Hi Perfectionist Friend,

I SEE you. I know you. Sometimes, I am you.

You likely find yourself often feeling stuck. You’re tightly holding onto dreams, but unable to take steps toward them. You feel the weight of chronic decision fatigue as you try to determine what the next “best” or “right” step is. So you find yourself waiting. Waiting until the time and conditions are juuuust right. Yet, somehow that time never comes.

I know you want more - but with less worry, nervousness, and anxiety.  

I see you worrying about what others might think if you flop.

I see you anxiously stuffing your dreams into deep hiding places because you think you might fail.

Perhaps you desire perfection so deeply you cannot make a decision or take any action because… FEAR.

Perhaps you spend inordinate amounts of mental energy on a decision because you think making the wrong decision could ruin everything.

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in motherhood and entrepreneurship is that perfect sucks. In fact, perfect stops me in my tracks and keeps me stuck for far too long. And, imperfect action is ridiculously liberating.

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Melissa Bond is a narrative journalist, poet, and matriarch of Salt Lake City’s Slam Scene. The Salt Lake Tribune and the New York Post have both done features on Bond's book Blood Orange Night, her memoir about becoming dependent upon and then withdrawing from Benzodiazepines. Blood Orange Night was published by Simon & Schuster in June 2022 and was selected by the New York Times as one of the best audiobooks of 2022. Bond has been featured on PBS Story in the Public Square, Radio West, the podcasts Risk!, Endeavors, Psychology Unplugged, The New York Times 

Podcasts, RadioWest and Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books.

Listen in to hear Melissa share:

• How a very common medical prescription for insomnia led to full physical dependence on benzodiazepines that led to her rapid physical and mental downward spiral
• How she was able to begin to put together the pieces around her unforeseen medication dependence after narrowly escaping harming herself and her daughter in a fall
• Her discovery that her myriad of strange physical and mental health symptoms were actually her going through medication withdrawal every single day
• Her decision to confront the doctor who massively overprescribed benzodiazepines to her
• How the Benzo Harmed Community relates differently to common terminology around addiction 
• How the “shadow of shame” impacts people’s recoveries from substance use, substance dependence, and substance abuse
• Her advice to moms who are mentally or physically suffering with the demands of motherhood and how they can get help from medical professionals in the most safe and trusting way

Links mentioned:

• Connect with Melissa: www.melissaabond.com
• Melissa’s Book: Blood Orange Night
• Melissa on Instagram
• Melissa on Facebook

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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Mom guilt is one of my favorite topics. Mom guilt is familiar to most if not all moms. However, very few moms consider where this constant guilt and the accompanying feelings of inadequacy come from.  

In this Greatest Hits episode, I talk about mom guilt as a social construct in which women are indoctrinated to think they should feel bad for ever prioritizing themselves, their identity, their careers, or their happiness over their kids.

You know how I know this is true?? Because I know the following:

Dads are not asked, “How do you do it all? How do you juggle your career with your family?

Dads are not asked, “Don’t you feel bad when you have to travel for work and you don’t get to see your kids for 3 days?”

Dads don’t have to internalize messages like, “I don’t know how you work so much. I would feel so bad not being at my kid’s games/practices/plays/recitals.”

When dads consider taking up new hobbies/activities they don’t automatically think, “That would be awesome, but I would feel so bad taking that time away from my family.”

Women are indoctrinated to feel like subpar moms if they prioritize their careers, self-care, or their sanity over their family's needs. Men are encouraged to prioritize their careers and hobbies over their family's needs - “Climb that corporate ladder!” “You gotta start golfing with us, man!” “Meet us every Saturday for pick-up basketball!”

I am inviting you to take a look at the guilt you carry. Guilt of any kind is not productive. It keeps us stuck. It holds us back. It does not serve any positive purpose. So, if you’re spending time stuck in mom guilt, you’re wasting time and energy that could be used for so many other positive things in your life.  

In this episode, I talk about how we can flip this social construct on its head to protect our energy, gifts, and rights to rest (yes, you will rest more when you stop feeling so damn guilty.) If you’re ready to reject mom guilt, this episode is for you! 

Links mentioned:

• Book: Drop The Ball by Tiffany Dufu

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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Alyson Baber is a mom, wife, and tenured sales leader with experience in both startups and major public enterprises. Her background spans chemical engineering, medical device and capital equipment field sales, tech sales, and advisory roles. Currently, Alyson serves as the VP of Commercial Sales at Outreach. Previously, she held roles as the Head of Sales at Melio and helped Zoom scale from $50M to $4B in revenue. Prior to that, she led new business and expansion sales at SendGrid (now Twilio) and various startup teams within Intuit.

Alyson has a passion for leadership, problem-solving, data analytics, and creating clarity and process from chaos. Because she can't say no to a good challenge, she's been an advisor for multiple startups and is an LP at Stage2 Capital.

Alyson lives in Colorado with her husband, two children, and a puppy named Baxter (yes, from Anchorman). In her free time, she enjoys taking advantage of all things Colorado, traveling, having a creative outlet through multiple art mediums, and attempting to learn to ski well past the level of her comfort.

Listen in to hear Alyson share:

• How healing her eating disorder in her teens and twenties shaped who she is today as a woman and leader
• How her eating disorder was a coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, uncertainty, and ambiguity 
• How she got affordable and effective eating disorder help in a surprising place - ultimately allowing her to be in recovery for 15 years now
• How her recovery impacts how she shows up in personal relationships and leads in professional spaces
• Her and her husband’s winning decision for him to stay home as their kids’ primary caregiver while she pursues executive leadership roles
• How she is consciously building her own leadership brand
• What a leadership brand can look like for highly effective leaders
• How she navigates her desire to be respected vs being liked

Link mentioned:

• Connect with Alyson on LinkedIn

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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How are you at holding space for tension? The discomfort of tension in our lives can make us rush through a trying moment to get out of discomfort as quickly as possible.  

What would change for you if you could embrace discomfort and sit in it for a minute?

In this Greatest Hits episode, I talk about an interview with Oprah and Steven Pressfield for SuperSoul Sunday. They were talking about resistance - and that resistance MUST exist in all opportunities that provide growth, evolution, and magic.  

Steven said, “Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the life unlived within us. Between the two stands Resistance.” 

Wow, if that doesn’t speak to my soul.

I see so many Shameless Moms working to hold space for tension and practicing embracing the resistance. It is in these spaces that some of life’s most powerful lessons and moments come to exist. It is profound and life-altering.  

And I see Shameless Moms who feel the resistance and take it as a sign that something is not meant to be. 

Mama…. NO.  

I want you to lean into the resistance. See it. Embrace it. Own it. Walk through it. It will change you - in all the BEST ways.  

Listen in to hear me share the 3 phases of holding tension that will allow you to walk through resistance, find your power, and declare a magical VICTORY on the other side. 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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The day you became a mom you were catapulted into a new leadership role with no training and dire consequences if you couldn’t rise to the occasion. For months, you stumbled, fumbled, and slowly figured this new leadership role out. You learned new skills, you learned how to take care of those you were leading, and you advocated for those in your care at every turn. You felt protective in a way you have never felt protective before. You knew it was on you to figure this out quickly. And, you did it.  

Over the last couple of years, as I’ve had conversations with women in new leadership roles, I‘ve heard over and over about how hard it is to step into a new leadership role with little or no training. It’s overwhelming, disorienting, and exhausting. There are so many things to figure out - some inconsequential and some largely consequential. In many instances, folks who were once your peers are now the people you have to give hard feedback to. You have this sense that all eyes are on you - and maybe, just maybe, some folks would be happy to see you fail. So, there is no room for mistakes. And, it seems, no room to give yourself grace.  

As I stepped into community leadership roles over the last few years, I was excited to give back, make a difference, and have a voice. But having a voice feels scary AF when you go to open your mouth for the first time in front of a new audience. How can you instill quickly build trust and demonstrate integrity? How can you solicit support while sharing new ideas and opinions?  

Most opportunities to lead come too fast. You feel ill-prepared. You question if you are the right person or the right “fit” for the job. You are. You’ve been here before. You’ve figured it out. And, you’re sure as hell going to figure it out this time too. 

In this episode, I talk through why owning the title of leader might feel conflicting to you, 3 key responsibilities in any leadership role, and what to do when you find yourself in a leadership role that you don’t feel totally prepared for.  

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The mental load of motherhood is the invisible yet relentless responsibilities, from managing household chores to coordinating family schedules, which often fall disproportionately on mothers. This burden not only involves physical tasks but also includes the (often more exhausting) emotional and cognitive labor of anticipating and attending to the needs of their children and family members.

The Motherload (aka the mental load of motherhood) includes the 175 running lists you keep in your head in every single moment of #everydamnday.

It includes:

• every school form you need to sign tonight
• how much creamer you have left in the fridge
• how many rolls of TP you have in the house
• when you need to call your mom
• what bills you need to pay by next Wednesday
• when the kids have their next day off school
• every single email you need to reply to today and which ones can wait until tomorrow
• what time the babysitter is coming on Friday
• which hotel you need to book for spring break
• which of your kid’s friends can’t have peanuts
• which of your kid’s friends you need to buy bday gifts for
• which socks your kid will NOT wear
• how many pairs of clean undies every single person in the household has left before you have to do laundry again
• what you’re having for dinner tonight and tomorrow and the next night and the next night and the next night and the next night
• which kid will eat crusts
• which kid will eat carrots
• Have any of the children had any water today?

You are a living, breathing library of information. You are basically hosting an entire internet system right inside your head.

It’s a lot. Too much. So overwhelming and often maddening.

And sometimes downright unfair.

The Motherload is exhausting on so many levels.

I want to give you some hope. But I’m going to warn you that this will require some work (I promise to keep it simple!) on your part. But the work will be REWARDING. The work will lessen the load!

When it comes to The Motherload, we tend to make it really hard on ourselves. We get in our own way over and over. We get stuck in perfectionism and martyrdom, making ourselves completely miserable.

Listen in as I give you 4 methods to manage the madness. These simple methods are going to dramatically improve your life and create space in your head (who doesn’t need more space in their head?!)

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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Julie Neale is a life and leadership coach, mom to two neurodivergent boys, and creator of Mother’s Quest, the Mother’s Quest Podcast, and the Live Your EPIC Year Planner. Started in 2016, Mother’s Quest provides inspiration, coaching, and community for mothers who want to live their version of an E.P.I.C. life while raising their children. At the age of 50, Julie received a diagnosis of ADHD, realizing that she is also neurodivergent. The diagnosis explained a lot and has provided a window for her to understand better what it’s like for her children to embrace their differences while finding strategies to address the challenges. This year, Julie is serving on the UCLA Parents' Council. She looks forward to working alongside her son Ryan, from a parent perspective, to support neurodivergent students and their families at UCLA.

Ryan Neale is a neurodivergent sophomore at UCLA, planning to double major in Communication and Disability Studies with a minor in Film Studies. He is part of the College Scholars Program at UCLA and recently was selected as part of the 2023 Chancellor's Leadership Program cohort. He is passionate about neurodiversity advocacy and sharing his own experiences to pave the way for others. He is currently a staff member at the Bruin Resource Center, where he is a student lead on a new campus-wide neurodiversity initiative to make UCLA more inclusive for students like him. This summer, he served on staff for the Stanford Neurodiversity Project - Research, Education, and Advocacy Camp for high schoolers wanting to create neurodiversity advocacy projects. He was also a speaker at the 2021 Stanford Neurodiversity Summit and has been a guest host on the Mother’s Quest Podcast. Ryan was diagnosed with autism at the age of 18 months old and also identifies with ADHD and anxiety.

April is Autism Awareness Month. April 2nd is Autism Awareness Day. I was so honored to have Ryan and Julie here to talk about neurodiversity, including autism, and all that Ryan is doing to build inclusive spaces for kids like him on college campuses.  

Listen in to hear Ryan and Julie share:

• Ryan’s optimism around the neurodiversity movement, esp in collegiate environments
• Ryan’s autism diagnosis at 18 months and his experience of learning of his diagnosis at age 13
• Ryan’s disconnection from his diagnosis given his propensity for rich connections
• How Julie was diagnosed with ADHD when going through menopause 
• The difference in the ways Ryan and Julie accepted and integrated their respective diagnoses
• What Ryan’s transition into college life has been like
• How Ryan has leaped into neurodivergence advocacy at UCLA

Links mentioned:

• Connect with Julie: https://mothersquest.com
• Connect with Ryan: www.ryanjneale.com 
• Mother’s Quest on IG: www.instagram.com/mothersquestpod
• Ryan on IG: www.instagram.com/ryan.neale04
• Ryan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryan-neale-031112176/
• Autism Story Telling Project in San Fransisco: https://www.autismstorytellingproject.com/ 
• Spark Course about Ryan’s college experience 
• Mother's Quest Podcasts with Ryan related to neurodiversity:
• https://mothersquest.com/ep-93-learning-outside-the-lines-in-college-with-neurodivergent-advocates-ryan-neale-jonathan-mooney/
• https://mothersquest.com/embracing-neurodiversity-and-being-an-adult-with-julie-lythcott-haims-and-ryan-neale/
• https://mothersquest.com/ep-18-yolo-you-only-live-once-and-other-milestone-reflections-with-ryan-neale/

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A few weeks ago, my dear friend Dana shared a post to her IG stories that said, “A year from now nothing will be the same.”

I immediately took a pause. Dang. What a true statement that I hadn’t previously considered. When I think about where I was this time last year, there are so many things I couldn’t have predicted happening over the last year. My husband’s layoff, a layoff that is still enduring 10 months later. Going to grad school. A number of professional opportunities. A handful of personal breakthroughs, as well as some losses.

When I think about what life could hold a year from now, I realize that there is so much coming that I don’t know about. Yikes! Or… Yay??? I’m not sure which. Maybe a bit of both. 

Wherever you are today, the moment you are in will pass. The things that are hard today will be different a year from now. The things that are great right now will have shifted and evolved - maybe gotten even better, maybe disappeared. And, there are a whole bunch of things coming your way that you don’t know about yet. Big things. Great things. Hard things. 

So, how can you hold space for what’s to come so you’re not devastated by the hard things or unable to engage in the great things? In this episode, I will walk you through 3 ways you can stay open to possibility as life gets ready to life all over you over the next year. 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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Tressa Beheim is an online business manager and strategic partner who supports women entrepreneurs in all that they do. She’s a project manager, back-office coordinator, and a people wrangler who knows product development and online marketing. She goes beyond the typical Online Business Manager with nearly 15 years of experience and knowledge plus the ability to help her clients execute their big (and small!) visions in the real world.

Tressa is one of those extremely organized, type-A people and it aligns perfectly with her role as a strategic partner. Running a micro agency allows her to utilize everything in her toolbox, knowledge and business acumen attained through an MBA, skills mastered through years in a corporate position, and managing businesses since 2009 to help her clients thrive. She is from the United States and has lived abroad in Leipzig, Germany since 2016 with her husband and two daughters.

Listen in to hear Tressa share:

• What it’s like being an expat in Germany
• What it’s like raising 12 and 14-year-olds in a country different from what she grew up in?
• The difference in kids’ independence in Germany and the US
• How she started her business as a virtual assistant when her daughters were very young
• The cost of carrying tons of 5-minute tasks on your To-Do List
• The unexpected gifts of having someone else as a decision-maker and action-taker in your business
• How to know when you need more strategic help in your business

Links mentioned:

• Connect with Tressa: tressabeheim.com
• Tressa on LinkedIn 
• Tressa on IG

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When given the opportunity to try something new, unfamiliar, or uncomfortable, it’s often easier to say NO than YES. It’s typically pretty easy to justify your NO, too.  

Nope, I’m too busy right now. 

Nope, that sounds terrifying. 

Nope, I’m just not ready yet.

For some, NO is a default that prevents critical growth. But, every NO has a cost. When you say NO are you considering all that you’re saying NO to? Often your NO to an opportunity is also a NO to growth, excitement, validation, affirmation, a new level of success, a new skill, new relationships, and an enhanced sense of self.  

When you look at what’s stopping you from saying YES, it is likely self-limiting thoughts, uncomfortable emotions or feelings, and/or limited resources. These can all be very valid objections to missing out on an opportunity. But, sometimes it is well worth pushing back on your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and even resource limitations to consider the value of saying YES while recognizing all the possibilities and potential that this YES could carry.

In this episode, you will have a chance to take a close look at what’s stopping you from saying YES and how you can get out of your own way to make choices that invite growth, advance success, and amplify your sense of self in significant ways.  

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices