From ancient Indian yogic texts to brittle Chinese scrolls to the age of Egyptian Pharaohs when gods walked amongst us, Urine Therapy has been the secret, golden-hued cure for ailments both minor and severe. The miraculous results of Urophagia are almost too numerous to count. Whether you're drinking it, massaging it on your skin and gums, or completely submersing yourself in the sweet, golden waters of Urinaville, we at Bald, LLC are here to answer all your questions about the biggest, most earth-shattering development in medical research ever. #DrinkYourSpiggot #GoldenHealth #FreshHotCupOfHerbalPee

*The content of this episode and its accompanying description are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or even common sense. Always consult with a qualified and licensed physician or other medical care provider, and follow their advice, as they are sure to tell you that you should NOT, under any circumstances, drink your own pee. Seriously. Don't be a brainless sh*tgibbon.

**Furthermore, the author of this description and the hosts of this podcast assume no responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions in the content of this description and/or episode. If you engage in Urine Therapy, may whatever pagan god you worship have mercy on your idiotic soul.

There’s no more shame in your gut game! Synbiotic+ and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide, your insides. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at https://Ritual.com/BALD

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on Little Bald on the Prairie, tune in for a very special episode that the whole family will enjoy. When lying-ass Nellie falls from Laura Ingalls' beloved horse Bunny, that little potato-faced humpty b*tch fakes paralysis rather than simply admit that she's profoundly bad at riding a horse. When Bunny is scheduled to be destroyed at the local glue factory, little Laura Ingalls assumes the hero's mantle and shoves Nellie's wheelchair down a friggin' mountain! In the end, Laura shows the entire world that Nellie sits on a wheelchair constructed entirely of lies. The moral of the story? Prairie b*tches be crazy.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BALD to get 10% off your first month!

Need a website? Head to https://Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

Want to murder your thirst? Go to https://Liquiddeath.com/BALD to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer today!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Recorded live in the famed "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death" capital city of Virginia, please join us for a cordial evening of spirited conversation about art, politics, and culture. After the dessert course, we shall retire to the parlour for a snifter of cognac and a lively debate about the finer points of testicular-grooming, Timothée Chalamet's bird-like features, and wired nipples.

To try America's #1 Meal Kit, go to https://GreenChef.com/BALD50 and use code BALD50 to get 50% off, plus 20% off your next two months!

To find and book a top-rated doctor today, go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD and download the Zocdoc app for FREE!

With Chime’s secure credit card, you can start improving your credit scores right away. Get started today at https://Chime.com/BALD

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Behold, everyone's favorite Drag Race Season 16 faux-villain: Plane Jane! With her shared Boston roots and actual Russian ancestry, she is essentially the little sister of Katya everyone loves to faux-hate. From hot takes on Dune 2 to an affinity for Eastern European glam-pop, get ready for a Bald interview filled with tense smiles, deliciously-awkward pauses, and eventually a genuinely heart-warming bonding experience that will leave you with a restored faith in humanity.

There’s no more shame in your gut game. Synbiotic+ and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide, your insides. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at https://Ritual.com/BALD

Are you still feeding your cat kibble? Stop that! Head to https://Smalls.com/BALD and use promo code BALD at checkout for 50% off your first order PLUS free shipping!

Need to build a website? Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD for 10% off your first month and get on your way to being your best self!

Follow Plane Jane: @The_PlaneJane

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In a world where fashion knows no boundaries, comes a story of self-discovery, unexpected transformations, and erotic culinary adventures. When Jack Huntley is about to lose his old-school diner to a landlord who wants a fancy new restaurant led by a celebrity female chef, he decides to take things into his own hands and become that female chef. With a blonde bouffant wig, 6-inch stilettos, and eyelashes as long as the Florida panhandle, Jack transforms into Jacqueline, the hottest chef in the tri-state area. But when Jack's best friend and sous-chef Randy falls in love with Jacqueline, it makes for a romance best served muy caliente! It's a story that proves once and for all that being true to yourself knows no gender. From the director of Sundance darling "Boyz Don't Eat Piez", comes a movie that breaks all the rules and celebrates the power of friendship, acceptance, and food-based kinks. This summer, experience a true gender-bender of a film. Don't miss "Heels & Meals". Coming soon to a theater near you!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When a Paramus, New Jersey Van Heusen factory outlet is taken over by a vicious gang of black-market avocado dealers from British Columbia, it's up to a mild-mannered security guard to stand up to the criminals and save those business-casual khakis! This Summer, robbing a boomer sportswear company isn't going to be as easy as shooting fish in a barrel. It's Paul Blart: Mall Carp to the rescue!

There’s no more shame in your gut game. Synbiotic+ and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide, your insides. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at https://Ritual.com/BALD

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD for 10% off your first month and get on your way to being your best self!

To murder your thirst, go to https://LiquidDeath.com/BALD to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to Trixie & Katya's Le Poupée Spa, located in a gorgeously-restored halfway house in the beating heart of urine-soaked Hollywood. Forget your hideous spouse, your under-achieving children, and that rash on your inner thigh that simply won't go away, and let yourself slide into blissful relaxation with a massage that was created by six of Moldova's top massage therapists (including eight-time Eastern European Gluteus Maximus Massage of the Year champion Tatiana Svetlana Svetlaskabagoya). Afterwards, book an experimental liquid alloy surgery facial that isn't FDA-approved, but could be at some point in the future once the mysterious deaths are fully investigated. It's a wildly-invasive facial rejuvenation technique, combining state-of-the-art, semi-legal radio-wave technology with medical ingredients shipped in daily from Bulgaria. It drastically transforms skin via small doses of radiation and a thick layer of the same green slime that gave the teenage mutant ninja turtles their amazing martial arts skills. Come for one appointment at Le Poupée, and become a client for a lifetime. When you're here, you're not just a customer, you're one of the dolls.

To find and book a top-rated doctor today, go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD and download the Zocdoc app for FREE!

If you’re 21+ and want to take your passion and pleasure to a whole new level, Try VIIA Hemp! Head to https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use code BALD to receive 15% off and a free sample!

Visit https://LELO.com now for exclusive discounts on luxury intimacy products, and use code BALD10 at checkout for an additional 10% off your purchase!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We are proud to partner this week with the Anti Phone-Shaming League of North America to bring you a very important message: you, dear listeners, are so much more than your phone. Do you have an iPhone X? An iPhone SE? Or even an Android? You're not alone. We are here for you. We want you to know that you are loved, appreciated, and your self-worth is about so much more than that thin piece of glass and aluminum in your pocket. As you lay down tonight in your parents' basement on your tear-stained pillow, we want you to close your eyes and recite the following mantra: "Though I may not have the latest shiny iPhone, a socially-acceptable level of personal hygiene, or even the knowledge of what it's like to be loved; I am good enough, I am smart enough, and gosh darnit people like me."

Start building your credit with Chime! Open a Chime Checking account with at least a $200 qualifying direct deposit to get started. Head to Chime.com/BALD or click here: https://www.chime.com/apply-debit/?ad=podcast_bald

There’s no more shame in your gut game. Synbiotic+ and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide, your insides. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at https://Ritual.com/BALD

It’s 2024. Are you still feeding your cat kibble? Head to https://Smalls.com/BALD and use promo code BALD at checkout for 50% off your first order PLUS free shipping!

Need to build a website? Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Visit https://LELO.com now for exclusive discounts on luxury intimacy products, and use code BALD10 at checkout for an additional 10% off your purchase!

DRIVE AWAY DOLLS is only in theaters now! Visit https://DriveAwayDollsMovie.com to get tickets now!

Pure For Men is the brand for good health and good times! Made by gay men for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Get 20% OFF with promo code: BALD20. Head to: https://puremen.co/baldandbeautiful

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We here at BALD, LLC, including our main counsel Henry Z. Winkleschmiggens IV, Esq., would like to take this opportunity to clear the air regarding the rampant online rumors surrounding Trixie Mattel and Helen Hunt's fictional father in 1996's epic action movie Twister. Is Dr. Jo Harding's father, who was literally sucked into a massive tornado whilst trying to hold a makeshift shelter's door closed in 1969, actually Trixie Mattel's father? If true, that would mean that Trixie is Helen Hunt's fictional sibling, and therefore heir to the Hunt's Ketchup fortune? The answer, devoted listeners of the pod, is "Yes." Trixie is, indeed, Helen Hunt's fictional brother, and therefore privy to all the rights and privileges contained therein.

Visit https://LELO.com now for exclusive discounts on luxury intimacy products, and use code BALD10 at checkout for an additional 10% off your purchase!

DRIVE AWAY DOLLS is only in theaters now! Visit https://DriveAwayDollsMovie.com to get tickets now!

Pure For Men is the brand for good health and good times! Made by gay men for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Get 20% OFF with promo code: BALD20. Head to: https://puremen.co/baldandbeautiful

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does our art threaten you? Does it make you completely reconsider your physical existence? Does it make you stop and question the status quo and stop sleepwalking through life like a sheep? Does it make you feel weird and nervous and uncomfortable and unsure if your houseplants want to murder you? Does it set fire to your neat little sphere of influence to the point where you cease knowing what is real and imagined? Good. Sit in that discomfort and let your soul marinate in the chaotic power that is our art. Look at our art and fear us, you prole.

*Please note: this episode contains references to sexual assault. To contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline, dial 1-800-656-HOPE.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Thirsty? Go to https://LiquidDeath.com/BALD to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer!

Visit https://LELO.com now for exclusive discounts on luxury intimacy products, and use code BALD10 at checkout for an additional 10% off your purchase!

DRIVE AWAY DOLLS is only in theaters this Friday February 23rd! Visit https://DriveAwayDollsMovie.com to get tickets now!

LISA FRANKENSTEIN is only in theaters now! Visit https://LisaFrankensteinFilm.com to get tickets!

Pure For Men is the brand for good health and good times! Made by gay men for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Get 20% OFF with promo code: BALD20. Head to: https://puremen.co/baldandbeautiful

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you love Trixie and Katya with all your heart? Would you like to find a club of other humans who share your affinity for these two remarkable queens? Well now you can! Sign up for the official "The Dolls are the Dolls Fan Club" to join an elite group of fabulous individuals who are super-duper extra special! Exclusive membership benefits include: An official non-laminated "I'm a Doll" Membership Card that could arrive in the mail, or maybe not! An annual newsletter written not by Trixie or Katya, but by someone! A unique email forwarding address: <[email protected]>. An "I Play with Dolls" bumper sticker for when you take your kids to the local playground! And for a limited time, all "Elite Cadet" members get a lock of Katya's hair! All you have to do is send in a self-addressed, stamped-envelope with seventeen General Mills proof-of-purchases to: Dolls, LLC, PO Box 666, Aurora, CO 99991. Don't be a sad loser for another minute! Join now!

To try the #1 Meal Kit for eating well, go to https://GreenChef.com/60BALD and use code 60BALD to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next two months!

Visit https://LELO.com now for exclusive discounts on luxury intimacy products, and use code BALD10 at checkout for an additional 10% off your purchase!

DRIVE AWAY DOLLS is only in theaters February 23rd. Visit https://DriveAwayDollsMovie.com to get tickets now!

LISA FRANKENSTEIN is only in theaters February 9th. Visit https://LisaFrankensteinFilm.com to get tickets now!

Pure For Men is the brand for good health and good times! Made by gay men for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Get 20% OFF with promo code: BALD20. Head to: https://puremen.co/baldandbeautiful

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

• To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
• Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
• If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
• To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
• To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
• To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices