We're making up for last weeks lost power, Chaco is awaiting the arrival of his beloved mother and squeezing in a couple don't gets. Chatting about

- Squatter's Rights
- Fat Fat Fatties

In a just and loving world if you owned a property you could live there, if you didn't own a property you can't live there without some sort of agreement with the owner. However in the topsy turvy clown world somehow people showing up and making a pile of filth some how have more legal rights than the actual owner trying to take possession on of a property. In our quest to be compassionate the soulless among us have corrupted that goodwill into a method of breaking the system and shafting the rest of us with the bill. Were this a proper society you'd legally be able to bulldoze your own property with them inside, unfortunately we can't yet do that.

And speaking of 2 ton earth movers, why is it socially acceptable to weigh as much as a baby elephant or more? Unless you're closing in on 7ft tall there's just no reason to have that much weight. Put the fork down! Our society has poisoned us on convenience and false flavor. It's far too easy to reward oneself with a treat over and over again than it is to suffer briefly for a long term gain. Children are being fattened up on school lunches, which should truly be a crime, all the while being told it's not their fault it's genetics. Yeah Jenn ate six donuts on the way to work this morning, and then had a cup of cream and sugar with a splash of coffee. Stop eating fatso!

All of that plus the true price of a cup of Japanese Coffee, the brewing war in El Chaco-stan, and how many shots is too many?

Welcome back loyal HWIDG fans, El Chaco had a last minute rain storm that killed his power so he's missed our episode. Tim and Tab will soldier on though and they are talking about.

- Gambling
- Theatre

Do you have twenty dollars? Would you like to briefly have more than twenty dollars and then no dollars? Well boy do we have a new service for you! At Gamble Co. one of our supreme customer service persons will personally deliver to you a random amount of cash money, and then within 45 minutes mug you for everything you have, leaving you feeling betrayed and depressed. All the thrill of gambling but we'll come right to you!

This is my life's story, abridged, please enjoy.

All of that plus Tab gets a Waifu, Tim takes a month off, and your voicemails!

Hope to broadcast out again soon!

Welcome back HWIDG fans to this very special Anniversary Episode of HWIDG. I'm Joined by El Chaco, and the Handlebreaker, we're catching up, and we're talking about...

Forgotten Auto-Payments
Rewards Memberships
Cowards

Isn't it great these days how you can give a 16 digit number, a 4 digit expiration, and a 3 digit confirmation code to a company, and they will never ever ever forget it. The gym membership system really caught on a couple decades ago and spread into literally everything. Between that and the "Save a dollar if instead of spending $10 a month you spend $110 a year!" scam to make you extra sure you never cancel. Everything has been designed to keep you in the system, paperless billing, because they know you set up an email filter because they're sending inane advertisements 3 times a week. Oh you forgot, guess you're paying for another month of HWIDG.

It used to be a loyalty program was that you went down to Ernie's for everything on your car. Ernie lived a few blocks away and he's an honest guy. He took care you you and your car, you paid him what he deserved, he never screwed you. Then Ernie's son took over the family business. Now he's got a punch card. 3 oil changes the 4th one is half price! It's just like the old days with Ernie, except he can't seem to remember your name, and "Oh wouldn't you know it the stamps out of ink, but I'll  sign it in pencil for you." Then the next time you can't find the card in the glove box. Thanks for being a loyal customer!

The world has gone too soft, people comport themselves too often with a lack of dignity and integrity. We've allowed the meek to inherit the Earth, and what they've done is weaponized their meekness against those of us who aren't afraid to get smacked once in a while. Why is it more offensive these days for someone to do a good job, and be honest, than it is to hide your true intentions and try to destroy them? What did Marty do in the past that truly ruined our future? I don't know, and Michael J Fox currently blocked my number.

All of that plus your voicemails, Tim trys to learn Tab's secret question, and we find out what these gents have gotten themselves into the last few months. Thanks once again for being a part of HWIDG for all these years, don't be surprised to see a new episode once in a while. We hope you'll still listen.

In a shocking turn of events, Andy and Big Cray Duke have gotten together to keep the streak alive for another week. Taking us to 351. This was completely of their own volition. They're talking about;

The Modern Popularity of Jeeps
Pulling Trailers
People Who Don't Close the Copy machine

Jeeps are a national past time, these days those the manufacturer has lost all sense of purpose. It used to be a given that a jeep had a four wheel drive selector. Not anymore! Now a jeep is just another boxy SUV running out the clock on the popularity of a brand while delivering zero of the perks. Sure the Wrangler can still be stripped to have almost the appearance of a jeep, but deep down, it's just your mom's suv headed for soccer practice. You might as well be driving a mini van you giant loser.

It's said no good deed goes unpunished, so of course when Andy seeks out to do a simple favor it becomes a complete day of work. Why would you expect the owner of a trailer to maintain the trailer, when there are people lining up to borrow it that are far better suited to make sure it's in proper working order. A set of tie down straps, a spare tire, a trailer jack, and an air compressor are just a jaunt to Harbor Freight away. Spend a hundred bucks, no big deal, at least the trailer is free.

And speaking of free, you know what else is free? Closing the copy machine. I get it, I've left stuff on the scanner bed all the time. I recently found a document on a scanner that was placed on the scanner sometime in 2021 before my Boss left her old position at the theater to go work elsewhere, it is now 2023 she has returned to take the big chair and we found it. Meaning for two years, nobody used that scanner. If that had been open for two years it would be, COMPLETELY UNUSABLE. Close the scanner, it's not hard.

All of that plus a new holiday, and finally some resolution with voicemails from Mom.

Tim is once again live in person in the most dangerous city in America. He's still gun shy on the toilets, the table is a green screen, and we're talking about.

The Speed of Nine to Five
Inhumans

In this corporate hellscape we live in, many are trapped in a cubicle or office for 40 hours every week. Most people don't actually have 40 whole hours of productivity in them though. This is the real social contract we've become trapped by. Your employer will pay you for 40 hours a week, they expect you to be there, but they'll kind of look the other way when you spend half the day dicking around on facebook getting into arguments with relatives you haven't seen in nearly a decade. So even though you could wipe out the whole days work from 9am to 9:15am, for some reason you decide to dole it out little by little over the course of the week. That's great except you ARE WASTING MY TIME AS WELL!

Culture has exposed me to a lot of new ideas over the last few years. I used to think that there should only be one Tab per Million people, too many and you have too much chaos, too many people questioning the status quo. That was when I thought that I was abnormal, I thought my brain was wired not quite right. More and more I'm starting to believe my brain is closer to right than wrong, sure I often arrive at a conclusion in a different order than others, but the conclusion is usually the correct one. Learning that the people around you don't see pictures, can't hear audio, and can't imagine their feelings under different circumstances really brings that NPC meme into perspective. It's no wonder reading has subsided in our culture, to people like me it's watching the best movie you've ever seen. To NPCs it's just words on a page.

All of that plus the News, your voicemails, and unfortunately yes the announcement that this will be the last Consecutive Episode of HWIDG. After 350 straight weeks of doing the show, 6 seasons, 6 Co-hosts, and all of your generous time and support over the years. I have decided to end HWIDG while we are still on top. I want to sincerely thank you for listening, I'm extremely lucky to have had your ear for as long as I have. I wish you all the great fortune in your lives, and may you never lose the fire to stand up for what you believe in.

Tab

Welcome back our buddy El Chaco this week. His internet is sabotaging him again, but we're pushing through and talking about

False Finalities
Toxic Masculinity

It's becoming pretty clear nothing will ever end again. Franchises must continue forever so that another buck can be squeezed from the stone. Does it really mean anything anymore when a character dies? When a Rockstar announces their final tour, and 3+ years of dates do you really need to rush to get tickets? Endings should be like the state of nature, nasty brutish and short. Rip off the band aid, move on, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

As men continue to co-opt women's spaces, I've really turned the corner on toxic masculinity being a problem. Of course I'll always be the poster boy for toxic masculinity because I don't display my emotions, dress ambiguously, and I don't put pronouns in my email sign off. All the while true toxic masculinity burns women only spaces to the ground. Don't worry though, I'm sure it will end there, no way this spins out of control until we have State Mandated Homosexuality.

All of that plus we have your voicemails, and news of the week.

Buck is back this week, and we're unpacking some childhood trauma in this struggle sesh. So pull up a bean bag, light up a doob, and get ready to slappa da bongos bruddah.

Shovel Leaners
Crying About Working Conditions

When push comes to shove these days, you can count on just about everyone around you to do absolutely everyone around you to go out of their way to do nothing to help you. Flat tire? Eff You. Need help moving a large item in your apartment building? Get bent. Feeling some dark emotions and need a listening ear? Be a man! Surely there will be no consequences for our total ever growing societal narcissism.

These days instead of doing anything to advance yourself, just band together with the other absolutely useless people you work with and demand more. Sure maybe one guy in a hundred deserves more, but the other 99 of you are going to ride that guy to death while you try and squeeze another few bucks an hour. All the while they tell you "we're in this together" and pretend that the standard day to day functions of the job are somehow cruel and unusual.

All of that plus a secret members only island, and a conspiracy so vile but it's been right under your nose the whole time.

Tony is on this week, and he brought his disavowing boots. So let's see how many times we can make him wish he had never done that thing which I use to black mail him into doing my bidding.

Not Believing in True Stories
Film Actors Guild

When a movie says that it is "Based on a true story" that means everything in it is completely factually accurate because dramatic license doesn't exist. Seriously though, don't base your whole ideology around movies, someday the writer will be revealed to be a sex pest and now you're completely devoid of personality. People can't do that though so they must defend to the death a movie, or risk being considered not a real fan.

The Film Actors Guild (S) went on strike this week. So all your mindless hours of television are going to be delayed. Oh no, what ever will I do without another Disney film for the rest of my life? I think it's odd they want you to stand in solidarity, but they don't want you to boycott the companies supposedly raking them over the coals. Wouldn't mass deletion of Netflix accounts make the executives race to solve the problem? Keep consuming dear customer, keep consuming.

All of that plus a head of state gets the finger, a "tragic" fire, and who got banned form the Voicemails?

Tim is back this week, despite St Louis best efforts to destroy him. He's technically a biohazard and he's raging against,

- Being Nostradamus
- Flopbusters

Humanity on the whole seems to have completely lost the ability for pattern recognition over the last few decades. Maybe it's attention spans being near zero, but it doesn't take an incredibly intelligent person to figure out that something that happens 109 times is likely to happen again, and have a specific cause. When you do get that noggin' joggin' and notice all there is to notice, you seem like a super genius compared to the NPCs we have around.

Is hollywood intentionally burning money? I'm really starting to wonder. They just keep shoveling out crap, ostensibly their goal is to make money, and make it from making movies. So why do they keep taking massive risks on giant blockbusters when some simple math shows that a 20 million dollar movie that makes 100 million at the box office is a better investment than a 340 million dollar movie that makes 700 million at the box office, and that example is two winners. I for one hope that they will collapse under the weight of their own ineptitude.

All of that, plus Tim gets the Official St. Louis Goodbye.

Here we go again fans, Buck is back this week and we're talking about,

Being the Autistic Expert
Life on Easy Mode
Idealized Society Fantasies

These days if you want a lot of irrelevant amount of information about a niche topic, you can get Chat GPT to write all about it for you. In the before times though you had to talk to that weird kid who knew every winner of every WCW match from the last 38 years despite only being 9 years old. Every so often you run into that coworker that can tell you an excruciating amount of detail about the train that has you trapped in traffic on the way to your mandatory fun work getaway.

There are two kinds of people in this world. One type works hard, keeps quiet about their issues, and tries to make the world a better place for those around them. The other does the exact opposite, but also has the gall to blame everything on the first group and claims to be a victim of their hard work. If the first group just stopped doing the right thing, for even a week, the second group would collapse under their own ineptitude, and they can't even shut up about it.

Now if only those people would listen to this show this wouldn't be a problem. However they don't and no matter how much moaning we do the problem still exists. Trying to unproblem a problem from happening is the biggest delusion we live around. The perpetually online mouth breathers live in a fantasy land where if enough people wish a thing to be it will. Instead of discussing and fixing things, we get trapped in the first gear of these morons wishing it away.

All of that plus, up to the minute voicemails, what's on your mind in mexico, and new frontiers in misogyny.  

Welcome back HWIDG listeners, we're shot out of a cannon this week, and railing against.

Human Rights TM
Bar Trivia

These days everything seems to be a human right, unless it actually benefits the individual, then it's a dangerous lie and needs to be stopped. It's so exhausting being beaten with the cudgel of rights while the ones that matter are constantly waived away, or even the "rights" being argued are only selectively applied. Unfortunately we're still a hundred thirty years from a better definition of rights.

Bars need patrons, patrons need something to do other than drink themselves to death. Enter bar trivia, wouldn't it be fun to get together with a few friends and answer some questions for some free beer? Well hold your horses, the table next door every single person is dicking around on their phone during the round. The questions are almost inaudible, and the prizes? Well they are basically worthless. So they gave away 5 beers, but they sold 50 to all the losing teams.

All of that plus whatever happened to the pickup truck ball cooler vent? Fake priests, and El Chaco needs to be vetted by interpol.