Are you engaging in your recovery?  

Every year I pick a word for the year that encapsulates my intentions for the next 12 months.  This year, the word is Engage.  Listen to how and why I chose the word, what it means to me, and what you can do to engage in your recovery on a deeper level!

The longer I've been a coach and therapist, the more I realize recovery has a whole vocabulary all it's own!  I use words people have never heard or analogies most have never heard of.  So many times people ask me to define certain ideas, concepts, or words and want to know how it might work.

In today's episode, I define the concept of "Holding Space" and discuss why we need it, how we do it, and what gets in the way.  Have you ever considered if you can hold space for yourself or what that would look like?  Do you know the breakdown of what happens when we hold space for others or they hold space for us?  What gets in the way of this happening for you?  By the end of the episode you'll know all the answers and more!

Over and over, we begin again.

I believe the practice of beginning again is one of the single most significant gifts you can give yourself.  This is the work of recovery.  After several months of no new episodes and a few years of false starts and on and off again engagement, I begin again.  Isn't that what we all do?  We re-engage.  We start over.  We begin anew.  Hopefully you'll have the courage to do the same in whatever area you need to in your life.

And hopefully you'll allow me to do that same.

All my love!

Amy

Do you feel stuck?  Sometimes, during my 10 year sobriety journey, I have felt very stuck and very upset about being stuck.  In this episode, I talk about how sometimes we keep ourselves stuck.  Not all the time, but sometimes we are our worst enemy in what we are willing to do for our own recovery.  You're not stuck because you can't, you're stuck because you won't.  

Today, December 2, 2022, I celebrate 10 years sober.  In this episode I talk about some of the thinking that had to change for me to achieve this accomplishment and how believing is seeing when it comes to our recovery.

Continuing our Worth Reading series, I share one of the books that was fundamental to my mindset work.  I was struggling with my people pleasing behaviors when my therapist recommended this book.  In this episode, I share the pieces of this book that had the most influence on me.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

In this second part, we continue our discussion about the 12 dimensions of courtship including intimacy, touching, foreplay, intercourse, commitment, and renewal.  These later stages of courtship are some of the hardest things we do in relationships.  

These dimensions come from "Facing the Shadow" a workbook on sex addiction from Dr. Patrick Carnes.  

The goal of sex addiction recovery isn't sobriety.  Sobriety is a tool we use.  But the actual goal of sex addiction recovery is that you have amazing relationships! Relationships that bring renewal and energy to your life!  Relationships that fill you and become an asset to you.  These types of relationships require an understanding of what Courtship is and the different dimensions that courtship can follow. 

Thankfully, Dr. Patrick Carnes has outlined these dimensions and given us a pattern we could follow to help us learn new skills.  Using these dimensions I discuss where we can sometimes get stuck and what skills we need to get ourselves unstuck as we work to improve our relationships.

For decades we've been viewing addiction through the disease lens.  Before that, it was a moral failing.  What is next as we increase our knowledge and understanding about what addiction exactly is and how it starts in our lives?

In this episode I share how my view of addiction has changed over time and how I gauge what is helpful in my own recovery from addiction.

Worth Reading is a series of podcasts where I share my review of books that have had meaning to me throughout the recovery process.

Today I reflect on "Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships" by Kelly McDaniel.  Kelly does a beautiful job explaining some of the unique considerations that need to be made for women in recovery from love, relationship, or sex addiction.  I share some of the most meaningful insights she provides and expand on how they impacted me in recovery.  

In December 2021, I celebrated my 9 year sobriety anniversary.  Wow!  9 Years Sober!  One of my clients asked me, what has changed in my life since becoming sober?  In this episode I share my top 10 changes in my life with longer term sobriety and recovery.  I hope this helps you think about where you're going in recovery and what longer term sobriety and recovery and help you achieve!