Helping Couples Heal Podcast

Duane Osterlind & Marnie Breecker

  • 19 minutes 52 seconds
    60: Integrity Abuse: The Elephant in the Room

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with Ilyse Craft, Certified Transformational Coach, about the "A" word that many betrayers seek to avoid.

    Marnie and Ilyse dive deep into integrity abuse through the lens of deceptive and compartmentalized sexuality. Using the metaphor of the "secret sexual basement", they turn the spotlight on the word that nobody wants to say (or hear) because developing a language based in truth and creating a shared narrative is necessary for couples to heal. Accepting and naming the integrity abuse inherent in sexual betrayal is profoundly helpful for both betrayers and betrayed partners. 

    2 May 2024, 4:34 pm
  • 1 hour 20 minutes
    59: Looking Back with Stan Tatkin

    In this special edition of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with Stan about the original episode they recorded back in 2021 and explore why that episode was so popular with our listeners. Their conversation is followed by the re-release of the original episode.

    17 April 2024, 1:19 am
  • 1 hour 26 seconds
    58: One Woman's Story of Hope

    In this episode of Helping Couples Heal, Marnie talks with award-winning actress Maddie Corman about her journey of healing from betrayal trauma in the aftermath of discovering her husband's secret life.

    In 2015, life as Maddie knew it came to a screeching halt when the police came to her home to arrest her husband. In an instant everything changed and her life as she knew shattered in a very public and shocking way.

    With raw vulnerability, Maddie shares with us how the biggest trauma of her life led to transformation, hope and healing.

    2 April 2024, 7:34 pm
  • 27 minutes 17 seconds
    57: One man's story of hope

    In this episode of Helping Couples Heal, Marnie interviews Chris Jones, a coach and therapist who shares his own story of healing from problematic sexual behavior. Chris opens up about his own process, what he has learned and what was the prominent factor that caused his wife to never doubt his commitment to recovery.  

    12 March 2024, 8:02 pm
  • 35 minutes 48 seconds
    56: Grief & Loss after Betrayal

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk about the losses that result from betrayal and the grieving process couples must walk through together as an important part of relational healing. When couples are able to do the hard work of grieving together, they create the shared narrative necessary to envision a future for their relationship. 

    27 February 2024, 11:24 pm
  • 31 minutes 21 seconds
    55: Looking Ahead After Betrayal At The Start Of A New Year

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane discuss setting goals and intentions for the new year and the difficulty that might arise in the process when thinking about and planning for the future for couples trying to heal their relationship after betrayal.

    Our intention for all of our listeners as you begin the new year is healing and peace. 

    17 January 2024, 12:23 am
  • 50 minutes 46 seconds
    54 How to Reconstruct a Relationship with Jake Porter

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with Jake Porter of Daring Ventures about trauma, addiction, secure attachment, grief and loss, and how to reconstruct a relationship that has been traumatized by betrayal. We discuss how couples can create new meaning in their relationships after betrayal and the importance of working together to develop a shared collaborative narrative of their history.  

    We also explore the steps and tools necessary to help couples heal and explain why it is so important for the person who has committed the betrayal to become a part of the healing process even though they are the person who is responsible for the hurting.  

    Please use this link to purchase Making Saves as referred in the podcast. Use the coupon code "helpingcouplesheal" for a 50 percent discount. 

    21 October 2023, 12:45 am
  • 15 minutes 48 seconds
    53: Shattering the Stigma: Providing Hope for Men Impacted by Betrayal Trauma

    In the face of betrayal, healing may seem like an impossible task for male partners. 

    Male betrayed partners are often overlooked in the treatment of betrayal trauma. In this episode, Marnie and Duane address the challenges that male betrayed partners face in the aftermath of betrayal and emphasize the need for support in their healing process. 

    Men are often taught to be strong and emotionally stoic, making it difficult to seek help when they experience betrayal. The void of resources specifically for men reinforces this. 

    You're not alone in your pain. We see you, we hear you, and we are creating resources and support specifically for male betrayed partners. 

    - Marnie Breecker

    While female betrayed partners, in general, have gained much more attention and resources in the last decade, men often continue to be overlooked. This podcast episode addresses the need to create safe spaces where men can express their hurt without judgment.  We provide valuable insights about how the socialization of men discourages asking for help and acknowledging their pain and emphasize that acknowledging the hurt is the first crucial step toward healing.

    To all the betrayed men listening, we want you to know that we recognize that your voices need to be heard, your pain acknowledged and specific resources and support dedicated to your healing. 

    We all deserve to heal, regardless of gender.

    Betrayal does not come in one gender. When we are betrayed by the person we love the most, it does not matter what your external life is like. What you have lost is what matters. 

    - Duane Osterlind


    The critical moments in this episode are:

    00:01:27 - Differences between male and female betrayed partners, 

    00:03:59 - Male betrayed partners as an underserved population, 

    00:07:03 - Shame and stigma faced by male betrayed partners, 

    00:09:01 - Delayed response of male betrayed partners, 

    00:15:13 - Importance of Trust


    Find out more about our couples workshop.

    https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

    14 September 2023, 3:32 am
  • 26 minutes 47 seconds
    52: Embracing a Restorative Justice Model After Betrayal

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, hosts Marnie Breecker and Duane Osterlind emphasize the importance of adopting a restorative justice model when healing a relationship after betrayal.

    They advocate for moving away from a punitive mindset and instead focusing on healing, repairing the harm caused, and fostering understanding.

    The hosts address common misconceptions, such as the idea that showing compassion to the betraying partner neglects or disrespects the betrayed partner. They stress that the restorative approach respects the humanity of everyone involved and allows for accountability and meaningful repair.

    By embracing this model, couples can work towards true healing and wholeness in their relationships, both in the short term and for a lifetime.

    The hosts highlight that the restorative justice model has been proven effective in reducing the likelihood of reoffending and increasing recovery and success rates in healing.

    They invite listeners to consider this approach and reassure them of their dedication to supporting individuals on their healing journey.


    Find out more about our workshop.

    https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

    7 August 2023, 8:09 pm
  • 55 minutes 11 seconds
    51: In Each Other's Care with Stan Tatkin

    In this episode, Marnie and Duane welcome Stan Tatkin back to the Helping Couples Heal podcast to continue their discussion about healing relationships after betrayal and to talk about his new book In Each Other's Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them. 

    This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand how to create relationships based on fairness, justice, and mutual sensitivity and how to make them thrive long-term.

    Check out our free webinar on healing your relationship after betrayal trauma.

    https://workshop.helpingcouplesheal.com/

    29 June 2023, 10:01 pm
  • 30 minutes 7 seconds
    50: The Power of Personal Advocacy and Collaboration in Betrayal Trauma Treatment

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk about being responsible for your healing and what that means. While building a treatment team is critical for successful recovery and healing, advocating for yourself is equally important. 

    Therapy/therapeutic coaching is a collaboration and partnership between the treating professional and the client/clients. 

    Learning to advocate for yourself and be a collaborative partner in this process is crucial to staying on a path that's right for you/your relationship as you heal from the trauma of betrayal. 


    Learn more about the HCH 2-Day Couples Workshop at:

    https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/


    22 May 2023, 6:15 pm
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