Have you ever felt betrayed by someone you thought you could trust?

It's a deeply painful experience that can leave you questioning not only the betrayer but also your own judgment. Trust, once broken, seems almost impossible to rebuild.

My guest today, Steve Carter, experienced a series of profound betrayals at a pivotal moment in his life. In 2018, amidst misconduct allegations against Bill Hybels, founder of Willow Creek Community Church, Steve made the difficult decision to step down from his role as a newly minted lead pastor—a position he once considered his dream job. Shortly thereafter, he faced yet another personal betrayal by his own parents.

Reeling from the loss of his job, his dream, and his trust in those closest to him, Steve entered a desert season guided by three words he sensed God gave to him: Grieve. Breathe. Receive. Steve's journey through loss is so powerful, so honest, and so deeply healing. Please do not miss this conversation!

Here’s what we cover:

• 2 essential ingredients for trust (12:40)
• Why grief is the antidote to cynicism (22:28)
• Confronting our attraction to patterns of narcissism (28:08)
• The anger high vs. the peace of forgiveness (36:25)
• How he hangs on to his love for the church (34:03)

Purchase Grieve, Breathe, Receive by Steve Carter here.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

• Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.
• Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off!
• This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.
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Related Episodes:

Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven

Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. Park

Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

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Do you ever feel like your spirit is broken?

Do you feel like you can't put yourself back together despite your best efforts?

Please do not miss this episode. My guest, Christopher Cook, has such powerful words about a broken spirit and how it’s different from (but related to) depression and burnout. We also dig into a real time discussion of the dark night of the soul. This conversation connected so many dots for me, and I cannot wait for you to hear it. Here’s what we cover:

1. The painful circumstances that nearly broke Christopher's spirit (7:00)

2. Recovering from survival mode (12:59)

3. What is a broken spirit? (15:32)

4. Chris’s experience of a dark night of the soul (25:07)

5. The true meaning of surrender (30:46)

6. How to support someone going through a dark night of the soul (41:12)

Check out Healing What You Can't Erase by Christopher Cook

Find a list of resources from this episode here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays.

Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

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Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou.

Related Episodes:

Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul—Why It Happens & What It Means

Episode 71: All About Therapy—Do I Need a Therapist, How Do I Find One, and What Type of Therapy Works Best?

Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven

Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when you're grieving?

How do you support others through grief?

Grief shows up in all of our lives—whether you’re grieving the loss of a person, a relationship, or a dream. We need each other to grieve well. It’s not something we were designed to do in isolation. My guest today, hospital chaplain, J.S. Park, is a powerful story teller and grief catcher. His viral posts about grief and death have revealed an incredibly important need. So many of us long to give voice to our grief in a culture that often rushes to push it aside.

If you're feeling grief, or if you love someone who's grieving, please do not miss this episode.

Here’s what we cover: 

1. Why parts of us fear grief (5:20)

2. Why naming grief is so important (9:50)

3. How sitting with loss impacted Joon's faith (23:56)

4. The prayer Joon says before walking into a room (26:20)

5. The #1 thing you can do for someone after a loss (30:56)

6. How to set grief boundaries (36:40)

7. How to support someone who is grieving & what *not* to do (41:07)

8. The one word Joon wants for all of us (48:46)

Order Joon's new book here.

Find a list of resources from this episode here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou.

Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou.

Related Episodes:

Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is just so special and so deeply personal. If you’ve experienced trauma, please listen. If you love someone, please listen. Trauma touches so many lives, and it’s so often misunderstood. In today’s episode, Monique Koven, host of The Healing Trauma podcast, shares her powerful story of healing from trauma. There is absolute gold in this episode for everyone.

Here’s what we cover:

1. The anxiety response she couldn't "logic" herself out of (8:50)

2. How misdiagnosis caused further harm (10:39)

3. The role of anger in her healing (21:21)

4. Exactly how she began to heal the anxiety response she experienced (32:03)

5. Separating God out from hurtful church messages (24:15)

6. How Ann Voskamp’s work showed her an example of glimmers (34:36)

7. Monique’s profound word for you if you’ve experienced trauma (38:13)

Find a list of resources from this episode here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!

Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou.

Related Episodes:

Episode 79: Surviving Trauma & A Path to Forgiveness—Finding God In the Hardest Parts of Your Story With Esau McCaulley

Episode 15: C-PTSD—The Pain of A Million Paper Cuts

Episode 4: What Do I Need To Know About Trauma?

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you walk on eggshells with someone you love?

Do you sometimes feel like you can't have an honest conversation?

Signs of emotional immaturity are everywhere. In today’s episode, we dive into the signs of emotional immaturity and its profound effect on our relationships. You'll learn the difference between emotionally mature and immature responses so that you can improve your connections. Here’s what we cover:

1. Why emotional immaturity is so prevalent & how it showed up in me! (6:15)

2. Examples of mature vs. immature emotional responses (10:43)

3. The difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism (21:44)

4. The role of enmeshment in emotional immaturity (29:41)

5. Tips for how to navigate a relationship with an emotionally immature person (35:33)

6. Tips for growing in emotional maturity (37:42)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order.

Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off!

Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou.

Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off!

Related Episodes:

Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really?

Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. Freeman

Episode 95: 4 Toxic Behaviors You Need to Recognize & the #1 Way to Protect Yourself

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re human, you’ve encountered some toxic behaviors. We all have. And it’s not wise to be naive about them. I’m passionate about helping you identify these toxic behaviors—not to label people, but to name behaviors accurately. When you understand the nature of toxic strategies, you can protect yourself and move toward health. Here’s what you’ll learn:

1. A mistake vs. a pattern of toxic behaviors (4:59)

2. The root of toxic behaviors (15:14)

3. Examples of healthy communication vs. manipulation (16:40)

4. Identifying guilt-driven love (22:03)

5. The difference between constructive feedback & criticism (25:48)

6. Examples of triangulation (31:32)

7. The #1 antidote against toxic behaviors (36:17)

8. Examples of word & action boundaries (39:04)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Listen & subscribe to https://tinyurl.com/HeartOfDatingPodcast!

Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou.

Related Episodes:

Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. Freeman

Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really?

Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil

Episode 26: Types of “No” Part 2—How to Say “No” to Toxicity

Boundaries and the Bible Youtube Playlist

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you decide when it’s time to leave a place or a relationship behind?

We have to make decisions all the time. Yet most of us struggle with it. It’s hard to leave something (or someone) behind. It’s also hard to give ourselves the time that we need to wrestle with the decision.

When you don’t have a process, you might be tempted to avoid decision-making. Or you might rush too quickly into a decision that isn’t quite right. That’s why I’m thrilled to have this conversation with Emily P. Freeman this week. It’s such a rich conversation about how to discern when it’s time to walk away and what to do when it's time to enter into a new space. Here’s what we cover:

1. The truth about tiny red flags (11:29)

2. 4 crucial questions to ask yourself (13:40)

3. What to do with those 51/49 decisions (20:13)

4. Readiness vs. timeliness in decision making (21:30)

5. Emily’s decision process for leaving a church (25:26)

6. How to walk into a new space (33:28)

7. A life-changing 2 word mantra for decision making (38:34)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou.

Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou.

Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Related Episodes:

Episode 93: 3 Ways to Stop Guilt-Tripping Yourself, Untangle Complicated Emotions, & Discover the Joy of Clarity

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotions are complicated. They're also beautiful.

When you don't honor the complicated mix of fears, frustrations, and also the good things that you feel, you doubt yourself and you doubt other people. You deprive yourself of the opportunity to get real wisdom and to brave healthier solutions.

Today we're diving into these complicated feelings together. Here's what we cover:

1. Why emotional complexity is a gift

2. Examples of how we guilt-trip & gaslight ourselves

3. How to locate emotions within a larger story

4. Real-life examples

5. The 3 most important guideposts to get started

Preorder I Shouldn't Feel This Way

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com/BESTOFYOU.

Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!

Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou.

Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Related Episodes:

Episode 92: How to Honor Loss & Why It Matters With Rachel Marie Kang

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We experience big and little losses all the time.

A friend moves away.

An opportunity passes you by.

A relationship ends.

Learning how to recognize and honor the losses we all experience can become a beautiful part of life, leading to more kindness, self-compassion, and connection. But we don't often talk about our losses, let alone how to honor them.

That's why I loved this conversation with Rachel Marie Kang about creating space to honor loss. She is the author of the brand new book, The Matter of Little Losses, a beautiful journey through how to honor the big and little losses in your life. Here's what we cover:

1. The difference between loss and grief (2:09)

2. Different types of loss (7:22)

3. How we process loss as children (14:23)

4. Examples of “little” losses (22:46)

5. The most important way to parent kids through losses (31:04)

6. Rachel’s 3 steps for tending losses each day (35:25)

7. The thing we want most to help us through loss (39:59)

8. Why honoring loss brings hope (47:25)

Get The Matter of Little Losses here.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off!

Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Related Episodes:

Episode 90: Parenting Through Transitions—How Their Challenges Catalyze Your Growth

Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness, Set Boundaries with Loneliness, and What to Do When You Don’t Have Time for this Work

Episode 76: When Self-Help Isn’t Enough—Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache With Granger Smith

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you doubt yourself?

Struggle to respect your own worth?

Self-worth is foundational to both our psychological and our spiritual health, and today's episode is all about how to develop it. My guest, Jamie Kern Lima, is an entrepreneur, philanthropist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she started in her living room and grew to the largest luxury makeup brand in the country.

If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, this episode is for you. Here’s what we cover:

1. The 4 benefits of self-worth

2. The difference between self-worth and self-confidence

3. The moment Jamie realized she was believing a lie

4. Who are you really doubting?

5. The prayer Jamie prayed to combat God-doubt

6. Research on negative self-talk

7. How to reframe rejection

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou.

Music by Andy Luiten.

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Navigating transitions with your children is a deep dive into raw emotions, facing conflict, and your own unhealed wounds.

These transitions aren't easy. The stakes feel so high! But when you face them with courage, compassion and curiosity, you'll find your way through the wilderness and onto a beautiful path. As you do your own work, you'll be an even stronger anchor for your kids!

Rowena Day is back to discuss:

1. How parenting changes our neural pathways (9:25)

2. Learning to set limits (12:17)

3. Parenting differently than how you were parented (22:10)

4. Growth vs. fixed mindset (29:29)

5. A better way to praise your kids (30:29)

6. The problem with peer attachments (36:40)

7. The ultimate goal of all this parenting work (45:47)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off!

Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%!

Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Related Episodes:

Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be

Episode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource Yourself

Episode 88: Navigating Transitions—What to Do When Change Stirs up Anxiety, Uncertainty, or Confusion

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices