The Real Question

Vanessa Zoltan and Casper ter Kuile learned in divinity school about the art of paying attention. In this podcast, they turn that attention to a variety of everyday scenarios in their own lives to see what’s really at stake. Each week, Vaness...

  • 23 minutes 5 seconds
    When to Quit Thinking About a Problem (with Mauricio Bruce)

    Mauricio Bruce is a transpersonal therapist, chaplain, and the co-leader of our What Matters program. This week he joins Vanessa to talk about visualization as a decision-making tool and how to tap into your feelings.



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    This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!






    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    15 April 2024, 2:01 pm
  • 23 minutes 6 seconds
    Should I Quit: Being a Stay-at-Home Parent?

    Sophie decided to take some time off work when she had her second child, but she always thought she would go back to her career in law. Since then however, one of her kids has become disabled and it has felt less and less possible to go back. Should she just give up on having a career? 


    This week on Should I Quit? Sophie and Vanessa discuss how to be a caretaker and also take care of yourself. 


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    This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 April 2024, 2:09 pm
  • 26 minutes 34 seconds
    Should I Quit: Making Political Donations? (with Beth Silvers)

    A few weeks ago we had on Sarah Stewart Holland of Pantsuit Politics and today we're joined by her brilliant co-host, Beth Silvers. Beth makes small donations to political campaigns because she feels like it's 'the right thing to do.' Lately, however, she has realized that her heart isn't really in it. Can she just stop making them? Or does that betray her platform, which is based on the idea of folks being politically engaged?


    This week on Should I Quit? Beth and Vanessa discuss what to do when you feel like a fraud.


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    This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    18 March 2024, 1:59 pm
  • 27 minutes 8 seconds
    Bonus Conversation: How We Misunderstand Homelessness with Charyti Reiter

    For our annual fundraiser at Not Sorry, we are again supporting the wonderful organization On The Rise.


    On The Rise’s work begins with individuals experiencing homelessness in Cambridge, Massachusetts and continues if and when they secure housing. From their origin as a women’s organization, their programs have evolved toward inclusion of those historically and structurally oppressed on the basis of gender.


    In today's episode, Vanessa sits down with On The Rise’s Director of Clinical Services, Charyti Reiter to talk about misconceptions around homeless. We hear also from one of On The Rise's participants, JS. 


    You can help us reach our goal of $10k by donating here


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    14 March 2024, 1:07 pm
  • 25 minutes 26 seconds
    Should I Quit: Halifax?

    Kaitlyn and her partner moved from Winnipeg to Halifax three years, excited to start a new life in a beautiful city. But three years later, they're still craving the sense of home they had in Winnipeg. Is it time to go back?


    This week on Should I Quit? Kaitlyn and Vanessa discuss how to know when you've given something new a 'fair' shot.


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    This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    4 March 2024, 3:55 pm
  • 21 minutes 24 seconds
    Should I Quit: My Personal Bank Account?

    When Anisa and her husband got married, they mostly merged their finances – all except one little bank account that Anisa keeps on the side. Seven years into their marriage, Anisa is wondering: why am I keeping this account? Should I just shut it down?


    This week on Should I Quit? Anisa and Vanessa discuss the historical relationship between women and money and how to keep a sense of privacy in a long term relationship.


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    This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    19 February 2024, 3:37 pm
  • 26 minutes 44 seconds
    When to Quit Trying to Get Published (with Mackenzi Lee)

    Mackenzi Lee is a New York Times bestselling author and the teacher of our upcoming Publishing Crash Course. This week she joins Vanessa to talk about how we measure success in the world of art and publishing.


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    This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    5 February 2024, 3:23 pm
  • 24 minutes 2 seconds
    Should I Quit: Cussing? (with Sarah Stewart Holland)

    We're thrilled today to be joined by Sarah Stewart Holland, co-host of Pantsuit Politics. Sarah was raised in a no-cussing household. When she got older, she embraced cussing and started using swear words all the time. But now, raising three boys of her own, she's realizing she doesn't find the words fun anymore.


    This week on Should I Quit? Sarah and Vanessa discuss how be a good role model for your kids.


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    This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    22 January 2024, 3:24 pm
  • 22 minutes 27 seconds
    Should I Quit: The Idea of Having Kids?

    When Lizzy was younger she always wanted kids. Over time, however, as the realities of life have crept in, she has started to feel more conflicted. Now she’s 35 and she feels like it’s time for a decision! Does she really want them? Or is time to quit the idea of kids for her future?


    This week on Should I Quit? Lizzy and Vanessa discuss how to tell the difference between what you really want and what you feel like you should want.


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    This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    8 January 2024, 3:00 pm
  • 31 minutes 27 seconds
    Should I Quit: End of Year Reflection

    Vanessa is joined by our Should I Quit? producer, Ariana, in our final episode of 2023. Together they look back at the past year of the show and share their take-aways and hopes for the future.


    We're also joined this week by Chaplain Rebecca Ledley, who works with Not Sorry through our Literary Chaplaincy program. Rebecca is running a group chaplaincy circle around Motherhood which starts on January 22nd. You can find out more at: https://notsorryworks.com/journeying-through-motherhood


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    We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    29 December 2023, 3:30 pm
  • 7 minutes 42 seconds
    Did They Quit: Their Relationship?

    In our final guest conversation of the season, we check back in with Emily from Should I Quit: My Relationship? We hear from Emily about the status of her love-life and her hopes for the future.


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    We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    28 December 2023, 3:00 pm
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