thing would I change? Because it's going to be a moving target, as it were.

 

 

You might go, well, I can actually help. I can schedule the time

 

It's a different map of the world. Now, we all live with our own maps of the world, but our map of the world is not the territory. It's not reality. It's our reality. So let's change it.

 

Let's acknowledge it. Shine a light on these buggers.

 

Learn and, change. Now you might go, and this is where I want to come in. This is where I want to help. You might go, well, I can actually.

 

See this thing about, you know, I've got the same as you cluffy or, you know, I've got this anxiety here.

 

Or do that or whatever, and I.

 

Don'T know what to do.

 

I don't know what. I can schedule the time. Yeah, I can do that, but I don't know what steps to take. I don't know really which hypnosis track. So what do you do with that? Let me know. Let, me know by email me. I can't. My words this morning. Email me at feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged. Um.com.

 

 

Do mind maps to help you change imperfections in your life

 

Which area, which con, you know, which area in your life would you like to change or what type of imperfection and, what context? That's all I need, maybe. How would you like to be? They're the three. What would you like to change? How has it affected you? May be and how would you like to be? And then we'll do something. You'll get a personal reply from me.

 

I can't say it's obvious, but.

 

You will, because that's what I do. But you'll see then, as we've done before, we have, I've had questions and a longer podcast comes from it, and it not only helps that person who's asked a question, but it helps so many others because you can adapt the answers. That's nearly, ah, that gives me.

 

The thing I can start working on.

 

And once you get the flow going.

 

Your unconscious mind goes, care, come on.

 

Let'S do it now. Now you want to learn.

 

I don't need to keep hitting you.

 

With this bloody, anxiety, this fear now because you want to learn about it. And now we can move on because you've shown me the direction you want to go. You've shown me how you want to feel, because sometimes even just visualizing what you want to feel is enough. And, then m we can really be celebrating how open and honest we are. We can celebrate these little imperfections. In a way that means we're celebrating. Because we're celebrating. We're going to change, going to make a big difference. You see, you can try to hide it.

 

This is my meta part of this.

 

You could try to hide this, push it down. Apparently, there's a thing that blokes do. They push it down, keep it away. What happens keeps bubbling up, gets more intense because it's wrong. It's there for a reason. And as you let it come into the spotlight, then you can start learning. Because, you know, at the end of the day, this life is not what they call a bed of roses. There are great times when it is.

 

And there are times where maybe it.

 

Isn'T, but the times that it isn't, we can learn from. And the times that it is, we can learn from. And how do I want you to feel now? I swore at this, and I'll change it. He started with an f, but we'll go, hell, yes. That's how I want you to feel. Hell, yes. I can do this. I can be who I want to be. All I've got to do is do it. Follow. If you just follow these little steps, you'll be doing the one thing that I think is the most important part of this. You will be making your own destiny, not your own reality. Well, you will be, but I thought.

 

When I was writing and making my little side notes, why is this so important?

 

Because you're creating your own destiny. You're realizing it is in your hands. You're realizing that you are responsible for all of this. No other bugger. You are responsible. And that is brilliant, because that means you get to change it.

 

Because if you weren't responsible, you'd have to wait for some other bugger to come and do it for you.

 

And they ain't. They're not going to do that. There you go.

 

Have a little thing.

 

Get those mind maps going, please. Even, just to, just to please.

 

Me, if that's a word.

 

Just do the mind maps. Even if you do nothing else.

 

I know. Just by doing those mind maps, m it will.

 

Well, you'll do the rest. You will.

 

Because you'll realize when you go what.

 

One thing will change. All the good stuff from my imperfections. If I just change that one thing, you know, well, it's got to be worth it, because it's not only going.

 

To change one thing, it's going to.

 

Change every bloody thing for the better.

 

 

Please share this, if you would. It's like paying it forward in a good way

 

There you go. Please share this, if you would. Share, you know, do the.

 

My maps.

 

Share. Share what you've done.

 

You don't have to show people all the bits and pieces, but the process.

 

Because that's one of the things that if, when we do this, first of all, we learn. We learn how much we know, we.

 

Learn the little bits of maybe, oh, I don't understand that myself now, now.

 

I'm trying to explain this to you.

 

And go back into it, and then.

 

You really get it and it'll make.

 

A difference to you and it'll make.

 

A difference of them, which makes a.

 

Difference to somebody else.

 

And you, the old thing, you will never know how far the ripples of.

 

Change will go, because not just in.

 

Your life, in everyone else's life.

 

Be.

 

The change you want to see in yourself that will now affect everybody else, be infectious in wonderful change. So if you would, if you would share this, and I always ask, I don't know if you ever do, I don't know how many people, because I don't get a record of this that much. How many of you have actually subscribed? Because I'm pouring my little heart out here. Yeah, I'm pouring my heart out here. If you could just subscribe, that would be awesome, because that just makes things.

 

Come up in front of other people.

 

And they go, maybe I'll look at that. It's got a lot of subscribers. Must be doing something. And we'll all be doing something then. It's like paying it forward in a good way. And it's really the real act of.

 

Selfless service because you're not going to.

 

Get anything in return for that. No one's going to pay you to do it. But the law of, reciprocity, that lovely word reciprocation, comes back in dollops. Back to the dollops. Anyway, do have more fun than you can stand. And I'll be back with another podcast and you'll know about it because you'll have subscribed by now. Have more fun than you can stand.

 

It's time to fly.

 

And if you are new here, have.

 

A little listen to the after that.

 

Because I'll explain all what the unplugged podcast is about.

 

 

Paul Clough hosts the personal development unplugged podcast

 

Okay, that's me, Paul, hopefully a friend. Let's get personal. Bye bye.

 

Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.

 

Personal development unplugged.

 

Hey, welcome. Welcome to the personal development unplugged.

 

podcast.

 

So pleased you're here. Your time is valuable and precious.

 

So what I would like to do.

 

Is fill that time that you share with me with the most shiny golden nuggets to help improve your life, to get your goals, your wishes, your dreams to come to fruition quicker, bigger, better than you could ever imagine. Using your imagination, using hypnosis, using NLP, neuro linguistic programming, all of that. Using all things of the mind, no brain hacks, but real solid processes to deconstruct what people do to become great. And then find the processes that we can install that in ourselves to support you in your dreams and get what you really want in life.

 

Anyway, who am I?

 

I'm Paul, Paul Clough. And just going to have conversations with you in this podcast and get you thinking, but also share those processes because we're going to have so much fun.

 

That's it.

 

We're going to have fun for a.

 

Change because we can sit down for.

 

A spell and have more fun than we can stand creating the world we want to live in and be the person we want to be in that world. The only limitation, the only limitation is your imagination. And you've got bucket loads, by the way.

 

Bucket loads. Have a listen. You really must.

 

 

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

I'm Scarred and Imperfect Part 1

Let's celebrate just how we are and then learn how to we can change to be who we wish to be and have what we wish to have.

We do need to acknowledge where we are in this striving to be the best version of ourselves so we can build on it, start and continue to build from a firm and stable foundation.

To me - We're all a ikkle bit broken or a little bit damaged, we've all got a few 'isms' and we carry a little bit of baggage and that's great! Because when we do truthfully acknowledge this to ourselves we can begin to make meaningful changes, which I guess is why you listen hear.

When we try to deny that imposter syndrome ism, guilt ism, anxiety ism and every other emotional ism you can think of we will continue the internal conflict and waste that valuable energy we have. Let's use it to create a life we can be proud of.

As usual I'll share some personal stories and insights.

In this episode we'll lay all the ground work for the changes you want to make ready for part 2. I won't keep you hanging for part 2 so get your skates on and DO THE WORK, which isn't hard but you have to do it if you want the results - and I know you do  :O)

Please share the episode so others may learn too

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/386-im-scarred-and-imperfect-part-1

 

 

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Shine brightly

Paul

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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Heads up to the longer podcast. It'll come on in the next few days

 

So here's your heads up. Heads up to the longer podcast. I'm scarred. I'm imperfect. Yay. I say, yay. Yay. Yeah. I'm celebrating. I'm celebrating and acknowledging that we're all a little bit broken, we're all a little bit damaged, we're all a little bit ism'd. And that's great because that means when we acknowledge it, we are going to change our world in such a wonderful way. And if you'd like to do that, have a listen after the little 15 2nd intro.

 

So, just to let you know, before we get into the whole of this podcast, when I recorded it, it just went on in a good way. And I felt there's a time when we should split it up in the middle so we can let things just integrate the thoughts, get together, and then hit the second half where we really get deep into the process of being able to look at these imperfections, these scars, and, make a difference to our lives. So look out for that. I'm not going to leave you hanging and have you hanging days and days and weeks and weeks. It'll come on in the next, I think the next three or four days. Okay, so listen to this first half, get into it, and then following few days will come that second half. But I think that'll give you time to really, I don't know, get your mind processing what we can do.

 

We're back with a longer podcast. I'm scared. He's not scared

 

Okay, here we go. Boom. And we're back with a longer podcast. I'm scared. He's not scared. I'm scared. I'm imperfect. That was a title.

 

You have to be honest about what you're thinking about, m

 

And, I have a question for you. I've got a question. Are you open? Open to what? Cloughie open. To be honest. maybe you might think. Honest about what? Well, let me tell you, m, I'll go through a few things. Have you seen that t shirt? The t shirt is advertised on a lot of social media. And it says, I'm broken with the okay in the middle is brighter, so you see it looks like I'm okay. But then you read it a little bit closer and it says, I'm broken. With that funny smiley face with a bandage or two and a cut and things like that, and a little plaster. I love it. I bought one. I thought about it for such a long time because I just loved that. Just love the emoji of it all. I'm broken. And let's admit it, we're all a bit, aren't we? We're all a bit broken. Somewhere. Some people maybe think they're broken more than others, but we've all got a little bit inside us, I think. Just, a little bit broken. Here's another one for you. Hear it. Hear it being talked about. Other people saying they're damaged. But I'm damaged. Yeah, that could be you speaking, couldn't it? And I hear you. I'm damaged. You are damaged. So am I. And so is every other bugger. Everyone. He's just a little bit damaged. I don't care what they say. I, know they're damaged. Yeah, we do. We are. We're a little bit broken. We're a little bit damaged. Everyone's got a bloody ism. They have. I've got an ism. Perfectionism. Knowing I can never be perfect. I mean, that's a real conflict in itself. And it comes from. Yeah, I'm not good enough. And, we've all got one of those, haven't, we. We've all got that. We've all got the other isms. Depression. Depression. Ism. Fear of missing out ism. I'm an imposter ism. We've all got those. We've all got them in bits, you know, we got little bits of it. Different criteria. Not different criteria, different context. I, may be as confident as anybody in the world in one context, and I could be a scared little mouse. Maybe in another context, maybe not quite.

 

Scared.

 

But we all think we're an impostor somewhere along the line, in a context or other. But you have to be honest. You have to be open to be honest. Somewhere we have these things going on, maybe not, you know, so they're massive, massive, massive. But if you go through your life and the things you've done maybe yesterday or the week, in the week, and just notice when you just felt a little bit m. that wasn't good. Oh, I felt a bit scared. Felt a little bit broken. Maybe I thought I was missing out. Maybe I thought, buck and me, they'll find me out here.

 

You know.

 

Shall I go on? Shall I go on? Yes, I will go on. I will. I want to get personal. Not with you. Not with you, of course. Well, I will. But this is about me, you see. I'm an introvert. Now, is that broken?

 

Maybe.

 

M maybe sometimes when it'll be better to be not extrovert, but be open and connected as opposed to sitting in the corner or it feels like I'm sitting in the corner, even when I'm, in a room with people, sometimes I think, I think too much. They are thinking about thinking too much, and it bogs me down. I wonder why I do that. We don't ask why here. I wonder, what could I learn from that? But on the other hand, I know sometimes I don't think enough.

 

Do you ever get lonely? Do you ever feel isolated

 

So again, we've got another dichotomy, we've got another conflict. I get lonely. Do you? Do you ever get lonely? And I don't necessarily mean, like, the big pandemic of loneliness that we're experiencing in the world now, but there are times when I just feel quite lonely now, whether that's because I'm an only child. And when you're an only child, what do you do? You think a lot. You talk to yourself. There's no other bugger around to talk to, to play with. And, maybe sometimes that's good, but other times feel I might be missing out, you know, from siblings, people who maybe protect you, maybe push you up, support you, maybe they knock you down. I don't know. We're all a little bit like that, are we? Or is that just me? Does any of this resonate with you? What else? What about you? I've been open. I've been honest. I mean, I get angry too much. I'm working on that, and it's gone down a lot, at least I think it has. So all these things I'm working at, and working on with myself, some of them aren't m quite. They're not very comfortable. But I do know each one of those is just a little bit broken. He's just a little bit damaged. He's a little bit, you know, an ism of some kind. But I know they're all trying, you know, each one is trying to do something for me. It just doesn't feel that way sometimes, does it? You know, if you're feeling a little bit scared, not scarred this time, but scared, a bit fearful, bit anxious.

 

So.

 

Can you say, you know, you don't go through the week and you're not a little bit anxious, if you don't, that's awesome. You crack that code. But is there something else? Maybe a little bit, you know, when you're going to work or when, you know, how many of us have that conversation, which we know, we know it's the conversation to have, and we bottle it. I don't know if that's just a UK term, but we bottle it. We not bottle it up. we just bottle it by getting scared. We can't go through with it. And then we think too much.

 

And.

 

Then we get angry, maybe. And you have thoughts about other people, you know, what do they do? What am I doing? You know? So it's like being an imposter in your own life sometimes, but not massive. hopefully you can see when I talk to you, you know, reasonably sane, can hold a bit of a conversation, communicate, connect. I can learn stuff. I, share stuff. But there's these little things in the background just inside. And they're going to stay there unless you're open to be honest about them. You have to bring them out in the open. Bring them out into the light. Sometimes just bringing these things up into the light, into the light of your open mind is enough to look at it and go, well, I don't know where that came from, but that's not me. Oh, I remember where that came from. Yeah, I can understand how I felt that way, but not anymore. So now I've got to change. I can change. This is a lovely little reframe. But how can you bring them all out into the open? Because I don't want it to be super depressive. Because I've come out with my bits and I'm happy with that. Not happy that I've got them, but I'm happy that, you know, there are things I can work on. So how do you bring them out in the open? Or maybe you can do a Cloughie mind map. And my sort of mind maps are just with a circle, and lots of lines coming off. I don't necessarily do lots of lines off lines, but just little headings off each one. So a mind map, my imperfections, because none of us are perfect, are they? Are we? So it'd be nice just to bring out into the light, into delight my imperfections. And there'll be a flip side to this, I promise. There is. There is a flip side. If I want to start anywhere, I always start on the down because I love to finish on a high. So stay with me. Stay with me. But yes, you'd have to get a piece of paper, a book, your puzzle book, your idea book, whatever it is, a piece of paper. Don't do it in your head, because if you do it in your head, you'll never be able to come back to it. And it's not bringing it into the. Into the light, is it? See, I've written these down.

 

And,

 

I'm going to do something with them. Well, I'm doing something with them anyway. But I'll explain what I'm doing. So write down a little. Draw a little line away from that big circle in the middle of that paper which says my imperfections, and just write them down. You know, sometimes I think too much. Sometimes I get a little scared and just say the context. Sometimes I get a little anxious about. Sometimes I, this imposter at work. That's what I feel. Maybe feel imposter with your, with your friends. Which is crazy, because I just said in the sentence, you're friends. But it isn't crazy, is it? Because that's what we feel, and it's just an emotion. And emotions are there to, teach us something until we've learned it, and then they'll disappear. So that's where we're going.

 

 

Cloughie says sometimes the lonely and the sad go together

 

So just write them down and just notice. And we're not going to criticize ourselves. We're not going to we're certainly not going to edit them as you think of them. You I'll say that a bit more clearly as you think of them. Just write them down. So, you know, I do get lonely. I'm not lonely 100%, but I do get lonely occasionally. I do get sad occasionally. Sometimes the lonely and the sad go together. And I can actually sometimes link those together. I had a pretty deep experience of that, which is quite weird. I was looking for something really positive, and I came out with loneliness.

 

And

 

That affected me for a day. Not grossly. I could have worn my I'm broken t shirt for a day. But then, I got into it. But I'll tell you how I did that. You see, you have lived, haven't you? You've lived a life. You have life experiences. You've had experiences. Some of them will be absolutely brilliant and give you the confidence to carry on and do other stuff. They will affect other areas of your life. The ripples of that confidence will affect more than one context. But just like that, by having experiences and lived a life, we'll have had a few experiences that have scarred us, created these little. We could call them imperfections. And I only call them that is because I'd like to change them then. And they're never going to be perfect, but they're, just little imperfections. And you see, by bringing them into light, weirdly, I want to celebrate them. I want to celebrate being able to be honest with myself, celebrate being totally authentic with myself. I nearly swore then so did the rest. I'm not thinking about other people, about being authentic to everyone out there. Because you can't be authentic, really authentic, until you're authentic with yourself, until you're open and honest with yourself, because that's a safe place to be. You can have a little chat with yourself and go, okay, got to work on this. You talked yourself with your best friend as your best friend. Okay, Cloughie. So what are you going to do about this loneliness? Well, I changed that, you see, into a, into a superpower. I worked on that and, I'll tell you how that came about. Maybe, maybe, maybe this episode, maybe another episode, see how we get on. But I want to bring them out and celebrate. Celebrate that, this is me. Because, you see, I've already done a mind map of my qualities ages ago. And you see, when we're celebrating, we're simply acknowledging, acknowledging our imperfections, the things we would like to change. Bringing them out into the open to the light of day, as I say, as I said before, because when you acknowledge them, don't accept them. I have this thing about acceptance. If you accept them, you're accepting. In my mind, you're accepting it as it's being okay. It's okay to be, and it is, by the way. But I'd rather just acknowledge, acknowledge this emotion, those emotions. Because we acknowledge good emotions or say positive emotions and the ones we feel that are negative or give us a negative emotion, we just, yeah, we could just acknowledge them and it takes away their power. As soon as I wrote these things down, they were out. They're not bubbling inside. I'm not trying to push them down. I'm not trying to fight them. Because when you fight them, they just get stronger because they're trying to do something for you. And you're going, no, I don't want to learn. And they're going, well, you're going to have this emotion double then, until you get it Cloughie. But as soon as you bring them out, whoa, you get to own it. And just by owning it, I'll say that again properly, just by owning it, you get a little bit more inner confidence. Not like the pain in the ass people who are so ego led and overconfident. You see, the reason people are that confident is because they're not. They're trying to hide it from you and themselves. I know they have anxieties, they have fears, they have all those isms, and they're overcompensating. We've all seen those people. They are a pain in the ass, but we've all seen them. And if you could get them one to one and to be honest with themselves, they would admit to it, but they try to hide it. And the more you hide it, the more you push it down, the more it just fights back, as it were. So that's why I say, when we acknowledge these imperfections in air quotes, we really are, being truly authentic. You see, that's when you can really start working on yourself or working with yourself. See, we sort of celebrate, but, I don't want to celebrate them. And going, yeah, I'm so pleased that I'm a lonely old person who just thinks too much and. No, no, no, no. Because that's just being a bit of a dick. And that's what I call myself, by the way. Not you. I have this thing Cloughie. Sometimes you're a dick cloughy. Get back. Get back into the world and look at it for what it is. Because that's how I compliment myself. Cloughie, you're a dick. But I've made a little note of this. A well intentioned dick. Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear.

 

We think we should be perfect, but being perfect never happens

 

Anyway, you see, we do think, I think, we think anyway, that we should be perfect. We have to be perfect. Certainly, if you've got I'm, and I'm not good enough. Below the surface, there's another belief. But the behaviors we have and the thoughts we have is, well, if I'm really perfect, no one's going to pick me up. No one can find my fault. And that's never going to happen. Never ever going to happen. Because you're never going to be perfect. That's why I sell, I say sometimes celebrate our imperfections, because you might as well, because, now they're out, you can celebrate the fact that they're out into the open, because being perfect is never going to happen. And so on.

 

I've split this up into two parts so you don't get tired

 

that note, this is where we're going to stop, part one. And all I want you to do is just sit with that mind map. Don't do anything with it. Don't have to think about it for the moment, because it's a tool that we're going to use in part two. So just get it out on paper. And then in just a couple of days time, the next one will be out, part two. And we're really going to make the difference. The difference that makes a difference, where the ripples of change will go further and wider than you could ever believe. And guess what? It's really simple. Because in simple there's genius, or in simplicity there's genius. And I really want you to get the best of it, which is why I've split this up in two now, so you don't get tired. You can concentrate on one, and then you can really focus on the second part where the change happens. So do have fun, take a breath, relax, do the work, and then we'll be ready. I'm giving you time to make this change so wonderful. There you go. So I'll see you. I'll be with you in the next couple of days or in the next. Well, put it, part two. It's not gonna be very long. Okay, have fun. It's time to fly. Until the next time. Bye bye.

 

Paul Clough launches personal development Unplugged podcast

 

M. Warner, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.

 

Personal development unplugged. Hey, welcome. Welcome to the personal development Unplugged podcast. So pleased you're here. Your time is valuable and precious. So what I would like to do is fill that time that you share with me with the most shiny, golden nuggets to help improve your life, to get your goals, your wishes, your dreams, to come to fruition quicker, bigger, better than you could ever imagine. Using your imagination, using hypnosis, using NLP, neuro linguistic programming, all of that. Using all things of the mind, no brain hacks, but real, solid processes to deconstruct what people do to become great, and then find the processes that we can install that in ourselves to support you in your dreams and get what you really want in life. Anyway, who am I? I'm, Paul. Paul Clough. And just going to have conversations with you in this podcast and get you thinking, but also share those processes, because we're going to have so much fun. That's it. We're going to have fun for a change, because we can sit down for a spell and have more fun than we can stand creating the world we want to live in and be the person we want to be in that world. The only limitation, the only limitation is your imagination. And you've got bucket loads, by the way. Bucket loads. Have a listen. You really must.

Be Careful What You Practice

You might forget what you are practicing and find the results not to your liking.

This little 5-minute FMQ muse was inspired by listening to Denzil Washington correcting a reporter if he practices telling untruths that's what you will end up doing as a habit.

You see, we often get confused thinking practice makes perfect and it certainly doesn't.

Also, we have to practice consciously - which we don't.

All the more reason to be careful if you want the results you dream of and I know you do because you wouldn't be here.

Let's go make this clear by pressing play and then sharing to help others practice what they desire

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-439-be-careful-what-you-practice

There's a video of me for the FMQ here at YouTube  https://youtu.be/nBSvUt1Zq1o

Shine brightly

Paul

Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected]

If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review

Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com

 If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast

Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie 

I’m a therapist but not your therapist

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take.

Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com

tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,  

 

 

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

But I Don't Know Where To Start

We've all cried this at one time or another - Or is it just me?

And every reason I give seems so valid.

The harsh truth is every reason you give is an excuse or a whiney reason to get us out of doing the thing and in a lot of cases the thing could be just the thing you need to do to make your life GREAT.

So let's go make a difference and find out what stops you and what will make you start.

I'll share a couple of personal stories and even a way when you really don't know what step to take so there will never be an excuse or reason ever.

I hope this episode makes a real difference to your success, which is why I do this, and in that spirit please share this episode and the whole Personal Development Unplugged podcast:

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/385-but-i-dont-know-where-to-start/

Shine brightly

Paul

Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. 

If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected]

If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review

Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com

  If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie

 I’m a therapist but not your therapist

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take.

Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com

tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

How to find the first step of anything you want to do

 

Hey, your heads up to I don't know where to start and you don't. And, maybe you do, but I bet you give all the blooming reasons and excuses why you can't. And this is the antidote to that. How to find that first step, the middle step, the last step of anything you want to do, because it'll be so important to you, so compelling, you'll be motivated the hell to do it. Okay, have a listen after this.

 

 

Paul Clough: Reasons why you can't do anything are simply excuses

 

Hey, friend.

 

The longer podcast.

 

And I, hear this from so many people, I even hear it from myself sometimes.

 

And it's that thing, I don't know where to start.

 

I know what I want to do.

 

Ish, but I can't start because I.

 

Don'T know where to start.

 

And even that, that is thought to.

 

Be a valid reason. I don't know where to start. So that's a valid reason. No, it's a bloody excuse because reasons why you can't do anything are, simply excuses.

 

It's a bit harsh, clothy. Yeah, but they are.

 

There's always something to blame, as it were.

 

There's always somebody blame so that more.

 

Clearly somebody to blame. Oh, I can't do that because they need my time. Well, I've got to do this. I've got to do that for them first. I've got to look after them first. I can't do it myself. Oh, the weather's in the way. Oh, the economy's in the way. Oh, there's every bloody excuse under the.

 

Sun in the way.

 

So what was a valid reason? Isn't. There is no such thing as a valid reason for. I don't know where to start. But the thing is, we also say.

 

Why?

 

Why me? It seems so right to ask, why me? Why can't I find this thing? Why has it always happened to me that I can't do this thing I want to do? Why are these people always in the way? Why are these things, I've got different responsibilities. Why have I got these excuses, basically. And the thing is, asking that why.

 

Question like that, why me?

 

Why is it always happening? Will give you a brilliant answer.

 

It'd be false, by the way, but.

 

It'D be a brilliant answer because it'll be one of your limiting beliefs. Well, because I've got to do this or I can't do that. It's all bullshit. I remember years and years and years and years ago on my, I think it was the second week of my hypnotherapy training and we were learning something called the meta model, which I later found out was, even goes into even more detail when I did my NLP work, the meta model. And it's really a way of getting specific about an issue. So to clear away those excuses, those reasons, and find out what's below the surface. And the thing is, if we were.

 

To ask why in, because what would.

 

Happen is we would go away to do an exercise and talk to somebody. And in that talking we would look to go beneath the surface of whatever they said. And sometimes it got so interesting, you just go, oh, why did you do that?

 

Boom.

 

you were fined. You were fined at that time, 20 p. It wasn't a lot of money, but it was 20 p. But it stuck. It was like an anchor, it was like a pattern interrupt.

 

It suddenly stopped you because you would.

 

Then go, oh. It's because I think this a belief. Whereas a meta model to go beneath the surface would ask questions like, well, how do you want to be? How would you like to feel? What resources do you have? Who do you know?

 

Where would you like to be in so much time?

 

How long do you want to be doing this? How much time have you got? What are the real restrictions to that time? What do you know? What don't you know? Do you know? Somebody who knows this has done it before. Now they're real good questions because you start to go below the surface to find out information, to find out the facts. You want to try it, keep asking yourself those questions as you write the answer.

 

Yeah, write the answers down, but just.

 

Put how, what, who, where? And cross out a big capital w h y.

 

Because we don't know why, not yet.

 

That's going to come in a short while. You see, I think this is so important, so important because it removes the excuses. And those excuses stop us taking action and they'll probably put thoughts in your head to stop it, to stop taking that action.

 

 

Even questions like how do you know you can't do it make you think

 

And we want positive thoughts from these questions. How, what, who, where. Even questions like how do you know you can't do it?

 

Now that makes you think, doesn't it?

 

Well, how do I really know? It makes you go to the data, makes you go to the real facts.

 

Makes you become honest with yourself.

 

And you certainly know if you're dishonest with yourself or if you tell yourself a little fib, you say, oh, well, how do I know it's because, oh, no, no, no, I'm telling a fiber. That's another excuse. That's another reason. Cloughy told me about that. Here's my 20 p. And in fact, you're fine. You're fine today. Just thought about this. If you ask yourself the question why?

 

Or you answer a question why you have to share this podcast to two people. There you go.

 

Not 20, not 20 p for 20 people. But that's a UK money, by the way, sterling. But you have to pass this information forward. Share it forward.

 

There you go.

 

Pay it forward. Literally, pay it forward. And you see, what happens sometimes is we all fall for this. We all fall for making excuses, making reasons which we think and feel so.

 

Valid at the time.

 

I mean, I've fallen for this so many times, too. And then I catch myself because I, I find it's a little bit, maybe a self pity moment.

 

Oh, poor me, poor me.

 

I can't do it because of this, this and this.

 

Poor, poor Cluffy.

 

And then I have to kick myself up the ass and go, what are you doing? You know better than this. Let's look at it again. Where do you want to go?

 

Where are you now?

 

What do you know? what do you know about the subject now? What do you need to know to get where you want to go? What would you need to do?

 

And we're going to come to that.

 

Who do you know, Cluffy? Who do you know has done it before? What are your resources you could find? What time have I got available? Real time. And, as soon as I get into that mode, that self pity, poor clothy mode disappears.

 

Really does.

 

You're going to try it.

 

It really does. And the thing is, the wonderful reframe.

 

Of this is if you go.

 

So I don't know where to go.

 

I don't know where to start. Or if I was to ask you. Okay, so you don't know where to start. The answer to that is, good.

 

Good.

 

That's a jocko willink.

 

Good.

 

Because you get to do it one, for yourself to find out this, that is really empowering because it's bringing you back to. Cause you're going to create the effect, you're going to create the steps along the way. You're going to get this result, this success, and it's going to build confidence.

 

Competence, everything, because you're starting new.

 

It's like a beginner's mindset starting anew, but beginner's mindset with a lot of resources in your little toolbox in your.

 

Back, backpack, something like that.

 

But anyway, does anybody carry a toolbox on their back? Who knows? But it's clean. And you see, once you get this in your head, this is me, this is good. I get to do this. And I don't know the first step yet, and that's a big thing. Yet.

 

 

Ask yourself why is this particular thing I want to do

 

Why e yet there's a why there? Because that's when we start to ask about the why. But it's not, why can't I? It's why is this important to me? And again, you have to get your paper and pen, your puzzle book, anything you like, because as you ask this, they're great to put them on sticky.

 

Pads as well, but just write them down.

 

Just ask yourself, why is this particular thing I want to do?

 

And I don't know the steps for.

 

Why is it important to be able to do that? Why is it important to me, not to other people, by you. Because you say, oh, it make a difference to the company, it will make a difference to my family. No, why will it make. Why is it important to you?

 

Because at the end of the day, if it's not important to you, you're.

 

Not going to do it. So you need to ensure that it's compelling. You're curious, you're excited, because if it doesn't make you. And you don't have to be super excited, super compelling.

 

But, it has to be important.

 

To you because maybe at the moment you think, well, I'm not really a hundred percent sure why it's important to me, but these are the things I'm.

 

Getting right now, you know, what will.

 

It allow me to do? What will that important thing allow me to do? And you see, if it isn't compelling to you, if it isn't important, my advice to you is, don't do it.

 

What?

 

Don't do it? Yeah, don't do it. Don't waste your time, because probably, if it's not important to you, you'll take a few steps, you'll waste some time.

 

Doing it, and then you'll shelve it.

 

With the wonderful reasons, excuses why you did it. And it wasn't your fault. Well, it was your not a fault, but you chose, you chose to do something that wasn't of interest to you, wasn't important to you, wasn't compelling. Now, what would you say to your.

 

Best friend if they were saying, I.

 

Want to do this, and it's not really of interest to me. I don't think it's going to do me that good. It's not really important.

 

You would tell them, oh, sh, don't do it.

 

What else do you want? So then you'd ask yourself the question, so what's more important to me? What else is even more important? And then you get to start that one anew. Isn't that awesome? And again, rather, don't just do the.

 

One, why it's important to me.

 

Why is this important to me? Do three, four, five. Because the first one comes out generally, it's the one that you've been thinking about forever. And it's the, one probably you hadn't really thought about, but it's the thing you think it ought to be. But as you keep asking that question, why? Why else? Why else is this important to me? You'll get another reason. Not another reason. You'll get another result of the importance or the value. That's it. This is the value. You'll understand the value, because anything of importance to you is one of your values.

 

It'll be valuable to you. And anything that you value, then.

 

You'Re going to take steps to get.

 

It, to achieve it.

 

And it's when you get to about the third or the fourth or the fifth, you suddenly start realizing these are, unconscious answers. Say that again. Unconscious answers. Answers coming from your unconscious mind that was just out of reach from your conscious mind. But now you've opened it up because you've taken out the ones which are just there in your conscious mind. And in the way now you can get unconscious answers. And when you look at them and.

 

Go, hey, I didn't realize that.

 

Now that is important to me and that will allow me to do this and even that will attract that and this will do that and I'll grow and I'll do.

 

And all of a sudden you are.

 

Motivated and generally you're motivated to take the biggest bloody jump in the world. Oh, now I'm going to do this. Whoa, hang on.

 

Just wait a minute. Keep the feeling, if you want to.

 

You can anchor it, anchor that feeling of how motivated you are by just squeezing any one of your fingers and thumb together as you feel that feeling and squeeze it.

 

Oh, yeah.

 

Because that will remember any unique touch to your body. You might even go, yes, this is.

 

It for this particular one.

 

And then you have to go, well.

 

Okay, now the how.

 

Now the what?

 

 

Find the why of your value. Because the hows always come after you find the why

 

Because the hows always come after you find the why. The why of your value. Whats important to you because it will stimulate your neural pathways, your reticular activating system. Youll start to focus on this thing thats really important to you. So I don't want you to start thinking because this is the first thing we tend to do.

 

Ah, I know what the first step is.

 

I'm going to do this, this and that.

 

And sometimes we can, we can be.

 

Lucky, be lucky finding those steps.

 

But also, normally they're too big, they're.

 

Too large, a step too much to do in too short a time, and we get demoralized, we get overwhelmed, and again, we shelve it. And it's such a shame because we, we could have been on just the right thing for us. It's going to make just the, the difference because it's so important to us.

 

 

What is the final step that confirms you've achieved your goal

 

So before we start working on the, how, we want to know, well, what.

 

What are we going to achieve? What is that final thing that I want to have happened when I've achieved this goal? What would be that final step? The step that, says to me and confirms to me, m, I've got.

 

It, I've done it.

 

Now I know there'll be more steps after that because you'll get more goals, more places to focus on, more steps that you want to take to achieve other things. But just for this particular one, you think, well, if I was doing this.

 

That would prove to me that I've.

 

Got this goal, that I've achieved what I set out to achieve. And just make sure that it is the final step. Make sure that it is without doubt.

 

Proof that you're there.

 

Nothing else would have got in the way. It's got to be so specific. This is the one step that when.

 

I take it would mean, yay, I'm doing it. So think about that for a little while.

 

Make a picture of it in your mind. Notice what it feels like to take that final step. notice the feeling of taking that final step, achieving the thing you set out to achieve.

 

It's damn close to that feeling that you found out from your value that.

 

What'S important, what's so compelling, what's so motivating about this? You'll find that feeling, that emotion is.

 

So close, if not the same, might.

 

Be stronger, might be just a little bit behind. It doesn't matter because you're linked together now, the value and the final step, the achievement. Your unconscious mind understands where we're going.

 

Not only the direction we're going, but.

 

Where we want to go specifically. And as you see it in your mind's eye, so that, again, cluffy as you see it in your mind's eye, because this is important. As you see it in your mind's eye, you're visualizing it. You can step into that visualization, look through your own eyes, see what you'll see, hear what you'll hear and feel. Those feelings have taken that final step to know that you have arrived. And it's like having the goal now in the present. We always say, set the goal as if you've already achieved it, as if it's in the present.

 

Well, this is how I like to do it.

 

I like to imagine what that final step would be. What would it feel like? What would I see? What would I hear?

 

Who would the people be around me? What have I learned?

 

What if I think about the future? What more opportunities are available to me now? Now I'm taking this final step. And when you get that, you've got an immense feeling. You go into the kinesthetics of this and notice what it truly feels like to achieve this thing that you set out to achieve. And it was so important at the beginning, and it's now even more important.

 

You can anchor that feeling and put.

 

On the same anchor as well.

 

Double it, stack it.

 

I've got a, I'm sure somewhere, if I haven't, I'll get it out. There's an episode on how to Anchor. Just have a search for anchoring. And I, know, I'm sure, there may be one in the free hypnosis too. The free hypnosis and NLP processes. I do paulcluffonline.com forward slash podcast. Go there and you'll get an email from me and you'll get access, your own personal access to all those processes. And I'm sure if you go down there and I'm going to check this out, it's most unprofessional, of me, but I know it's there.

 

How to anchor. So there you go.

 

and if I haven't, I'm going to come back with another five minute quickie to show you where it is. But at the moment, you just do that and you see now you've got the feeling, the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

 

That's what we call it, the feeling.

 

Of the wish fulfilled. Now when you have that feeling and you know exactly this last step and you know because of that feeling, it is exactly, Yeah, it's exactly what you want. It might be even better than you wanted, but least, the very least, you know this is what you want. And you'll also know it's something if it was something you didn't want, because if you didn't want it, then, you.

 

Know, to change it again.

 

We haven't taken a step towards this yet, but we've been getting the steps together. So now, you know the final step, you know that feeling, you know, the wish fulfilled, the feeling of the wish fulfilled. And, you know, it's something that you, that is now really, really important. And your unconscious mind realizes this is really, really, really important to you. So your conscious mind now has set the goal. Your conscious mind is a goal setter.

 

 

The unconscious mind is a goal getter and now we're in place to find the steps

 

The unconscious mind is a goal getter, and now we're in place to find the steps. And I've even done this on, I think a two parter, longer podcast.

 

About goal getting, your goal setting and things like that.

 

So have a look for that as well, because this is part of it. But this is, this will get you there. So as you hold that big picture in mind, the big picture, which is that last step, the final feeling, and you go, what is the smallest step I could do today towards that goal? The smaller step. Because if you do the smaller step, you'll do the next smaller step, and the next one after that and the next one after that. If you take too big a jump.

 

You just get overwhelmed and you'll give.

 

Up, and I don't want you to do that. So think of the smaller step. And then when you find that smaller step, just ask yourself, is there a smaller one? And hold the feeling of the wish.

 

Fulfilled as you're thinking that. And then you can start to plan.

 

It out, create that, plan. Things you're going to do that day.

 

That week, maybe in a month, and at the end of the week, you'll.

 

Be able to review it. Am I on the right way?

 

The right trajectory? Trajectory in the right path.

 

That's a better way of putting it. Clavy. Am I on the right path? Am I still in line to get that goal? Because if you need to be flexible and change it, think about that.

 

 

Have awareness, awareness of where you are with every step

 

Five keys to success. That's also another, another, episode I've done, the five keys to success. Know your outcome. Take massive, intuitive, constant action. Notice. Have awareness, awareness of where you are with every step to making sure you're on the right path. And if you're not, and if an obstacle comes away that comes in front of you that you didn't foresee, have, flexibility. The fourth step, the flexibility to find other resources, to take different steps, different actions. And the fifth step is with the mindset and the physiology of excellence.

 

Put them all together, boom, and you're.

 

Off then making these lovely small steps that you, when you look back, those smaller steps will get bigger day by day. As you get more confident, you get more competent.

 

And as you look back and review.

 

On a weekly, monthly basis, you'll see how close you're getting to that final step. And each time you make, you make plans to do the next step, keeping that big picture in mind. That final step, what is the next smallest step? It's always smaller steps. And you'll be amazed that those smaller.

 

Steps will actually grow bigger because of.

 

Your competence, because of your confidence. And then once you start this, you're going to say, well, what else can I do? If I can do this, I can do anything. I've got a plan. I've got a process. And even if you did not know, you see, here's the thing.

 

You might do all of this, all of it, and you're going to then.

 

Say, I still don't know what the right step is.

 

And then you could say, okay, if.

 

You don't, you've done, if you've done all this work, to ask yourself those metamodel questions, get specific to understand the value, the importance. Then you've looked at the final outcome, that feeling of the wish fulfilled. You started to create a plan, but you're not quite sure the first step. You've got it so much inside you, you can make do any bloody step.

 

Do anything towards that goal.

 

Because if it doesn't matter, it really doesn't matter, because if you're reviewing your progress, you'll go, oh, actually, that's.

 

I've got to change this slightly.

 

But because you've got you and your unconscious mind on board, it will start.

 

 

Setting your intention every step of the way is key to success

 

To move a little story.

 

I am an options person. I love options. And sometimes options overwhelm me. And, when I was in, like, a previous life, working with my best mate at that time, Mike, we had this construction business, and he used to say, we've got this issue, Paul, do.

 

You want to have a little think about it?

 

And I'd go away and I'd do.

 

Option a, b, three, four, and e.

 

I couldn't think of what that one was. And I'd write them all down on a piece of paper, each one separately, and I'd get them all nice and.

 

Neat, and then I go, Mike, I.

 

Think I know the answer ish. I'll come and meet you and we'll have a quick chat about it. So we, we would restate the problem, notice where we want to go. And then he'd say, what have you come up with Cluffy and I'd show him all these. And he goes, well, I don't want to look at them.

 

I go, Mike, I just spent a.

 

Bloody day going through all of this, all these bloody options. And he said, which one do you think is right? Well, I said, I think probably three or c, whichever it is, I think that's the one. Because it allows for mitigation of the other bits and things like do it.

 

Then I said, well, say it doesn't work.

 

I said, well, more.

 

Change our, steps.

 

And it's exactly what I've been saying. But I was doing that with Mike, and Mike was doing it with me before I even knew this bloody stuff.

 

Isn't it great?

 

And we also, always, always got to the solution we wanted eventually, sometimes.

 

Really quickly, sometimes it took a little bit longer.

 

And I think, you know, I said, why? This is important because you're taking action. Action in your thoughts, action in your physical body. You're taking all the. You're thinking about it, you're doing it, you're creating a plan, you're scheduling, you're reviewing, you're going to get there, you're going to find so much success, and it's going to become a habit, it's going to become those neural pathways firing and wiring together that you'll remember this type of process and you'll start to do it more naturally. But you've always got this to come back to. You've always got those processes in the 65 free odd, NLP and hypnosis.

 

Stuff I give you, and I want.

 

To give it to you, by the way.

 

You can download them.

 

But the thing is, the real message, I guess, to this is all you have to do is trust. Trust in yourself to do the right thing. You will find the right step. Sometimes it's not the first time, but you will find the right step because you're setting your intention of where you want to go and why it's important to you. And that's like the intention, the final step, that visualization, that's the intention. Because you're telling your unconscious mind, this is what I expect, this is what I desire.

 

That's all.

 

That's setting your intention every step of the way, which is the most important, number one thing to do. And you're also getting rid of those bloody excuses. And then you'll start to catch yourself and you start to say, whoa, you'll go like me. Hang on, Cloughy. That's B's. Let's kick that out.

 

Let's start again.

 

And if you want to, just as a little reminder, you can sometimes go back to your old past successes and.

 

Go, yeah, that's what we did.

 

That's a resource. So I've got some learnings from that may not be quite the right, same.

 

Thing to do, but you're coming from.

 

A place of success, resources, even if you go, well, I knew that didn't work because there's no failures, any feedback. I remember when I, think about doing that, it didn't work last time, so will it really work this time? Can I mitigate it? Because I think it's sort of the right thing to do.

 

So many things you could do.

 

Now, if you want more help with this, so if you've got a project or something, you desire, a dream, a goal, and you go, well, I get it, cluffy, but I still need.

 

A bit of help because maybe, maybe.

 

Maybe, maybe you're getting this emotion, slight negative emotion of doubt maybe, or of I don't deserve this, or I'm not good enough, or they'll find me out. My imposter syndrome suddenly bursts out.

 

Let me know because I can then.

 

Link that context to that limiting belief or negative emotion, and we'll come up with a process for it, a longer podcast.

 

It'll be awesome.

 

So please do let me know. It's feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplug.com.

 

That's email address do that only comes to me.

 

I'm the only bugger here. And I will reply to you personally and we'll get it on.

 

and if we do do a.

 

Longer episode, as we've done with other readers requests, readers requests, listeners requests, it's.

 

All anonymous, no names, no pact rule.

 

If that sort of thing. But anyway, no names, anonymous, truly anonymous, and we'll have a great time doing it, and you'll get a result, and.

 

Other people will learn as well.

 

And if you have got it, or you think you've got this process, explain it to somebody else. It's a great way of sharing what you know.

 

But also when you share it audibly.

 

Verbally, you find if there's any gaps in there, say you write, the other way to do it is write it out again as if you were explaining to somebody without those notes. Can you explain the process? And if there's any gaps, you go.

 

Ah, okay, I know 90% of it.

 

What's that 10% I just need. And that's a great way to really reinforce those, the memory, the synaptic gaps, all that stuff. You will get much better, deeper, long term memory of that. And the process will start to become.

 

A habit the more you do it.

 

Awesome. So remember, if you ever ask yourself.

 

Why me or why not? Or why I can't, you owe me two sharings of the podcast to your best friends. Okay.

 

 

Every little thing you do is like an aim in mind

 

Until the next time, my friend. I hope this has made perfect sense. I hope you're going to just dive in and do it. Feel motivated to find out that why the real. Why the real value of doing the things that you do. Because this can apply to every bloody thing. It doesn't have to be the biggest thing in the world. Every little thing you do is like an aim in mind.

 

So it's a goal, something that you desire.

 

And once you get good at this, you'll just start to do it. You'll look back and go, oh, I did that without even thinking becomes an unconscious habit.

 

That's what habits are.

 

Okay. Have more fun than you can stand. Share the hell out of this.

 

Press that subscribe button and get in touch with me. Share your feedback with me. I'd love it.

 

So have more fun than you stand. My voice is done to go, so go fly, my friend. And if you want to know a little bit more about the podcast, if you're new here, I stick an explanation at the end.

 

Don't waste time at the beginning.

 

Okay?

 

So have fun, and, I'll see you and speak with you next time.

 

 

This is the personal development unplugged podcast where we use hypnosis

 

Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.

 

Personal development unplugged.

 

Hey, this is the personal development unplugged podcast where we use hypnosis. Yeah, hypnosis, NLP, neuro linguistic programming. Don't worry what it is. It's just a mass of processes that we're going to get you to change. Change to let go of anxiety, low self esteem, and create massive, massive, supreme inner confidence. But that's confidence in your competence, and competence in your confidence, which means you can do anything and be well, be safe to enjoy, enjoy the world as it should be with you at, the helm, creating the life that you want. Thats what this podcast is about. You and being the best you, you could be singing from your real voice, aligned with your mission, aligned with your passions. Thats what its about. So if youre interested in letting go of anxiety, if youre interested in letting go of fear, guilt, all those blooming syndromes, imposter syndromes, and every little bit of the mind, which is negative. Then have a listen here. Because we've got some wonderful processes and lots of good conversations with between you and me to get us both thinking in such wonderful ways. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Just take the trance to have a. Have a listen.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Hypnosis - What It's Really Like Let's take away any fear you might have

If you ask 1000 hypnotists what is hypnosis you will probably get a 1000 different answers - And as a client why would you care?

Yet I get clients who come to me with deep emotional problems, and some not deep, wanting help but are afraid, scared of what hypnosis feels like. Will be out of control? Will I remember any of it? Will you click your fingers and I'll be out of it- unconscious?

Valid as those questions are, the facts of what hypnosis or some say trance is so different and is quite the contrary.

Come listen and find out for yourself how I explain this to my clients

Then please share with anyone who has those misconceptions

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-438-hypnosis-what-its-really-like

And now the link if you want to see this in video form too  https://youtu.be/3R3GkdbOH4U

Shine brightly

Paul

Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected]

If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review

Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com

If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast

Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie

I’m a therapist but not your therapist

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox

I'm also in iHeart radio

YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com

tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

The Direct Debit Of Investing In You And Your Success What a mouthful and seems very technical It's a metaphor   :O)

In the financial world, people talk about capital and compound interest

In the networking world, people talk about social capital

And it got me thinking 'What about our world, the world of our personal development?' -you and me.

How can we use the principles of financial investing and networking that work on ourselves? Digging the well before you are thirsty (that's not my phrase by the way I've borrowed it.

And I have got some 'How too's' in this episode that I think make sense, are simple (we like simple) and if you do them they will increase your success and confidence compoundly (if that's a word- it is now).

So come with me on this not too longa dive and let's learn ways to make our lives better.

Please share all that you learn so you learn even more deeply

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/384-the-direct-debit-of-investing-in-you-and-your-success

Shine brightly

Paul

Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected]

If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review

Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com

If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast

Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie

I’m a therapist but not your therapist

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox

I'm also in iHeart radio

YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com

tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

 

 

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

This is personal development unplugged with Paul Clough

 

You.

 

Hey, your heads up for the direct debit of your success. I've gone into the financial world and found within the financial world and its setup there are things that we can learn. I've gone to the connection world networking world and found there's something we can use there and put them both together for our own better selves, our own personal development. Have a listen. I hope it makes sense.

 

This is personal development unplugged, with Paul Clough.

I want to talk to you about investments. Can you believe that? Investments. Hey friend, how we doing today

 

In simplicity there is genius.

 

In simplicity there is genius.

 

Hey friend, how we doing today? And I want to talk to you about investments. Can you believe that? Investments. And no, it's not an advert.

 

You see, it's all about capital. Investing your capital, creating your capital.

 

And we all know, don't we?

 

We all know that if you invest the right way, you get things like.

 

Compound interest, don't you? It's interest on interest and interest on interest on interest.

 

And I think a lot of people.

 

Get a bit confused by that. And no, I'm not going to explain it because I get confused by it too. I just know it works.

 

But I was listening to other people.

 

 

Social capital is giving service, selfless

 

Talk about it, about this, you see, because there was a term and I think it's still used, called social capital and what social capital, because it was a buzword and maybe it still is, I don't know.

 

But social capital was I guess brought.

 

In around the term networking. Networking in business, especially for entrepreneurs.

 

But that's BS anyway, because the social capital of an individual didn't matter whether.

 

You'Re an entrepreneur, if you're working.

 

Just by yourself, or whether you're just.

 

Working with other people.

 

As an employee, you all required social capital. We all do.

 

And what is social capital?

 

Well, it's your contacts, your contacts in your career.

 

This is where it came from, the networking. But obviously there's social contacts as well. And I remember the very, my early days of touching this networking. And it used to be like 1 minute networking, five minute networking.

 

And it used to just be like hot tables.

 

You go in there, hand a card over to somebody you did not want to do or give work to other people, you really just wanted work for yourself.

 

It was so self centered, really was.

 

There was no social capital at all.

 

In that.

 

It was win, not win win. You had to win at all costs, you had to get one up on everything. And that really didn't work because everybody knew it. And you used to get all those cards and used to put them in.

 

The bin, you really did.

 

Apart from the OD, one that you thought a guy was nice. And that's where the social capital comes from, because you made contacts. And then it changed. And it's changed. Well, it's changed for some. And I know the people who make it work.

 

The social capital is giving service, selfless.

 

Service for others, to create a network of friends. Not necessarily friends, but business friends, business colleagues, people who you could help. And, maybe one day, one day.

 

They could help you.

 

But that isn't the reason. The reason is just to get this social network. So you just get to, in times of crisis, I guess that's the real reason for it. You can call upon people just to reciprocate the help that you gave them. So there is a little bit of reciprocation there, I guess. But there is so much more giving than receiving. And it just works. Because what happens is people give back without you asking for the things. Because they feel good about it too. They want to, reciprocate. They want to do things selflessly. And therefore it's called digging the well before you're thirsty. Dig the well before you need it.

 

The law of reciprocity.

 

 

Capital and compound interest and social capital all apply to personal development

 

And you see, you've got all of that, and you're probably thinking now, you are probably thinking, and quite rightly so, where's he going with this?

 

What's Cloughie doing now?

 

And what the hell's this got to.

 

Do with personal development? Self improvement and,

 

Being better today than yesterday? All that stuff he's talked about. Where is he going? And that's exactly what I thought. No, sort of. Because I, listening to all this thing.

 

About capital and compound interest and also social capital, I thought to myself, this.

 

Really does apply to our personal development.

 

To being better today than yesterday. Because it got me thinking, how could we direct these thoughts of capital, compound.

 

Interest with capital that creates in a, compound interest in us, in our personal development? How could it be directed to creating a better me? How could it be directed to me.

 

Being a better me?

 

And, when I say me also.

 

Mean you, because you're my mate.

 

So us, how could this thing about social capital and, if we.

 

Could model it, what well would we need to dig to invest in us?

 

Because that's what it is, isn't it? We all said it's investment. Investment in a career, maybe.

 

Contacts, connections, compound interest. How could we dig a well that actually created something better in us? Good metaphor, I thought, because it's all about investing in who? Absolutely. Ourselves. But then I thought about it.

 

It's not investing in ourselves, in big dollops. I love the word dollop today. Not in big dollops, but in small deposits. I don't know which one sounds better after when you talk about that, but investing in small deposits that add up over time. So I suppose you could call them regular small dollops.

 

And I thought, well, how could we invested ourselves over time in regular small dollops that would then create a capital in us and create compound interest, create a network of learning, maybe. Oh, see, I thought learning small investments every day with obviously an intention, got to have a.

 

Why?

 

Why is it important to you to learn? It's no point in just saying, oh, I just want to, learn something because I know people, and I know you do, and I've talked about it before, who know a bit about everything.

 

They know stuff that will never, ever be used. But I do think sometimes, on the.

 

Flip side of that, it's good to learn lots of different things as well, to keep your interest going, to keep that muscle going, because like this, if.

 

I wasn't thinking about capital, compound interest.

 

And this social capital, I wouldn't have.

 

Got this into my head about investing.

 

In ourselves and creating a capital in ourselves. But actually, just sitting down and maybe reading for ten minutes a day could be something difficult. Because if you. If you read something a little bit more difficult than you can normally handle, your brain starts to work, your unconscious mind really starts to get into gear, and that muscle works. And then when you start to learn other stuff, the stuff that you're really interested in, boom.

 

Yeah, compound interest.

 

The thing is not too much, I.

 

Don'T want these big dollops, because if.

 

You start really pushing the boundaries of.

 

Everything, we can get into overwhelm. And the thing about it is, I.

 

Said, you can learn. I know people who know a lot about everything, but do absolutely soddle. I know other people who know very, I can say, know very little, but.

 

Their scope is quite small, but they know it inside out and they use it.

 

That's the one I prefer. But then building on that inside out.

 

Knowing what you know, doing what you do, and, building that knowledge, becoming the mastery or the master of what you know.

 

So you set, a schedule, as it were.

 

I'm just going to read something for.

 

Ten minutes a day. On one day, it'll be something maybe.

 

A little bit different, but you'll see similarities in it.

 

And another day I'm going to read.

 

Something on the thing that's going to.

 

Really develop me a way of learning, a way of doing something, maybe reading, if you're like a therapist, you'd maybe dive into a different process, understand something. And I think the more you do.

 

That.

 

It'S like compound interest, you will.

 

Suddenly find that you know so much more and you can do so much more.

 

So that compound interest is really starting to begin without you knowing it. And isn't that the thing about, like, investing in small dollops? You don't really notice it at the time, so it's not really hitting if it's. If it was money hitting your pocket that much. But when you look back and you go, crikey, where did all that come from? Because I heard a story, I don't.

 

Know the story about this family that.

 

Didn'T have much money.

 

And when they got to the end of the week, they had only, a little bit of money left.

 

Not enough money to buy more food, drink, things like that. So what they would do is they'd go out and buy a lottery ticket with the hope, and I love hope, hope of winning some money.

 

Don't know whether they ever did, really.

 

But I thought, what would happen if they just invested in themselves, as it were, by just putting that small amount.

 

Of money to one side, even if.

 

They didn't put it into a bank or anything.

 

Maybe four weeks later, they've got a whole day's meal. And I just don't know why that struck me, because it was more about thinking, well, small bits add up over time.

 

They do, don't they?

 

 

Start small, small dollops and it's regular, you start to build

 

I mean, you try learning something which is really big in a big dollop, you get overwhelmed.

 

But if you start small, small dollops, and it's regular, you start to build.

 

And then you can take on more. So that small dollop, say, a month.

 

Ago, is completely different to the small.

 

Dollop you're doing now. The small dollop you're doing now is.

 

Probably twice as big as when you first started, and it's going to make a difference. See, that's like the compound interest, isn't it? So the 1% you're creating a better you by than the day before, that.

 

1% is of such a bigger thing, bigger baseline.

 

And, that's all maths.

 

But maths can be good.

 

But I think it all comes down to the intention you have of creating capital in yourself. I think it's really important that we.

 

Do that, because we also get.

 

I think the more we do it, and we do it in this nice, evolving way, we also get to enjoy it.

 

We enjoy that.

 

It's not so much of a struggle that it's too hard. But it's a little bit of a.

 

Struggle because it's a little bit different.

 

But when we look back, we go.

 

Wow, I enjoyed that. And now look at me now. Now look at m me now look at me now.

 

Oh, by the way, here's one thought. I did have this dig in.

 

The well. Thing is, it'll never really be dug, will it?

 

Because you can always dig a little deeper into something. You can always find a little bit more. And, isn't that exciting? Always something new to learn.

 

And then when you learn it, creating even more capital is you get to share it. And when you share it, we,

 

Said you have something, you share it with somebody else, but it's in your mind, it's what you've learned.

 

You still have it now they have it.

 

So you're helping other people, they will help you. But the thing is, it's not just sharing.

 

You get to know that you know it.

 

You also get to know, if you.

 

Don'T know it, where you need to invest a bit more.

 

And because you're doing it for no want of return, you just want to.

 

Share what you know, provided obviously people want to listen.

 

But as you share it, because you can also share it, by the way, that you just hold yourself by example.

 

You don't have to tell everybody. You can be the example of what you've learned, and it'll make a difference then.

 

So you're making a difference to yourself.

 

By really honing in your skills, making.

 

A difference to others, because you're making.

 

What you've learned available to them, too. And as they take it, on.

 

You'Re making a difference because you'll never know how far the ripples of this change will go.

 

The sharing will go.

 

I never know how far it goes, but I just know it goes really far and wide.

 

It's like that flapping of a butterfly.

 

On one side of the world, creating a storm of wonder on the other side. And the thing is, I thought about this. it's a weird thing.

 

You know, we talk about, do we direct debits?

 

I don't know what you call them in, the US, we have them, and if we want to pay a regular installment to somebody, we create a direct debit.

 

And every month that money goes out.

 

Of your account and into theirs, you're investing into that.

 

Well, what about habits?

 

Making a direct debit into your own habits. Again, it's that same thing of scheduling, isn't it?

 

One at a time. So there's no overwhelm. No overwhelm will ever sneak in.

 

When you are consistent, and that's what the direct debit is.

 

It's a consistent of paying in.

 

And when you're consistent, you are creating.

 

Good habits in yourself.

 

And therefore, those dollops don't seem to be, well, they're not something you would put, oh, no, I've got to do this. You go, no, I want to do this because something's going to happen.

 

Something's going to be really good. And the real win of this, I.

 

Think, is you are ultimately taking responsibility.

 

For you, it's our responsibility to be responsible for ourselves. No excuses, then no complaints.

 

You are at cause because you get to say those words, I get to do this. I'm responsible for my change.

 

Because you're responsible for your change.

 

I'm responsible for my change.

 

And you can say the same thing. And then with a little help, say, from the hypnosis tracks, we've got.

 

Maybe some past episodes just to spark things in, because sometimes, yeah, we go off track a little bit, and we might want that hypnotrack to bring us back into line. Maybe just set a nice goal, maybe to see things from different perspective, maybe to get creative, maybe to be able to anchor things, set our intentions.

 

They're all there, by the way.

 

There's 65 hypnosis tracks.

 

 

Paul Clough: Investing in yourself is often overlooked

 

I've [email protected] podcast, and they're all free, so you can just go down there, guys. I was feeling a little bit, oh, there's 120 minutes.

 

Boom, that's your investment for the day. And then we look back, we do our review.

 

It's like scheduling a review, and it's.

 

Like, really, when you think about investing.

 

everyone has a. Most people, anyway, have an annual financial review. See how my money has performed. And you look back and say, see.

 

How I have performed?

 

Where can I improve?

 

What have I learned?

 

And I can even do more of.

 

Maybe there's a couple of things that.

 

I really want to get a little bit better at. I didn't realize, realize I could do all of this. Now.

 

This is my interests.

 

And it all comes down to one.

 

Blindingly obvious and usually overlooked investing in yourself.

 

Because no other person will ever do it for you.

 

No one.

 

And if we just keep making a.

 

Small change, every small change will add.

 

Up to massive results.

 

And I want you to feel that.

 

You know, you can do this. You want to do this. Because I don't know what this part is, other than creating and living the.

 

Life that you really want. And it's so friggin easy. It's also so friggin easy to forget.

 

And this is why this is a reminder for me.

 

Reminder for you, I think, because you.

 

Know, you know this, but sometimes we just need a little reminder.

 

Little tap on the head. Just oyoi.

 

Remember this.

 

It's only small, but it's not insignificantly small.

 

It's significantly significant.

 

Remember, regular small dollops.

 

Enjoy. I hope you enjoyed that. It was something which is completely different to the normal personal, development stuff we do here. But I just thought it makes a lot of sense, taking something from somewhere else and putting into ourselves and noticing we can learn from all different aspects, which is why, when I say learning, learn from different areas of life, you'll.

 

Find a similarity somewhere.

 

Something you can model, something you can use.

 

So there you, go. Don't get thirsty. Have fun.

 

And please do share this.

 

Because as you said, as I said before, as you share, you will grow. It's an investment in yourself just to.

 

Share what you know and do what you know and know what you do.

 

Become the master of being.

 

You have. Have more fun than you can stand.

 

Okay. Bye bye. You are now leaving the uncloved mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.

 

Personal development unplugged.

Making Success Simply Achievable

The way we speak, and the words we use can change the way we feel.

Now I know that's completely left field and never been said before  NOT

Yet in this 5-minute quickie episode, I want to share one word that when used changes everything

Change everything on the outside and even more importantly on the inside.

Please share

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-437-making-success-simply-achievable

Oh! there's a video to this too  https://youtu.be/f_ef_kTnUK8

Shine brightly

Paul

Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected]

If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review

Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com

If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast

Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie

I’m a therapist but not your therapist

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox

I'm also in iHeart radio

YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com

tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay,  Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

 

How Do I Compare To Others And why is it so BS when I do (it wrong)?

Another listers question having trouble with this - comparing ourselves to others and feeling bad.

And an apology there are a couple of swear words in this episode - sorry they just slipped out and I do think keeping them in is appropriate and deliberately a little shocking

I think we all have issues with comparing to others and I want to share my personal experiences, yup plural, and what happened.

The thing is we only see the outside of people, their showreels, and I know you and I never get to compare against how they really are. and if we did it might be a different result to our emotions.

I will take you on an audio adventure of who to compare to and use that comparison to make your life better every day, week, month, and year.

I'll also share how to compare to others that work too. Oh, am I a sharer.   :O)

Talking of sharing here's a link to share this episode with others if they haven't a podcast app

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/383-how-do-i-compare-to-others/

I hope you enjoy and if I have shared something you didn't know that's GREAT! If you know all this 'stuff' hopefully I have encourage you to use what you know a little bit more.

Shine brightly

Paul

Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected]

If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review

Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com

If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast

Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie

I’m a therapist but not your therapist

The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox

I'm also in iHeart radio

YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com

tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, my friend, how do I compare to others?

 

What's this all about? Well, it's a question that was raised by one of you about comparing to others and feeling bad. And, that is so bs. And I want to show you how, why and what to do about it and to feel the joy and love in the world. And, I know feeling joy and love in the world is so important to everyone to have a listen after these next 15 or so seconds.

 

Warning, warning. Warning. Warning. You are entering into the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. Clough. Too late. Personal development unplugged.

 

So you're back for a bit more. Hey, pleased to have you with me.

 

And I compare thee to a summer's night, summer's dream. I don't know what that was, but.

 

 

It's all about comparing ourselves to others. Isn't that what we do

 

Since I put the shortest newsletter out I could the other week, I got a question from one of the listeners. One of the, one of our listeners, one of you, one of the three of you out there asked another question.

 

And it's all about comparing ourselves, to others. And guess what?

 

Feeling bad.

 

Isn't that what we do?

 

Isn't that what we do? So I want to tell you a couple of stories.

 

 

First, about comparing. I attended trainings in NLP when I was a practitioner

 

First, about comparing.

 

About comparing. Now, I might warn you now, I might swear a little bit in this. Maybe not.

 

Maybe I'll be so articulate that I won't swear. But who knows?

 

We'll see.

 

Anyway, back in the days of my trainings in NLP, not the ones I did or I gave, but the ones.

 

I attended when I was a practitioner.

 

Or learning to be a practitioner and learning to be a master practitioner.

 

And you see, at the end of.

 

One room, of the room we were.

 

Doing the training in, there was a table. And it was the table I loved.

 

The most because it was the book table. And, when you're into hypnosis and.

 

NLP, as much as I was, you.

 

Just wanted to read and take in everything you could, especially the yellow books. I don't know why yellow books, but yellow books always seemed to be more attractive to me. And they just did.

 

They just did. And I bought a book every month.

 

Every month. But then I'd talk to a few people and they go, oh, I've read that. Oh, it's a really great book. Yeah, I've read that too.

 

Oh, I know all about that one.

 

I know that one and I know that one. And they would come out with all these, and that's the one side of NLP I'm not 100% with sometimes is the bloody wording. Sometimes the wording is a bit complicated, sometimes I think it's a little bit.

 

Up our ass, but I know what.

 

It's trying to do.

 

But, hey, but they were using words.

 

That just didn't make sense. And I used to sit there thinking, they know so much. Compared to me, I know nothing. They know so much.

 

I'm going to tell you what happened to them in a minute, but not yet.

 

You see, also in those trainings, and not just those trainings, even my hypnosis training, the trainings, I've gone to see other people watching demos and, a demo is. We're going to show you a process. We'll talk through a process. Now, has anybody got this type of problem?

 

Come up on the stage and we'll.

 

Get rid of it by using this process and we'll demonstrate the process. And, then you're all going to go away as practitioners and go and practice that as an exercise. And I used to watch those demos with the biggest eyes and a mouth dropped open, watching the skill of that trainer. And it was every trainer they just.

 

Seemed to master being able to find a root cause, be able to, I.

 

Don'T know, it was like, steer their way through.

 

It was if that process just homed in. And I used to think, compared to me, I, don't know if I'm.

 

M even going to be able to do the process.

 

I would never, never, ever in a.

 

Million, million bloody years be able to do that.

 

I never would. And, also in my clinic have.

 

These lovely clients come in, lovely people.

 

And some of them, when you look.

 

At them and you see them drive up in their bloody great big cars.

 

Huge cars, lovely cars, and you just.

 

Know they're in brackets, whatever that bracket is, successful. They look like they have it all. And I'm thinking other, bloody hell, you.

 

Come in here, you've got it all. But I knew that.

 

I know that's just silly self talk.

 

Because yet inside they were racked with.

 

All sorts of emotions, trauma, maybe they.

 

Were suffering from emotions, but from a deep grief, guilt and the anxiety and the fears that came from that, the effects were there, but it was like as if they didn't show it on the outside, they didn't show it.

 

 

Paul says he often compares himself to famous people on social media

 

See, another thing, another thing. You might believe this or you might.

 

Not, but I've got some friends.

 

I got a couple of friends.

 

And yes, I do. I'm not fibbing, I'm not bragging, I'm not bragging, I'm not bigging myself up because I've got a couple of friends.

 

But I've got a couple of friends.

 

And on the outside they seem so confident. They always seem bloody happy. They're laughing and they're joking, and they always seem to be flittering around and just having a great time with lots of different people. Always having a, having a joke, always.

 

Having a bit of a laugh.

 

They look absolutely as if they're killing.

 

It in a good way. But when we talk by ourselves, one to one, they admit to being anxious.

 

About things, anxious about their business. They're scared of, things that are happening in their life. They're worried.

 

Isn't that strange? Yet I compare them myself to them.

 

They tell such wonderful stories. They're always alive and soul of the party. And there's me old, little old introvert in that corner. Yes, they're my friends, but I'm the little one in the corner. And I'm big boy little one in the corner. I'm not big. I'm,

 

Tall.

 

Not big big, but tall, tall, tall.

 

Paul. And I compare.

 

I wish.

 

But then when I do hear them.

 

Talk about their anxieties, their fears, what they're scared about, m kept that hidden.

 

And there's a lot of funny people. I don't mean funny, weird funny.

 

I would keep making myself laugh this morning, and it is this morning. And I don't know why I said that either. But there's a lot of comedians, people who make people laugh for a living.

 

You hear about them being so depressed.

 

So depressed when they close the doors.

 

And become alone and you compare yourself.

 

To them, you think they're having a lovely, they're having such a great life, always seeing them laughing, joking, being interviewed.

 

Yeah, I wish I could be like that.

 

You think?

 

But then it's only when they open.

 

Up do you notice that they're really depressed.

 

even famous people who, you think are smashing it out the park, living the life.

 

Well, some people think they're living the.

 

Life, but they've lost all their friends because of the fame. They're not allowed to do anything.

 

But when you see them, they're strutting around.

 

And yet some of them commit suicide.

 

And even their closest friends would never guess.

 

Well, cloughy, I think we're going on the dark side. We don't want to go the dark side, you see?

 

Where are we bloody going?

 

Where the nearly saw.

 

Where are we going? Because the thing is, each one of.

 

Those little stories, and, they're all true, aren't they. It's not about comparing with others, because you can't.

 

How can you compare with others when.

 

You don't know what the inside is?

 

You don't know what's going through their heads. You don't know they're experiencing or what they're experiencing and how they're feeling it.

 

And what they've lost and what they're going through.

 

You're seeing their bloody show reels. We talk about, know, on Facebook and all that other social media toss, people showing their show reels.

 

And some even, well, they are made up.

 

I even knew of one guy who, when he went on holiday, just to show everybody the weather was so, so wonderful, he'd get someone to take his photograph with. He'd take, he's there in his little.

 

T shirt, smiling like anything. He actually told me, as soon as.

 

That photograph's taken, I have to put.

 

A jumper and me coat on because.

 

It'S so bloody cold. It's just sunny.

 

It was so cold.

 

But I just wanted to show people. And you think, wow, that's deception.

 

And it is.

 

It's just people having show reels, how.

 

Wonderful their bloody life is. And you see it everywhere, don't you? And then we compare against it. And what the fuck are you doing doing that for? Said I might swear, and it just came out.

 

So what or who should we compare to? Have a think about that, just for a second or two. Who or what should we compare to?

 

Have a guess. I'll tell you.

 

I'm going to swear now.

 

It's fucking you.

 

 

When we're planning our week ahead, look back at what happened in the week before

 

That's the only person we can compare against. We have right now. The most brilliant opportunity to learn and keep being the best us, there is in this world. The unique you, the unique me.

 

There is never a better opportunity for.

 

You right now to learn to be and keep being the best you.

 

And why is it the best opportunity? Because you're bloody here. You're breathing, you're above ground.

 

Who knows that thing.

 

You wake up in the morning, another day above ground, it's going to be brilliant. And all you have to do is.

 

Compare yourself with yourself.

 

Review yourself with who you were yesterday.

 

Maybe last week, maybe go back a.

 

Month, maybe the whole year. and I suggest you do each one of those. You should be looking back at yesterday and going, can I be a little bit better today? Should, at the end of the week, should we should all over ourselves.

 

But we could, at the beginning of.

 

A week, look back at the. When we're planning our week ahead, look back at what happened in the week before? And how can we make this next week even better? Look back at the whole month.

 

What did we achieve?

 

How far have we've come? And how can we make that even better? How come we can just grow just.

 

That little bit more and grow, I mean grow with joy, not just slogging.

 

Away at learning now grow to be the best version of ourselves.

 

You know that then maybe at.

 

One time you might look over the.

 

Whole year, what goals did I have a year ago? And they'll change month by month, won't they?

 

Because every year, a month by month is another year in a month ahead. What goals did I have a year ago? What have I achieved? What have I done? What have I met? What do I still want to do? How can I make it better for.

 

The whole next twelve months after that?

 

And then you can be start thinking, what can I learn from all of.

 

That to be better, happier, happier with.

 

More joy and love? And I'm getting soppy there.

 

Giving love is the only pure, pure emotion.

 

The number one emotion, love.

 

There is no other really emotion.

 

They're all derivatives from love.

 

That's what I believe, apart from the shit stuff. And we can be a little bit soppy because I don't know about you, I'd like and love a life a.

 

Daily, every day would be filled with joy and love. Yeah, maybe it's not always going to be that way, but if I can strive to do that, it'll be better.

 

Than it could have been, should have been, because I've made it better.

 

And you might even want to think, well, if I'm comparing myself in the past, how about comparing myself in the bloody future? How do I want to be? I know I want that joy.

 

I know I want that love.

 

But what can I do tomorrow?

 

So I'm a little bit today, so I'll make tomorrow a little bit more.

 

Of a stride, test, a stretch so I can strive to be better. That happened today. And I'm going to strive to be better than yesterday.

 

What about next week? How do I want to be next week?

 

How do I want to be next month?

 

How do I want to be next year?

 

Because, they're like your goals for.

 

The future, aren't they?

 

And it's how do you want to feel and what are the emotions you want to generate and feel and give and receive? It's just go on emotions to start off with. Because if you can live your life really feeling the emotions that you really.

 

Want and get them better and more.

 

Intense each day, each week, each month, each year. The things you'll be doing will be absolutely fucking awesome.

 

They will.

 

I do apologize by the swearing, but it's just me.

 

So instead of comparing against all that other toss, this is where you compare.

 

 

Take time out to review this. Literally, with wonderful intention

 

This is where you grow.

 

This is where you feel good and.

 

Take time out to review this. Literally, with wonderful intention. Take your ten minutes out and say stuff.

 

Everybody.

 

For me, this is my ten minutes. I just want to review and see how good I bloody am and how good I can be.

 

Even better or better. I could be even gooder or whatever it is. And then start to visualize feeling that way.

 

Maybe there are one or two things you're going to be doing behavior wise.

 

That will make you feel that way.

 

If you did it just the way.

 

You want, if the outcome was just the way you wanted it, or even.

 

Better than you wanted it. Because you're really not that intelligent enough. And nor am I, by the way, to really imagine how much we can have, because you need to let yourself go, like with the imagination of. With childlike qualities.

 

Imagine you could have anything.

 

How would that feel?

 

Because it's that feeling.

 

And, the thing is, you see, when it comes down to it, there's only one bloody person who can be you.

 

You. All those other people, they're not you.

 

So why are you comparing them with.

 

You think that's another one, isn't it? That's a little bit of a reframe.

 

Why are you comparing with others who are not you? Because you don't know what's going inside their head. You don't know their experiences.

 

You don't know what's happening. Now. Instead of comparing though, those show reels can be motivating, can't they?

 

Because I guess in some ways you're seeing those people at, their very, very, very best. Forget all the shit that was in the background.

 

They appear to be having a great time doing what they love.

 

And we can model the good bits.

 

Of that, but not the way they.

 

Do it, but get that to influence and inspire you to put it into your visualization.

 

So see yourself doing things similar and noticing as you do.

 

Just the old thing we've been doing here so many times in every. Not every episode, but most episodes. Seeing yourself out. I say that again and slow down, cloughy.

 

See yourself over there doing the things.

 

You want to do, experiencing the things.

 

You want to be and have and feel.

 

And then add those little skills that you've seen in other people's show reels. Maybe it's that smile.

 

Maybe it's that welcoming just being body language.

 

Maybe, just those little bits that you could add to the way you behave will make.

 

And then you'll get that feeling.

 

Now, the one thing about this, and.

 

I know you're going to say, oh.

 

No, cluffy, please don't say, write it down. Yes. Because you see, if you just think about this stuff, thinking is good, doing is better.

 

because you can think about that forever.

 

But if you don't do it, then it's waste of time. And I want to do a longer.

 

Podcast on that bit. And I don't like butts either.

 

You need to be able to put this down into some form of writing so you can remember it. Even if it's not fully fledged sentences. It's not a book, it's not chapters, it's that. But just get like, I call it a puzzle book. Things that you're going to work through. So you might just notice one or two skills that you like, just throw.

 

Them down on a piece of paper.

 

Because then you can go back to it. So when you're imagining and envisualizing yourself in the future, being able to have those experiences, you can look at that puzzle book and go, ah, add in those couple. You might call it a dream book. I actually had a load of dream books printed of something I, I created, myself.

 

And it just seemed to work a little bit. Maybe you call them idea books, basically.

 

Puzzles, dreams, ideas, goals, thinking books, whatever you want.

 

Get a bloody book.

 

And a book could be a piece of paper, by the way, just a book sometimes is nice to hold. Nice colored pens.

 

I have a thing about colored pens.

 

But the thing is, you write all those things down, that's pretty awesome.

 

But there's one more thing to do.

 

Do the bloody work. We've talked about that on an FMQ. The only mind hack is to do the work. So when you start visualizing and you start seeing the things you want to pull into your life or how you want to feel, because you can think of how I want to feel, but.

 

You might forget about it.

 

Write it down in that puzzle book, that dream book, that idea book, and.

 

Then do the work by visualizing it and then setting a target, a goal to go do it.

 

And you'll be amazed when you look back over yesterday.

 

Go, shit, that was good.

 

Look back over the week.

 

Wow, I had some good times in there.

 

That's a little bit.

 

 

I was learning processes before I became a practitioner of NLP

 

I tripped up, but I got up and cracked it and smashed it. Look back over the month things are happening. God, this year, next year, I can keep doing this. You'll be amazed, absolutely amazed, because you remember those NLP guys who knew everything.

 

They knew absolutely everything on that book.

 

They knew everything in the manual. They knew absolutely everything. In fact, they'd been doing it for bloody years. And when I compared themselves to me at that time, I thought, well, I don't know hardly anything.

 

But then I found out when I.

 

Asked some things, I asked some questions, because I was working with clients, I still wasn't a practitioner yet. I've been doing my hypnosis and hypnotherapy, but I hadn't been a practitioner of NLP, so I didn't know all the processes, but I was learning them before I actually got taught them, if that makes sense. I was reading books and, learning the processes and modeling them before I even got to become a practitioner. And I was doing it with clients, see, doing it with clients, not doing it on clients, doing it with clients. And I would ask them questions, I've got a little bit of an issue, I'm not quite so sure. And they said, well, no, we don't work with clients.

 

Oh, no, I can't do that.

 

They couldn't bloody do the work. They couldn't do what they know. And then there was those trainers I used to compare myself to. They were wonder. Each trainer I've been with, I've been so lucky that every trainer I've.

 

Been with, they have imparted so many wonderful skills. They were so lovely towards me.

 

And when I compared myself to them, I used to think I put them on a pedestal on a stage. And literally, they used to be on.

 

A stage, but I put them on that pedestal thinking, you're so skilled, how.

 

You do this in front of people, you can do a process, you can teach a process, you can change people.

 

And not change people, but get people.

 

To change by using a process, finding root causes, not just working on effects.

 

And really getting this done.

 

And then I remember years later what.

 

It really hit me years later, sitting.

 

On a stage in an auditorium in.

 

Front of about 120 people with my.

 

Son sitting beside me, just watching someone.

 

From the audience doing demos and realizing.

 

Well, I've been bloody doing this for.

 

A few years now. And I didn't know what the problem.

 

Was going to be. I just knew the process.

 

And it was so wonderful, buddy, how I can do that. I am doing that. I'm working with clients now. I've been working with clients for bloody donkeys years now.

 

But being able to sift through and sort through and find their core issue, not just working on the effects, because when you work on effects, the effects.

 

Just keep coming back, I think.

 

But working on the core issue, the thing that once disappeared, will let all.

 

Those effects go and letting it go in that moment. well, I'm doing that too. And, the thing is, I didn't.

 

Notice any of that bloody stuff because.

 

I was too busy doing it being me. And it didn't happen overnight like that.

 

It happened daily, it happened weekly, it happened monthly, it happened annually. See, you knew. You thought I was going to say yearly, showing my use of the english.

 

Language and how to articulate, but just being busy. Yes, I used a lot of it.

 

By modeling them, taking their good bits. Okay, there's those people.

 

They could learn from books.

 

So I learned. I modeled how they learned and then put it into practice to do the work.

 

Those wonderful trainers modeled how they talked.

 

How they moved, how they talked, how they.

 

How.

 

They just got people to feel so relaxed and be so confident in the process. And now I. Because when you first start, you think, I wonder if it's going to work. I really wonder.

 

I bet it didn't work.

 

And sometimes you were afraid the very early days to test the work with your clients, you'd want to get them out the door really quickly, thinking, I'm not going to ask me if it.

 

Worked, but now test the ass off it. You really want to know that that client in front of me has got what they want? No fudging. And, yes, there's always going to be more because I'm thinking about, how.

 

Good was I yesterday? And sometimes those yesterdays weren't so good.

 

Even now I can think of a.

 

Couple of days ago, and I think it was yesterday that far away. Well, I wasn't quite so good, but I got to be better, got to.

 

Get up, got to move on, because I can always strive to be even better.

 

And, what I thought of when I was thinking about all of this.

 

Just think, if you weren't here, you wouldn't be you. So just be grateful for being here, being you. Me being me, not you. Be grateful for me.

 

I'm grateful for you for being here and seeing you change, seeing you get the dreams and achieving everything you want, but just being grateful for being who.

 

We are in this world, in this.

 

Life, living, being we've. We've. We've been given a bloody life to live.

 

 

Every week, every month, every year, we can support others

 

So don't use it by caring it, comparing it to other bloody people.

 

And he said idiots didn't mean that. Be so grateful that we were born.

 

To live this life and do something.

 

With it, create something with it.

 

And if we can really be ourselves, strive to be our best every day.

 

Every week, every month, every year, we can support others.

 

And if we put the two together, if we can be the best version ourselves and support others and do it like selfless service, not wanting anything in return, knowing that the law, reciprocity, reciprocity will come and dump good stuff on us anyway.

 

So you just have to do it. It's going to be a great life. And all you got to do is model, strive to be better and compare yourself to you.

 

Because I made a few notes around this. What do I want to tell you? Basically, there's only one you, so that's.

 

The only you you can bloody be.

 

And if you can be the best.

 

Version of you every day, maybe, not that you think, I could have been.

 

Better yesterday, and I know I could have done, but it was the best I was doing.

 

I wasn't doing anything to purposely bugger.

 

Things up, I just buggered things up. And how do I want you feel? I thought, how do I want you.

 

My friend, to feel?

 

And it was really simple.

 

I just saw a little voice coming out saying, well, I'll do it, then I'll be me.

 

And if I could just get you.

 

To think, okay, then I'll do it. No, okay, I'm going to be me.

 

And I thought to myself, why is this all so important? And it was that last little bit.

 

Because we're on this world for a bloody reason. We've been given the opportunity and we should be grateful for it.

 

And when we're really grateful, that's where.

 

The love comes from, I think.

 

And the thing is, we all have this bloody thing about comparing to.

 

Others, so let's use the skill of comparing, but use it to compare against.

 

Us and feel gratitude and feel grateful, and just to expand the love and the joy. Gonzop, you again.

 

Cluffy. I know, there you go, comparing to other.

 

How do I compare to others is the title of this blooming old podcast. And the answer is, you bloody don't.

 

Do you.

 

Think of that saying, just coming to mind, be the change you want to see in others. Be the change you want to see in yourself. Well, if you can be the change you want to see in others and change you want to be in yourself, you become that model for other people to follow, follow in the way that.

 

They choose the good bits from you.

 

And you get to choose the good bits from them. And the world becomes a happy place. Hopefully it gets more happier, more joy, more love. There you go, my friend. I do appreciate your time with me. I, would love you to share this. You know that I always love people to share this work that we do, because I think it means, well, to me, it's really important. It really is important. I often wonder why I do it, but I know I'm doing it for me because I'm talking to myself. A lot of this is all about. It's all directed to me. And you get the benefit if there is a benefit. But I'm really talking to you, too. Talking to you. The unconscious mind. Your unconscious mind. So if you would share it, it will make things so much better. And if you could subscribe, follow, maybe even leave a little bit of.

 

Don't.

 

Don't worry about leaving little notes on websites you could if you wanted to, but don't worry about it. But if you could just subscribe, follow and bloody share, you would be paying it forward like there's no tomorrow and there is a tomorrow. Well, the times a construct, so tomorrow's today when it comes in. So have so much more fun than you can stand and share it with others.

 

 

Ask me a question. Email me at feedback at personal developmentunplug

 

Okay, so I'm going to go now. We're going to fly. And after flying, if you are new to this, I'll give you the heads up of what the personal development unplugged, podcast is all about. But if you've been here so long, ask me a question. Oh, thought you were going to get away, didn't you? Ask me a question. Ask me about something that you want. Just like this. This wonderful listener of you that are the three of you out there had this thing going on in their life, and I hope I've helped, because this affects us all. And every question you have, every issue you have, you're not alone. Just remember, you're always with us. So email me. I say that really clearly this time. Email me at feedback at personal developmentunplug.com and I'd love to hear from.

 

 

This is the personal development unplugged podcast where we use hypnosis

 

Okay, now it's time to fly.

 

Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.

 

Personal development unplugged.

 

Hey, this is the personal development unplugged podcast where we use hypnosis. Yeah, hypnosis, NLP, neurolinguistic programming. Don't worry what it is. It's just a mass of processes that we're going to get you to change change to let go of anxiety, low self esteem and create massive, massive, supreme inner confidence. But that's confidence in your competence and competence in your confidence, which means you can do anything and be well, be safe to enjoy, enjoy the world as it should be with you at the helm, creating the life that you want. That's what this podcast is about, you and being the best you, you could be, singing from your real voice, aligned with your mission, aligned with your passions.

 

That's what it's about.

 

So if you're interested in letting go of anxiety, if you're interested in letting go of fear, guilt, all those blue in syndromes, impostor syndromes, and every little bit of the mind which is negative, then have a listen here because we've got some wonderful processes and lots of good conversations with between you and me to get us both thinking in such wonderful ways. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Just take the chance to have a, have a listen.